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As they were driving from Thunder Point to North Bend he said, “You’re bringing me out of the closet,” he teased, obviously incredibly pleased.
“I try to keep my professional life and my personal life separate,” she said.
“You’re letting the guys know you have a boyfriend,” he said, laughter in his voice.
“How do you know I don’t just need a designated driver?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you planned to get wasted,” he said. “You’ve been really stressed out over this inspection. Maybe now you can relax a little bit.”
But it was not the inspection, Sarah thought. The inspection was a lot of work, but her team was outstanding and she never worried for a second—she knew they’d come out smelling like roses. It was that other matter—facing a potential reassignment in the near future and having no idea which way to turn.
Note to self, she thought, I need a better cover! I can’t let it show! Not until I’m ready to talk about it and I can’t talk about it until I know what the hell to do!
When she told Buzz she was bringing a date, she emphasized, “No one knows about your little HR bombshell so don’t breathe a word at the party.”
“Since I swore you to secrecy, no one better know,” he said.
“I mean, not even Cooper. Especially not Cooper. So don’t take him out by the keg for a private little chat.”
And then Buzz had lifted his blond eyebrows and said, “You know, when stuff like this came up, even if it’s secret stuff, if it affects the family, I would always talk to my wife,” he said.
And she said, “And now? Twice divorced? Who do you talk to now?”
“Okay,” he said. “Got me there. I wouldn’t talk to a girlfriend. If I had one.”
“Exactly,” she had said.
And to Cooper she said, “Listen, do me a favor. Don’t mention to anyone at this party that I’ve been stressed out. I wouldn’t want them to think I’m anything but cool and calm. When women get command positions and act like nervous girls, it really plays hell on the leadership role. Got that?”
He just grinned at her.
“I’m not going to get wasted and you better not, either.”
He grinned bigger.
“If they start to get a little nuts or start doing shots, walk away,” she ordered.
“And if I don’t?” he teased.
She reached across the cab of his truck and squeezed his thigh. “If you ever want to have sex again, you’ll behave.”
He laughed and said, “Now you’re speaking my language. And boy, am I glad you’ve got this inspection behind you!”
I need another kind of inspection, she thought. Something to keep his mind off my mood.
Most things about the party were entirely predictable—like the fact that everyone was loose and happy and got the biggest kick out of Sarah bringing a man, as if she were a nun or the resident lesbian. The fact that he was a helicopter pilot really charged them up and there were lots of questions about his civilian jobs. Cooper had worked for private contractors who provided the military with services from flying Blackhawks in foreign countries, to years working for oil companies in the Gulf of Mexico. There were many toasts to the XO and CO for the winning performance in the inspection and before long there were toasts for just about anything—for taking a breath, for standing after a couple of hours of steady drinking. And when the captain and XO left the party, they got louder and started doing shots.
Cooper was having a good time and, as ordered, did not do shots. But Sarah got pulled into the fray and threw back at least a couple, and she didn’t miss the twinkle in Cooper’s highly entertained eyes. She received many slaps on the back, many high fives, and it was confirmed that she was a lot more fun when she had a boyfriend. But when her face became flushed, Cooper said, “Okay, missy, that should do it for you. Let’s take off.”
“Please,” she said. “Oh, please...”
“I don’t need a bucket for the truck, do I?”
“Don’t be silly,” she said, eyes at half mast. “I can hold my liquor!”
“Oh, you’re doing great,” Cooper said. “It’s ten o’clock.” Sarah wasn’t sure they had cleared the parking lot before she was asleep. She had vague memories of being half carried, half dragged into the house.
In what seemed like three seconds later she groaned and muttered, “Turn off the light.”
“I don’t have enough cosmic power to turn off the light,” Cooper replied. “It’s morning.”
She sat up as though a cattle prod had assisted her. The second she was upright, she groaned and grabbed her head. Slowly, very slowly, she opened one eye and looked at him. He was lying beside her on her bed in his jeans and stocking feet. “What are you doing here?”
He put his hands behind his head. “Well, by the time I put you to bed, let out the dog and filled his water dish, Landon still wasn’t home. So—I turned on the TV, laid back down and fell asleep.”
She gingerly lifted the covers. She was wearing her shirt and panties. “Great,” she said. “My brother knows you undressed me.”
“More important than that, he knows you were toasted. By the way, you sure talk a lot in your sleep when you’re drunk.”
“I wasn’t drunk, I was just...” He was smiling at her. “Okay, I was drunk. Remind me that tequila shots on top of beer is not recommended. Why did you stay the night?”
“I was tired,” he said. “Believe me, Landon knows there was no nookie. Are you going to live?”
“It’s questionable.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “Little hair of the dog?” he asked.
“Don’t talk like that. It could get messy.”
“You’re a lightweight, Dupre.” He sat up. “I should get out to the bar before Rawley shows up and reports me missing. You coming out later?”
“Maybe after I get a new head.”
* * *
Cooper suspected Sarah had gone back to sleep. It was nearly noon by the time she showed up with Ham—they’d walked across the beach. And she looked both rested and recovered. “I was afraid to call you. Afraid you might be sleeping it off.”
Right at that moment, her cell chirped. “Landon has felt no such restraint,” she said. “He made as much noise as possible getting ready for school and he thinks it’s extremely funny that I’m hungover.” Then into the phone she said, “What?”
A few moments later Cooper said, “That can’t be the first time he’s seen you a little tiddly.”
“Cooper, I was not tiddly. I was wasted. And yes, that probably was the first time he’s seen that. You’re right, I’m a lightweight.”
“And he’s punishing you with phone calls?”
“He’s between classes, calling from the men’s room—I heard flushing. They’re not supposed to make calls during school hours. So, he wants to go over to Eve’s house. And I’ll be more than happy if he does.”
“Sounds fine to me. Jeez, I have to get a better system around here. I’d buy Rawley a cell phone, but he probably wouldn’t use it.”
“What’s the matter with Rawley?”
“He doesn’t talk to me unless he has to. He didn’t show up today. He pretty much makes his own hours, which is fine. Everything we have to do gets done. But if he’s not coming at all, he should let me know. That way when he doesn’t let me know, like today, I know he’s all right.”
“Do you think he’s not all right?” she asked.
“No telling. I’ve been thinking about driving over to Elmore to check on him, but there’s no one to watch the store.”
“Cooper, I’ll keep an eye on things. How long could it take?”
He shrugged. “Almost a half hour each way, then seeing if he’s around. He takes care of his father, who is an invalid. When Rawley works, a neighbor lady who’s a nurse’s aid in a nursing home looks in on him. If I can’t find Rawley anywhere, I’ll need to call hospitals or something. Rawley is strange, but he’s pretty reliable.”
“Then just go. Will you make me dinner for me tonight?”
“Sure,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss. “I’d rather lock the doors and take you upstairs for a while. You were less than romantic last night.” He kissed her again. “But I should make sure Rawley is okay. I don’t know how old he is, but older than dirt, I suspect.”
“Just go. Ease your mind. Then if there aren’t a lot of people around later, we can make out awhile.”
“Can we make out naked?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “What if my brother popped in for some reason?”
“Your brother. You know, I like Landon, but is it too late to put him up for adoption? We could get visitation a couple of days a week....”
“And the rest of the week?”
He nuzzled her neck. “I think you know....”
“Go,” she said. “I’ll check out the freezer and decide what I want for dinner.”
* * *
Cooper found Rawley’s red truck in the driveway at his house, indicating he was at home, but there was a for sale sign in the back window of the truck. Maybe he’d decided to work on restoring Ben’s old truck and drive it at the same time. When Cooper found all the stuff in Ben’s old storage shed—truck, Razor, tools, etc.—he’d given Ben’s truck to Rawley and invited him to use any tools he needed to work on it. He gave the Razor to Sarah and Landon since he had a Rhino for himself.
Cooper parked on the street, walked up the brick steps and knocked on the door. He knocked again before Rawley opened the door. Rawley was wearing a white dress shirt with his jeans—a new look for him. There was no bandana tied around his head, either. And his hair—extremely thin on top and usually long—had been trimmed.
“What’s up, Rawley?” Cooper asked. And Rawley just held open the door so Cooper could step inside. “You’re selling the truck?” he asked as he entered. And then he saw the empty wheelchair sitting in front of the fireplace. “Rawley...”
“He passed real quiet,” Rawley said. “In his sleep. I found him this morning.”
“Aw, Rawley. I’m sorry, man. You should have called me.”
Rawley just shook his head. “I knew what to do.”
Cooper reached out and put a strong hand on his shoulder. “I could’ve helped.”
“You got a business to run.”
“I also have commitments to friends,” he said. “I would’ve put the big thermos on the porch, some doughnuts on a plate under the glass so the birds wouldn’t get in ’em. There’s just the two of us out there on the beach. There’s gonna be times we have to be somewhere else.”
Rawley, so unexpressive, looked surprised by that. “Just figured I’d get ’er done.”
“You’re selling the truck?”
He shrugged. “My dad, he had himself a plot, paid for, but that’s about it. It’s either sell the house or the truck.”
“To pay for the funeral?”
“Won’t be no funeral, there’s just us. But he needs a box.”
Cooper stood uncertainly for a moment. “Could we sit down in the kitchen and have a cup of coffee?”
Without answering, Rawley turned and headed toward the kitchen. Once there he brought a fresh cup out of the cupboard and filled it for Cooper. Then he filled his own cup. Then, to Cooper’s surprise, he put cream and sugar on the table, along with a spoon. And he sat down.
Cooper didn’t really know where to begin. “Mac said you’ve been hanging around the bait shop for a few years now.”
Rawley nodded.
“Where did you work before that, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Odd jobs. Here and there.”
“And lived here with your dad?”
He shook his head. “I just got reconnected with my dad four years ago. Ben forced that issue,” he said, naming their late friend.
“Where were you living before that?” Cooper asked.
“Here and there.” Cooper decided to wait him out. He sipped his coffee, excellent coffee, and just didn’t speak for a couple of the longest minutes of his life. “I didn’t get on with people so much after the war,” Rawley said. “It wasn’t like now—folks didn’t celebrate Vietnam soldiers too much. Made a person want to disappear. That, and bombs going off while you sleep—makes a man just want to be alone.”
PTSD issues, Mac had said. “Understandable,” Cooper said.
“I stopped by to see my dad sometimes. Just for a day or so, every few years or so, but not for long. I had burdens. You know.”
“I know,” Cooper said. And he thought, there are so many of us. Men without strong attachments who just wander. Cooper didn’t have PTSD issues that he was aware of, but he still felt like a loner often enough. And, like Rawley, after leaving the service he hadn’t gone home to his family. He’d kept moving.
“My dad used to fish off Ben’s dock,” Rawley said. “He’d have a shot of Wild Turkey sometimes before heading home. Ben found me. I hung out with a couple of vets around Eureka, not too far from the VA. Sometimes if we needed something, like food or money to eat, the VA was as good a place as any. Used clothes, too. Then Ben said my dad was doing poorly. He hadn’t been fishing in so long, Ben checked on him and my dad couldn’t get himself upstairs to go to bed most nights so he slept in the chair. Ben said my dad needed help. He said he’d give me a part-time job if it could be worked out.”
“So you came home to help your dad,” Cooper said.
“It’s different coming home because you’re needed than coming home because you’re needy,” Rawley said.
Cooper lifted his coffee cup to his lips. “Exactly right,” he agreed.
They drank their coffee in silence for a while.
“So, you have a house here,” Cooper said. “Place to live and a job. I guess that means you’ll be staying.”
“It’s almost habit now,” Rawley said.
