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The Impossible Vastness Of Us
Samantha Young
I know how to watch my back. I'm the only one that ever has.India Maxwell hasn't just moved across the country—she's plummeted to the bottom rung of the social ladder. It's taken years to cover the mess of her home life with a veneer of popularity. Now she's living in one of Boston's wealthiest neighbourhoods with her mom's fiancé and his daughter, Eloise. Thanks to her soon-to-be stepsister's clique of friends, including Eloise's gorgeous, arrogant boyfriend, Finn, India feels like the one thing she hoped never to be seen as again: trash.But India's not alone in struggling to control the secrets of her past. Eloise and Finn, the school's golden couple, aren't all they seem to be. In fact, everyone's life is infinitely more complex than it first appears. And as India grows closer to Finn and befriends Eloise, threatening the facades that hold them together, what's left are truths that are brutal, beautiful and big enough to change them forever…From New York Times bestselling author Samantha Young comes a story of friendship, identity and acceptance that will break your heart—and make it whole again.
“I know how to watch my back. I’m the only one that ever has.”
India Maxwell hasn’t just moved across the country—she’s plummeted to the bottom rung of the social ladder. It’s taken years to cover the mess of her home life with a veneer of popularity. Now she’s living in one of Boston’s wealthiest neighborhoods with her mom’s fiancé and his daughter, Eloise. Thanks to her soon-to-be stepsister’s clique of friends, including Eloise’s gorgeous, arrogant boyfriend, Finn, India feels like the one thing she hoped never to be seen as again: trash.
But India’s not alone in struggling to control the secrets of her past. Eloise and Finn, the school’s golden couple, aren’t all they seem to be. In fact, everyone’s life is infinitely more complex than it first appears. And as India grows closer to Finn and befriends Eloise, threatening the facades that hold them together, what’s left are truths that are brutal, beautiful and big enough to change them forever...
From New York Times bestselling author Samantha Young comes a story of friendship, identity and acceptance that will break your heart—and make it whole again.
The Impossible Vastness of Us
Samantha Young
“What is it you’re hiding?” I asked.
“I can’t tell you. Please just trust me.”
Hurt swept through me
but I tamped it down. It wasn’t
my place to demand Finn’s secrets.
My frustration was suddenly
mirrored in his eyes.
“I wish things were different.”
But they weren’t.
I didn’t know if I was angry
at Finn or just angry that nothing
ever seemed to be easy for me.
Everything was always a fight...
SAMANTHA YOUNG is a New York Times bestselling author who resides in Scotland. Her novels have been published in thirty countries. When Samantha’s not writing books, she’s reading them. Or she’s shoe shopping.
For my amazing agent, Lauren Abramo.
You were my very wise guide on this journey.
It is a tale that would have been quite different without you.
Thank you, my friend.
Contents
Cover (#u721c5a3f-2eb5-564e-b204-dcf49f87b600)
Back Cover Text (#u0ec9ac4d-2dad-5150-99d0-8db8602c01a0)
Title Page (#uf369207b-9ccb-5ee2-b47c-cf300e97562f)
Introduction (#u86e9dfb6-e7da-5f47-88b9-90ba32e7ea1d)
About the Author (#ua7c5af38-37a3-55a0-bfb4-d6c9a3b487fb)
Dedication (#u9089a2e2-e591-5e00-9ba2-b19e0f75b97c)
CHAPTER 1 (#ub2523766-1ecd-5448-b593-4399f2183656)
CHAPTER 2 (#ub470da9b-c651-5048-abe7-9920a3cefdea)
CHAPTER 3 (#udf090f1f-689d-5227-8c13-4eb8a999dc52)
CHAPTER 4 (#uad74d753-34b9-52f7-87b3-6493ed41356e)
CHAPTER 5 (#ucddb02b5-b21c-5e03-b237-18d3d84460ab)
CHAPTER 6 (#ub1a7e30e-4400-58c4-ba82-c484c7f63703)
CHAPTER 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 16 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 17 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 18 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 19 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 20 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 21 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 22 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 23 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 24 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 25 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 26 (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 27 (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER 1 (#u2e87e5b1-71a8-500a-9100-9d4ffe3b0fe2)
“AND WHAT IS THIS?”
Jay and I broke apart from our kiss to find Hayley standing in the doorway. She stood looking young and attractive in her black-and-gold flight attendant uniform, glaring at us.
Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a severe bun that only accentuated her high cheekbones and big dark eyes. Hayley was really pretty and I’d been told I looked a lot like her. Except for the eyes. I had his eyes. People told me all the time how amazing my eyes were. I would have given anything for Hayley’s eyes.
I knew without a doubt that my looks were one of the reasons Jay James couldn’t quite give up on trying to get into my pants. Not that I was cynical or anything.
Jay was a year older than me, smart, but a total bad boy. Tattoos, check. Piercings, check. Motorcycle, check. Every girl in my school wanted a piece of him and for whatever reason he liked me.
We had been making out on my couch for about ten minutes. Jay had nice lips and I’d hoped that when he kissed me I’d feel something other than the wet touch of mouth and tongue against mouth and tongue.
The romance novels I’d found stashed in Hayley’s closet said I was supposed to feel all hot and tingly.
Kissing was supposed to be exciting.
I didn’t find it all that exciting. “Nice” was about as good as kissing had gotten for me. And as always my mind wandered due to the lack of excitement. This time it had wandered to Hayley. She was up to something. I knew it. As a flight attendant she was away a lot, but her trips were longer than usual. She was also acting weird and shifty, hiding her phone from me when it buzzed with a notification, and having whispered conversations in her bedroom. Something was up. I just hoped that something wasn’t a guy.
It was like my wayward thoughts had conjured her.
“This is Jay,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance at the stern look on her face.
I hated when she acted like she gave a crap.
“I don’t care who he is.” Hayley tried to fry his ass with her eyes. “You can leave.”
Jay stared back at her with as much defiance as I did, making me like him more. He turned to me and pressed a slow, intimate kiss to the corner of my mouth. “See you at school, babe.”
He laughed at the mischief in my eyes.
I waited until he’d brushed by Hayley without a word and I heard the front door close behind him. “Nice. Thanks.”
Hayley’s dark eyes narrowed into slits. “Don’t talk to me like that. I’m tired, it’s been a long day and now I come home and find my daughter being mauled by some walking hormone. Am I supposed to be happy that you’re dating some guy who looks like he’s seen the inside of prison more than once?”
“We’re not dating. We’re just fooling around.”
“Oh, well, then, why am I so upset?” She threw her hands up in exasperation.
“Hayley.”
She flinched, like she always flinched when I called her by her name (so she flinched a lot). “Don’t ‘Hayley’ me. I have a right to be upset about this.”
“Don’t be. I’m not serious about him. And I’m not getting pregnant. Anyway, you’re home early.”
“They put me on a shorter flight.” She dumped her purse on the couch as she moved farther into the room. “We’ll discuss Jay later. I need to tell you something.”
I tensed. “Yeah?”
She stared pensively at me for a few seconds before finally taking a seat by my side. “I’ve met someone.”
Dread instantly filled me.
Scrutinizing me for a reaction and getting none, Hayley smiled reassuringly. “He’s wonderful. His name is Theo and he has a daughter who’s actually your age. He lives in Boston. We met on one of my flights out there.”
My stomach churned. “How long?”
“Several months ago.”
“I knew something was going on,” I muttered.
“I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long... I just wanted to make sure it was real between us.”
“And is it?”
“Very much so. We’ve fallen in love.”
“That’s some long-distance relationship.”
“I stay with him when I fly out there. I see him as often as possible.”
I snorted. “And you think he’s faithful all the times you’re not around?”
