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“Yes...he’s a handsome horse,” he agreed. “I don’t reckon the picture you saw will have done him justice. Anyway, I’m off to turn her out. Cass will be waiting for you.”
“Of course... I’d better hurry,” Maddie cried, glancing at her phone.
After she returned from dropping Robbie off at school, Maddie settled into her daily tasks, enjoying the routine. It gave her confidence to feel that she was actually useful here at Sky View. That had been her worst fear—that she’d find she didn’t have enough strength or coordination to do what was required of her. Deep down, she worried that Cass knew more about the extent of her injuries than Maddie had let on and was giving her an easy workload. No, that wasn’t possible, she realized as she began setting the table for lunch; there was no way anyone here could know how badly hurt she had really been.
“By the way,” Cass said, looking up from the stove. “You’ll need to set an extra place. Bob Nelson, who owns the sire of Carlotta’s foal, is stopping by. We have another filly that we might put to one of his stallions, and we wanted him to take a look at her.”
“Grand Design’s owner.” Maddie stifled a gasp. The past she’d tried so hard to put behind her sprang into her consciousness.
Cass nodded. “That’s right... You have a good memory.”
When Bob Nelson came into the kitchen half an hour later, chatting to Jake about his horses, Maddie half expected to recognize him and had a minor panic attack about him recognizing her. To her relief, the small, white-haired man was not familiar, and she heaved a sigh. She was there when Dennis’s new owner had come to collect him, but she’d been way too upset to take much notice of anything other than the big bay stallion. Maybe poor Dennis had changed hands yet again, and Bob Nelson was his new owner.
When Jake and Cass insisted she join them for lunch, Maddie was happy to sit down and listen to them chat about horses, although she had to stop herself from joining in on more than one occasion.
They were almost finished the meal when she noticed Bob Nelson eyeing her curiously. “Don’t I know you?” he asked.
Maddie froze. “Um...no, I don’t think so. You must have mistaken me for someone else.”
For a moment, the older man held her gaze. “I could have sworn...” He shrugged. “No matter. As you said, I must have made a mistake.”
“Seems you must have a double, Maddie.” Cass smiled.
Maddie stood hurriedly, almost losing her balance in her rush to start clearing the table.
“She knows all about Grand Design,” Jake remarked. “Through your dad, right, Maddie?”
“Er...yes, kind of,” she mumbled, pushing crockery into the dishwasher. “I just know that he’s beautiful but cantankerous.”
“Well, that is a good description of him,” Bob agreed.
As the older man went to leave with Jake ten minutes later, Maddie glanced across at him and caught his gaze again. The puzzled frown on his face unnerved her slightly. She’d never set out to lie to anyone...and she hadn’t, not really. She was just keeping some things to herself until the time was right. If Bob Nelson did recognize her, then she would come across to Jake and Cass as deceitful, and that was the last thing she wanted.
When Maddie set off later that afternoon to pick Robbie up from school, she felt positive and lighthearted, absorbing her surroundings with a new awareness. Fell sheep with black faces and wild eyes scattered off the road as she rounded a corner, trotting off through the bracken just as the sun burst from behind a cloud, casting its beam across the fell side so that its greens and grays took on a mantle of gold. Why was it, she wondered, that the sky here seemed so much bigger than anywhere else? A hum bubbled through her lips and she smiled to herself, feeling that she’d somehow turned a corner, and this time it was in the right direction.
She flexed her legs as she drove along. Unbelievably, they felt less tired and painful than they had yesterday, and she was definitely more coordinated. Her back still ached with nagging consistency, but she knew that was something she just had to learn to live with. Balance, stamina and coordination were what she needed if she was going to ride again. Finally it felt as if her goal might be within her grasp.
She arrived at the school way too early and pulled into the parking lot outside the old-fashioned gray stone building, settling back into her seat to wait. With new hope also came the memories of what she’d lost, and for once she allowed them to crowd back into her head. Starting with the morning she tried not to think about, the day her life was turned on its head.
CHAPTER SEVEN (#ulink_1cea29d5-49d7-57e3-8749-b101c18e2601)
SHE WAS LATE for work, thanks to Alex. They’d had another of their arguments again last night; if it wasn’t a disagreement about their wedding plans, then it was usually over what he called her “lack of business sense.” Sometimes Maddie felt as if he was trying to groom her for a future as a trainer’s partner rather than his wife. Well, she was definitely not going to give up racing or working with the horses hands-on, no matter what he thought.
Last night, she’d still been upset about Dennis, and it had irritated him. It was always hard to let go of a horse you’d cared for constantly, though, and Dennis, aka Grand Design, was extra special. She’d been bitten by him, kicked by him and dumped on the gallops more than once, but then they’d made their breakthrough and suddenly found trust.
She’d insisted on leading him up the ramp when the new owner had come to collect him two days earlier. It had been such a mistake, though, letting Dennis believe, she felt, that she’d broken that precarious trust. That was what she’d been upset about the night before, but Alex could be so cold sometimes. Horses were just a means to an end in the racing industry, he insisted, there to win races and make money. In his eyes, a reflection of his dad’s attitude, sentiment had no part to play in the business. You cared for the horses to your best ability, fed them the right food, gave them the best training, helped smooth out their problems, but getting too attached, as Maddie did, was, according to Alex, a mistake.
She’d left him in a temper, she remembered, and woken up the next morning bleary-eyed with the tears she’d shed. They had been hailed as racing’s golden couple, both talented jockeys with a bright future. It was expected that Alex would one day take over from his father, and Maddie would be by her husband’s side, supporting him as Alex’s mum, Joan, had done for his dad. But it hadn’t felt like that to her then; it had felt as if he was trying to take control of her, even of her emotions, telling her how to feel and how to think and what to do.
With a gulp of apprehension, Maddie allowed herself to remember what had happened next...
She’d slept in past dawn, waking in a panic because she was late. Pulling on her jodhpurs and a thick, pale blue sweater, she had grabbed a packet of crisps as she passed through the kitchen before jumping on her bike. She was intent on getting to the yard before Scott, the head lad, noticed her absence. Her engagement to the boss’s son held no clout with him, and she respected that.
A late February frost had brought a sparkle to the gray surface of the lane. Even the few brave daffodils, whose glorious yellow flowers heralded the approach of spring, had glittered. Maddie could almost feel the sharp, clear morning air on her face as she relived the moment.
Her thighs had ached with effort as she pedaled up the hill from the village, and then she was freewheeling down the other side, her breath coming more easily as her bike increased speed.
It was as she approached the bridge that she saw it. The lane narrowed and she slowed her pace just as the black SUV came roaring into sight over the bridge, traveling way too fast. For a moment, she’d frozen. There was nowhere to go. Pulling on her brakes, she’d veered right, seeing the white face of the driver as he tried to avoid her. Oblivious to the ice, he’d stood on the brakes, but the big vehicle had just carried on, slithering sideways on the slippery road. She would never forget the horror that filled her whole body, the sheer, tortured fear that took away her breath and rendered her helpless.
When the vehicle hit her, strangely there was no pain. She felt a thud, heard the crack of bones unable to withstand the onslaught, felt the fuzziness inside her head that distanced her from the scene...and then came the blackness.
* * *
“MADDIE...MADDIE!”
It was only when Robbie pulled the car door open that she heard him. “Sorry,” she said, blinking. “I was miles away.”
“I won, Maddie!” he cried, jumping up and down.
“Won what?” she asked.
He flashed her a puzzled glance. “The drawing competition—you know, you helped me with it yesterday?”
“Of course... Sorry, Robbie, that’s brilliant. Your mum and dad will be so proud of you.”
“She is kind of like my mum, isn’t she?” he said thoughtfully, climbing into the backseat. “Cass, I mean... It’s like I’ve got two mums.”
“You can never have too many mums.” Maddie smiled. “Now tell me what they said about your drawing.”
Robbie’s excited chatter about his teacher’s glowing praise for the galloping horse he’d drawn, and his detailed account of the other contestants’ entries, took Maddie’s mind well away from her memories of the fateful morning that had realigned her hopes and dreams.
When they got back to Sky View, Robbie relayed the whole story again for Cass, who then asked Maddie if she would take him out to the yard to see his dad. Robbie’s dog, Choco, followed them, bouncing around in excitement.
They found Jake in the barn, feeding some youngsters. Maddie drank in the sweet aroma of hay, running her eyes over the six yearlings that were diving into buckets of feed. The environment brought such a heavy weight of memories that she felt the sudden rush of tears.
“Are you okay?” Jake asked, noticing her expression.
“Yes,” she said, forcing a smile. “Just a bit of hay fever, I think.”
“Best get back into the house, then,” he suggested. “Cass will have some antihistamines, I’m sure. Rob can stay and help me.”
Maddie walked slowly back across the yard, stopping by each stable to gently stroke the head of every inmate. So many beautiful horses—grays and bays and chestnuts, all eager for attention. The horses at Sky View were happy horses, she decided, wondering how long it would take before she felt confident enough to try riding one. It annoyed her that she had to wait until a quiet one came into the yard, but that was something she just had to accept. Planting a determined smile upon her face, she continued to the house. If she had to pretend to be a novice, then that was what she would do.
“You may as well head off,” Cass suggested when Maddie stepped into the kitchen. “Thanks for picking Robbie up.”
“It’s what you pay me for,” Maddie said, grinning.
“Yes, but you’re so good with him.”
Maddie shrugged. “Well...he’s a great little boy.”
“He certainly is. Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell you earlier, but you may as well have tomorrow as your day off. I’m at the hospital and Jake is coming with me. We’re going out to lunch after, and Bill is away for the day, too, so there’s not much point in your coming in. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine by me,” Maddie said. Truth was, the thought of having a day to rest and build up her strength was very appealing. She’d done more in the past few days than she had in over eighteen months.
“So I guess I’ll see you on Friday, then. Can you get here in time to take Robbie to school?”
“Of course,” Maddie responded, pulling on her jacket. “And have a nice day tomorrow... I mean, not at the hospital of course, but...”
“I know what you mean.” Cass laughed. “Doctors’ appointments are never much fun, but we’ll have a nice lunch somewhere and then we’re going to go and buy a stroller... Wow, I never thought I’d hear myself say that.”
“Well, it’s a bit too late to change your mind now,” Maddie said, glancing meaningfully at Cass’s belly. “And you’re going to need a stroller pretty soon.”
Cass grimaced. “Three weeks tomorrow, actually, and I’m definitely not looking forward to it. I mean, I’m looking forward to being a mum, of course—it’s just the birth that worries me.”
Maddie placed a reassuring hand on Cass’s arm. “Thousands of people have babies every day, so surely it can’t be that bad. And if it was, then why would anyone have more than one?”
“Thanks, you’re right. I’m just being stupid. I’ll see you on Friday, and you can give me your opinion on my beautiful brand-new stroller. I’m thinking of getting something really outrageous.”
“Good for you.” Maddie smiled again. “And have a nice day tomorrow.”
As she walked toward her car, Maddie felt a sudden lurch of regret. If things had been different, she could have been like Cass right now, married to a man she loved, satisfied and secure...maybe even pregnant, too. No...she definitely wouldn’t be pregnant; she’d still be riding in races and living her life.
Alex’s face came into her head, an image of him on the day he’d told her he had met someone else, and she knew her sense of regret was misplaced. Relief was what she should be feeling, for escaping from a relationship that would only have ended in heartache anyway. If Alex hadn’t left her then, he would have done it later when she’d become dependent on him again. Despite her brave words to herself, however, the only feeling that consumed her as she set off for Rose Cottage was despair. Riding a horse again felt so very far away, and that was all that was keeping her going.
CHAPTER EIGHT (#ulink_c0a5add5-f6bf-53f9-abf8-b5371be26ea7)
EVER SINCE THE ACCIDENT, Maddie had made a conscious effort to keep her memories at bay, trying not to think too much about before, when every day was packed with exhilaration and adrenaline. In fact, she sometimes felt as if her whole life was in two separate parts—before and after. She tried to focus on the after, because before was too painful to bear. Finding out that Grand Design was stabled not too far away, however, had broken down her carefully nurtured barrier. The link with the stallion was just too strong to ignore.
Somehow, she decided, as she climbed awkwardly into her car and started the engine, she was going to try to see him, just to make sure he was happy and well cared for. She didn’t yet know how to go about it, but at least she had met his new owner, so that was a start.
As she drove back to Rose Cottage, Dennis was all she could think about. His power when she rode him up the gallops, and the way he used to nuzzle her, putting his nose over her shoulder to draw her back when she tried to leave him...happy memories from another life. She didn’t even notice the gorgeous scenery all around her, or think about the man in his dratted trailer, until it came into view. With a heavy lurch, her mind came back into the present.
The little girl, Meg, was outside playing with Red. Her chestnut hair had been braided and tied with brown ribbons, Maddie noticed, and she wore a bright blue dress with flowers on the front. Who could have done her hair? Surely not her dad; he didn’t have a sensitive bone in his body. Perhaps he had a girlfriend. Though if he did, then Maddie certainly hadn’t seen her around...not that she cared, of course. It just bothered her that he’d been so harsh this morning, ordering her to stay away from his daughter as though she was a bad influence or something. Oh, he had pretended it was just for the little girl’s safety, to discourage her from wandering off, but she wasn’t stupid. She didn’t like him, and he didn’t like her—that was the crux of it. Well, it wasn’t her fault that she’d paid good money to rent the cottage.
When Meg saw Maddie’s car pull up, she ran toward it, waving madly, braids bouncing on her shoulders and skinny legs flying. Red ambled along behind her, keeping guard.
Maddie clambered out into the late-afternoon sunshine, gradually easing her limbs into position as Meg came to a stop, a huge smile on her bright little face. Maddie hesitated, wondering whether she should send the girl back home, but her doubt lasted no more than a second. If Meg wanted to see her, she was only too happy to oblige. Never mind Ross Noble and his irritating arrogance.
“You look nice,” she said. “Have you been somewhere special?”
Meg shook her head, and one braid slid from its confines. “We’ve just been practicing for when I start school after summer.”
Maddie nodded. “That’s a good idea. You need to look nice and tidy for school.”
“They keep falling out, though.”
“What, you mean your braids?”
“Daddy says he can’t get them tight enough.”
“So your dad actually braided your hair and put the ribbons in and everything?”
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