Open Secret

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Somehow she summoned a smile for the waitress, who set their plates before them and cheerily asked if she could bring them anything else.

“Thanks, this looks great,” he said.

When the waitress left, he took out a copy of Carrie’s original birth certificate. She accepted this from him, too, staring down at the name of the baby girl. Linette Marie Chauvin, born to father Charles and mother Marie.

“That’s my birthday.”

He didn’t respond. What was there to say? The agency had no reason to alter birthdates, only names.

“Linette Chauvin.” She tried the name out, the voice thin, anguished. “It’s a pretty name.”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

She looked back at the adoption decree. “I…this baby…was nine months old when she was adopted. Aren’t babies usually adopted at birth?”

“They might be if the birth mother plans while pregnant to surrender her child for adoption. That wasn’t the case with you.”

“And I have a sister who knew about me. She’s older?”

“Six years older.”

“And…and my brother?”

“He’s the middle sibling. There’s two years between you and him.”

Her breathing was shallow, her gaze fastened to him as if she physically could not look away. “Why?” she asked. “Why were we given up for adoption?”

For the first time, he hesitated. “Wouldn’t you like to hear all this from Suzanne? She’s eager to talk to you.”

“No!” Fear made her voice sharp. She took a ragged breath, then a second one. “No,” she said more quietly. “I’m not ready. I don’t know. Eventually, maybe. But not yet.”

He hid his disappointment. Her reaction wasn’t uncommon in adoptees who were found unexpectedly by someone from their birth family. Meeting a birth relative out of the blue was often difficult. The chances were good they’d see some part of themselves reflected back, as if for the first time in their life they’d had the chance to look in a mirror. There was the necessity of knowing what to say to this person, how to feel. Did the adoptee want a relationship with this stranger whose face was familiar, who was so eager? Or did he or she only want to consent to one meeting? The whole thing was upsetting and confusing, and sometimes the adoptee needed time to adjust.