Behind the Lie: A nail-biting psychological suspense for 2018

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‘No, he’s bought himself out of the army. He said it was the worst mistake of his life; just did it to prove himself to his dad and wished to God that he could turn back time.’

I can feel Demi’s eyes on me, so I send my gaze to the thin navy line that divides sea from sky. A flurry of unbidden thoughts are coming from different directions, smashing into each other, past and present, a tumult of emotions mirroring the pattern of waves bashing against the rocks in front of me. Eventually I say, ‘Well, don’t we all wish we could go back sometimes? Do things a different way? A better way?’

Demi nods. ‘He said that he misses you every day and wishes you were still together. Said he was a fucking idiot to leave you.’

I look at her to see if she is messing about but she’s deadly serious. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah. He knew you’d moved away, of course. Your mum told his mum that you were married. He didn’t know about the babies though – I told him. He said that I should tell you he’s glad for you and wishes you all the happiness in the world.’

The breeze picks up and I look into it and away from Demi to let the moisture dry my eyes. The trouble is, more tears are waiting. I don’t need this. Not now. I can’t think about Jowan. My heart can’t take it.

‘Holly? Are you crying?’

‘No, of course not,’ I say briskly and begin to gather the picnic things. ‘The wind is making my eyes water. Let’s go back to the house now. I’m getting chilly.’

‘Hot chocolate is just the thing for shock,’ Demi says and places a steaming mug in front of me on the balcony table. The clouds have rolled themselves across every inch of blue sky and we are wrapped in blankets, eating biscuits and watching the brave souls still on the beach.

‘I think you’ll find that’s hot, sweet tea. And I’m not in shock.’

Demi looks into her mug. Hot, sweet tea? No, it’s definitely hot chocolate.’

‘I meant that…’ The mischief in her eyes stop my words. It’s usually me that does the winding up.

She points a digestive at me and then dunks it into the mug. ‘Got you there. Makes a change.’

‘Yep. So how’s the jewellery business going? You haven’t said much about it.’

‘Really unsubtle way of changing the subject, Hols.’

I sigh. Demi is really beginning to get on my nerves now. ‘Unsubtle or not, I’d really rather talk about your life for a bit. You said the other day that your new guy might be moving here. Any more developments?’ I take a drink of the hot chocolate and push another image of Jowan’s face from my mind.

Demi brightens and a huge smile tells me that this new guy might be ‘the guy’. ‘Well, funny you should mention that, but yes, Alex texted me last night to say he’s coming down in a few weeks to have another look round. Then he’ll make his decision. It’s a big jump to make from Edinburgh, after all.’

‘Oh, that’s great! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’

The smile falters and she shrugs. ‘Oh, I don’t know. I suppose I didn’t want to jinx it. It was all lovely when we were working in Greece together, but I do worry it won’t last now we’re back here. I don’t have a great track record at keeping men, do I?’

‘But you never really wanted a serious relationship before, did you? You were always content doing your own thing.’

Demi twists her mouth to the side and nods. ‘Yeah, I guess so. It’s just that I don’t want to get hurt. I saw what happened to you and…’

‘Really unsubtle way of bringing the subject back to me, Dem.’ My voice is flat, weary.

She has the grace to look sheepish. ‘Righty-ho, you win. Let’s talk about me. The jewellery-making business isn’t half bad. I think tourists like the fact that I sell out of my van – they buy into the surfer-girl image and I lay it on thick too.’ Demi grins at me and I send one back.

‘Good. And Alex will be good for you; I can feel it in my water.’

Demi gestures at my bump. ‘I hope they don’t break while I’m here!’

‘Me either. You’d probably make me a mug of hot, sweet tea and run around here like a scalded cat.’ We laugh. ‘I haven’t quite decided but I think I might opt for a C-section. Simon’s colleague would do it, of course.’

‘Why not Simon?’

‘Well, it’s frowned upon really. It’s not illegal, but the medical profession thinks operating on family members is unethical. Besides, he’d be far too nervous, him being the expectant dad and all. The plan is for him to sit and hold my hand like any other dad would and leave the hard work to the others.’

‘Good idea. Five weeks to go then?’

‘Yeah, though twins normally come earlier. When I get back I’ll have a scan at Simon’s practice, just to see that everything is okay.’

‘Handy, having a private consultant for a husband.’

The disapproval in her voice rankles. Okay, growing up, Simon’s world and mine and Demi’s were oceans apart. But I live in his world now and he’s done everything he can to make me happy in it. I can’t see the point in picking a fight with her though, and stand to clear the plates. She stands too and puts her hands on my shoulders. I don’t like the serious look in her eye or the way she takes a deep breath as if she’s building up to something.

She lets out the breath and says, ‘You know, it isn’t too late to go back. I can see that living in London is killing you and Jowan said…’

‘For God’s sake!’ I brush off her hands. ‘There is no going back for me and Jowan. Look at me!’ I jab a finger at my belly. ‘I’m about to become a mother, I have a husband who loves me, and if you don’t stop all this nonsense, you and me are going to fall out big time.’

Demi’s face crumbles and she draws me to her. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, love. I don’t want to upset you, I just thought…’

I hold her at arm’s length. ‘Then please don’t. Too much thinking does no good. I’m going back to London tomorrow and everything will be okay, all right?’ I give her a little smile and hope she’ll stop now.

‘Of course. I’ll shut my big gob.’ Demi pretends to zip her lips and gives me another hug. ‘I’d hate to make you unhappy.’

We clear away and I follow her into the kitchen, wishing it wasn’t already too late for that.