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All a Man Is
All a Man Is
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All a Man Is

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“She may not,” he said softly.

Her face crumpled. “I know. Oh, God, Alec. Did we do the right thing?”

He wanted to promise her they had, that Angel Butte was the idyllic town they’d hoped for, but he was beginning to wonder if there was any such thing. He’d grown up in Southern California, used to the tangle of overcrowded freeways and the yellow light of smoggy mornings. He wondered guiltily what her Minnesota hometown looked like.

“I think so,” he said, unable to resist a gentle squeeze before he had to let her go. “It’s not like Liana knew her friends that long. Maybe moving so soon after the last time is hard on them, but I have to think doing it quickly is better than waiting.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry the house is so, uh, unprepossessing.”

“What?” She lifted her face to his, surprise in those extraordinary eyes. “Don’t be silly. The duplex looks like it did in pictures, except better. You’ve had more work done than you admitted to, haven’t you?”

He didn’t say anything. Normally careful to keep his distance, he hadn’t been this close to her since he’d held her after the funeral. Her skin, tanned to a pale gold, was as smooth as a child’s, her lashes surprisingly long without any help from mascara. Her upper lip had an unusually deep dip in it that made him think of the pretty mouths painted on dolls.

If he bent his head just a little...

Her eyes widened at whatever she saw on his face.

Clenching his jaw, he released her.

“What if I keep Matt tonight?” he asked. “I’ve got one of the bedrooms set up as a spare.”

“Really? You’d do that? Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I could drop him at the hotel on my way. We could all have breakfast at the Denny’s there.”

“I would love that,” she admitted. “I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been having distinctly unmaternal thoughts about him.”

Having regained his self-control after a brief but significant battle, Alec was able to laugh. “How shocking. And this was the first time?”

She chuckled, a delicious ripple of sound. “Okay. You’re right. There have been a few previous moments I’d have put him up on Craigslist if I thought I’d get any offers.”

“It’s a phase. He’ll get over it.” Alec hoped.

Julia smiled. “They’re fighting again.”

“Then let’s go separate them.”

“Okay, but first—” She astonished him by stepping closer to kiss his cheek. She was blushing when she sank back to her heels, but her eyes held his. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me, so I won’t even try. But I want you to know—”

He shook his head and took a chance, placing his finger over her lips, feeling them quiver. “No. I love those kids, too. If you’d taken them away, it would have destroyed me.”

For a moment they only looked at each other, their defenses lower than usual. He hoped she couldn’t see the part he didn’t say: losing her would have destroyed him, too.

Especially losing her.

“How come you get the biggest room?” his nephew said, startling Alec, who hadn’t noticed the kids coming back into the kitchen.

Alec leveled a stare at the kid. “Because she’s the adult and pays the bills.”

Matt contented himself with rolling his eyes.

“Uncle Alec suggested you spend the night with him,” Julia said, her tone neutral.

The boy shrugged and ducked his head. “I guess that’s okay,” he mumbled.

Not exactly enthusiastic, but close enough.

Alec studied Matt, sorry to see that he hadn’t grown to speak of in recent months. He’d been a shrimp at this age, too, a curse he had especially resented because Josh, two years older and therefore taller at every stage anyway, had grown steadily all along. The height and physical-maturity issue might have something to do with Matt’s behavior, if he’d been trying to convince his buddies that he was big and bad, too.

He was a good-looking kid, though, with the same dark hair and eyes as his dad and Alec. Alec could see Josh in his face, more square-jawed and less angular than Alec’s face. The shape of his eyes came from Julia, though.

“Then let’s take your mom and Liana to the hotel.”

His eyes narrowed and that square jaw jutted out. “Wait. Then they can go swimming and I can’t.”

Julia looked at Alec, a hint of panic in her eyes.

“It’s late,” he said. “The swim can wait until tomorrow.”

Matt grumbled during the entire drive back to the hotel. Alec contemplated how his own father would have dealt with that kind of back talk. Maybe there was something to be said for old-school parenting.

Saying good-night took only a few minutes. Julia had checked into her room earlier but their suitcases were still in the trunk of her car. Alec walked her and Liana into the lobby and watched them get onto an elevator. He couldn’t make himself move until the elevator doors closed and cut off his last sight of her. Then he went back out into the warm night, where Matt waited by the Tahoe.

Alec unlocked the doors. “Long drive, huh?”

He was treated to more bitching. Why did they have to drive? Even if Mom wanted to, she could have let them fly. Or hired someone to drive the car here.

“Every time I played my iPod, she made me turn down the volume. What difference does it make to her how loud my music is?”

“Do you know what you sound like every time you talk about your mom?”

Matt gave a one-shoulder shrug that said louder than words, Who cares?

“My father would have taken his belt to my backside if I’d talked about my mother that way.”

“You don’t know what she’s like.”

“I know your mother pretty well,” Alec said mildly.

“You just think you do,” Mattie sneered.

Alec signaled to turn into his driveway. “You make life pretty unpleasant for everyone around you when you act this way.”

Matt turned his head away. “So, who cares? You don’t have to see me. I wish you’d just let us stay in L.A. Why’d we have to move, too?”

“Because it was the right thing for all of us as a family.” Alec turned off the engine. Laying his forearm across the steering wheel, he turned enough to look at his nephew. Into the silence, he said, “Your mom and I talked to you about it.”

“I was happy there.”

“No, you weren’t.” Alec let his voice harden. “A happy thirteen-year-old boy doesn’t get drunk. He doesn’t shoplift or get in fights at school. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile. Happy kids smile.”

Matt flashed him a dark look. “I smile with my friends. When I had friends. Which I don’t now, thanks to you. And her.”

“You’ll make new ones.” Alec watched him, then shook his head. “Come on, let’s grab your stuff.”

Maybe he should have saved the lecture. He’d become the enemy now, too. But damn it, he wasn’t willing to tolerate such disrespect for Julia, either.

They walked into Alec’s side of the duplex. Matt looked around. “At least you have a TV.”

He wanted to say, So does the hotel room, but he’d seen the relief on Julia’s face when Matt had agreed to sleep here, and nothing would make him return her demon spawn to her tonight.

“How’d your grades end up?” he asked casually, although he already knew.

Matt had the sullen shrug down pat.

“I hope you plan to try here, Mattie.”

The boy rounded on him like a cornered badger. His eyes glittered. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ve called you that for years.”

“I’m not some dumb little kid anymore.”

Alec let his eyebrows climb. “Your dad called you Mattie.”

“You’re not my father!” the boy spat.

He needed a second to be sure he could respond calmly. “No. But I loved Josh, and I love you.”

Matt stared down at his toes.

“Matt it is,” Alec said after a moment. “Come on. You’re the first person to sleep in the guest room.”

Leading the way, he heard a muttered “Oh, wow.”

Man, Alec hoped the kid wasn’t as big a shit to everyone else as he was to his mother and now him. To the people who had authority over him, it occurred to Alec. Didn’t bode well for teachers or coaches.

Grimacing, he had to wonder if Matt would make friends in Angel Butte. Even the way he dressed was going to stand out. Around here, boys his age didn’t wear pants with the crotch hanging down around their knees and T-shirts three sizes too big. Alec hoped there wasn’t already a tattoo hidden where his mother hadn’t seen it, but where the other boys would in the locker room. Maybe not every kid at the middle school here in Angel Butte would be wholesome, but they tended to put up a better front.

Sooner or later, he and Matt would be having a serious talk about what was and wasn’t acceptable. Alec could hardly wait.

“Why don’t you come out to the kitchen once you’re settled?” he suggested.

He was treated to the sight of the bedroom door shutting in his face.

CHAPTER TWO

AT HIS FIRST SIGHT of people clustered at the base of the Public Safety Building’s front steps, Alec’s mood darkened.

And he’d been feeling unusually good, too; how could he not, having started his day over the breakfast table with Julia and the kids?

He pocketed his car keys, mentally braced himself and strode forward. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was a press conference, and no one had told him. He was even less pleased when he spotted, as the focus of the small crowd, Captain Colin McAllister, who worked immediately under him heading investigation and support services. McAllister had served as acting police chief until Alec’s arrival and really should have been given the job permanently. His resentment had never been a secret, although he saved most of it for Mayor Noah Chandler, who had blocked his hiring.

Alec had really enjoyed watching Chandler fall for McAllister’s sister. Neither of the men had been very happy about the prospect of becoming family.

Now McAllister stood on the top step, surrounded by microphones. He wore a well-cut suit and was listening to a question with his head slightly bent.

But damn, Alec was going to be pissed if McAllister had some big news he’d chosen not to share with him before holding an attention-grabbing press conference.

Closer up, he saw that some of the crowd were police department employees and passersby, drawn by curiosity. His experienced eye identified a pair of reporters, one with the Bend Bulletin and the other with the Angel Butte Reporter. A third might be a stringer for the Oregonian out of Portland, and, more annoyingly, a huge TV camera from a local news channel was there and filming.

As he neared, he couldn’t help noticing that McAllister’s expression was not expansive.

“Mayor Chandler has endorsed me,” he said with the tone of a man repeating himself. “Feel free to take your questions to him.”

Jim Henning from the Reporter caught sight of Alec. He swung away from McAllister. “Chief Raynor!” They all turned to him, faces avid.

Feeling like fresh meat, Alec took the stairs until he was at his captain’s side. “I wasn’t aware of any excitement this morning.”

“Word has been leaked that the mayor blacklisted Captain McAllister as a candidate for the position of police chief. Were you aware of his action?”

Alec flicked his captain a sidelong glance. McAllister spread the fingers of one hand in a subtle what the hell? gesture.

“I was aware,” he said.

“And yet you and he both have endorsed Captain McAllister for county sheriff,” Henning said.

“That’s correct.” He looked from face to face. “May I ask who leaked this information?”

The stringer from the Oregonian answered. “The tip came from Sheriff Brock’s campaign manager.” He sounded slightly sardonic. In not quite three months on the job, Alec had already heard plenty of stories about the incumbent sheriff, who was certainly incompetent and very probably corrupt.

“I see. As I believe Captain McAllister has already suggested, you might want to take your questions to the mayor.”

“You must know Mayor Chandler’s reasoning,” Jim Henning shot back.

Damn it. He hesitated, debating whether to stonewall the question or not. “I do know,” he said finally, “and I can tell you honestly that if I had been in the mayor’s position, I would have hired Captain McAllister. I have only the highest respect for his expertise as a law-enforcement officer, his leadership ability and his integrity.”

He smiled crookedly. “I’d have been the loser, of course, so I can’t altogether regret the decision. That said, I’m aware of the frustration many sheriff’s deputies feel with inadequate equipment and salaries, a substandard crime lab and a lack of support from the top. It’s my belief Captain McAllister is exactly what this county needs to upgrade the department. As chief of the county’s largest city, I look forward to working closely with him once he becomes sheriff.”

He held up a hand. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, the two of us are currently employed by the city.” He eyed them. “Since I assume you’re heading to city hall next, I wouldn’t want you reporting to the mayor that we’re doing nothing but hanging around chatting with all of you.”

There was general laughter. Ignoring shouted questions that were more of the same, he and McAllister entered the building.

“Why don’t you come on up to my office?” he suggested.

Without saying a word, the captain stepped onto the elevator with him, got off with him and accompanied him down the hall to the door that said Police Chief in shiny gold script.

His assistant greeted them and brought two cups of coffee before Alec had even sat down behind his desk. The moment the door closed behind her, McAllister growled, “That son of a bitch.”

“Brock?”