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“Will do. Au revoir.”
Jade pressed End on her phone and set it on the counter. She didn’t want to save the world. She just wanted to design some shirts. Was that so wrong?
Mom meant well. Truly, she did. And she had a point about helping society. Did the world need another gift shop? Probably not. But designing T-shirts all through college had been fun. More fulfilling than advertising. An entry-level job in marketing sounded awful, even if it was in Paris. And Mom and Gerald lived five hours away. Five hours or fifteen hours wouldn’t make a difference. Jade would be on her own in Paris or Lake Endwell.
Alone and lonely.
The past two months without Mimi clawed at Jade’s chest. She grabbed a framed photo of them off the floor and carried it into the living room. Using her sleeve, she swiped the dust off an end table, placing the picture on top.
Mimi, you would tell me to go to the park today. You’d encourage me to open the store. You’d tell me I’m brave. I won’t let you down.
She glanced at the clock. She had just enough time to meet Bryan.
Chapter Three (#ulink_939e67b0-376a-5929-94e2-7e3d9895268c)
“You made it.” Bryan waited for Jade as she approached the pavilion. Part of him had hoped she wouldn’t show up today. But the other part, the irrational side, had been searching the parking lot for her cherry-red compact car.
“I made it.” Jade’s pale face and jerky movements said it all.
If the forest was too much for her, Bryan could at least say he tried to help. He’d move forward with his class guilt-free. And if she did make it into the woods? She’d be one more student to add to his spreadsheet along with the hours and skills he taught each week. He’d typed and printed fliers after church this morning, and Dad and Aunt Sally promised to help distribute them to local businesses tomorrow. Next Saturday would be different. He’d have a full class. With or without Jade.
“I did some research about overcoming fears.” Bryan gestured for her to join him. She trembled beneath her puffy black vest. She’d pulled her hair back in some sort of braid. Black jeans and a pair of lace-up hiking boots completed her outfit. She looked cute. And terrified. “Have you heard of exposure therapy?”
“Yes. I’ve heard of it. One therapist wanted me to try flooding.”
“Then you’ve been through therapy? I read about flooding. Total immersion, right? That’s kind of extreme.” He pushed up the sleeves of his fleece pullover. The websites he’d skimmed last night had given him ideas how to help her, but he didn’t want to push her or accidentally make things worse. He wasn’t used to offering advice unless it had to do with an automobile. “I figured you were basically trying the exposure method by coming to my class, so you might try some gradual things I read about on a few websites.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “Sure. I’ve read them, too. Step one, look at pictures of trees. Step two, watch a video of the forest. Step three, come to Evergreen Park.”
“See,” he said, smiling. “You’re already a quarter-way through the list.”
“Remind me again, what’s step four?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I didn’t memorize them, and I forgot the printout at home. But if you want, we’ll go to the blue path.”
She blinked rapidly, and he heard her breathing quicken.
He straightened his arms, palms out. “We’re not walking on the path. Just standing at the entrance.”
Her fingertips fluttered to her throat. “Okay.”
They strolled along the grass. The weather was still cool, and the air hinted at rain later.
“Sorry my sister barged into dinner last night. My family can come on kind of strong.”
“I like Libby,” she said softly. “She’s welcoming. And Jake seems nice.”
“Yeah, he is. He’s good for Libby. Keeps her grounded. She’s good for him, too.” Bryan glanced at her. “Are you doing okay?”
“So far.” She moved stiffly. “How many times have you taught Outdoor Survival 101?”
“None. This is my first time.”
“Really? You’re good at it. You’re patient. And knowledgeable.”
The compliment filled him, made him stand taller. Helping Jade might be beneficial to both of them. His conversation skills could use a boost. Talking about facts and figures was easy. Random chatter was beyond him.
“Tell me more about your store,” he said. “It looked empty last night.”
“It is empty. I ordered a printing machine and an engraver. I’m still researching what furniture I want to use to display everything. The rooms need a coat of paint, too. I’m excited to get started.”
“How did you get into T-shirt designing?” Bryan enjoyed the way her face brightened when she discussed the store.
“I got a part-time job at a novelty shop right after I graduated from high school. I loved working there. My boss taught me everything—all the secrets to making quality designs. It’s the only thing I’m truly good at.”
“I know the feeling. I’m good at running my car dealerships, but this—” he stretched his arm out “—I’m best outdoors.”
“I can tell.” She smiled up at him, and he gulped. He’d known he was lighting matches over dry tinder when he’d invited her today. Her easy manner and open smile made him want to offer things he shouldn’t. Last night, Libby’s crack about God’s plan had hit a nerve. The more he’d thought about it, the more he was convinced helping Jade was God’s plan. At least for today.
He pressed forward. “Almost there.”
* * *
“I don’t like this.” Jade studied the path entrance, then closed her eyes. Impressions from twenty years ago flooded her. Clutching Charlie, her stuffed puppy. Being surrounded by trees, trying to keep up with the boys, but they ran too fast, their laughter fading. Branches and leaves had scratched at her cheeks, her hair, her clothes. Which way to turn? Where was the path?
She opened her eyes again. A wide paved lane stood before her, and a light gust of wind lifted the end of her braid.
This fear was too big. She needed more than an outdoor guide. She needed shock therapy or something.
Attitude, Jade.
Mimi would say nothing was too big for God. Until Jade turned twelve, she’d prayed every night for the Lord to cure her, but the panic remained, so she figured God’s answer was no, and she’d stopped praying about it.
“Let’s stay here a minute.” Bryan’s tall, athletic presence reassured her.
“We skipped about five steps on the therapy list.”
“You’re doing good.” His fleece-covered arm brushed her sleeve.
She physically restrained herself from clinging to him and begging him to take her away from this place. Why couldn’t she be normal? All the pep talks she’d given herself over the past weeks had been pointless. Anxiety ruled her outdoor life.
He touched her hand. “Jade?”
“Oh! What? Sorry, didn’t hear you.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Oh, you didn’t.” She shook her spinning head. The ground wasn’t as firm beneath her new boots as it had been near the pavilion. The opening of the path was close. Too close. Nausea threatened.
“Maybe this is a mistake,” Bryan said. “You don’t look so great.”
She willed her lungs to accept more air than the shallow breaths they currently allowed. “Gee, thanks.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He looked up at the sky.
She didn’t need to gaze upward to see a drop cloth of gray. If the sun would come out, maybe the scene in front of her wouldn’t appear as sinister. Actually, the view didn’t match the one in her mind. The blue path cut through scattered trees, not a thick forest like in Germany, and mallards quacked overhead. Happy sounds.
“My grandfather took me here all the time when I was younger. I know every inch of these woods. You’ll never get lost with me by your side.”
She didn’t doubt him. He exuded confidence out here. Maybe if she tethered herself to him, she could take a few steps in there without breaking out in a terrified sweat.
“I miss Granddad.” Bryan crouched and picked up an acorn. “Wish I could hike with him one more time.”
“I understand.” She fought the urge to close her eyes again. “I wish I could have coffee with Mimi again. Sounds as if you and your grandfather were close.”
“We were. Mom died when I was eight. Granddad and I spent a lot of time together after her death. Dad had his hands full with the babies—Sam and Libby. My other sister, Claire, was still little, but I’m pretty sure she considered the young ones hers, so she helped Dad. My older brother, Tommy, came with Granddad and me to hike and fish, but after a couple of years it was just the two of us.”
“Why didn’t Tommy go anymore?”
Bryan grinned. “He discovered sports.”
“You’re not into sports?”
“I played some, but I liked being outside with Granddad better.”
She relaxed a fraction and squinted, attempting to see the trees in a different light.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but did something happen to frighten you?”
“You could say that.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of her vest. “It was a long time ago.”
He edged closer. His tall, solid frame comforted her for some reason. Made her want to lean in, rely on him to protect her out here.
Not smart. He’d leave her. Everyone else did.
“How long ago?” Bryan flicked the acorn into a bush.
“Oh, I was little.” Did she want to talk about this? Mimi had tried to help, but every time they neared a wooded area, Jade had grown hysterical. Eventually Mimi stopped trying and told her there were some things best left to God.
“How little?” Bryan asked. “Toddler or teenager?”
“In between. I was seven.” A nervous laugh escaped, and her shoulders tensed until they reached her ears. All alone in Germany. Mom was at work. The neighbor boys had gotten a kick out of playing a prank on her, leaving her alone, wandering. Sweat broke out on her forehead. “It’s not something I talk about.”
Understanding flashed in his eyes. “Fair enough.” He motioned for her to follow him to a park bench several feet away.
Jade perched on it, facing what looked like a Christmas tree. She loved Christmas. Not all trees were bad.
Bryan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I had nightmares after my mom died.”
She knew all about nightmares, too. “Yeah, I have bad dreams—well, one bad dream. About the forest.”
“Is it night or day?”
“Night.”
“Would it be as bad if it were daytime?” he asked.
“I think so.”
“Why?”
“It’s so dark, it doesn’t matter if it’s night or day. I’m alone. There’s no path. Everything closes in, the leaves and branches grab me.”
His serious expression assured her he didn’t think she was silly, or if he did, he was good at hiding it.
“What are you trying to do in the dream?”
“Escape. I want out of there.”
“But there’s no way out.”
“Exactly.”
“Do you run?”
“Eventually.” The branches always tore at her face and hands, and she’d fall to her knees, sobbing in terror as orange and yellow eyes multiplied. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “Tell me what’s so great about this place.”
Bryan took the change in subject in stride. “Spring brings Lake Endwell back to life. Next week you’ll see wildflowers popping up. Squirrels say hello when you wind through the path. Inhale and you smell it all—the earth, air, pollen—and it’s good.”
“I think I’d rather light a candle in the safety of my home.”
“Give it a chance. Beats any candle. The weather will warm up soon, and you’ll really have fun. Swimming, fishing, bonfires. This area is all about the outdoors.” He brushed something from her shoulder. She hoped it wasn’t a bug. “What did you feel when we stood in front of the path?”
What did she feel?
Overwhelmed, claustrophobic. Scared.
Several birds flew past, and in the distance she heard birds calling.
“Never mind. Your face says it all.” He stood, holding his hand out to help her up. “Will you let me take you somewhere else? Don’t worry, it’s basically a lawn with a lone tree here and there. Most of the trees are way off in the distance.”
She put her hand in his—strong, comforting—and rose. “Where is it?”
“City Park. I want to show you the lake. It’s the least-threatening place I can think of around here. It might give you a different impression of the area.”
“City Park? It still exists?” A delicious buzz spread through her chest. “Tell me it’s the same one that was here fifty years ago.”
He shot her a quizzical look. “Yeah, why?”
