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His eyes darkened. “What is it?”
“Would you be okay with me spending time with Ruby alone? I’d love to show her around my studio, take her to the library, that sort of thing.”
He bowed his head. “I’m not sure.”
“I don’t know if I can agree if it’s going to be the three of us all the time. It’s a bit intimate given our history.”
He blew out a breath. “I understand. Really, I do. I’m thinking about Ruby. I know you’d be good for her, and frankly, I’d prefer she spend time alone with you. But she’s going through a lot. What do you think, Pastor?”
He’d prefer not to be around her, either? Why the words hurt, she didn’t know. It’s not as if the past ten years hadn’t proven the fact.
“I think you should follow your instincts, Nash.” The pastor addressed Amy. “Ruby is afraid of strangers. It will take time for her to get used to you. She might need Nash with her until she’s comfortable.”
Amy swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know the pastor had a point, but she was already going out on a limb by agreeing to this. Couldn’t they cut her a break?
“I guess we could do a trial run,” she said. “Say, a few afternoons next week and see how it goes? If we aren’t feeling it, we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Works for me,” Nash said gruffly.
Pastor Moore stood. “I’m here if either of you need to talk or have additional concerns. Feel free to call. Why don’t I let you two work out the details of next week?” He left the room, and the air felt charged as soon as he was gone.
With no idea what to say, she fixed her gaze on the map of ancient Israel hanging on the wall. Nash remained silent, as well.
“How weird is this for you?” Amy finally asked him.
“Really weird.” His throat worked.
“Gives me a new appreciation for what divorced parents must go through. Coming up with a visitation schedule, figuring out drop-offs and all that.”
“Except we were never divorced,” he said. “Or married.”
The words hurt, she couldn’t deny it, but Nash seemed unsure of himself, and Amy had never seen this side of him. He’d always been quick with a joke and oh, so confident.
He massaged the back of his neck. “Sorry... Thank you for agreeing to help Ruby. I know you don’t want details, but what I did back then was unforgivable. I at least want you to know I hated leaving you.”
Then why did you?
She didn’t want to know.
“It was a long time ago.” She waved the apology off like a pesky fly. “Which days work best for you?”
Storm clouds brewed in his eyes, but he accepted the change in subject. “Any you have free. I have nothing going on.”
“So you really retired?”
“I did.”
She wanted to ask what he planned to do next, but she stopped herself. She didn’t need personal information from him. She’d stick to business—to Ruby. Which reminded her...a few things had been niggling in her mind.
“Does Ruby know you aren’t her father?”
“Yes. I explained I’m her much bigger brother. It took several supervised visits at her foster home before she’d even speak to me.”
“But she calls you Daddy.”
He shrugged, a smile briefly lighting his face. “When I told her she was going to live with me, I asked her what she wanted to call me. She said, ‘How long am I going to live with you?’ I told her forever. She replied, ‘Daddy.’ I tell you, my heart melted into a puddle right there on the linoleum floor of the courthouse.”
Amy’s heart was growing squishy, too, and that wouldn’t do. Remember the days after he left? How you sat by the phone hoping he’d call? And don’t forget how awful it was to read about him winning the event in Houston. Going on with his life as if you’d never meant a thing to him.
“Yes, well, that’s good.” She reached into her purse for her planner. Opening it, she scanned the next week’s schedule. “Why don’t we do Tuesday and Thursday, say, three o’clock? You can bring her to my apartment. It’s above Amy’s Quilt Shop. Just go around the back and up the stairs. I have a studio I think she’ll enjoy.”
All the brightly colored fabrics, the work tables, sewing machines and art supplies were sure to please the girl. She’d plan a few simple crafts for them to do.
“You don’t have to work at three?” He frowned.
“No, I hired a high school girl to work afternoons.”
“Tuesday and Thursday then. Listen, Ruby is shy around...well, everyone. She might have a hard time being in a strange place without me.”
“You could go to The Beanery after you drop her off. If she gets upset, we’ll join you and get a hot cocoa or something.”
“That might work.” His face cleared, and his shoulders relaxed. “Does this mean you’ll make a final decision next week?”
“Do you really want me to spend time with Ruby? Or do you feel cornered into it?”
“I want Ruby to trust other people. I mean, she’ll be going to school soon, and I don’t want her scared of her teachers. Would it be easier on me if someone else was her mentor? Yeah. But I’m grateful you’re willing to try. She needs more than I alone can give her.”
So having a different mentor would be easier on him, huh? She bit back a nasty retort. The insecurity in his eyes pacified her irritation. Her decision wasn’t about Nash anyway. It was about trusting God even when the circumstances didn’t make sense. She’d always wondered if she would step up and take care of an enemy if put into the position of being a Good Samaritan.
She’d regret it if she didn’t at least try to help Ruby.
“Then, yes, let’s see how the visits go, and I’ll give you a firm answer next week.”
* * *
“Wade’s delivering my horses soon.” Nash sat in a white rocking chair on his front porch Tuesday afternoon. Clint Romine, one of his best friends, sat next to him in an identical chair. Ruby was picking pasqueflowers from the yard. He still had a little time before he had to take her to Amy’s place. He had no idea how their meeting would go, but he feared the worst. Those early visits with her at the foster home had been terrible. But maybe Ruby was in a better mental place now. He hoped so.
“How long has it been since you’ve ridden Crank?”
“Four months. I’m itching to saddle up. Could ride for days, I think, and I’d still feel as restless as a mountain lion.”
“You’ve been traveling the circuit since we graduated high school. Of course you’re restless.” Clint lived outside of Sweet Dreams with his pretty new bride, Lexi, who happened to be Amy’s best friend. Another complication Nash didn’t know how to handle. Would his move back to Sweet Dreams be awkward for Clint and Lexi, given how he’d treated Amy years ago? He’d worry about it another day.
Nash sighed. “I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”
Clint stared ahead, slowly rocking. How could he sit there so calmly? Nash was about to bust out of his rocker. He didn’t care if the decorator claimed the chairs cozied up the porch; they made him feel like a grandpa. A sprint up the drive would go a long way to helping him let off some steam. But the sad truth was he couldn’t sprint if he tried. His body had been so beaten up and battered that he had trouble even jogging.
“Thinking about ranching?” Clint asked.
“No.”
“Breeding horses? Wade could help with that.”
“Maybe.” He stood and paced the porch, his movements choppy. “I’ve been thinking about something different. I’m not sure it would work.”
“What’s that?”
He stopped at the column nearest Clint and leaned against the railing. “I might open a training facility. For young bull riders.”
Clint considered it a moment. “I could see it.”
“But I don’t have the experience to teach kids.”
“What are you talking about?” Clint laughed. “You have more experience in your pinky finger than anyone I know.”
“Yeah, but that’s riding bulls. Not teaching kids to ride them.”
“You’d be great. What would you need?”
“Steers. Bulls. A practice arena. Chutes. Equipment. Insurance—a lot of insurance.”
“There you go.”
“But knowing what I’ve been through, do I want to encourage kids to follow in my footsteps? You know the injuries I’ve sustained. And I was fortunate.”
“It’s a dilemma, that’s for sure. I guess you’ll have to pray on it.”
Last year, Clint’s response about praying on it would have annoyed Nash. But after he’d had a string of bad rides and broken his ankle and ribs for the umpteenth time, he’d spent a few months at Wade’s secluded ranch—a thirty-minute drive from Sweet Dreams—and gotten right with his Maker. He prayed about everything now.
“Will you pray about it, too, brother?” Nash asked.
“Of course.” Clint rose, nodding toward Ruby. “How’s she doing?”
“Better than I expected. When I first met her, she was so skinny her bones pushed against her skin. She was terrified. Skittish.” He shivered thinking about her back then. “I’m really sorry I missed your wedding, man. I never would have—”
“Don’t say a word, Nash.” Clint shook his head. “I understand. I would have been furious if you’d have come to the wedding when you found out about Ruby. She needed you.”
Ruby approached, eyeing Clint with distrust and avoiding him. She thrust a bouquet of purple blooms in Nash’s hands.
“For me? Well, RuRu, these are the purdiest flowers I’ve ever seen. Thank you kindly.” He winked at her. “And don’t worry about Clint here. He’s one of my best buds. We lived together when we were teens. You’ll meet my other friends, Wade and Marshall, soon enough.”
Ruby hid behind his leg. He knew her well enough to assume her gaze was fixed on Clint.
“I’ve got to be going.” Clint tipped his Stetson to Ruby. “Good to meet you. Maybe your dad will bring you out to the ranch sometime. We have lots of horses and cows and dogs. You like dogs?”
No answer. Thankfully, Clint didn’t seem to need one.
“Thanks for coming.” Nash clapped him on the back. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“Bye.” Clint waved and ambled to his truck.
“Well, what do you say we get these in some water before we head over to Miss Amy’s?” Her eyes had questions—a lot of questions—but he couldn’t read her mind. “What’s wrong? You’re worried about something. I can tell.”
He opened the door for her, and they went to the kitchen, putting the flowers in a mason jar with water.
“You a little scared of her?” He boosted her to sit on the counter.
“No.”
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
“How long do I have to stay?”
He smiled at her lisp whenever she said her s’s.
“You don’t have to stay at all. But if you want to, you’ll be there for one hour. And I’ll be three stores down, slurping coffee. You and Amy can join me if you want, but I’d like for you to give her place a try without me first.”
She gulped, her eyes wide and fearful. “One hour? How much is that?”
He almost laughed. He’d forgotten that little kids didn’t have a strong sense of time. He pointed to his watch. “When this small hand goes all the way around once, an hour has passed. Maybe you need a watch of your own. We can order one for you. But right now, we’ve got to skedaddle if we want to be on time.”
He picked her up, grabbed his keys and carried her to the garage. After strapping her into her car seat, he backed out and drove toward town. Despite the assurances he’d given Ruby, he had a bad feeling about this visit. Ruby already seemed fearful. What if she made a scene at Amy’s? If she did, he wouldn’t be able to leave her there, and then Amy would back out.
If Ruby was upset about staying with Amy, he wouldn’t force the issue. The kid had been through enough. He just hoped his uneasiness didn’t mean his fears were about to come true.
Chapter Three (#ueafac9b2-a7a5-57e5-8095-d507bcc8face)
Amy hummed as she fluffed the throw pillows on her couch. Ruby would be here any minute. She rushed to the other side of the open living space where she kept her private sewing and art studio. If she wasn’t cutting material, quilting or making patterns for her weekly blog, she was drawing designs for her own fabric line. Well, hopefully, her own fabric line. She should be hearing back from the fabric manufacturers within a few weeks. How many years had she dreamed of stocking the designs she’d drawn? She shook her head. None of that mattered right now. Her sole goal today was to make Ruby comfortable.
A knock on the door made her pause. Lord, please give me the wisdom to help her. She’d show Nash his fears about leaving Ruby were off base. She’d been around young children her entire life. She knew what little girls enjoyed. It would just take a while for Ruby to get used to her. No big deal.
She opened the door. Nash held Ruby in his arms. Oh, my. He looked every bit the cowboy she remembered in his hat, jeans, jacket and boots.
“Come in. I’m so glad to see you again, Ruby. Let me take your sweatshirt.” She waited while Nash helped Ruby out of her pink hoodie. “I’ll show you around my place.”
After hanging the hoodie on a hook near the door, Amy veered left to the open studio. She stopped next to the floor-to-ceiling shelves, which held fabrics in a rainbow of colors. In the center of the space, Ruby clutched Nash’s hand.
“You did all this?” Nash let out a low whistle. “Everything is so organized. You actually make all those quilts you sell?”
“Most of them. I consign a few local artists’ quilts, too.” She shouldn’t be so pleased at his reaction. He seemed to fill the room with his charismatic energy. He used to draw her like iron to a magnet. She gestured to the rack holding her latest creation. “I’m trying a new pattern.”
He and Ruby inspected the rust, cream and navy design. “Patriotic. I like it. Reminds me of the Fourth of July.”
“I’m hoping to finish it in June. Red, white and blue quilts always sell well in the summer.”
“Speaking of this time of year...” He looked down at Ruby. “Pretty soon you and I will be watching rodeos on Friday nights. Sounds fun, huh?”
Her eyes gleamed almost aqua as she nodded up at him. The sight touched Amy.
