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The topic of conversation was too much and Alexa did not feel like discussing the past. The way she handled the situation was wrong and she realized it, but she wasn’t prepared to discuss it. Not at the moment, anyhow. The last thing she wanted to talk about was what she did wrong because that had been haunting her from day one.
“Look, Darius, it is apparent that you are intoxicated,” she announced, standing. “You are in no condition to discuss serious subject matter.”
Darius shook his head. His movement was so exaggerated that he looked as if he might give himself whiplash. “I may be a little faded, but I’m not incoherent.”
She shrugged. “Okay, how about I don’t want to talk about it.”
Darius looked at her strangely. “Alexa. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”
Rather than respond, she turned away from him, focusing her attention on the dresser before her. The next few days would be hard on both of them. For Alexa, trying to maintain a civil posture would be easy under other circumstances, but if every time she peered over her shoulder to find Darius watching her every move, she would likely falter.
Darius groaned and fell back on the bed.
The sound escaping from his throat caught her attention and she turned to find him stretched out on her bed. “What’s wrong?”
He moaned with a shake of his head. “My head is killing me. Can you get me an aspirin and some water?”
“Sure,” she quickly replied, heading to the bathroom. She located a bottle of Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. She turned on the faucet and filled a Dixie cup with water. When she returned to the bedroom, she found Darius fast asleep. Rather than wake him, she placed the cup and pain reliever on the nightstand.
Although she wanted to leave the room, she couldn’t help remaining in her place watching him sleep. Even in slumber, Darius was a fine piece of art. His sculpted arms and washboard stomach revealed that fitness was one of his priorities. The rise and fall of his chest with each breath, followed by the familiar growl-like snore added to his powerfulness. The slight furrow of his brow caused her to wonder what he was thinking.
It was funny how she couldn’t recall him frowning in his sleep in their younger days. She remembered how much she used to love watching him sleep. He seemed so masculine. His snoring always made her feel secure. Alexa missed that, and the old sinking feeling dwelled in her stomach.
Shaking away the longing like rain off of an umbrella, Alexa made herself walk away. She returned, moments later, only to lay a quilt on top of him before snuggling under one herself on the chair.
As soon as she propped her head against the cushioned padding, she fell fast asleep.
In the middle of the night, Darius awakened to find Alexa curled up on the chair in what looked like an uncomfortable position. He glanced at the alarm clock. It was a few minutes after 2:00 in the morning. He decided he could sleep the alcohol off for another two hours and be gone before the other inhabitants woke up.
Watching Alexa snoring peacefully made Darius determined not to sleep alone. He slipped out of bed and gently picked her up from the chair and carried her over to the bed where he laid her down. After covering her with the comforter, he lay down beside her, on top of the covers, pulling her into his arms. His heart beat like an African drum. He had imagined, actually dreamt about this moment many times. Having Alexa in his arms again felt so right. Like it was where she belonged.
Chapter 4
Just as smoothly as he had come in the night, Darius was gone the next morning. Through blinking eyes, Alexa wondered how she got into the bed. A secretive smile curved the corners of her mouth when she concluded that it was Darius’s doing.
That smile faded when she rolled onto her side and gazed out of the window, realizing the complications she was creating by allowing him to place her in difficult situations. Letting Darius inside the house and into her room could have been a mistake. While she was supposed to be there for Maya, most of her quiet time was spent reflecting on her feelings and past with him.
With a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes once again and allowed herself to escape into the past filled with passionate memories that touched her every essence.
Despite her initial reservations, Alexa and Darius hit it off. If there was one thing that she recalled about her relationship with him in comparison to other guys she dated, it was the fact that their personalities were a perfect complement. While Darius was talkative, Alexa was more of a listener. He taught her how to express herself more and she showed him how to listen well. Any tension that was apparent in the beginning had quickly dissolved as they fell into a comfortable place. Everything about their relationship was special, including their first time. Darius was her first lover. And, oh, what a lover he had been, Alexa thought with a smile.
Because she was a virgin, Darius felt it was important that they discuss what she wanted their first time together to be like beforehand.
Alexa took the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy while Darius concentrated on fulfilling her wishes by making the evening special. When that special night had arrived, Darius fronted some money to Bryant for him and Maya to stay the night at a hotel. Once the apartment was vacated and while Alexa was away, he began to create an evening that his woman would never forget.
Alexa remembered being nervous the whole day. However, when she crossed the threshold of her bedroom, her anxiety dissipated when she saw the care Darius had put into making her first time special.
There were candles all over the room, giving it a warm, inviting glow. Darius had searched through his music collection and made a compilation cassette of the best love songs of the time by great artists of love like the Isley Brothers, Force MD’s, Ready for the World and Luther Vandross. The bed was redressed in white linens and was scattered with rose petals. On the bedside was a small plate containing strawberries, pineapples and chocolate dip along with a bottle of chilled champagne and two glasses.
In the dimness she called out his name.
“Yes, babe,” he responded softly.
She turned to the sound of his voice and blushed at the sight of him standing in the doorway, shirtless, wearing nothing more than a pair of jeans. He reached his hand out for her to come to him and she responded, her heart pounding in her chest like a bass drum. As she slowly moved towards him, she couldn’t help but get caught up in the ambiance that he had created. Once she reached him, Darius pulled her into his embrace. With his hands on her hips, he began swaying her into a slow dance.
He whispered sweet endearments into her ear as he held her tightly. She relaxed and rested her cheek against his smooth sturdy chest with a sigh, feeling as if she could stay in his arms like that all night long.
They danced to several love ballads before Darius took her by the hand, and led her over to the bed where he began to feed her some of the chocolate-covered fruit.
As she savored the sweet treat, Darius reached for the bottle of champagne and poured some into a wineglass. Holding the glass to her mouth, he tilted it for her consumption, deliberately allowing some of it to leak out of the corner of her mouth and trail down her chin to her neck and finally into her blouse. With a mischievous grin, he cleaned up the liquid with his warm tongue.
No words were exchanged as Darius proceeded to remove each piece of her clothing in slow motion until she was standing naked before him. He stepped back to gaze upon her with love-filled eyes. Alexa blushed under his scrutiny and immediately glanced away, her hands covering her femininity.
However, Darius wouldn’t have it and looked into her eyes as he took her hands in his.
“I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, Alex,” he whispered as he stood before her. His lips tracked feathery kisses down her neck and shoulders while his hands caressed her soft skin. It didn’t take Alexa long to forget about her nudity and in moments her inhibitions gave way to the warm need stirring in her abdomen.
Darius was gentle. He loved her slow and sweet. It was everything Alexa wanted her first time to be like. When it was over, she cried because she knew she was in love. Darius whispered sweet promises as he kissed the tears away. The next morning, instead of eating they had each other for breakfast in her bed several times before falling asleep curled up to one another as if connected for life.
When they exited the bedroom later that evening, Bryant and Maya were grinning like Cheshire cats. However, Alexa’s smile was only for him because she knew her life had changed forever. The whole year, the two were inseparable until that fateful night when Alexa stepped out of his life.
Although she tried Alexa could not shake Darius’s memory, which burned like a torch in her heart. She believed that her disregard for their relationship came back to haunt her when Sean called off the wedding, reaffirming her belief in the saying “what goes around comes around.” Since then, she accepted the responsibility of what had occurred and chalked it up as a learning experience.
Yet here they were, nine years later and she felt helpless around him again. The ever-present chemistry between them hovered above as a reminder of how good they were together.
There was also the ever-present fact that the situation had driven a wedge between them. In time, she had learned to gain control of her emotions and move on. Yet she could not help but be reminded that she may have lost the one true love of her life.
Right now she had no place in her life or her heart for distractions. For the remainder of her stay, Alexa vowed to concentrate on her role in the wedding and not on Darius or their history. Once the festivities ended, she would catch the first flight back to Denver.
The orange sphere swirled around the rim a few times before sinking into the net. Darius jogged up to retrieve it, bounced it three times, looked to his left then to his right before pivoting sharply back to his left only to drive down the middle of the court for a layup.
Darius had lain awake most of the night thinking about her. It felt so good holding her in his arms again, and took everything he had within him to get up and leave. He left her curled up, hugging the pillow. Later in his own bed, he tossed and turned. He tried watching television, but there wasn’t anything on that held his interest, so he decided to get up and work out to clear his mind.
After shooting hoops for another half hour, he went up to the locker room to get ready for the day. He was glad Bryant was able to obtain a temporary pass to a 24-hour gym for him during his visit. Working out was a great tension reliever for him.
Sweat poured down his face as he peeled off the saturated T-shirt and shorts before stepping into a steamy shower. When the hot water hit his tired muscles and streamed down his body, thoughts of Alexa entered his mind. Darius had come to understand that seeing her again was like never having lost sight of her at all. They were three months into their new relationship and every day was like their first time meeting. He recalled in his mind the exact moment that he knew he was in love.
He had been studying for a test when Alexa returned from her campus job.
The minute he laid his eyes on her, he knew that there would be no studying taking place.
Her image stayed with him long after she left his presence for the kitchen. All he saw on the pages of his textbook were her smooth, shapely brown legs, soft feminine curves beneath her tank top and short denim skirt and those smiling brown eyes. He stole a glance at her pulling books out of her backpack and was mesmerized. Damn, she’s beautiful, he murmured to himself.
“Let’s go to the park,” he suggested a few moments after her arrival.
There was no denying the attraction between them. Alex, as he liked to call her, was the first woman who captured all of his senses. He knew that it would be a matter of time before their playful wrestling and the late-night company they kept while watching old movies would eventually lead to something more.
For right now he was content with being in her company. Not only did she have the temperament that complemented his own, but she was a beautiful person both inside and out and a lot of fun. Darius also enjoyed her sense of humor that came across as naiveté. This made him feel so relaxed in her presence and he appreciated that he could be himself.
“The park?” she asked, stepping from the kitchen. She smoothed her bangs, a habit of hers that he found to be so cute.
Darius nodded emphatically as he stood up, encircling her waist in his arms. “I need to take a break from the studying. C’mon,” he urged.
Alexa relented with a smile. “Okay, let me change.”
“No!” Darius blurted. “Don’t change. You are fine just the way you are.” He meant that in more ways than one and judging by the grin Alexa threw his way, he was sure she caught on to the double meaning.
They drove to their favorite park and walked the bicycle trail until they came upon a bench facing one of Michigan’s many lakes. Several people had their boats out on the lake, some sailing, others fishing. The one which caught Alexa’s eye was bright yellow. The gentle breeze made the colorful matching sails flap lazily.
Alexa sighed and leaned back on the bench up against Darius’s chest. “That’s pretty,” she cooed.
Darius turned to her, his heart fluttering like the winded sail before them. She was so close to him. He could smell the sweet cherry fragrance of her hair oil. She looked so stunning even with her hair pulled back into a silky ponytail. No, she did not possess model-like features like Maya, but she had a more wholesome splendor which attracted him more; an untouched beauty that he had to claim as his own.
He then proceeded to do what his heart had been telling him the moment they met. Without warning, with his hand on her cheek Darius gently turned Alexa’s face to his own and lowered his head meeting her lips with his own. His rapid breathing began to calm when she opened her mouth to receive him as though she had been waiting all along for the moment to happen.
When Darius finally pulled away they sat there for a few seconds smiling at one another. Then with no words exchanged, as none were needed, Darius just entwined his fingers with hers and they continued to watch the wind rippling across the waters.
Darius shook his head as if to erase the vision from his mind onto current matters, and emerged from the shower refreshed.
As he got dressed, Darius ran through his itinerary for the day. He planned to pick up his tuxedo as well as a gift for the “oldly-weds” before heading to the church for rehearsal.
As he passed the front desk, Patricia, the desk receptionist called out goodbye. She had made it known at check-in that her “friendliness” reached beyond the front desk. Although she was attractive, he was not interested. It seemed to be the pattern in his life lately. Some sisters had no shame at all in approaching brothers these days for “no strings attached” sex and he had turned down many.
However, there were a few he considered.
There were certain qualities in the women he liked which allowed them to last longer than others. He could count those few women on one hand. Valerie Fontaine was one of them. Valerie was a beautiful weight trainer and part-time swimsuit model who could cook her butt off. Her culinary skills involved all sorts of exotic vegetarian dishes. She was an upbeat person with a positive outlook on life, happy with herself and mentally and spiritually balanced. However, Darius noticed that her appointment book was filled with more social and business activities than free time. After a while, he grew tired of being penciled in at odd hours in order for them to spend time with one another so they eventually parted.
Then there was Lanai Edwards. Lanai was a successful attorney, gorgeous, very professional and very committed, but because she had placed her personal life second to her career in the past, she was dead set on achieving her goals for making wedding plans a year into the relationship. When Darius couldn’t agree to her terms, the relationship quickly dissolved.
Then there was Tori Stackhouse, a down-to-earth single mom who attracted Darius with her easygoing personality. He liked how she put her son’s needs before everything and how she didn’t expect much out of him. She had a good heart and was attractive as well. However, he couldn’t help but be reminded of Alex in her presence. Once, when they were making love, he whispered Alexa’s name into her ear. That was enough for Tori to not take things any further. She wasn’t about to play second fiddle to any woman, and Darius couldn’t agree more.
The past six months were spent trying to find what made him happy in life. Upon reaching his thirty-third birthday, he had come to the conclusion that he may never experience the love, trust and honor that a good woman could bring to his life. In the meantime, he decided he wasn’t going to sit around and dwell on what he didn’t have. He had a lot to be thankful for. For one, he was in good health as was his family. Secondly, he had a decent job and held a position as an active administrator of a predominantly black, inner-city high school for boys in which he found many rewards. He was lucky to sit on many high-profile boards throughout the city and was involved in several professional and service organizations where he met some good people.
Just when he thought he had reached the level he wanted to, he got the call from Bryant urging him to fly to Detroit to stand as best man in his wedding. Darius was all for it until he learned that standing opposite him was his old love interest Alexa Kirkwood. His stomach practically fell to the floor, but for the sake of his cousin, he agreed to be there with his game face on. However, from the moment they came face-to-face, he turned weak in the knees like a schoolboy and his reservations were tossed out the window.
Although his heart ached for her, he knew he couldn’t sacrifice his soul again. As he parked his truck outside of his hotel room, he knew that he had to do whatever was necessary to get through the weekend, regardless of the circumstances.
Chapter 5
Alexa had sprung for a new outfit for the rehearsal dinner. She wore a black velvet dress with long sleeves and long skirt. The most attractive feature of the dress was the back, which temptingly dipped to the small of her back. She completed the outfit with a pair of black pumps with rhinestone straps. She twisted her hair up in the back, bringing attention to her dramatic eye makeup.
Alexa stepped from her room in time to see Maya sashaying down the hall, looking equally nice in a silver-gray cocktail dress with spaghetti straps and slim-fitting skirt, silver sandals and a matching sheer wrap.
“You go, girl, with your bad self!”
“No,” Maya replied with a shake of her head. “You are the one.”
“Does it look okay?” Alexa asked, smoothing her palms on the sides of her skirt. Her question was for more reasons than one.
“It looks real nice.” Maya replied and spun around to show off her attire. “What about me?”
It was apparent that Maya had an eye for fashion. Everything she owned, including her casual wear, looked great on her size-six figure. She always managed to find really nice articles of clothing in out-of-the-way boutiques and tonight was no exception.
“Bryant better watch out. He may want the honeymoon tonight!”
Maya smiled and draped the wrap over her shoulders in a dramatic fashion. “Remember, you always have to keep them on their toes.” Maya dropped her advice with a mischievous giggle. They stepped into the hall bathroom and headed straight for the mirror. They both fingered their hair into position and simultaneously stopped what they were doing to step back and admire their reflections.
Maya reached out and placed her hand on Alexa’s shoulder. “Hey, I want to apologize for my comments the other day,” she began.
“Oh, forget it,” Alexa replied with a wave of her hand. She was hurt by Maya’s observation, but she had to admit that she had gone somewhat overboard with her tirade.
“No, it is none of my business. I talked to Bryant about it and he gave me a new perspective. I’m sorry for trying to act as if something was there between you two. What you and Darius had is over and it’s time that I stop hoping for some sort of reconciliation because it is apparent that both of you have buried the past and I promise that I will, too.”
Alexa’s eyebrow rose at Maya’s comment, but she avoided responding. That wasn’t what she had gathered from Darius’s conversation the other day. However, he must have told Bryant otherwise since they last saw one another. And, although she wasn’t expecting anything from him, it hurt to hear it.
“I promise not to get into your business like that anymore,” Maya continued as she began applying some mascara to her eyelashes.
“Thanks, girl. I just want to be here for you without any distractions,” she sighed deeply. “And like you said, the past is in the past. I don’t want to stir up old memories. Let’s just focus on the New Year.”
Maya turned to Alexa and stretched out her arms as a peace offering. “Friends?”
Alexa nodded with a smile. “Always.”
The two leaned in and exchanged hugs.
The rehearsal went very well. After running through the entire ceremony a second time, Bryant and Maya were satisfied that things would fly without a hitch. While at the church, Alexa kept her attention focused on serving Maya. She didn’t want to even be left alone in Darius’s presence. It was hard not to engage in the bantering with the men along with the other women. The men were trying their best to agitate the women who received them good-naturedly.
Alexa stayed to the side, playing with the girls. On occasion, she’d glance over at the group to find Darius’s eyes on her. When this happened, she would quickly turn away, not acknowledging him.
So she sighed with relief that Maya had the foresight to not seat her near Darius at the rehearsal dinner. It would have definitely been a task if she had to avoid him in close proximity. As they took their seats, she immediately struck up a conversation with the young man seated beside her named Chris.
Chris was a student at the nearby college majoring in prelaw. He was a fraternity brother to both Bryant and Darius. So, most of his conversation was about the fraternity and Alexa tried to appear interested by asking questions.
Again when she broke eye contact with Chris to take a break from his ramblings, she’d find Darius watching. Instead of looking away like he had all day after being caught staring, he continued to challenge her by keeping his eyes set. After a while, Alexa got tired of being intimidated by his looking and accepted the challenge, but when she looked into those dark eyes, she quivered.
Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, Alexa excused herself. She was glad that there was no one else in the restroom as she entered. Standing before the mirror, she reached into her purse and retrieved a tube of lipstick. When she held her hand before her face to apply the color, she frowned at the sight of her hand trembling. She couldn’t believe Darius was acting up like he was. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? It was bad enough that both of them had to be within each other’s presence. He didn’t have to make it worse with his silly games.
With a sigh, she rolled down the tube and tossed it into her purse. She didn’t feel like going back into the dining room. What she wanted to do was get tomorrow over with and be on the first flight back to Denver.
She wasn’t going to get caught up in Darius’s control games which were sure to continue throughout the course of the evening. Rather than go back and endure his intense stares and smirks, Alexa detoured to the coatroom. The attendant handed over her coat with a gold-toothed smile and had the nerve to ask for her telephone number. She rolled her eyes in response and abruptly turned away.
The night air was chilly and instantly bit her face causing her to shiver despite the warm coverings she wore. Thank goodness there was a cabdriver waiting out front reading a newspaper. Alexa rapped on the passenger window with her knuckle. The East Indian man peered at her over the rim of his glasses and lowered the window a couple of inches.
“Are you on duty?” she asked. She shifted her weight from side to side to keep her blood circulating.
“Depends, where to?” he asked.
Alexa swore that if there had been another cab waiting, she would have told him to kiss her butt and move on. She hated when cabdrivers, especially the foreign ones, acted like all black passengers were potential thieves or prostitutes.
