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The baby, of course, didn’t answer, and the nausea kept on pitching and rolling her stomach, neither caring that the calendar said Emily was just past three months pregnant. Her clothes still fit, if a little snugly, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before she would start to show.
And that would mean telling people about the baby. People like Cole.
Emily sighed. She loved her husband—she really did—but she had stopped being in love with him a long time ago. She’d tried, Lord knew she’d tried, to make it work, thinking maybe if she kept acting like a wife, she’d feel like one. But the relationship they had had when they’d first got married had drained away, like a hose with a pinhole. The loss had come so gradually that one day she’d woken up and realized it was over, in her heart, in her head, and continuing the facade would only hurt both of them. Six months ago, she’d asked Cole to move out, and he’d gone, without a fight.
Then Cole had come to her one night, telling her he’d do anything to have his wife back. He’d been so sincere, so racked with sorrow, she’d believed him, and found the old passion ignited. One crazy night, a night where she’d believed yes, he finally got it, and maybe they could make it work—
And in the morning he was gone, off on yet another business trip. She was left alone again. She’d had a good cry, called a lawyer and filed for a formal separation.
Two weeks later, she’d realized her period was late and that one night had resulted in the only thing Emily had ever wanted—and Cole never had.
A child.
She’d kept the pregnancy a secret, and kept her distance from Cole, resolving to do this on her own. Now she had a baby on the way into her life and a husband on his way out. Either way, Emily was determined to make her new existence work.
She pulled on some sweatpants and an old T-shirt, then headed out of her room and downstairs toward the kitchen. A little dry toast should take the edge off this nausea, and then she could go back to work on the book.
Emily was just reaching for the loaf of bread on the counter when she heard a tap-tap-tapping coming from outside the window. She leaned over the sink, and peeked out into the bright late-fall day.
Cole stood on a ladder, perched against the side of the building, hammering in a new piece of siding. He’d switched from dress clothes to a crisp new pair of jeans and a dark blue T-shirt that hugged the planes of his chest. Sunglasses obscured his blue eyes, and a leather tool belt hung at a sexy angle from his hips. For a second, her heart melted.
“He was here when I woke up this morning,” Carol said as she entered the kitchen.
Emily turned around and put her back to the window. What did Cole think he was doing? Did he think that fixing the inn’s porch would fix them, too? “Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m just glad for the help. Anything he can fix helps me in selling this place.”
Emily sighed. “It’s going to be so weird not to have this place here anymore. The Gingerbread Inn is such a big part of my childhood.”
Carol paused by the coffeepot. “Do you want a cup?”
“Uh, no. I’ll have tea instead.” Emily grabbed the kettle off the stove, filled it with water, then set it over the flame. Outside, Cole had stopped hammering. Emily resisted the urge to look outside and see what he was doing now. Maybe if she ignored him, he’d leave. Either way, he rarely stayed away from the office for more than a few hours, so whatever “fixing” he was doing would be done soon and Cole would go back to being his usual Type A, nose-to-the-grindstone self. She’d be on her own, just her and the baby, which was exactly what she wanted, she told herself. Her hand strayed to her stomach, a protective barrier.
Emily looked up and noticed Carol watching her. “What?”
“Tea, huh?”
Emily fished an herbal tea bag out of the glass mason jar next to the stove and held it up. “Yup.”
“Decaf, too. In the morning.” Carol cupped her hands around her mug of coffee and assessed Emily. “Anything you want to share?”
“Nope, nope.” She’d said that too fast, Emily realized. But she wasn’t ready to tell anyone about the baby yet. She thumbed toward her room. “I should get back to writing. I’m on a roll.”
If she stayed in this kitchen one more minute, she was sure Carol would read the truth in her face. The kettle whistled and Emily turned to pour the water. She heard a sound behind her and pivoted back.
Cole stood in the kitchen, watching her. In jeans and a T-shirt, he looked so much like the man she’d fallen in love with that Emily’s heart stuttered, and she had to remind herself to breathe. Cole still had the same lean physique as he’d had in college, and her mind flashed images of every muscle, every plane. Her hormones kept overriding her common sense.
Carol murmured some excuse about needing to start laundry and headed out of the room. Emily shifted her gaze away from Cole and down to her teacup. She dipped the bag up and down, up and down, avoiding Cole’s blue eyes. “What are you doing here?” she asked him.
“Helping Carol out.”
“I can see that.” She let out a frustrated gust. “Why?”
“She’s obviously in a tight spot right now and—”
“Cole, stop making up excuses for being here. I’ve been married to you for ten years, and you have never so much as hung a picture in all that time. So don’t tell me you got this sudden urge to become Homer Handyman.”
“Homer Handyman?” She could hear the smile in his voice, as he crossed the room and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’m not making up excuses, Emily. I saw Carol needed help, and I wanted to do what I could. I haven’t worked with my hands since college, and I have to admit, it feels good.”
“Then go home and build a box or something. Don’t stay here.”
Cole paused in front of her and waited until she lifted her gaze to his. “Home isn’t home for me anymore.”
She refused to feel bad about that. Refused to let the echoes in his voice affect her. Their marriage had disintegrated, and Cole knew that as well as she did. “Why are you really here, Cole?”
His blue eyes softened, and for a moment, she saw the Cole she used to know. The Cole she had fallen in love with on a bright spring day on the NYU campus. “Because this place means a lot to you,” he said quietly.
The cold wall between her heart and his began to defrost, and Emily found herself starting to reach for Cole, for the man she used to know, used to love. Then his cell phone rang, the familiar trill that signaled a call from the company’s CFO, and Cole stepped back, unclipping the phone with one hand and putting up a finger asking her to wait a minute with the other.
Emily shook her head, then grabbed her tea and walked out of the kitchen before she was once again foolish enough to believe that anything had changed.
* * *
Chaos had descended on the offices of Watson Technology Development, if the number of calls, texts and emails Cole had received in the past hour were any indication. He’d been gone less than forty-eight hours and people were in a panic.
Rightly so, he supposed, considering he spent more hours at WTD than anywhere else in the world. Ever since the day he’d started it, Cole had dedicated most of his waking hours to the company that bore his name. In the beginning, the hours had been a necessity, as he worked his way up from a one-man office to a global company with offices in three U.S. cities and two foreign locations, building computers, cell phones and custom technology solutions for his customers.
It took him a good hour to calm down his assistant, and to wade through all the crises that needed his attention. The urge to run back to the office and handle everything himself ran strong in Cole, but every time he glanced at the pile of wood and tools, he remembered that he was here for another reason.
Not to fix the Gingerbread Inn—though that was the reason he’d given Emily—but to fix his marriage. Deep in his heart, Cole knew he had run out of chances, and if he let Emily go this time, what they had between them would die like a plant stuck in a dark corner for too long. That was partly his fault, he knew, and the only way to fix it was to stay here. Put in the time, handle the project of his marriage like he did any project at work—lots of man-hours.
When he hung up with the office, he flipped out his phone and made a quick list of everything that the Gingerbread Inn needed done to make it sellable. By the time he got to number fifty, he knew he needed two things—a couple of professionals, because some of the jobs were out of his realm—and a second set of hands.
Another half hour on the phone and he had a plumber, electrician and a roofer lined up to come out and give him estimates. The last call he made was to the one man he knew who would drop everything at a moment’s notice and travel anywhere in the world, just because a friend asked him to.
“Joe,” Cole said when the call connected. “How would you like to vacation in Massachusetts for the holidays?”
Joe laughed. “Did I just hear the great and busy Oz say the word vacation?”
“It won’t be a long one, but yes, I’m taking some time off. I’m working on a project here and could use an extra set of hands.” Cole explained about the inn and its owner’s financial struggles. “Plus, Em’s here.”
“She is? How’s that going?”
“Not so well. I’m just trying—” he sighed, pressed a finger to his temple “—to give us one more chance. I’m hoping that she sees my being here as being committed to her, to us.”
“I always thought you two were going to live a long and happy life together,” Joe said.
“Yeah, me too.” Cole sighed again.
His friend thought for a second. “Give me a couple days to tie up the loose ends I have here, and then I’ll join you. It’ll be good to catch up. How long has it been?”
“Too long,” Cole said. “Far too long.”
He hung up with Joe, then put his phone away and surveyed the work ahead of him. There was plenty to do, for sure. His gaze wandered to the second-floor bedroom where Emily was staying. The room was only twenty feet or so away, but it might as well have been on the moon.
Earlier, in the kitchen, there’d been a moment, a split second, really, where he’d thought maybe he could see a bridge back to them. Somehow, he needed to build more of those moments. One on top of another, and the bridge would connect them again. He hoped.
He headed back into the house and found Emily in the kitchen, opening a package of saltines. She’d changed into a pair of jeans and a fitted T-shirt. The clothes outlined her hourglass shape, the narrow valley of her waist, the tight curve of her rear end, and sent a roar of desire through him. Damn, he’d missed her. In a hundred different ways.
“Hey, Emily,” he said.
She turned around, a saltine in her hand. “Cole.”
There was no emotion in that syllable, nothing that he could read and pinpoint as a clue to how she felt about him. He cleared his throat, took a step closer.
“I was thinking of taking a break for lunch,” he said. “Would you like to go into town with me? I need to get some supplies, too.”
“Sorry, no. I’m, uh, working on something.”
“Working on something? What?”
“Something personal,” she said, and turned toward the cabinet to get a glass.
The door had shut between them, and she had no intentions of opening it—that much was clear. Cole should cut his losses, go back to New York and bury himself in work. Accept the divorce and move on, like she had.
Then why did he stay in the kitchen like a lovelorn teenager? He grabbed a glass of water that he didn’t want, hoping Emily would talk to him. Instead, she gathered her crackers and her drink and headed for the hall. “Em?”
She turned back. “Yeah?”
“Is there any chance?”
The question hung in the sunny kitchen for a long moment. Emily’s green eyes met his, and for a second, hope leaped in his chest. She shook her head and lowered her gaze. “No, Cole, there isn’t.”
Then she brushed by him and out of the room, leaving Cole more alone than he could ever remember feeling.
CHAPTER FOUR
TWO FRIENDLY, HAPPY emails greeted Emily when she got back to her room. Andrea and Casey, both thrilled to hear from her and chock-full of their own news. Casey, the more dramatic of the three, was full of boisterous stories about her life, while Andrea talked about working at her family shop during tough economic times. They were both surprised to hear the inn was up for sale, and both said they’d try to make it out there before the holidays. “I’d love to give the place one more goodbye,” Casey wrote, “and give you a great big hug, too. It’ll be great to see you all and maybe raise a toast to Melissa. We’ll stand out on the dock and give her a proper goodbye.”
Emily wrote back, telling them that sounded like a fabulous idea, and encouraging her friends to arrive as soon as possible. Her hands hovered over the keyboard while she debated how much to tell them. “Things are going great with me,” she said finally, lying through her fingers. “Can’t wait to see you!” She left it on a bright, cheery note, even adding a smiley face. Then she hit Send, and tried to work on her book again.
The words wouldn’t come. After eating the saltines, her nausea had passed, and her stomach rumbled, reminding her it was lunchtime. A lunch she could have enjoyed with Cole, if she’d taken him up on his offer.
Doing so would only tempt her all over again, and the last thing she needed was to be tempted by Cole. She placed a hand on her belly and splayed her fingers against the tiny life deep inside her. “We’ll be okay, Sweet Pea. I promise.”
Carol poked her head into Emily’s room. “I made a salad for lunch. Want some?” Carol noted Emily’s hesitation, and added, “Cole left. Said he had to go to town.”
“Lunch sounds good. I was just starting to get hungry.” Emily shut the laptop’s lid, then followed Carol to the kitchen. Harper lay on the small rug in front of the back door, snarfling and twitching, probably chasing a rabbit in her doggy dreams.
Carol laid two heaping plates of spinach, strawberry and feta salad on the table. Sprinkles of roasted pecans and a raspberry vinaigrette finished off the tasty lunch. “So,” Carol said when she sat across from Emily, “when are you due?”
“When...what?” Heat rushed to Emily’s cheeks. “What are you talking about?”
“Honey, I may not be able to know how to save this place, but I know when a woman is expecting. The tea, the nausea, the saltines. Plus you just have that look about you.”
“What look?”
“That excited-slash-terrified look.” Carol grinned. “My sister had three kids, and she looked like that every time.”
Emily picked at the salad. “May 17.”
Carol’s face exploded in a smile, and she jerked out of the chair to gather Emily in a tight, warm hug. “I’m so happy for you, honey.”
“Thank you,” Emily said, and for the first time, the joy of what was coming began to infuse her. Sharing the news made it real, somehow, and that allowed her to imagine the future with the child she had always wanted.
A child Cole hadn’t wanted.
But that didn’t matter. She and Cole were over, even if he had yet to fully get the message. She was going to have this baby alone and be just fine. She’d wanted a baby almost from the day they got married. Cole had kept telling her they should wait. For what, she wasn’t even sure now. All she knew was that he found one excuse after another not to have a child.
Finally, Emily was building the family she’d dreamed of. Granted, a family without a father, but Emily had no doubt she’d more than make up for Cole’s absence.
“Cole must be over the moon about the baby,” Carol said.
Emily shook her head. “He doesn’t know. And I’m not telling him,” she added before Carol said anything. “We’ve been separated for some time now, and after I get back to New York, I think...no, I know, I’m going to file for divorce.”
“What? But then...why is he here?”
“Because Cole is the kind of man who never loses. Even when the battle isn’t his to win.” She shrugged, and cursed the tears that rushed to her eyes. “Our marriage has been over for a long time, but he won’t accept that.”
Carol’s hand covered Emily’s. “I don’t know about over, if you have that little gift growing inside you right now.”
“That night was a mistake.” Emily shook her head. “One I won’t repeat. My marriage is over, Carol. I’m just looking ahead to the future with just me and the baby.”
The doorbell sounded a happy little trill. “We can talk later,” Carol said. “Let me get the door. You stay, finish your salad. And don’t worry, I won’t say anything to Cole.”
Emily smiled up at her old friend. “Thank you.”
A minute later, Carol was back with a tall, trim, white-haired man beside her. “I’m not quite sure what all we need done around here,” she said as she walked into the room. “My home repair skills are pretty limited.”
“Seems to me like you need a little of everything.” The man’s gaze swept the kitchen, taking in the water stains on the ceiling, the dripping faucet, the worn countertops. “The house has good bones, though, and that’s what matters. You’ve got a great place here, miss.”
A shy smile curved across Carol’s face. “Oh, I’m far from a miss these days.”
The man gave her a grin that crinkled the corners of his pale blue eyes. “I disagree.”
Carol let out a little laugh. “Well, thank you, Martin.”
They were flirting, Emily realized. Something she had never seen Carol do before. Carol tore her gaze away from the man and waved toward Emily. “This is Emily, an old friend and one of the regular visitors to the Gingerbread Inn,” she said. “Emily, this is Martin Johnson. Cole hired him to do some work around here.”
