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“You were there, Gavril. You saw their Selection.” I swallowed, still unsure. “Does it really work? How?”
He shrugged. “Yours is the third I’ve seen, and I can’t tell you how it works, how a lottery can bring in a soul mate. Let me say this: Your grandfather was not exactly a man I admired, but he treated his queen as if she was the most important person to walk the planet. Where he was harsh with others, he was generous with her. She got the best of him, which is more than I can say for … Well, he found the right woman.”
I squinted, curious about what he was omitting. I knew Grandpa had been a strict ruler, but come to think of it, that was the only way I knew him. Dad didn’t talk about him much as a husband or father, and I’d always been much more interested in hearing about Grandma.
“And your dad? I don’t think he had a clue what he was looking for. Honestly, I don’t think your mother did either. But she was his match in every way. Everyone around them could see it long before they did.”
“Really?” I asked. “They didn’t know?”
He made a face. “Truthfully, it was more that she didn’t know.” He gave me a pointed look. “A family trait, it seems.”
“Gavril, you’re one of the few people I can confess this to. It’s not that I don’t know what I’m looking for. It’s that I wasn’t ready to look.”
“Ah. I wondered.”
“But now I’m here.”
“And on your own, I’m afraid. If you choose to go through with this—and after yesterday, no one would blame you if you didn’t—only you can make such an important choice.”
I nodded. “I know. Which is why this is so scary.”
“Ten seconds,” the floor director called.
Gavril patted my shoulder. “I’m here in whatever way I can be, Your Highness.”
“Thank you.”
I squared my shoulders in front of the camera, trying to look calm as the light began glowing red.
“Good morning, people of Illéa. I, Princess Eadlyn Schreave, am here to address some recent events that have taken place in the royal family. I shall deliver the good news first.” I tried to smile, really I did, but all I could think of was how abandoned I felt.
“My beloved brother, Prince Ahren Schreave, has married Princess Camille de Sauveterre of France. Though the timing of their wedding was a bit of a surprise, it in no way lessens our joy for the happy couple. I hope you will join me in wishing them both the happiest of marriages.”
I paused. You can do this, Eadlyn.
“In sadder news, last night, my mother, America Schreave, queen of Illéa, suffered a very serious heart attack.”
I paused. The words felt like they had created a dam in my throat, making it harder and harder to speak.
“She is in critical condition and is under constant medical supervision. Please pr—”
I brought my hand to my mouth. I was going to cry. I was going to lose it on national television, and on top of everything Ahren had said about how people felt about me, appearing weak was the last thing I wanted.
I looked down. Mom needed me. Dad needed me. Maybe, in a small way, even the country needed me. I couldn’t disappoint them. Dabbing away the tears, I went on.
“Please pray for her speedy recovery, as we all adore her and still depend on her guidance.”
I breathed. It was the only way to get from any moment to the next. Breathe in, breathe out.
“My mother held such great respect for the Selection, which, as you all know, led to my parents’ long and happy marriage. As such, I’ve decided to honor what I know would be her deepest wish and continue with my own Selection.
“Due to the stress placed on our household in the last twenty-four hours, I think it wise to cut my suitors down to the Elite. My father narrowed his field to six instead of ten because of extenuating circumstances, and I have done the same. The following six gentlemen have been invited to stay on in the Selection: Sir Gunner Croft, Sir Kile Woodwork, Sir Ean Cabel, Sir Hale Garner, Sir Fox Wesley, and Sir Henri Jaakoppi.”
These names were a strangely comforting thing, like I knew how proud they were of this moment and I could feel the glow of it, even from a distance.
It was almost done. They knew Ahren was gone, that my mother might die, and that the Selection would carry on. Now came the news I was terrified to deliver. Thanks to Ahren, I understood exactly what my people thought of me. What kind of response would I receive?
“With my mother in such a delicate state, my father, King Maxon Schreave, has chosen to remain by her side.” Here goes. “As such, he has named me regent until he feels fit to reclaim his title. I will make all decisions of state until further notice. It is with a heavy heart that I assume this role, but it gives me great joy to bring any peace to my parents.
“We will have more updates on all these matters as they become available. Thank you for your time, and good day.”
The cameras stopped rolling, and I moved just off the stage, sitting in one of the chairs that were usually reserved for my family. I felt queasy and would have sat there for hours trying to regain my composure if I thought I could get away with it, but there was too much to do. The first thing on the list was to check on Mom and Dad again, then off to work. At some point today I would have to meet with the Elite as well.
As I went to exit the studio, I stopped short because my path was blocked by a row of gentlemen. The first face I saw was Hale’s. His expression lit up as he held out a flower. “For you.”
I looked down the line and saw they all had flowers in their hands, some with roots still noticeably attached. All I could assume was that they had heard their names on the announcement, rushed from the Men’s Parlor to the garden, and come down here.
“You idiots,” I sighed. “Thank you.”
I took Hale’s flower and hugged him. “I know I said something every day,” he whispered, “but let me know if you need me to up it to two, okay?”
I held him a little tighter. “Thanks.”
Ean was next, and though we’d only ever touched during those staged photos of our date, I found myself unable to refrain from embracing him.
“I get the feeling you were coerced into this,” I murmured.
“I took mine from a vase in the hallway. Don’t tell the staff on me.”
I patted his back, and he did the same to me.
“She’ll be okay,” he promised. “You all will.”
Kile had pricked his finger on a thorn and held his bleeding hand awkwardly away from my clothes as we hugged, which made me laugh and was perfect.
“For smiles,” Henri said as I added his flower to my messy bouquet.
“Good, good,” I replied, and he laughed at me.
Even Erik had gotten me a flower. I smirked a bit as I took it.
“This is a dandelion,” I told him.
He shrugged. “I know. Some see a weed; some see a flower. Perspective.”
I wrapped my arms around him, and I could feel him looking at the others as I held him, seeming uncomfortable to be getting the same treatment as they had.
Gunner swallowed, not able to say much, but held me gently before I moved on.
Fox had three flowers in his hand. “I couldn’t pick.”
I smiled. “They’re all beautiful. Thanks.”
Fox’s embrace was tight, like he needed the support more than the others did. I held on to him as I looked back at my Elite.
No, this whole process made no sense, but I could see how it happened, how your heart could get swept up in the endeavor. And that was my hope now: that somehow duty and love would overlap, and I’d find myself happy in the middle of it all.
(#ulink_9b6d8a5e-16a1-566a-ac74-b71099f529c9)
MOM’S HANDS FELT SO SOFT, almost papery in a way. The feeling made me think of how water smoothed out the edges of a stone. I smiled, thinking she must have been a very rough stone once upon a time.
“Did you ever used to get it wrong?” I asked. “Say the wrong words, do the wrong things?”
I waited for an answer, receiving nothing but the hum of equipment and the beat of the monitor.
“Well, you and Dad used to fight, so you must have been wrong sometimes.”
I held her hand tighter, trying to warm it in mine.
“I made all the announcements. Now everyone knows about Ahren getting married and that you’re a little … indisposed at the moment. I cut the boys down to six. I know that’s a big cut, but Dad said it was okay and that he did that when it was his turn, so no one can get upset.” I sighed. “Regardless, I have a feeling people will still find a way to get upset with me.”
I blinked back tears, worried she’d sense how scared I was. The doctors believed that the shock of Ahren’s departure was the catalyst for her current condition, though I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d contributed to her stress daily, like drops of poison so small someone didn’t realize they’d ingested something dangerous until it had overtaken them.
“Anyway, I’m off to run my first advisory board meeting as soon as Dad gets back. He says it shouldn’t be too difficult. Honestly, I feel like General Leger had the toughest job of anyone today, trying to get Dad to go eat, because he fought so hard to stay here with you. The general was insistent, though, and Dad finally caved. I’m glad he’s here. General Leger, I mean. It’s kind of like having a backup parent.”
I held her hand a little tighter and leaned in, whispering. “Please don’t make me need a backup parent, though, okay? I still need you. The boys still need you. And Dad … he looks like he might fall apart if you leave. So when it’s time to wake up, you’ve gotta come back, all right?”
I waited for her mouth to twitch or her fingers to move, anything to show that she could hear me. Nothing.
Just then Dad tore through the door with General Leger on his heels. I wiped at my cheeks, hoping no one would notice.
“See,” General Leger said. “She’s stable. The doctors would come running if anything changed.”
“All the same, I prefer to be here,” Dad said firmly.
“Dad, you were hardly gone ten minutes. Did you even eat?”
“I ate. Tell her, Aspen.”
General Leger sighed. “We’ll call it eating.”
Dad shot him a look that would have been threatening to some but only made the general smile. “I’ll see if I can sneak some food in so you won’t have to leave.”
Dad nodded. “Look out for my girl.”
“Of course.” General Leger winked at me, and I stood up and followed him from the room, looking back at Mom just to check.
Still asleep.
In the hallway, he held out an arm for me. “You ready, my not-quite queen?”
I took it and smiled. “No. Let’s go.”
As we made our way to the boardroom, I nearly asked General Leger if he would take me for another lap around the floor. The day felt so overwhelming already that I wasn’t sure I could do this.
Nonsense, I told myself. You’ve sat in on these meetings dozens of times. You’ve almost always thought the same things Dad has said. Yes, this is your first time leading it, but this was always waiting for you. And no one is going to be hard on you today, for goodness’ sake; your mother just had a heart attack.
I pulled the door open with purpose, General Leger trailing behind me. I made sure to nod at the gentlemen as I passed. Sir Andrews, Sir Coddly, Mr. Rasmus, and a handful of other men I’d known for years sat arranging their pens and paper. Lady Brice looked proud as she watched me sweep around to my father’s spot, as did the general when he settled into the place beside her.
“Good morning.” I took my seat at the head of the table, gazing down at the thin folder in front of me. Thank goodness the agenda looked light today.
“How is your mother?” Lady Brice asked solemnly.
I should have written this answer on a sign so I could stop repeating it. “She’s asleep still. I’m not sure how serious her condition is at the moment, but Dad is staying by her side, and we’ll be sure to update everyone if there’s any change.”
Lady Brice smiled sadly. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. She always was a tough one.”
I tried to hide my surprise, but I didn’t realize Lady Brice knew my mother that well. In truth, I didn’t know that much about Lady Brice myself, but her tone was so sincere, I was happy to have her beside me at the moment.
I nodded. “Let’s get through this so I can tell her my first day on the job was at least slightly productive.”
There were gentle chuckles around the room at that, but my smile quickly faded as I read the first page presented to me.
“I hope this is a joke,” I said dryly.
“No, Your Highness.”
I turned my eyes to Sir Coddly.
“We feel this was a deliberate move to debilitate Illéa, and seeing as neither the king nor queen gave their consent, France has essentially stolen your brother. This marriage is treasonous, so we have no choice but to go to war.”
“Sir, I assure you, this was not treasonous. Camille is a sensible girl.” I rolled my eyes, hating to admit it. “It’s Ahren who’s the romantic one, and I feel certain he urged her into this, not the other way around.”
I balled up the declaration of war, unwilling to consider it for another moment.
“My lady, you cannot do that,” Sir Andrew insisted. “The relations between Illéa and France have been tense for years.”
“That is more on a personal level than a political one,” Lady Brice offered.
Sir Coddly waved his hand in the air. “Which makes this all much worse. Queen Daphne is brandishing more emotional suffering on the royal family under the assumption that we will not respond. This time we must. Tell her, general!”
Lady Brice shook her head in frustration as General Leger spoke. “All I will say, Your Highness, is that we can have troops in the sky and on the ground within twenty-four hours if you command it. Though I certainly wouldn’t advise you to make that command.”
Andrews huffed. “Leger, tell her the dangers she’s facing.”
He shrugged. “I see no danger here. Her brother got married.”
“If anything,” I questioned, “shouldn’t a wedding bring our two countries closer? Isn’t that why princesses were married off for years?”
