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“I see, and you’re taking my son along on these dates?” Clay rose from his chair and leaned forward, the tips of his fingers resting on the tabletop. His eyes had gone as dark as the sea before a storm.
“Occasionally, if it’s a family activity....”
“But not on the private activities between the two of you?”
Anger flushed Becca’s face red, brought her hands to her waist and her chin higher into the air. “Just exactly what are you implying, Clay?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m asking if you’re being careful around Jimmy.”
“We’re certainly not doing anything wrong, Clay, and furthermore, I don’t see why you would think it was any of....”
The back door flew open and banged against the wall, startling them both. They whirled around to see Becca’s youngest sister, Brittnie struggling into the room. Her arms were full of a large scrapbook and several photograph albums. A small baker’s box rode precariously on top. Her face was turned away as she steadied the box against her cheek.
“Hi, Sis,” she huffed, reaching behind her with her foot to shut the door against the March breeze, and at the same time, making a grab for the sliding box. “I picked up the stuff you wanted from Dan’s Bakery. His wedding cakes are the best in town. He sent a photo album of his best cakes and a sample of the lemon one. I had the chocolate one last year at Brenda Luna’s reception. It was wonderful. I think you and Barry will be happy with any of them.” Abandoning her struggle with the door, she turned around and said, “Hey, can you help me out here? I’ve got my hands full, you know, and you’re just standing there like your shoes are nailed to the...” Her eyes widened and her voice trailed off when she spotted Clay. “Floor,” she finished in a sinking tone. She darted a quick glance at Becca, licked her lips and said meekly, “Hi, Clay.”
“Hello, Brittnie.” He straightened away from the table and moved toward her with a smooth, gliding stride that made Becca think of a stalking panther. “What did you say you’ve got there?”
Brittnie, whom Becca had always considered to be the fast thinker in the family, whipped around, dumped the articles on the counter behind her sister, then stood shoulder to shoulder with her and gave her former brother-in-law a big, empty-headed smile. “Oh, nothing, just some...Oh, nothing.”
Clay stood before the two of them and tried to peek over their shoulders. “What was all the talk about wedding cakes?”
“Dad, I put my book away,” Jimmy shouted from the living room. His pounding feet were fast approaching the kitchen. “Can we go now?”
When he skidded to a halt in the doorway, Becca looked at his expectant face, then threw a frantically pleading glance at Brittnie, who leaped away from the counter and swooped toward her nephew.
“Hey, Sport,” she said cheerily. “Your mom and dad need to have a little talk. Why don’t you show me your rock collection?” Over his loud protests, she swept him into her arms.
“You already saw my rock collection,” he insisted, arching away from her and giving his parents ah anxious look. “Are Mom and Dad gonna have a fight?”
“No, no, of course not,” Brittnie assured him though her voice had an edge that said she didn’t believe that, either.
“’Cause I don’t like it when they fight.”
“They won’t fight,” she reassured him as she hustled him away.
In the kitchen, Becca stared at Clay, as fascinated as a cobra held fast by a mongoose. Bit by bit, the polite but cool expression he had worn for the past half hour crumbled away as if a stone mask was being chipped off.
His eyes darkened, his thick brows drew together like gathering thunderclouds and his jaw tightened. “Wedding cakes, Becca?” he asked in a silky tone. “Now just why would you be interested in wedding cakes? And why would Barry be interested in wedding cakes right along with you?”
Becca felt as if her heart had dropped to her stomach, then bounced back up again. Now it was stuck behind her esophagus, cutting off her air. She cleared her throat and opened her dry mouth to speak, but it was a moment before anything came out.
“We...uh, we...he...’re getting mar...married,” she wheezed, stretching the words out, then could have kicked herself for reacting as if she’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Married?” he asked, moving to stand towering over her. “You and Barry?”
“That’s...that’s right.”
“This is the first I’ve heard of it, Becca. In fact, I just learned five minutes ago that you two are dating.”
“Well, well, we are,” she bluffed, holding her chin at such an exaggerated angle that she feared her jaw would crack. “I’ve been dating Barry for three months now.”
“And now you’re going to many him?”
“That’s right. We...we just made the decision a few days ago.” Finally, her fear of his reaction began to fade and her natural stubbornness kicked in. “And frankly, I don’t see that this is really any of your business, Clay.”
“The hell it isn’t. Anything that affects my son is my business and your remarriage will definitely affect him. What does he think of this, by the way?”
Becca glanced away. “He likes Barry.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Clay reached out, snagged her chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced her to look at him. “What does Jimmy think about having Barry for a stepfather?”
Although the rough callouses on his thumb chaffed her skin, Becca didn’t pull away. She met his eyes steadily.
After a moment, Clay’s eyes widened in shock, his hand dropped to his side and he said, “I’ll be damned. You haven’t told him yet, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
Now she was losing her defensiveness and getting angry, too. “Don’t swear at me, Clay. I haven’t told him yet because I was waiting for the right moment.”
Clay’s hands rose slowly to his waist and his jaw thrust forward belligerently. “And just when would that be? Five minutes before you walked down the aisle?”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t tell him yet because I didn’t want to spoil his skiing vacation with you.” Immediately, she knew she had said the wrong thing, but she couldn’t backtrack now.
Clay jumped on her mistake like a cat landing on a mouse. “Are you listening to yourself?” he asked in a scoffing tone. “If news of your marriage would spoil his vacation, then it must not be good news.”
Becca’s hands dropped and curled into fists. “I meant that he would be thinking about it a great deal and not enjoying his time with you.” Finally, she just shut her mouth, knowing she was doing nothing but making things worse. She took a deep breath. “Listen, this isn’t getting us anywhere. Why don’t you go on your skiing trip and have a good time? When you get back, we’ll sit down together with Jimmy and explain everything.”
Clay stared at her. “Fat chance.”
“You said yourself that his reaction to our divorce would be much easier for him if he thinks we’re on friendly terms.”
“I wasn’t talking about this! Besides, why would he think we would be on friendly terms about you marrying again, Bec? We haven’t been on friendly terms about much of anything in two years.”
“Then it’s time we started,” Becca snapped.
She longed for him to leave, to let her sit down, rub away the headache that was beginning to pound in her temples and figure out how she had made such a mess of this when she’d had it so carefully planned.
Clay drew away, his hands dropped to his sides where they opened and closed a couple of times as he said, “This isn’t the end of this, Becca. You have no right to spring something like this on Jimmy—or on me, for that matter.”
He turned and strode from the room, snatching up Jimmy’s duffel bag and calling his name as he went. Becca was left to slump against the counter and try to catch her breath.
“Stupid, stupid,” she muttered fiercely, thumping the heel of her hand against her forehead. She had to do a better job of handling things like this or her life would continue to be a battleground even after she married Barry, and Jimmy would always be caught in the middle.
When she felt a little steadier, she pulled herself up straight, smoothed her dress, and walked into the living room. Jimmy was giving Brittnie a goodbye hug, but when he saw Becca, he broke away and rushed toward her, anxious to be reassured that everything was okay between his mom and dad, have the goodbyes over, and be on his way.
Quietly, she reassured him that she and Clay had finished their discussion and things were fine. Becca hugged him tightly and kissed him until he wiggled away. “Mom, that’s enough kissing,” he said, holding her off. “I gotta go. Dad’s waiting.”
At last, Becca looked up and met Clay’s eyes. They were still full of fire laced with accusation that was aimed at her. He had picked his hat up from the coffee table and was slapping it against his leg, his gestures so controlled she knew he was still seething.
From nowhere, guilt washed over her. This time, she couldn’t convince herself that she had done nothing wrong.
“Are you okay to drive, Clay?”
He gave her a look that asked if she was kidding and said, “We’ll be back Saturday night.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper. “Here’s the number where you can reach us.”
She took it from him. “All...all right. Thank you.”
Becca looked at him as Jimmy opened the front door and began dragging his duffel bag onto the porch and Brittnie slipped away to the kitchen. Probably to see if it was still standing, Becca thought.
This is the place where, in the past, she would have thrown herself into Clay’s arms and clung to him, hating the weakness in her that seemed to demand that everything be smoothed out between them before he left. This is when he would have kissed her until she was breathless and promised to be home as soon as possible.
They couldn’t do that now. They were divorced so such displays were out of the question. Also, there were too many bad things crowding out whatever good had been between them.
She clasped her hands in front of her and rocked on her boot heels as she broke eye contact with him. “Well, I’ll be seeing you on Saturday, then, Clay.”
With a nod, he placed his hat on his head and strode outside. She followed, watching as he stowed Jimmy’s bag in the back of the Explorer, then buckled their son’s seat belt securely and climbed in behind the wheel. Jimmy waved excitedly as they backed out. Her answering wave was as cheerful as she could make it. She mouthed “I love you’s” to him.
Clay lifted his head suddenly, his eyes locking with hers as the Explorer rolled into the street. He was looking at her, at the way she addressed her love to their son, and that’s why he didn’t see Joey Emerson’s Monte Carlo as it broke over the top of the hill and raced down the street toward them.
CHAPTER TWO
THE hospital waiting room doors flew open and Becca looked up to see Mary Jane and Shannon Kelleher rushing toward her, anxiety in their faces. Relieved, but shaking, she stood to be folded in her stepmother’s arms. Although Mary Jane was only thirteen years older than she, Becca, who couldn’t even remember the woman who had given birth to her, had always thought of her as her true mother, and her best friend. Her half-sister, Shannon, crowded close. She was taller than the other two women. She put her arms around them both so that the three of them were held tightly together.
Becca gave her sister a welcoming look. She had recently begun a new job with the county government’s soil conservation office and she had a very tough boss. Becca was grateful her sister had been able to get away.
“Brittnie called,” Mary Jane said, pulling away to look into Becca’s pale face and tear-bright eyes. She touched her stepdaughter’s cold cheek. “She told us everything. How is Jimmy? And Clay? And the Emerson boy?”
Becca took a trembling breath, beginning to feel steadier now that her family had arrived. “Jimmy bumped his head on the door. He’s got a lump above his right eye and he’s shaken up, but he’ll be fine. Dr. Kress is keeping him here overnight to watch him. They’re getting him settled in his room, which is why I’m out here. And Joey Emerson wasn’t even scratched. I don’t know how that happened. Clay is hurt the worst because Joey’s car hit directly on his side. He seems to have a concussion and his left leg is broken, but we won’t know how badly either of those injuries is until the X rays are finished.” She looked around vaguely. “It should be pretty soon.”
Mary Jane put her hand on Becca’s arm and gently drew her back to the sofa. Becca went willingly, grateful for her mother’s calm efficiency. Nothing much seemed to rattle her. Becca had realized years ago that Mary Jane had a core of strength she could only hope to equal someday.
“Have you called Barry?” Mary Jane asked.
“He’s out of town today,” Becca answered as she sat. “In Denver on family business.” She wished he was here. His steady presence and rational thoughtfulness were exactly what she needed right now.
Mary Jane gave her another quick hug. “Maybe you can get in touch with him later. We’ll wait with you. Where’s Brittnie, by the way?”
“Gone for coffee.”
Shannon shuddered as she sat down. “That should bring back some unpleasant memories,” she commented with a touch of irony. She tossed her long black hair back over her shoulders and looked at her sister with sympathy in her dark eyes. “It’s the worst coffee in the world, but we drank gallons of it when Dad was in here.”
“How well I remember,” Becca agreed quietly. Her hands fell to rest loosely in her lap as she stared morosely at the floor.
Hal Kelleher had died of cancer three years ago in this very hospital. In many ways it had torn his family apart even as it had drawn them closer together. They had all gone on with their lives. Mary Jane stubbornly clung to their ranch, working it alone, with the occasional help of her daughters, a few members of her extended family, and any good hand she could hire. Both Brittnie and Shannon had finished college and Becca....
Thinking of her firm, no-nonsense father, Becca was fully aware of what he would say if he knew her marriage had broken up. He had adored Jimmy and would have been incensed at the potential harm the divorce might cause the boy. He’d thought the world of Clay, though the two men couldn’t have been more different. Hal had been a man with no guile and few secrets. Everyone knew where they stood with him. He had always said that once a person started something, that person had to keep on until it was finished. He wouldn’t have approved of the way she had given up on her marriage. And he really wouldn’t have approved the argument she’d had with Clay just before he’d pulled out of her driveway.
Mary Jane sat beside her and lightly rubbed her shoulders as Becca propped her elbow on the arm of the uncomfortable sofa and put her forehead in her palm as she relived the horror of the moment when she’d seen the Monte Carlo heading straight for Clay. She had thrown her front door open and sped down the walk before the two vehicles had even made contact, frantically yelling Clay’s and Jimmy’s names. Brittnie had heard her and run from the kitchen.
The instant the accident was over, Brittnie had phoned for the police and paramedics while Becca had wrestled Jimmy’s door open to find him crying and disoriented. She had checked the cut on his head, then climbed in beside him to examine Clay, who had been unconscious, his side of the windshield crumpled into his lap and the water from the Monte Carlo’s radiator shooting like a fountain into the air, soaking them both through the broken window. Inanely, she noticed his beloved Stetson lying on the floor of the vehicle. It was crushed, soaked, and probably ruined.
Becca looked down at the stains of water and engine coolant that still marked her dress, wondering vaguely if they could ever be washed out. Not that it mattered when she thought about the injuries Clay had suffered.
For an unspeakable moment, she’d thought Clay was dead, and a welter of emotions had blasted through her terror before she had found his pulse, then bone-melting relief when she had realized he was alive, followed by tenderness when he had groggily awakened, rolled his head against her supporting arm, smiled, and said, “Hi, babe. What’s the matter?” Then he’d passed out again.
Clay had drifted in and out as the neighbors had rushed from their homes, Joey Emerson had stumbled, unhurt, from his car, and the emergency vehicles had arrived with sirens blaring and lights flashing.
That had been more than an hour ago and this was the first moment she had found to think about the full impact of what had happened and what could have happened to her son and husband. Ex-husband, she reminded herself, realizing that it was an easy label to pin on Clay, but it wasn’t nearly as easy to hang that label on her feelings for him—especially after today’s trauma.
Becca looked up as she heard Brittnie bustling back into the room, grateful for the interruption of her troubled and confusing thoughts.
“Hi, Mom, Shannon,” she greeted them as she set two cups of coffee on the low table that stood in front of the sofa. “Here, Becca. Try some of this coffee. I know it looks like axle grease, but it might help perk you up.”
“Either that, or she’ll be awake all night,” Shannon responded, eyeing the black stuff.
“She will be anyway,” Brittnie pointed out.
She sat beside Shannon. With her dark blonde hair and lively gray eyes, she looked like the smaller, sunnier version of their father. She liked short skirts, music and dancing and fun of all types. If there was any fun to be had, Brittnie would be in the center of it. She had recently graduated from college with a degree in library science, but she certainly didn’t fit the stereotype of a librarian. She was far more likely to be the one making noise than the one quieting the noisemakers.
Becca took a sip from the foam cup. It tasted as bad as she remembered, but at least it gave her something to do with her hands. At the sound of footsteps, she looked up to see Dr. Kress approaching. Setting the cup down shakily, she stood to meet him.
Frank Kress was a tall, affable man in his fifties. He had a warm manner, but when he was worried about a patient, he became brisk and blunt. Becca braced herself and searched his face to see if it betrayed his mood. She remembered the staccato rap of his voice when he’d told them Hal Kelleher couldn’t live through the night—and the tears in his eyes when he spoke the words.
“Ah, Becca, there you are,” he said, spying her.
She felt herself relax when he gave her a slight smile and sat down in one of the chairs. He flexed his shoulders, rolled his head from side to side and gave a great sigh. “Well, honey, your menfolk have been mighty lucky. Jimmy’s going to have a headache for a couple of days and will probably whine about it the whole time. Clay has a concussion that needs to be watched carefully for at least a week and his leg is broken in two places. I’ve casted it, but he’d better take care of it or risk permanent injury. He’s got to stay here for a few days, then he can go home.”
Becca stared at him. “Home?” Clay had no home. He’d given up the apartment he had in Boulder. His furniture had been put in storage, the few belongings he carried with him from job to job had no doubt been packed and shipped to Venezuela. She knew exactly what arrangements had been made because she had been part of such moves for five years.
Becca shot a quick glance at her mother and sisters whose concerned expressions matched her own.
“Yes, home,” Dr. Kress continued gruffly. “I don’t know where that is for him, and I’ve already told you my opinion of this damned divorce. If your dad was alive he’d probably tan both your hides.”
Becca did, indeed, know his opinion. He’d expressed it in great detail when he’d treated her for bronchitis in January, then again when she’d had her annual physical last week.
“Don’t worry, Frank,” Mary Jane said, stepping forward and touching his shoulder. “We’ll take care of it.”
The doctor stood and gave a satisfied nod. “Good,” he said. “I was hoping I could depend on you. You can see Clay in a little while.”
After Dr. Kress had left, Becca gave her mother and sisters a despairing look, then sat down heavily on the sofa. “Clay can’t go back to Boulder. He gave up his apartment. He has no family to take care of him while he recovers. He is due to leave for Venezuela at the end of next week.”
“Doesn’t sound like he’s going to make his flight,” Brittnie said in a dry tone.
Mary Jane looked at all three of her daughters, then focused on Becca. “He can come out to the ranch. I’ll take care of him.”
Becca stared at her. “Absolutely not You’re right in the middle of calving, soon you’ll be moving the herd... There’s no way you could take on a patient—and believe me, Clay is not the best of patients.”
