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He was shaking his head again. “My job.”
“Why is it your job?” she asked, smiling down at him.
“Because I found her.”
She straightened and drew back, her smile gone. She sighed. “That is not how this works.”
“Lori? Does this mean that we’re talking again?”
He waited while she blew away a breath and then crossed her arms protectively before her, the shields coming up again.
“Maybe. But it’s hard, Jake. When I see you, I remember...”
“Our daughter.”
She dropped her chin and nodded.
“Yes, and everything else.”
Jake opened his arms and gathered her up as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. She kept her arms crossed but let him hold her, rub her back. He hadn’t held her since they’d lost their own baby, and that had not gone well. The time before that had been in his truck. She’d said yes, yes to everything. And that was her fault as much as his.
Lori drew back first, of course, and he let her go. It seemed that was all he ever did.
“I’d like to be able to talk to you, Lori. And not just about what happened.”
Her eyes were cautious. She had reason to be suspicious, but not as much reason as he had to be suspicious of her.
“Talk, huh?” She gave him a look that cut through the bull. He wanted many things, but talk wasn’t exactly one of them.
She changed the subject, dismissing him and the topic.
“Your captain said you were on patrol last night, that you covered the traffic fatality and who knows what else. So, bed. Now.”
He stroked a strand of her hair that had escaped the tight knot. Instead of drawing back, she let him cup her head in his hand. He met her gaze, letting her know what he intended and giving her time to step away.
It was a bad idea, but he was still going for it. No stopping himself, just like the last time they were alone. But he was older now. His control was better.
Liar. She still stripped away all control. There was no containing the fire that burned within him for this woman. His brain shrieked a warning as he pulled her in tight.
Her eyes widened as she sucked in air through flaring nostrils. The small gesture made his chest constrict. He flexed his arm, bringing her in closer. Her fingers slipped into the opening of his uniform at the collar, nails raking his chest. His blood surged and he took the kiss, his mouth hungry. Her arms threaded around his neck as he deepened the kiss, tasting the sweetness of her mouth. She was like a drug for him. The habit he thought to break, and all the while it had lingered inside him, waiting for a chance to have her again. If she had learned anything, she should be running for the door because they were alone again, and there was a bed right beside them.
He turned her in his arms and brought her to the mattress. She stiffened and broke the kiss. He lifted to his elbows to give her a questioning look. She gaped at him and then shoved away, slipping from his grasp. He sat on the bed while she stood panting beside him. He’d dragged the forked comb from the tight bun and let her hair fall. Then he raked his fingers through the strands until her hair fell about her shoulders in soft waves.
“Jake, you can’t do that.”
But he just had. His mouth quirked.
“That so?”
“Yes, that is so, Jake Redhorse. You might be the golden boy to everyone else, but you and I know better. Don’t we?” She reclaimed her hair fastener.
That stung. He drummed his fingers on his thigh.
“I said I’d marry you, didn’t I?”
She gave a sharp, audible exhale and folded her arms over her chest. “My hero,” she said, her tone mocking. Then she spun on her heels and marched out of the room.
He had half a mind to follow her.
Jake flopped back onto the bed. And what was that “my hero” gibe about? She’d gone with him, let him do what he liked. They’d both been there, both been stupid kids. It wasn’t his fault. At least not all his fault. His mistake had been thinking he could control himself with Lori. He’d even had the damn condom in his pocket. But that wasn’t how a condom worked, was it?
He hadn’t used protection and she had never asked about it. Thinking a Mott girl would use protection was like expecting a cow to wear pajamas. That was what his brother Ty had said. Kee had said it was an unfortunate but predictable occurrence given family history. The whole thing still made him burn deep inside, shame and hurt and desire all firing at once. But he would admit that whatever appeal Lori had for him had only grown stronger with time.
What was it about Lori Mott that drew him like a lamb to slaughter?
“No,” he promised to the empty room and settled down in the bed alone. The pillow smelled like Lori. He breathed deep and then growled, rolling to his side, ignoring the stirring of his body for her.
Not again.
Chapter Four (#u5f0a71c4-4a64-547a-adba-51d50d785266)
Lori stomped away to the nurses’ station. She was so mad she could spit nickels. She plunged into work, muttering to herself. Officer Redhorse was no white knight. She knew it even if no one else did. But somehow he always came out of every situation smelling like a rose. It burned her up inside.
Did he actually believe what everyone had said about her? He’d been there, for heaven’s sake. He knew exactly how it had played out. But in the days and weeks after the miscarriage, Jake had disappeared. Bolted like a branded calf. She’d learned from her older sister Rosa that Jake had been congratulated on his escape.
And she’d just kissed him again. She must be out of her mind. Lori gave Fortune a bottle of formula and brought baby Leniix to her mother for feeding. She spoke to Betty Mills briefly about the new arrival. When she finally felt herself again, she returned to give Jake a piece of her mind and found him puffing softly in slumber. Lori permitted herself the pleasure of looking at the handsome boy who had grown into an even more handsome man. You just couldn’t tell from the outside what lay inside. Sometimes you learned that only when it was too late. When her throat began to ache, she crept out.
She was in the women’s health clinic with Dr. Redhorse all morning and was called to the urgent-care unit twice when they became swamped. Midmorning, Lori noticed Jake’s mother at the clinic, accompanied by her new husband, Duffy Rope. May Redhorse Rope never liked Lori after what had happened and had been strongly in favor of letting the baby go to adoption within the tribe so her precious son would not have to be encumbered by a marriage to the likes of her. When Jake had announced that he planned to marry Lori, May would not speak to her, but she made sure Lori heard what she thought. May’s words were engraved in Lori’s memory like letters on a tombstone.
He shouldn’t have to spend a lifetime tied to a girl like that because of one simple mistake.
Lori and May made eye contact, and May glowered. Lori went to fetch Dr. Kee Redhorse. She didn’t need any extra rancor this morning.
She later learned that May had a new ulcer on her foot above her big toe amputation and needed special wound care twice a week. Kee had made an appointment in Darabee with a specialist. Lori did not like Jake’s mother, but she would not wish her troubles on anyone.
Dr. Kee left for lunch and Lori ordered in, then returned to the computer to code entries while she waited. They didn’t have a proper cafeteria, but they had a break room and a standing arrangement with the diner across the street to have food delivered when needed.
Her order arrived with a familiar deliveryman. Bullis had left the grill to hand-deliver her meal. He’d been after her for months for a date, but she had put him off. He owned the diner and was a nice guy. But he just didn’t make her tingle all over—like Officer Redhorse. More was the pity. Nathan was the better choice because he gave her something Jake never had—respect.
“Extra sandwich,” said Nathan, lifting a bag. “Roast beef with mustard, lettuce, tomato, with potato salad and a bag of chips. Plus one sixteen-ounce iced tea.” He glanced around. “This for Nina? She usually drinks diet.”
“No. A, er, visitor. Jake Redhorse. Sleeping in there.”
Nathan frowned. “Why?”
News would get out anyway. It always did. “He found a baby in his truck.”
“A baby? No way. Can I see it?”
She held her smile and handed over a twenty. “Family only, I’m afraid.”
Nathan expertly made change. “Just found it, huh?”
“Yes. She’s doing well.”
“Ain’t that something.” He just stood there staring at her, and she felt sure he was going to ask her out yet again.
“Well.” She glanced at her computer. “Better get back to work.”
Nathan nodded and finally left, looking back only once this time.
Lori resisted the urge to check on Jake, but instead sent Nina to pop her head in. She returned a few minutes later with her report. “Still sleeping. Still cute. I left him a pitcher of ice water by his bed.”
Lori sighed as she returned to seeing patients and finished up the afternoon paperwork. The women’s health clinic closed at two o’clock on weekdays. The urgent-care unit stayed open until four from Monday to Saturday. After that, the tribe knew to wait until morning or call the volunteer fire department, now relocating until Piñon Forks was safe again. This week was unusual for them, too, because they’d be moving lock, stock and barrel to Turquoise Ridge tomorrow.
Baby Leniix and her mother had been discharged, leaving only baby Fortune, as Lori was now thinking of her. Lori and Nina packed boxes until nearly six.
“I’m going to wake up Officer Redhorse and see about getting him home,” said Lori.
“Okay,” said Nina, casting her a smile that showed much pink gum above her teeth before she returned to the computer and the records.
Lori retrieved the bag lunch and carried it to the room where Jake rested.
The golden September sunlight stretched across Jake’s bare arm and chest. At some point he’d removed his vest and his shirt now flapped open, giving her an eyeful of his heavily muscled torso. Her breath caught and she worried her lip as she considered turning tail.
Instead, she stepped closer.
You can do this, she thought. He’s just a man. Like every other man. But he wasn’t. He was the one man who short-circuited all her wiring, and he did it while asleep. That irritated her, but not enough to tamp down the unrest. She clenched the fist of her free hand to keep herself from stroking down the centerline of his body.
She stared at him, her body as tense as his was relaxed. It was safe now, since he was asleep.
But it wasn’t. Not really. Lori stretched her fingers and reached, unable to stop herself. She only just managed to redirect her touch to his forearm. His muscles twitched as her fingertips registered warm skin and the texture of the dark hair. His eyes flashed open as he reached with his opposite hand to his hip where his gun usually sat.
“It’s me,” she said and stepped away, clutching the bag before her.
The tension left his body. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbing his closed lids with his fingertips before forcing his eyes open again.
“Sorry. You startled me.”
He pushed himself to a sitting position, and her gaze slipped to his abdomen and the ribbed muscle there. She swallowed down the gnawing hunger.
“Everything all right?” he asked.
“Yes.” She forced her gaze upward to his face. Thankfully, he was looking toward the hallway.
“Who’s with Fortune?”
“Nina.”
He nodded and scrubbed his hands over his face.
His shirt flapped opened, giving her an unimpeded look at flexing chest muscles as he stretched. Her throat went dry and her eyes widened. He was making her sweat and he’d barely looked at her.
He noticed the water and poured a plastic cup full. She watched in silence as his Adam’s apple bobbed with each long swallow. Her stomach fluttered and she closed her gaping mouth.
She resisted the urge to step closer. Oh, no, you don’t, she told herself.
He wiped his wet lips with the back of his hand and then met her gaze. Did he see the raw desire there?
Jake’s mouth quirked. “What time is it?”
She glanced at her watch. “A little after six.”
His brows lifted. “Really? Seven solid hours. Can’t believe it.”
No one had gotten much sleep since the dam collapse. Everyone at the clinic was working long hours. They’d stayed open around the clock for the first three days to treat all the injuries resulting from the explosion and evacuation.
His gaze dipped and her skin flushed as his eyes roamed over her body and then settled on the bag she had forgotten she held.
“Do I smell food?” he asked.
She nodded and dropped the bag onto the mobile table. In a moment she had the table wheeled in place beside the bed, automatically adjusting the level to suit him. He ignored the food and instead stared at her.
She didn’t know what to do with her hands. Should she leave him to eat or stay? Lori glanced toward the corridor with longing.
Despite how it had ended, Jake had been kind to her after he got over the shock. He’d also stood by her and defended her from his mother, who’d opposed the marriage so vehemently. Her mother had been for it, delighted, in fact. But things had changed after she’d lost their baby. The distance between them had yawned as they drifted further and further apart. Lori laced her hands across her flat stomach, feeling a hollow ache that reached all the way to her heart.
“Any word from Bear Den?” asked Jake.
Lori shook her head. “No one from the force has been here all day.”
Silence stretched as the tension between them crackled like ice cubes meeting water. Jake pushed away the table that separated them and rose to his feet. Lori’s brain signaled danger, but the message never reached her motor centers because she remained frozen in place. Jake lifted a hand and gently cradled her elbow.
There was a knock, and Lori glanced up to see Dr. Kee Redhorse standing in the door with his perpetual generous grin and warm brown eyes. He’d been in the clinic much of the afternoon.
“So Sleeping Beauty is finally awake,” said Kee. “Doesn’t seem to have improved your looks any.”
He strode in and gave his brother’s shoulder a firm pat.
“Anything happen while I was out?” asked Jake.
“Had a few more injuries related to cleanup. Seeing those every day since the explosion. Today it was Lawrence Kesselman.”
Lori had helped close the gash on Mr. Kesselman’s leg. The man had been gaunt, with deep circles under his eyes. Lori knew the reason. His daughter, Maggie, had run away last Sunday.
“And our mom was in,” said Kee. “She’s got another sore on her foot.”
The men shared a silent exchange that Lori read as worry. May was still able to walk, but if the ulcer did not heal, her condition could change.
