Flawless

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‘I did a hell of a lot of travelling while I was over there,’ he said. ‘So, it’s a kind of odyssey in pictures. My tribute to everything I liked best about life Stateside. Places and people that I loved.’

His tone gave nothing away, but Carly found herself wondering how many of those people had been women.

‘It sounds—illuminating,’ she said. ‘Do you intend to go back to America?’

Saul signalled for more coffee. ‘At the moment, I’m not sure,’ he said. ‘My plans are—fluid. I need to see how things work out for me here, once the Flawless assignment is finished.’ He paused. ‘And, while we’re on the subject, have you come to any decision yet?’

Carly gasped. ‘I’ve hardly had time to think,’ she began.

‘Really?’ He gave her a straight look. ‘I had the impression several times tonight that you were so deep in thought you were a million miles away.’

She flushed a little. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve been poor company …’

‘I didn’t say that.’ He leaned forward. ‘If you’re still not sure, spend the day with me tomorrow, and I’ll take some pictures of you—convince you that way.’

Carly shook her head. ‘I can’t tomorrow. I’m going home to visit.’

‘Where is home?’

‘In the country. Very quiet and dull.’

‘With you there?’ He slanted a smile at her. ‘Impossible. Tell you what, why don’t I come with you? I was going to walk you along the Embankment and through the parks, but a rural background would be even better.’

‘I’m sorry, but it’s out of the question.’ Her flush deepened. ‘It’s going to be rather hectic—a houseful of people. My sister’s getting engaged.’

‘Not so quiet and dull, after all,’ he said.

‘It usually is. My family is—very conventional. I don’t think they altogether approve of my life in London.’

‘And what heinous sins do they think you commit? Perhaps I could reassure them.’

‘But you don’t know me,’ she said. ‘You don’t know what I’m capable of.’

‘Not at this moment,’ he said. ‘But I intend to know you, Carly North, in every way there is.’

He was smiling, but as the grey eyes met hers Carly was conscious of a curious intentness in their depths. She felt vulnerable suddenly, and afraid, as if Saul’s gaze was probing too deeply, staring straight into her mind, laying bare all her innermost secrets.

Her heart missed a beat, and her throat felt tight. She said huskily, ‘I find remarks like that—distasteful.’

‘Then I apologise.’ He didn’t sound sorry at all. ‘I’ll begin our acquaintance solely through the lens of a camera, and in no other way, I swear.’ He stretched out a hand to her across the table, and reluctantly she allowed his fingers to close round hers. ‘Will you work with me, Carly North? Will you be my Flawless Girl?’

‘I can’t tell you now. I have to think about it.’ She withdrew her hand from his grasp. ‘May I have the weekend?’

‘I won’t argue with that.’ He took a diary out of an inside pocket of his dinner-jacket, tore out a page and scribbled down a telephone number. ‘Call me on this when you’ve decided.’ He paused. ‘You say that your sister’s getting engaged. What about you, Carly? You’re not wearing any rings, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot in these liberated days. Are you attached? Are there any lovers or husbands lurking in your vicinity?’

‘There’s nobody.’

‘You astound me.’

‘It’s through my own choice.’ She despised the defensiveness in her own voice.

‘I’m sure it is.’

‘Am I allowed to ask you the same question? How many ex-wives have you left sighing over you?’

‘None at all—and no present Mrs Kingsland either.’ He was laughing openly. ‘I am entirely without encumbrances.’

Of course he was, she thought. Saul Kingsland was a rolling stone, a man who would never settle or opt for an ordered existence. He would walk into a woman’s life, take what he wanted, and walk on without a backward look. A wreaker of havoc, unknowing and uncaring. And you didn’t even have to be a woman to suffer at his hands.

Abruptly, Carly pushed back her chair. ‘I really should be going.’

‘Already? It’s still relatively early.’

‘I have to leave first thing in the morning. My mother will be needing help with the arrangements.’

‘Ah, yes,’ he said softly. ‘The devoted daughter rushing back to the bosom of the family. Oddly enough, that’s not the impression I had of you. When I saw you standing in the moonlight, I thought I’d never seen anyone look so solitary—so used to being alone. It just shows how wrong one can be.’

‘First impressions are often misleading.’ She made her voice deliberately dismissive. ‘Would you ask someone to find me a cab, please?’

Saul looked at her in surprise. ‘There’s no need for that. I’ll drive you home.’

‘I—I don’t want to take you out of your way.’

‘That’s very thoughtful of you.’ His smile was sardonic. ‘How do you know that you will be?’

‘I—don’t, actually.’

‘Then there’s no more to be said,’ he told her, indicating to the head waiter that he required the bill.

Carly bit her lip, trying to hide her annoyance.

‘Do you never take “no” for an answer?’ she enquired acidly, when they were in the car, and he was following her reluctantly given instructions.

‘It depends on how positive the “no” is,’ he said. ‘In your case it was just a ploy to prevent me knowing where you lived for some reason, and a useless ploy at that.’

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because there are plenty of ways of finding your address if I were sufficiently desperate,’ he said. ‘There’s the phone book, for starters.’ He slanted a frowning look at her. ‘So, for goodness’ sake calm down, and stop being so damned uptight,’ he went on. ‘There’s nothing to be scared of. You have my word on that. I’m not going to pressure you, or make a nuisance of myself by camping on your doorstep. Perhaps events have moved rather too fast tonight, but from now on we’ll take things just as easily as you wish.’

‘Thank you.’ Her hands gripped tautly together in her lap.

‘I learned some relaxation techniques in the States.’ He didn’t miss a thing. He added, with a smile in his voice, ‘If you asked me nicely, I might be prepared to teach them to you.’

‘I’ll bear it in mind.’ She made herself speak lightly. She’d let him think she’d been instantly attracted to him, for heaven’s sake. Now she was treating him as if he was some plague carrier. ‘Actually, you’re quite right. This evening has been—totally outside my experience. I’m in a state of complete confusion.’

‘I’m still in shock myself,’ Saul said drily. ‘Perhaps the weekend will help us get our heads together.’

The remainder of the journey was completed in silence, to Carly’s relief.

Saul stopped the car, and glanced up at the block of flats. ‘Very nice,’ he commented. ‘Your career really is doing well.’ He paused. ‘Do you live by yourself?’

She shook her head. ‘I share with another girl. She works for a television company.’

‘Is she there at the moment?’

‘No,’ Carly said, before she could stop herself. ‘She’s abroad with a film crew.’

‘Then I’ll go up with you,’ he said.

She looked at him in total dismay, and his mouth tightened.

‘And not for the reasons you seem to think,’ he added bitingly. ‘My motives are actually quite chivalrous. I want to make sure you get home safely.’

‘Don’t you feel you’re being rather over-protective?’

‘No, I don’t. I took a girl home from a party in New York over a year ago. She was independent, too, and insisted on saying goodnight on the pavement. When she got up to her apartment, someone had broken in, and she was attacked and badly injured. If I’d insisted on escorting her to the door, it might not have happened. I’m not taking the risk again.’

‘In case you hadn’t noticed, this is London, not New York.’

‘Just a different part of the jungle, lady.’ He walked up the steps beside her, and opened the swing doors.

She stood beside him in the lift in resentful silence. Walked along the passage to the door, still without speaking.

“May I have your key?’ Saul held out his hand.

‘Oh, this is silly,’ Carly burst out in exasperation as she gave it to him. ‘Just how many times do you think I’ve come back here alone at night? Lucy’s away a lot.’

‘That was in the bad old days.’ He unlocked the door, and pushed it open. ‘Now you don’t have to be alone any more, unless you want to be.’

Carly lifted her chin. ‘Is that a hint that you want to stay for more coffee—or a nightcap—or whatever the current euphemism is? How very obvious.’

‘No,’ he said calmly. ‘It’s more a declaration of intent.’

He was standing very close to her. She could actually feel the warmth of his body. Suddenly Carly found it difficult to breathe. Any moment now, she thought wildly, and he would reach out for her, take her in his arms, and she was terrified. She felt as if she was balanced on a knife-edge, every nerve-ending tingling in alarm and anticipation.

Kiss me, she thought, her heart beating violently against her ribcage. Kiss me and get it over with.

As he moved, her eyelids fluttered down, and her lips parted in a little unconscious sigh. Her whole body tensed, waiting to feel his hands on her, his mouth against hers.

He said quietly, ‘Goodnight, Flawless Girl. Call me after the weekend, and let me know what you’ve decided.’

The door closed softly, and he was gone.

Carly’s eyes flew open, and she stood rigid for a long moment, staring at the enigmatic wooden panels; then, with a small sob, she hurled herself forward, putting up the chain and securing the interior bolt with hands that shook.

She’d been so sure that, in spite of her protestations, he would offer at least a token pass. Now, paradoxically, she felt that he’d made a fool of her.

And that’s ridiculous, she thought. Because Saul Kingsland is the one who’s been fooled. I’ve done it. I’ve succeeded. I’ve won.

She laughed out loud, and the sound echoed eerily in the quiet flat.

She walked into her bedroom, shedding her few clothes as she went, and straight into the bathroom which separated her room from Lucy’s, stepping into the shower, and turning the warm spray full on. She stood motionless, letting the water pour over her, soaking her hair, and running in rivulets down her skin.

Washing Saul Kingsland away.

But only for the time being, she reminded herself with a sharp stab of excitement as she reluctantly turned off the water, and stepped back on to the thick mat, reaching for a towel.

On Monday, she would make that call, and after that—she drew a breath. After that, whatever would be, would be.

As she turned, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and almost recoiled. It was like seeing a stranger, or her own bad angel, eyes glittering with malevolence, bright, febrile colour along her cheekbones, the soft mouth starkly compressed.

Revenge might be sweet, but, dear heaven, what would it cost her in human terms?

The image in the mirror blurred suddenly and, bending her head, Carly began to weep—for the girl she’d been, and for the woman she’d become.

The sun was pouring into the bedroom the next morning, as she packed a weekend bag with her usual economy. The dress she had bought specially to wear for the party was already waiting in its protective cover, and she grimaced slightly as she lifted it down and carried it out to her car.

A greater contrast to the dress she’d worn the previous night could not be imagined, she thought wryly. But then, she hardly looked the same girl at all. She was simply and casually dressed in tailored cream linen trousers with a matching jacket over a short-sleeved khaki T-shirt. Her hair was gathered into a single plait, and allowed to hang over one shoulder, and her face was innocent of all cosmetics but a touch of moisturiser.

As she loaded the car, she couldn’t resist a furtive look round. In spite of his assurances, Saul Kingsland might be there watching her, perhaps from one of the row of parked cars across the street.

Oh, stop it, she adjured herself impatiently. That’s the way to paranoia.

Traffic was heavy, and getting out of London required all her concentration. She couldn’t relax until trees and fields began to replace suburban sprawl. She lowered the window a little, to enjoy the sunlit breeze, and put a cassette of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons into the tape machine, then sat back to savour the remainder of her journey.

An hour later, she turned the car into the gravelled sweep of the drive and saw the familiar red-brick Georgian bulk of the house awaiting her. She drove round to the rear, and parked in the former stables, slotting her Polo in between her father’s Bentley and the sedate estate car her mother preferred.

She sat for a moment, staring in front of her, then, with a smothered sigh, collected her things, and walked down the covered way to the side entrance.

There was a lot of activity already, she saw. A large marquee had been erected on the lawn, and folding tables and chairs were being carried into it. As she watched, a florist’s van drew up in front of the house, and two women dressed in pink overalls got out. Presently, no doubt, the caterers’ vehicles would also be arriving.

Mother will be in her element, Carly thought, her mouth twisting. She’ll be able to use it as a trial run for Susan’s actual wedding. And I’m about as necessary in all this as an extra thumb.

She caught a movement in the large conservatory which flanked the lawn and, smiling a little, trod quietly across the gravel and stood in the doorway watching the tall, grey-haired man who was deftly repotting some plants.

‘Hello, Father.’

He turned with an obvious start, and peered at her. ‘Why, Caroline,’ he said, ‘so you’ve come. Your mother wasn’t sure … Well, this is splendid—splendid.’ He paused, then added another vague, ‘Splendid.’

Carly bit her lip. ‘I did say I was coming,’ she said, quietly. ‘If I’m not expected—if my room’s being used, I can always try the pub.’

‘Certainly not. I’m sure your room’s ready and waiting for you, my dear, although, of course, your mother always handles those arrangements. She’s in the drawing-room, having coffee with your Aunt Grace. I said I’d join them once I’d finished this and washed my hands, but now …’ His voice tailed off expectantly.

‘But now that I’ve arrived, it will let you off the hook,’ Carly supplied drily.

‘Well, all this talk about engagements and weddings,’ he said. ‘Not my sort of thing at all, you know. They’ll start on christenings next, I dare say,’ he added with disfavour.

‘I can imagine.’ Carly slanted a smile at him. ‘Stay with your beloved plants, Dad. I’ll try and ensure you’re not missed.’