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“I don’t know if I can.... Mam...”
Jed nodded as if he understood.
“I’d like to come,” she was quick to add. “I’ll be sorry to see the day end.” Then she glanced away as she wondered how he might have interpreted her words.
“The day is not over,” he said softly. “Your mother seems well today.”
“Ja, ’tis true.” Sarah wanted nothing more than to stay. “I’ll check with Mam to see if she needs me.”
“Your brothers will be there,” he told her. His voice dropped. “I’d like to take you home afterward.”
Sarah’s heart started to race. Wouldn’t it be exciting to go to the singing and be driven home by Jedidiah Lapp! “I’ll check,” she said and fled back into the house to ask her mother. Her heart beat wildly as she entered the kitchen and searched for Mam. It had been a long time since she’d gone to a singing. For months now, concern for her mam had kept her home.
But Mam had done surprisingly well this day. Was it possible that her mother would be fine and that she could attend?
She caught sight of her mother seated in a chair in the Millers’ great room. “Mam.” She approached, almost afraid to ask; she didn’t want to be disappointed. “There is a singing tonight—”
“Ja!” Mary Miller said. “It will be gut for you to go.”
Sarah didn’t want to miss it, but she wouldn’t put her wishes above her mother’s needs.
“Sarah,” her mam said with a smile, “you should stay.” She frowned as if it had just occurred to her how much her youngest daughter had missed during these past months. “It’s been a long time for you.”
“It’s all right,” Sarah assured her. “I’ll come home with you and Dat, but if you are feeling well enough, I’d like to return. Ervin and Toby are going. I can ride back with them.”
“Or you could stay and one of my sons can take you home,” Mary Miller said. “I’m sure P.J. would be happy to see you home.”
“I’d be happy to bring her home,” Jed said as he stepped into the room.
Sarah felt his presence immediately. It vibrated in the room, making her fully aware of him. She watched her mother study the young man and nod. “As long as you get home safely,” Ruth directed toward her daughter. “Where is your dat?” She stood, wobbling a little on unsteady legs before righting herself.
“Daniel is outside near the barn with Pete, Arlin and Ned Troyer,” Jedidiah offered. Someone called him from outside. “Arlin,” he explained with a smile before he left to return to the men who were gathered out in the yard. Sarah felt the loss of his presence.
“And what of the twins?” her mother asked. As if exhausted, she sat down again. “Have you seen them?”
“They are outside with my two youngest.” Sally Troyer reached back to retie her apron strings. “They are getting along just fine. Perhaps your boys would like to spend the night with my Joseph and John.”
Her heart gave a little lurch. Without the twins to wreak havoc on the house, Sarah could attend the singing, leaving her mother to rest quietly with her dat nearby.
“I think Timothy and Thomas would like that,” Mam said. She focused her gaze on Sarah. “You’d like to go?”
Sarah nodded. “Ja, but I can stay home if you need me.”
“Nay,” she said, “there is no reason for you to stay. I will be fine. Now, where did you say Daniel is?” Her eyes lit up as she spied her husband out the window. “Ah, there he is!”
“I’ll tell him we are ready to go,” Sarah said with quiet joy.
Mam frowned. “I thought you’d stay.”
Sarah shook her head. “I will see you settled before I return with Ervin and Toby.”
Her mam’s expression grew soft. “You are a gut daughter.” She stood a bit wobbly but managed to right herself without help. “I will come with you to get your vadder.”
“I can bring back clean clothes for the twins,” Sarah offered as she helped her mother across the room.
“No need,” Sally assured her. “They will be fine.” She grinned, apparently pleased with the turn of events. “I’ll tell them they’ll be staying with us tonight.”
Sarah could hear her young brothers’ whoops of happiness as she and her mother joined her father outside. “Sounds like they are excited to be spending the night with the Troyers.”
Daniel grinned. “It will be a nice quiet evening for us,” he said.
Her mother’s smile was weak but genuine. “I did well today,” she declared. With help, she climbed into the buggy and sat down.
“Ja, Mam.” Sarah set a blanket about her mother’s legs. “Time to go home and rest.”
Once Mam was situated comfortably, Sarah climbed into the back and then gazed out the window as Dat pulled the buggy away from the farmhouse down the dirt lane toward the main road. She thought she’d caught a glimpse of Jed watching them as they drove away.
This evening, she would be spending more time with Jedidiah Lapp. Heart thumping, she thought of the evening ahead with barely controlled excitement.
* * *
Jed stood on the Millers’ front porch and watched as buggies and wagons arrived with young people who had come for the evening’s singing. There was still no sign of either Sarah or her brothers. Would she come or did her mother need her?
Why should I care if she stays home? It wasn’t as if he’d ever see her again. Still, the memory of her smiling face and blue eyes lingered in his thoughts. He had enjoyed his time with her family. The afternoon had passed quickly—too quickly.
He shouldn’t think of Sarah. He was too old for her. What was she? Seventeen? Eighteen? He’d thought he’d found someone he might love in Annie Zook, but he’d been wrong. If he’d hurt her, Annie hadn’t shown it. Sarah was vulnerable. She’d spent a long time caring for her mother. She hadn’t been to a singing in months. He had no right to monopolize her time, but he couldn’t help himself.
If she comes, then I’ll enjoy the evening with her and then say goodbye. She would find someone else here in Delaware to love. She would want to stay near her family, and he needed to be home in Happiness.
It was growing late and still there was no sign of any of the Masts. Jed stepped down from the porch and crossed the yard, more than mildly disappointed.
Suddenly, a buggy came barreling down the dirt drive to pull up quickly behind the line of vehicles. Jed saw Ervin and Toby jump down from the vehicle, but no sign of Sarah. He waited for the brothers to join him before entering the barn.
Just as he had given up hope of seeing her again, Jed watched Sarah climb out carefully after her brothers, balancing a plate in one hand. Ervin helped his sister, grabbing the plate from her hand. The siblings turned and spied Jed standing in the yard. Ervin waved, and Toby followed his eldest brother, while Sarah came slowly behind.
Jed felt a sudden lightening of spirit. Sarah was here, and he would get to spend more time with her, if only for a few hours.
He grinned at Sarah’s brothers, and then he waited with a soft smile as Sarah caught up to them. “Nice night for a singing,” he said, noting her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.
“Ja,” she said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had the joy.” She gestured toward the plate Ervin held out to her. “I brought cookies—chocolate chip.”
“This will be a gut night, Sarah,” he whispered as the brothers went into the barn ahead of them.
She gave a barely perceptible nod as they followed. Then, there were greetings from the others who had come. Jed noticed that his cousin P.J. seemed particularly happy to see Sarah. P.J., Pete’s eldest son, was closer in age to Sarah than he. He tried not to be upset by the fact that once he left, it could be P.J. who would eventually keep company with Sarah and perhaps win her heart.
Don’t let it bother you tonight, he thought. They had this one night together, and he planned to enjoy every single moment of it.
Chapter Four
Sarah felt gladdened by the greetings of her friends and neighbors as she entered the barn and took a seat across from Jedidiah. She was conscious of Jed’s presence as she smiled and returned Miriam Yost’s wave. She hadn’t seen Miriam in a long time. She liked the young woman. Sarah suddenly realized how much she’d missed socializing with her friends since her mother had become ill.
“Sarah,” Pete and Mary Miller’s oldest son, P.J., greeted her. “It is gut to have you with us again.”
She smiled at him. “It is nice to be here.” She sensed Jed watching her, and she flashed him a glance.
His eyes warmed as their gazes met. He smiled, and Sarah felt her breath catch. His attention was focused on her, and she felt the touch of his brown gaze as if he’d brushed her arm or captured her hand with his fingers.
But there was nothing untoward in his regard of her, she realized. The thoughts—the feelings—were all hers, and she pulled herself together, prepared to enjoy the events of the night’s singing.
To her surprise, P.J., also known as Pete Jr., began the singing with his choice of hymn from the Ausbund. He sang the first verse before everyone joined in. As Jed joined in, Sarah heard his pleasant, vibrant tone. She was pleased when he began the second hymn, the Loblied, his voice rising in praise of the Lord. She could feel his conviction, his passion for God, and Sarah knew that her thoughts of him were accurate. He was a gut man with a kind heart and true love for the Lord. She sang out happily, her voice rising with the others as they finished the hymn they had all sung that morning during church services.
After a third hymn, Miriam Yost’s brother Joseph suggested they stop for some refreshment.
“You are always wanting to eat,” his sister teased.
Joseph shrugged. “We can sing another hymn, if you’d prefer.”
“I could use one of Sarah’s cookies,” Jed said.
Sarah flushed as everyone turned to look at her. Jed’s smile put her at ease, and she sent him a silent message of thanks.
As it was, the majority decided light refreshments were in order before they continued with hymns and games.
Lydia Miller, Mary and Pete’s only daughter, had made lemonade and iced tea for all to enjoy. Sarah helped Lydia to distribute drinks, before she grabbed her plate of cookies and a platter of lemon bars that Miriam Yost had made for the occasion.
Jed, Sarah noticed, was quick to choose one of her cookies. He took a bite and flashed her an appreciative smile. Everyone had left their seat to mingle in the open area of the large barn.
Jed took another bite of the cookie. “You will let me take you home tonight, won’t you?” he asked.
“My brothers are here—”
Jed gestured toward where Ervin was deep in conversation with Elizabeth Yoder. Not far from Ervin, Toby chatted with Elizabeth’s older sister Alice. “I think Ervin and Toby have plans to take those two home. Wouldn’t you rather ride with me?”
Sarah hesitated. She knew she’d rather have Jedidiah take her home, but she didn’t know if she should go with him. Yet, how would she feel riding along with her brothers and the Yoder sisters?
“I will ride home with you,” she said quietly so that no one but Jed would hear.
Jed grinned. “Gut! I will look forward to taking you,” he said as the others began to head back to their seats.
Sarah was conscious that Jed allowed her to precede him, and as she sat down, she tried not to look at him, but she couldn’t help herself.
She found him studying her with an intensity that made her feel odd inside. She couldn’t say that she disliked the feeling. Being the focus of this kind man’s attention was not unwelcome. He leaves tomorrow, she reminded herself. I will never see him again.
Will he write? she wondered. She wasn’t going to ask him; it wouldn’t be right unless he mentioned it first.
As her friend Miriam chose and began the next hymn, Sarah decided to forget tomorrow and simply enjoy the evening...and the ride home with Jedidiah Lapp. Riding home with a young man from a singing was a rare treat, and she savored the thought of it.
The singing flew by quickly, filled with song and games, and delicious food.
Sarah went to search for her brothers afterward to tell them that Jed would be taking her home. There was an awkward moment when P.J. Miller offered to bring her home. Sarah had to tell him that she already had a ride.
“Jedidiah is taking me,” she said. She felt badly when she saw the young man’s face fall. “Maybe another time?”
His quick look of gladness made her slightly uncomfortable. She shouldn’t have said anything, but she hadn’t wanted him to feel bad.
“Jed will bring me home tonight,” she told Ervin.
Ervin didn’t seem surprised. “That’s nice, Sissy. We will be home as soon as we can.” He glanced over to where Toby and the two Yoder sisters stood. “We will be making a stop on the way.”
Sarah nodded, then teased, “Do not take the long way to the Yoder farm, Ervin Mast.”
Ervin looked stunned at first by her teasing, but then he grinned, obviously pleased. “We don’t appreciate you enough...what you do for Mam.”
“I am the daughter, and I love Mam. Emma isn’t here, so it is up to me.”
Ervin leaned closer to whisper in Sarah’s ear, “You must take time to enjoy your life, Sarah. I know your hard work is not merely a duty to you, but an expression of love. I will try to help more.”
Sarah’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know what to say.”
Ervin grinned. “There is Jed. He’s brought the wagon around, and he is waiting for you. Keep your words for your ride home.”
As she headed toward the wagon by which Jedidiah stood patiently waiting for her with his hat in his hands, Sarah thought of her brother’s words and wondered what he meant by taking the time to enjoy her life more. She prayed to the Lord and did what she could to live life the way He would want it. She couldn’t take time away from Mam, not until it was certain that she was well again.
* * *
Jed studied her expression as Sarah approached. She seemed upset. Why? He had seen her talking with his cousin P.J. Would she rather he was taking her home? His concern vanished as Sarah offered him a genuine smile as she reached him. He lifted his black felt hat, then set it back onto his head.
“Ja. I let Ervin know that I would not be riding home with him.”
“And did he mind?” he asked.
The corners of her blue eyes crinkled. “Nay. As you suspected, my brothers will not be going directly home. They have plans that include stopping by the Yoder farm.”
“And so you are stuck with me.”
“Nay, I am not stuck, Jedidiah Lapp.”
Her answer delighted him, and he studied her fondly. “Gut,” he said as his spirits rose with the prospect of spending a little more time with her. He would like the memory of the evening to take home to Happiness with him. He would like to see her farm, to picture her out in the yard or in the farmhouse, going about her chores, caring for the twins and her family.
He held out his hand, and Sarah looked at it a moment before their fingers touched as she accepted his help onto the wagon seat.
The night was a typical late-spring evening. The temperature was cool, but not cold. There was a full moon, which lit up the dark sky and shed a beam of brightness onto the yard. Jed felt sorry to release her hand as he climbed up onto the wagon seat beside her.
“All set?” he asked, and she nodded. “Are you cold?” She shook her head. “Are you going to be silent during the entire ride?”
“Nay,” she said with what sounded like horror.
He laughed. “I am teasing you, Sarah Mast.” Then with a click of his tongue and a flick of the leathers, he steered the horse down the long dirt lane and then turned right onto the main road. He glanced at Sarah and saw her look back as if seeking her brothers. “They will linger awhile before they leave,” he said.
