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She smiled. It was a fairly innocuous joke after all, but she regretted it immediately, remembering that it was in fact she who’d been at fault. Before she had a chance to apologise, and without a word, Adam turned and walked away into what Holly found out later was the lounge. She didn’t know whether to be cross or embarrassed. But she was human so cross won the day.
‘That’s the second time he’s done that to me today. Is he always so rude?’
‘The thing is,’ Steve said ruefully, ‘Buttercup died. The calf survived but he’s convinced that if he’d only got there a bit sooner he could have saved them both. Feels that if he hadn’t got tied up with you he might have been in time.’
‘Tied up!But that’s ridiculous! The whole thing was over in less than two minutes.’ It was Holly’s turn now to be red-faced. ‘He can’t possibly blame me. That’s so unfair!’
‘You’re quite right, of course. But he takes this doctor/patient thing very seriously. Gets thoroughly upset if any of them die on him. He really is a damned good vet though. Come on now. Where are my manners? Let’s get you a drink.’
The four of them moved into the main reception room where Emma and Tom had gone to mingle and there were now twenty or so people gathered. Holly tried not to gasp and failed miserably. She had cause enough.
‘What a fantastic room!’
She was completely enchanted. Wider from the doorway than long, it must have measured about twenty-eight by twenty feet.
‘And look at those windows.’
The left wall was broken up by two of them, each with very deep sills. Between them was an oak unit housing several attractive and, she suspected, very expensive pieces. Her professional eye appreciated the heavy drapes with cushions covered in the same material and scattered apparently randomly on dark wooden benches filling the alcoves beneath the curtains. The opposite wall was a mirror image of the first.
‘Even with the timber lining it must be really bright in here during the day.’
Phoebe and Steve had moved off and Gordon put a glass of red wine in her hand (how did he know it was her favourite?) and, with his hand on her elbow, led her across the floor to where a huge log fire was pouring out heat from the ingle. Time to remove the cardigan and show off the lacy top.
‘Yes, Kate’s got a great touch, which is just as well because Charlie doesn’t have a clue. Leaves all that sort of thing to her.’
‘If this is the result I’m not surprised.’
Traditional furniture matched the oak panelling and three-legged stools stood either side of the fire, just far enough away not to make one’s face burn. Holly, always seduced by the smell of wood smoke, breathed it in like an animal scenting its prey. Phoebe, Steve, and Gordon did a good job of looking after her and between them made sure she mingled with all the other guests – all except Adam.
Everyone else was really nice. Adam didn’t glance in Holly’s direction the whole evening. Not that she was looking at him either. She was at a party, having a wonderful time and not having to peer over her shoulder half the time to see if Harry was behaving himself. She hardly even saw Emma and Tom but Emma did, at one stage, whisper in her ear: ‘I see you don’t want us now you’ve got new friends. Don’t forget. We’re walking you home. Unless, that is, you get a better offer.’
‘Ratbag!’ Holly said affectionately as she moved on. ‘I’ll talk to you later.’
She didn’t get a better offer. At least, not one she was prepared to accept on such short acquaintance and, though Gordon seemed very keen and offered to walk her home ‘because the village is obviously so much more dangerous than London’, she declined after a short internal struggle.
‘I appreciate your concern,’ she said with a smile, ‘but I think Emma and Tom might be offended if I didn’t think them sufficient escort to their own home.’
She’d felt an immediate attraction to this large man and had sensed a corresponding spark in Gordon, though perhaps spark was the wrong word. More like a gleam in the eye. Definitely like a gleam in the eye. But she didn’t want to be alone with him so soon after their first meeting. She hadn’t been single for long and was enjoying the feeling of freedom it gave her. At least, that’s what she told herself. In truth, though she’d left Harry behind, she wasn’t ready to move on, even on a superficial level.
As they walked home she told Emma about her confrontation with Adam that morning by the river and then at the party. Well, she told Emma and Tom but as he was somewhat the worse for wear he didn’t pay very much attention. Emma was indignant on Holly’s behalf but quite surprised as well.
‘But he’s such a sweetheart! Wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Well, of course he wouldn’t. Likes animals. Looks after them. Wouldn’t scare the shit out of them, would he?’
‘Well he certainly scared the shit out of me.’
‘I know he takes his work seriously and he’s very dedicated, but I’ve never heard of him giving anyone a bollocking before, though I do know he can be quite short. I think it’s because he’s shy.’
‘Shy! He certainly wasn’t shy this morning. Honestly, Emma, I feel awful. You don’t really think it was my fault that he couldn’t save Buttercup, do you?’
‘Course not. It’s just that Adam’s such a perfectionist, and anyway he was rather fond of Buttercup. How could you not be fond of a cow called Buttercup? He was probably just trying to lay the blame at someone else’s door because of what he might otherwise have to regard as his own shortcomings. Can’t bear to lose a patient.’
‘Yeah, that’s what Steve said. I wonder if he’s going to hold it against me for ever. I’m damned if I can see why I should be the scapegoat!’
‘Or even the scapecow,’ Emma retorted, clearly rather pleased with her little joke.
Chapter Three (#u087cf73f-931b-5769-b50f-a7645a10a441)
Christmas was approaching hard it seemed on the heels of the party and Emma and Tom were going to stay with parents over the holidays. They’d invited Holly to go with them but it didn’t seem fair to take advantage when it was a time for families to be together. She knew both sets of parents, Emma’s particularly well, and this was going to be her first Christmas without Harry. He’d been her bolster since she’d lost her own mum and dad. Who was going to bolster her now?
To say she was apprehensive was more than an understatement but this was the new Holly. Independent-Girl was now her middle name which, she realised, taking her initials made her HIGH. What could she do to make sure she stayed that way? It was time to go to Scotland!
It wasn’t quite as random a decision as it sounded. She decided to take the opportunity to visit her uncle. Uncle Mac – no Scottish blood in her family but that had been his nickname ever since he’d moved up north when Holly was a child – had invited her several times since her mum and dad died and now seemed like a good time to accept. She hardly knew him. The only time she’d seen him in recent years was at her parents’ funeral after the accident she found it so difficult even to think about.
She was having serious second thoughts as the train carried her north. Well, she decided, short of jumping ship, or in this case train, I guess I’ve got to go through with it now. Not only were Holly’s fears unfounded, but Uncle Mac was so much like her mother only bigger, she felt an immediate sense of belonging as well.
All three of her cousins were there with their respective other halves and offspring and dinner on Christmas Day was a riotous affair. It was Hogmanay though that Holly was particularly looking forward to. She eventually came away strongly of the opinion that anyone who’s never spent New Year Scottish style ought at least to give it a try. Only once though, unless they have a very strong head.
Like many people, Holly had always used the television to check the exact time to pop open the champagne. She’d seen the spectacle and heard the bagpipes and she thought she knew how they celebrated north of the border. Television, she was forced to conclude, was nothing like the real thing. Nothing!
Once she’d regained her ability to focus and could walk in a straight line she went back to Cuffingham to stay with Emma and Tom again, promising to stay in touch with her family in Scotland. Her father hadn’t had any brothers or sisters and she realised, she’d never thought about it before, that these were her only relatives in the whole world. They’d looked after her and loved her. Tears had been shed and she’d felt a wee bit empty on the way home.
Tom was at work, Emma and the boys had gone back to school, and she was quite lonely during the day. This was due in part to the fact that she hadn’t had a single moment on her own during her trip to Scotland except when she went to bed, and the days had been so full that her nights were peaceful and dream free. It’s possible alcohol might have been a contributory factor too.
It was very quiet back in Cuffingham. Once Emma and the boys came home everything was fine. There was no way anyone could feel lonely in that household, but she wasn’t in her own home yet and the days seemed to stretch interminably.
She spent some time thinking about Harry. The exchange of letters with her solicitor didn’t help. Everything was going through as planned and, while she didn’t for one moment think she’d made a mistake – painful experience had taught her otherwise – they had spent several years of her adult life together and she couldn’t dismiss them as if they’d never happened. Nor would she have wanted to. Some of it had been good … very good. Especially in those first few years before he’d begun to stray. And later, when she thought he’d stopped straying. Later still, when she’d hoped he had.
***
Holly wasn’t the only one who’d been regretting her outburst the day she met Adam. He had remonstrated with himself more than once. Okay, so he was worried about Buttercup, but that was no excuse for such bullish behaviour. And then to follow it up by ignoring her at the party. What am I – a child? Adam too had been bowled over that day by the river, though in quite a different way from Holly.
He was normally impervious to the lures that women extended to him, completely unaware of his own charm and air of unavailability and indeed vulnerability. There are few women who can resist that. He still carried around with him the scar of a failed relationship when his fiancée had abandoned him only weeks before the wedding. It was all he’d needed to confirm that with animals, unlike people, you know exactly where you stand. If they don’t like you they let you know but if they love you there is no doubting their sincerity. So animals, already a major part of his life, became his everything. The place where he felt safe.
When Adam had bumped into Holly his reaction, instead of leaning forward to help her up, had been to step back, just a physical manifestation of what he’d been doing metaphorically for the last five years. He was ashamed of himself for such a lack of manners.
While Holly was still in Scotland Adam had met up with Emma when he went to give a talk about family pets at her school, a twice-yearly project that he enjoyed immensely. He’d taken a rabbit with him and there had been a handling session where the pupils had learned to show respect to another living breathing creature. Fits of laughter too when Adam had asked for a volunteer and, with permission, had turned the child upside down and flung him over his shoulder. ‘This is how NOT to do it.’ The volunteer had laughed loudest of all.
During Emma’s break over a cup of coffee they’d talked about Holly.
‘I know she’s beginning to feel uncomfortable being with us so long but actually I can’t wait for her to get back tomorrow. It’s like being back at uni, and school before that, when we’re together.’
‘You go back a long way?’
‘For ever. That’s why it hurt so much watching her marriage disintegrate and not being able to do anything to help – well, except listen on the phone from what felt like a million miles away.’
Adam tried not to appear too curious but Holly had piqued his interest, no doubt about that.
‘That bad?’
‘Frankly he was a bit of a bastard. Handsome. Charming. I’ve no doubt he loved Holly, still does probably, and she him, but one woman is never enough for his sort. In the end she couldn’t take it any more and to be honest I’m not sure she’ll ever trust anyone ever again.’
Adam had all the confirmation he needed that any approach to Holly would be rebuffed, even if he could have gotten past the disaster of their first two meetings.
***
When Holly returned to Cuffingham she resumed her voluntary work at the local old folks’ home, something she’d started doing quite soon after moving in with Emma and Tom. She’d spent a couple of weeks unsuccessfully looking for temporary work but this was more because she wanted something constructive to do rather than that she needed an income. Aside from her work at the gallery, helping at a nearby centre was one of the ways she’d filled her time while living in London. She had a gift for it. And it made her feel fulfilled.
There was an arts and crafts room at the home and Holly did what she did best. With a couple of the residents she used modelling clay, warming it in her hands before placing it in theirs and helping them move stiff fingers to form recognisable shapes.
‘I could hardly move my fingers before you came,’ one had said. ‘Now I can’t wait to get in here every day and see what else I can make.’
With others she demonstrated some of the techniques of using watercolours and with those unable to hold a brush she, and they, had a hilarious time using finger paints. There was also a supply of coloured felt for those who could hold a pair of scissors – albeit not very sharp and with rounded ends – together with pompoms, feathers, and coloured paper for pasting onto heavy-duty card. Some rather spectacular collages were created and the walls of the craft room were rapidly becoming covered.
‘Oh but just look at all these trees,’ Holly had gasped on her return after the holidays. ‘You’ve all done so well.’ Before going away she’d cut out Christmas trees in varying sizes. Some of them had holes in. Those with holes had been interwoven with decorations and hung from the ceiling. Others that had been painted or covered in gummed stickers vied for wall space with the collages. Corner to corner across the large room paper chains had been hung, made with care and sometimes with a little pain by the residents. It must have taken them ages and had been finished while she’d been away.
‘We couldn’t wait to see your face when you came back again,’ said one.
‘No, and it was definitely worth waiting for,’ said another.
They were so proud of themselves, as was Holly, and it was unlikely that these particularly seasonal decorations would be taken down any time soon. Her one day a week at the home was the only time, other than when the Carters were at home, that she was able to forget about the loneliness that seemed to creep into bed with her every night in the dark hours. Two weeks after she returned to Cuffingham from Scotland she picked up the keys to her new home.
***
Moving Day! Not most people’s idea of a good time no matter how much the end may justify the means. Holly wasn’t having a great time. Okay, the level of excitement was way off the scale. But though in her mind she’d left almost everything behind – and as far as furniture was concerned she had – the actuality was that there were a lot of things she needed to find places for and for the most part she had no idea where she was going to put them. Most important was her mother’s old pine table. She’d hovered as the removal men lifted it off the van and manoeuvred it into the house.
‘Don’t worry, luv, a few more scratches and dents won’t make any difference. Lovely old piece, it is, but seen better days.’
‘It was my mother’s,’ she’d said, which she’d thought would explain her anxiety while it was being moved, and it did.
‘Know what you mean, Mrs Hunter. My wife’s still got her mum’s old work basket. Means more to her than anything.’
The table went into the extension. There had never been any doubt where it would go because there definitely wasn’t enough room for it in the tiny dining room. Instead all her paintings, and they were many, and all her art materials had been stacked in that otherwise empty room. Her clothes were put in the smaller of the two bedrooms for the time being, the main one comfortably accommodating the new king-sized bed without looking silly. Surprisingly for a cottage it was a decently sized room.
After the removal men had gone Holly went from room to room before twirling around ballerina-style, but with slightly less grace, and shouting ‘Wheeeee!’ into the silence. Then she took a closer look at the furniture that Mrs Foster had left. It would have to do for the time being, and maybe even for ever. Much like her mother’s table it had seen better days but it went well with the old cottage and the artist in her could see the beauty in its lines. She was very happy with it. By the time she’d made up the bed the day was well advanced and she was just wondering what to do next when Emma arrived.
‘Tom said he’d pick up the twins from school so I could come round to see if you needed any help.’
‘Well, the floors need scrubbing. I remember you offering that to me as a high treat when I came to stay with you.’
‘As if. Seriously, is there anything? I really came over to drag you back with me for something to eat. I knew you wouldn’t have even thought about food.’
‘You’re not kidding anyone. What you actually came over for was to have a good nose.’
‘You know me so well.’
‘Pity you weren’t here a bit earlier. You could have helped me make the bed. I know it’s big for one, particularly a little one like me, but it’s a luxury I promised myself after Harry and I split up.’
Holly looked up at Emma. ‘You’re a teacher. You do craft with the kids. Any good at assembling flat-pack furniture?’
‘You don’t catch me out that way. I’ve seen those flat-pack things before. Is it urgent?’
‘No, just a couple of cupboards. They’ve been dumped in the spare bedroom with my clothes but I’m happy to live out of boxes for the time being. In any case, there’s a huge built-in wardrobe cupboard in my bedroom that’ll take most of my clothes. The rest is for storage really and I’m in no hurry to move things from one place to another just for the sake of it. You serious about food?’
‘When was I ever not serious about food?’
‘Then I’d love to. Thank you.’
***
Holly’s kitchen was immaculate but sadly lacking in fundamental requirements – like crockery and cutlery and … well, it was a very long list so next morning Holly abandoned what was left of the unpacking and ventured out in search of a few vital items to add to the kettle and mugs she’d moved in with.
Tourists don’t tend to visit picturesque Cotswolds villages for new saucepans but, while a trip to the local retail park was on the cards in the near future, the general store at Emma’s end of the village would provide all she needed to tide her over. She mooched her way along the high street, popping in and out of shops every now and then to buy some essential and some not so essential items. She loved it that not a single business was one of a chain, something she’d been unable to get away from in London. Part of the joy was not knowing what to expect when she went through the door.
Without transport and the ability to reach and, more to the point, carry things back from outside the village, Holly decided to concentrate her efforts on the things she could do and applied herself for the rest of the day and those that followed to giving the side extension a much-needed facelift. Somewhere along the line ‘when it got too much for me to put things in the loft’ this room had become Mrs Foster’s storage room. It was immaculately clean, the whole house was, but it had a sad, neglected look.
Holly had bought paint, brushes, and stepladder prior to moving in, arranging for them to be delivered with everything else as she had recognised this as a priority. The rest of the house was a bit faded too but it had a warm, lived-in personality. There was no hurry to change anything there. Maybe without the matching roof the room felt like a poor relation. Holly hoped she’d be able to rectify that though she knew it would be expensive and certainly nowhere near the top of her to-do list.
Inside she set to with a will and that was when she discovered very quickly that the painting of walls and woodwork bears no resemblance at all to the watercolours that were her favourite medium. It wasn’t a task she enjoyed but she was pleased enough with the results. Country air and sheer hard work did their job and Holly slept like a baby those first few nights. She was keen for Emma to come round again to see the results and come round she did, the following Friday after school.
‘I like the make-up, Holly. Is this your new look?’
‘Yes, I know,’ she said, turning to the wall mirror in the hall and peering at her face, trying to pick yellow specks off with her fingernail. ‘I thought I’d managed to scrub it all away but it gets everywhere. I don’t think I got this much paint on me the whole time we were at college.’
Emma didn’t have a studio. Being a teacher, she had everything she needed at school. Holly though needed somewhere to work.
‘Let’s have a look then, Hol.’
Holly half dragged her to that part of the house where she now spent most of her waking hours, so glad at last to get hands-on in her new home, falling over her words as they went.
‘It’s nowhere near finished yet, but it’s clean and bright. And I had no idea how big that front window was. With a couple of coats of paint, well, you can see how the light just streams in and reflects off the walls – ét voila.’
Emma stood in the doorway, her mouth a perfectly formed ‘O’.
‘It’s a bit different from when you saw it last, isn’t it?’
‘It’s amazing. No wonder you’re so excited. You must have been decorating day and night. I can’t believe how much you’ve done since I was here last week.’
‘Well, I just couldn’t wait to get it finished, but I’ve discovered muscles I never even knew existed. If I hadn’t taken a day off in the middle to help out at the home I think everything would have seized up by now.’
‘I’d give my right arm for somewhere like this,’ Emma said, the envy discernible in her voice. ‘It’s an artist’s dream. You could get carried away in here.’
‘Well, Emma, for a small fee you can come and use the facilities any time you like.’
‘I can see what you mean about turning it into a retail gallery as well as a studio,’ Emma said, doing a three hundred and sixty degree
turn as she examined the space. ‘It would work really well, but you’ll need more than just passing trade if you want to make a real go of it, particularly as you’re right out on a limb here at the end of the street.’
Emma knew about Holly’s dream; knew she wanted to build a viable business around her passion.
