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Andi settled her cheek against Sam’s chest, not certain whose heart was beating more rapidly, his or hers. But her heart was in the process of totally splintering.
On that thought she kissed his whisker-rough jaw and gathered all her courage to tell him the one thing she had avoided until now. “I love you, Sam.”
He touched her face with tenderness and gently kissed her brow. “As I love you.”
She experienced an overwhelming joy that raced to her soul and settled on her wounded heart. “Then stay with me. Be a part of our lives.”
“You know that I cannot do that.”
She stared at him in frustration. “Then you don’t really love me.”
His rough sigh echoed in the silent room. “Yes, I do, more than you will ever know. But that does not change my situation.”
“It could if you wanted it to.”
“If only that were true.” He guided her to the edge of the bed and seated her next to his side, then took her hands into his. “I also love our son, which is why I have decided that he need never know I am his father.”
Exactly what she’d feared. “But what about when you come back?”
He glanced away but not before revealing an abiding sadness in his stoic expression. “I will not be coming back.”
Andi’s heart started another descent. “But you have to come back. Chance needs you. I need you.”
“You need to resume your life without me. You need to find someone who will care for you and our son. Someone who is deserving of your love.”
“I don’t want anyone but you,” she said, warm tears now raining down her cheeks in a stream of sorrow.
“You say that now, but you will change your mind once I am gone.”
He pulled her tightly into his strong arms. If only Andi could absorb some of that strength. If only she could have foreseen where this would lead. In reality she’d known all along what would happen, that he would leave her again, but she had chosen to believe that somehow, some way, it would be different this time. That he might actually change his mind, that she would change his mind. How foolish she’d been.
She had no choice but to claim the sadness, to accept defeat. But she didn’t know how to accept his leaving. “I don’t know how to let you go.”
“You must.”
She raised her head and looked at him straight-on, determined to try one more time to make him see things her way. “Even if you give up your wealth, your status, just look at what you’d be getting in return.”
“How well I know this.”
“Then why does it have to be this way? Why do you have to go? Why? And what is it you’re not telling me?”
He remained silent for a moment before drawing in a deep, cleansing breath. “I am to marry another.”
Chapter Nine
Sam had been prepared for Andrea’s shock over his sudden announcement. He had not been prepared for the seething anger boiling beneath the surface of her calm facade, apparent from the narrowing of her blue eyes.
“And you’ve known this all along?” Her tone was surprisingly controlled.
Sam wished she would shout at him. He deserved her hostility, her fury. “Yes, I have, but I must explain what this involves.”
She bolted from the bed, away from him. “You are damned right you must explain.”
He knew not where to begin, since there seemed to be no excuse for his behavior. “This marriage is an arrangement and nothing more. The details are to be finalized when I return. But rest assured, I do not love her, Andrea.”
She wrapped her arms about her middle. “Well, great. That makes me feel a whole lot better.”
“I have also decided that I will discuss this marriage with my father on my return. I am considering not going through with it.”
She glared at him. “Bully for you.”
How could he get through to her? How could he convince her that his heart was solely in her possession? He rose and clasped her slender arms. “I’ve decided I cannot live that lie, Andrea, not with what I’ve found with you. Maila is a good woman, and like you she deserves a man who can give all of himself to her.”
“When did you figure this out, Sheikh Yaman? Before or after you had sex with me?”
Anger roiled within Sam. “I made love to you, Andrea, and if you recall, at your insistence. I have always been weak in your presence. Always. I have never been able to resist you from the moment that Paul brought me here.”
“So it’s my fault that you cheated on your fiancée, is it?”
“It is my fault for not being a stronger man.”
“So answer this,” she said sternly. “If you’re getting out of this marriage, then why can’t you be with us?”
“Must I remind you again about my status?”
She took a few more steps away from him. “Heavens, no. If I hear that one more time, I’ll scream. But it seems to me that you just don’t get it. All the finest things in the world will never replace love, Sam. Your son’s love. My love. But if your riches and your title mean so much to you, then you’re right, it’s better that you leave for good.”
With that, she started for the door. Sam quickly came to his feet. “I beg you Andrea, please stay. Let us take this time to talk things through, to be with each other. This last night will be all that we ever have.”
Slowly she turned to face him. “No, Sam, I won’t. I’m letting you go, starting now.”
Andrea realized there had been a lot of truth in Sam’s words the night before. She had been the one to entice him. She had insisted they make love. Yet he had refused to tell her about his impending marriage, and that not only stung but it angered her, as well.
All that wounded pride and horrible hurt had prevented her from spending more time with him, making more memories. In some ways she’d regretted that decision, but no matter how hard it had been to walk away, she had known that she would only have more trouble seeing him off this morning.
Obviously she had been wrong to trust him. Maybe he didn’t really love her. Maybe in reality he viewed her only as a convenience. But he had made love to her so sweetly, and he had told her that he loved her. Regardless of her anger, her pride, the horrible hurt stinging her heart, the betrayal, she would never forget the time she’d spent with him. And she still didn’t love him any less, as foolish as that seemed.
She would also never forget the scene playing out before her at the moment. Chance was standing near the hood of the limo, and Sam was crouched down at his level, preparing to say goodbye. They spoke softly and Andrea strained to hear Sam’s parting words. When she couldn’t quite make them out, she moved a little closer.
“You must promise me that you will take care of your mother.”
“Okay,” Chance said reluctantly.
“And you must promise me to take care of Sunny now that she is yours. She’s a fine filly, and I trust that you will watch out for her.”
Chance frowned. “Will you tell Mama to let me ride her sometime?”
“I’m sure she will allow it once the time is right.”
They both remained silent for a moment before Sam laid his palm on Chance’s thin shoulder. “Be proud of who you are.”
“I am. I’m gonna tell my friends about your country, that it’s not just all sand, and that the people are nice and look sort of like me.”
Sam attempted a weak smile before his expression turned somber once more. “And most important, you must remember that no matter where he is, or what he is doing, your father will always love you.”
Andi looked away before her son could glimpse her tears.
“How do you know that?” Chance asked.
“Because I know you. He would be very proud to have such a strong, wise boy.”
Andi forced herself to look at father and son once more, to remember.
After a moment’s hesitation, Chance drew Sam into an awkward hug and said, “I love you, Sam, like you’re my dad.”
Andi’s heart completely shattered in that moment, and she wanted desperately to reveal that Sam was, in fact, her son’s father. But if Sam had no intention of returning, then it would serve no purpose but to confuse Chance even more. Yet deep down she wondered if on some level Chance did know the truth. Regardless, it would be up to her to provide a happy home, to take care of his needs, and to answer his questions when they happened to come. She also hoped that someday she could love again, find a good father for Chance, although that seemed impossible at the moment.
“Time for breakfast, Little Bit,” Tess called from the back door.
Chance headed off at a sprint but stopped and pointed at the limo. “One day I’m gonna get me one of those.”
Sam laughed then, a rich deep laugh that Andi would take to memory to add to the rest.
Once Chance was safely inside, Andi approached Sam with tentative steps. “Guess it’s time for you to go, huh?”
He surveyed her face a long moment then bracketed her cheeks in his palms. “Take care, Andrea.”
“I’m going to be fine, Sam. We’re all going to be fine.” She said the words with false bravado, determined to act as though she would survive his departure. And she would, even if it took years to get over him.
“I will have my banker send you the information on Chance’s trust. I will see that all yours and Chance’s financial needs are met.”
But not the one need she desired the most, to have him in her life permanently. “I appreciate that.”
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