Heart to Heart

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I was becoming more concerned about his long absences, but talking to your own animals isn’t always easy. I thought I could use my new skill to keep tabs on him, but he had other plans.

On one of his absent days I reached out to ask him, ‘Where are you?’

He replied, ‘On important cat business.’

‘What do you mean, “important cat business”? Where are you?’ I said.

‘None of your business,’ he replied, completely self-assured.

After that I tried to connect with him on a visual level to look out of his eyes to establish where he was. He blocked the connection. He simply wouldn’t let me in.

The extended absences carried on for another week and I continued to try and find out what he was up to, but the answer was always the same: ‘I’m on important cat business.’ When he returned he wasn’t asking for food in his usual demanding way and I became suspicious he was dining elsewhere. The biggest giveaway was the tell-tale scent – he kept coming home smelling of another woman’s perfume!

‘I know you’re moonlighting with another woman,’ I said to him. ‘I can smell her perfume on you.’

Texas just carried on as though we were talking about the weather. He wasn’t fussed.

My suspicions were justified one day when I received a call from a soft-voiced woman. ‘Hello, I’ve just got your number from your cat’s tag. He’s ginger?’ she said.

‘Yes, that’s him,’ I confirmed.

‘I’ve been seeing him around here a lot lately and wondered whether you knew he was here.’

‘No, I didn’t know,’ I said. ‘I knew he was going somewhere and I’ve been trying to find out where it was. Is he with you now?’

‘He was a minute ago. I’ll just go back outside and have a look.’ She disappeared from the phone and a moment later was back. ‘He’s right outside,’ she said.

‘I’ll come straight over,’ I said, and she told me her street and house number.

I raced round to meet her, and wouldn’t you know it, there was Texas looking like the cat that had got the cream. I picked him up and then the lady invited me inside to tell me what she’d noticed. She revealed she’d been seeing Texas going in and out of her neighbour’s large ground-floor window. As a cat lover with a feline companion of her own, she knew the unwritten rule – you don’t feed other people’s cats – and she decided to bring this to the attention of her neighbour, who in return became suspiciously non-committal. I thanked her for kindly giving me the heads up and I carried Texas home.

When he went missing the next evening I went straight round to the street and called him. I walked up and down the houses and eventually found him in a garden close to the house with the large window. I carried him home again and fed him. ‘Please come home at night,’ I said. He smiled, purred and ate his tuna supper.

The next evening it happened again and I went calling for him as loudly as is possible at 11 o’clock at night without waking up the whole street. He wasn’t homeless, he wasn’t a stray, I wasn’t on holiday. In fact, he was the most loved cat on the planet – in my opinion – albeit an unashamedly passionate food hunter, preferring the easy to catch version that came in a dish.

My cries must have been heard, as the window remained shut for the following few days and Texas fell back into his normal routine and was now home at night.

This led me to understand that we’re only in the position of guardians to animals. We don’t own them and it’s certainly not a good idea to expect them to do things against their will. We can only communicate with them as far as they will let us. They will always have their own agenda and their own free will.

This wasn’t the first time Texas had gone on an adventure. In fact, moonlighting was in his blood. Ever since he’d run out of his cage at Battersea Dogs’ Home and pressed his stunning golden fur against my legs, I’d been charmed. But I wasn’t the only one. He’s continued to charm women ever since, and now he’s nine, so that’s quite a bit of charming.

The first to join his harem were two young career women who lived in the ground-floor flat two doors down. Texas soon worked out they had fallen for him and he came up with an idea that would make his life easier. He would sit on the window ledge at the front of their flat and call out to them. Within moments the front door would open and he’d jump down and walk inside, bold and fearless. He’d walk down their hallway until he reached their back door. Standing still, he’d give another command to open the back door, and when it was open he’d walk straight out. All he had to do now was shimmy through to the next garden and climb up the rear fire escape and he’d be in his cat flap. That short cut saved him at least 10 minutes of ‘pointless’ effort going all the way down the street, avoiding dogs, feet and cars, cutting through the busy alley and finally making his way carefully across other cats’ gardens until he eventually reached mine. Soon he got wise that it could work the other way too. He’d call out at their back door, walk down the hall and then wait for them to open the front door. He had them twisted round his ivory-white whiskers.

It was quite a long time before one of the girls admitted what Texas was up to. He’d kept his little secret for at least six months. I was told he’d occasionally divert from his usual plan and go into one of their bedrooms to lie on their bed, where, of course, he’d receive much love and admiration. This was the first time he came home smelling of another woman’s perfume; he was only 12 months old.

I liked and trusted these women and thought Texas’s short cut was a stroke of genius, so I laughed along with them and Texas continued to use their home as his short cut and rest stop for the next three years until we moved from the area.

At a different time I saw another example of Texas’ free will. I was standing in the kitchen of my first-floor flat, hands in the washing-up bowl, looking out of the window to the first-floor flat opposite, when I had to look twice. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was Texas curled up asleep on the bed. It was summer and their back door was open, so he’d just wandered up their fire escape and found himself somewhere soft to sleep. I banged on the window, calling his name. He looked up from his pillow and chose to ignore me.

It appeared he felt he owned all the flats around us, because another time I saw him on the sofa of the downstairs flat. They’d left one of their windows open. There now numbered four flats in his portfolio.

So what I’ve learned over the years is that Texas is a free spirit. Animals are masters in their own right and you can’t keep tabs on them just because you can talk to them. It’s not possible to control them or tell them what to do. Texas is his own cat and he makes no apology for that. It’s one of the qualities I absolutely love about him.

I have also come to terms with the necessity to swallow my pride and admit I’m not the only woman in his life, although I console myself knowing our hearts are as one. He also now adores Jennie, who comes and looks after him when I’m away. He’s always waiting for her on the doorstep as her car pulls up, whatever time of day it is, and he curls up on her lap while she watches TV. He liked the little old lady down the road when she was buying in cat food especially for him, even though it had been a long time since she’d lived with a cat. He loved the two career women in the ground-floor flat who understood their hallway was also his right of way and they were his gatekeepers. And he loved having more than one soft place to rest his weary ginger head.

What I’ve also realized is that cats are clever and able to manipulate things to their own advantage. For example, instead of using animal communication to do something I wanted, Texas soon used it to get me to do something he wanted. It was the middle of the night when it happened and I was sound asleep. Then I woke, bolt upright. I had heard Texas call out to me in my dream. I have hearing that’s finely tuned to his tone of meow, just as a mother can distinguish between the cries of her child and other children. Then I received an image in my mind and I knew he was at the front door. Like a zombie, still half asleep, I immediately knew what he wanted and stumbled down the stairs. I unlocked the door and pulled it open. In trotted Texas, a little late for his mutually agreed curfew. ‘Purrutt,’ he said in thanks, as he pushed himself into my legs.

When I communicate with cats I know I have to be extra careful, because they often only say what they want you to hear. They sometimes withhold the truth altogether, whereas I find dogs are much more honest and generally say it how it is. They are much more reliable that way.

Texas hasn’t stopped courting women, of any age. The three-year-old Spanish girl next door is absolutely crazy about him. She always stops, points to him through the eye-level gap in my front gate and tells her mother, ‘Meow meow, meow meow,’ as her face lights up and she grins from ear to ear. Texas sits soaking up the admiration – he adores his fans.

CHAPTER 4 (#ulink_8a019ad1-1b08-55f6-9640-a892fbf563a9)

Finding Conviction (#ulink_8a019ad1-1b08-55f6-9640-a892fbf563a9)

WHAT IF YOU begin to receive information directly from an animal? Maybe you suddenly start to hear your own animals at home. Or you receive a wave of emotional joy when you casually ask your friend’s cat what kind of day she’s having. What do you do?

In the books I’d gathered round me like a comforting blanket, I kept reading the word ‘psychic’, and while this had never been mentioned as the method of animal communication in the workshops I’d attended, it was obviously very relevant. I needed to know what ‘being psychic’ and ‘psychic communication’ involved, and in my search I came across the College of Psychic Studies, so I signed up for the Foundation Programme.

The College of Psychic Studies is located in the trendy and expensive borough of Chelsea and Kensington. It is hidden within a cleverly disguised four-storey Georgian building set within a long terrace of private homes, only a couple of gigantic Tyrannosaurus strides away from the Natural History Museum. It was originally founded in 1884 by a small group of people, including some notable scientists and dignitaries of the clergy, who were there primarily to investigate psychic and mediumistic phenomena, a popular subject even back in the Victorian era.

One of the early founders was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a physician who became renowned for his Sherlock Holmes series. In the late 1800s, Sir Arthur joined the Society for Psychical Research (SPR) and carried out experiments with a woman called Mrs Ball. Evidence from these experiments convinced him that telepathy was genuine and he dedicated the next 30 years to further studies and investigations and wrote 14 books on psychic matters, including his most substantial one, The History of Spiritualism.

When I looked at the college brochure, I was drawn to one particular class called ‘Psychic Unfoldment’, led by Avril Price. I’d never heard of her before, but I liked her down-to-earth humour when we spoke over the phone and her class sounded interesting because it covered a huge range of psychic skills, including psychometry, reading auras and mediumship.

I was feeling apprehensive as I walked from the crisp spring air through the dark blue main door and into the building. I tried to look relaxed as I waited for the receptionist to point me in the right direction. Behind me on the walls were large gold-framed oil paintings with the names of respected psychic scholars, scientists and clergy dating back over the last century. I liked the fact that I was walking amongst history – it somehow felt more authentic.

Up until this point I had thought all psychics were like Mystic Meg – gypsy types with a crystal ball – and I felt distrustful of this age-worn image. Even now when I receive small flyers through my letterbox from psychics advertising they can resolve my emotional life or eliminate past-life karma, I throw them straight into the recycling bin.

So when I met Avril, my psychic teacher, I was gobsmacked. Gone was the kooky, mystical fortune-teller with long curling fingernails, gold hoop earrings and crystal ball in tow, and in stepped the Jo Brand equivalent. She was normal and she had that dry, satirical sense of humour on which the English comedienne has made her reputation. I thought she was fabulous!

Over the next eight weeks she led me through the unfolding of my own psychic ability. Crikey! In the beginning I didn’t even know what being ‘grounded’ meant. Though it was a term I’d often heard used at the animal communication workshops, I still thought it was something that would happen to me if I were discovered doing something naughty, just like at school. I felt lucky to have been drawn to Avril from the many teachers at the college. I could connect with her down-to-earth non-threatening approach and the way she made psychic development both fun and accessible. In a world that could be considered scary or fairy-like, I had found someone who was neither.

After this first class Avril let me move straight up to the next level, Psychic Development at Intermediate/Advanced Level. During this second term I wanted to push myself, to go beyond my comfort zone. It was a place of learning after all, so there was no better place to try something new. I signed up for the Platform in Mediumship, where I’d be expected to bring concrete evidence and comfort through from those in the spirit world.

One evening, in front of 150 students and friends of the college packed to the walls, I stood on the platform at the front and prayed the spirit of someone would come through to give me a message to pass on to someone in the audience. I was quietly hoping an animal would come through, but in fact it was a man who contacted me from the Other Side with a message for his grandson. All through the delivery of the message, my legs were quaking. I was certain everyone could see how nervous and scared I felt. Despite this, the message was clear and the grandson understood it and was grateful to hear from his grandfather. I can now admit this was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life, but it did help me enormously. I feel the only way we can gain confidence is by pushing ourselves further than is comfortable. In this way we can grow.

At about the same time I also trained in Reiki, the energy system created by Mikao Usui for self-healing, self-development and spiritual development. I began with Reiki level 1. I was hungry for what Reiki was giving me: deep relaxation and a sense of bliss. About three months later, I trained to practitioner level 2. I found making this connection with energy was a good foundation for subtler energy work with animals. It also made me more receptive as a conduit for energy and I developed more sensitivity in my hands. Reiki attunements restore connections to higher energies, the Source, God – call it whichever is most comfortable for you. Personally, I find the word ‘God’ tricky, as I had a completely non-religious upbringing and still consider myself non-religious, but I do now believe in a higher source or divine energy which we can all draw on for answers and support.

I definitely feel Reiki has enhanced my work and it has also taught me the importance of breath and of intention. Breath can help increase healing and, as the saying goes, ‘Where intention goes, energy flows.’ As an animal communicator I now work with the breath and my intention – using my breath to calm my nervous system and relax my body, and my intention to remain neutral and work for the highest good of the animal.

After several months of spiritual development, in the summer I felt drawn to attend another animal communication workshop.

The Animals’ Ambassador

The first time I saw Amelia Kinkade she was gliding past me in a long, sparkling, deep purple cloak and high heels. She was as American as a lady from Los Angeles could be; she had that look: slim, toned, tanned and highly polished, with cascading curly blonde hair. She was beautiful.

At that time Amelia was a professional animal communicator with over a decade’s experience. She was teaching all over the world and had her first book in the shops, Straight from the Horse’s Mouth. It was the best book on animal communication I’d ever read – and I’d read a few. The stories were incredible, hilarious and deeply moving. After I’d read it and discovered Amelia was coming to teach in England, I had another intuitive feeling – I knew I wanted to meet her. That is how in the summer of 2005 I came to be sitting in the dining room of ‘Brightlife’, a beautiful Georgian mansion dedicated to enlightenment and rejuvenation, on the TT motorcycle-racing Isle of Man.

On a Friday evening, two dozen or so people were sitting inside a function room with a wall of windows overlooking a field full of munching sheep. Amelia introduced the theory behind animal communication and its connection with science and quantum physics. She began by telling us that everything is energy. Human beings are energy, plants are energy and animals are energy. All this energy is connected on the most gargantuan spider’s web, a 3D picture which spreads out in every direction throughout the universe. Amelia called this ‘the Zero Point Energy Field’. She went on to elaborate that quantum physicists now tell us that every living being and physical object has a resonant holographic image logged on to the spider’s web (Zero Point Energy Field). This image is called a quantum hologram. This theory means you have a hologram, I have a hologram and so do our animals. All of us are connected, because our holograms are attached on the web, despite the fact that you are sitting there and I am sitting here.

As Amelia spoke about the harmony of science and psychic connection, it dawned on me that she was in a completely different league from the other teachers I’d met. Her understanding of animal communication was immense. When I witnessed her own ability to talk to animals and her deep heartfelt love of them, it gave me cause to feel inspired. I could see just how far you could take this ability and I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me. Amelia was setting the standard for animal communicators everywhere. She was then, and would remain, a huge source of inspiration to me, as well as hundreds of other devoted animal lovers across the globe, a role model for professional animal communicators and an ambassador for animals.

After the in-depth and brain-expanding explanation of animal communication, we were invited to try our first communication with a little white and tan terrier. His guardian had brought him in for us to communicate with and he stayed for the next 40 minutes. This was the first workshop I’d attended where a ‘real live animal’ came to help us practice – an animal guest-teacher.

The first question Amelia wanted us to ask him was: ‘What’s his favourite food?’ She told us to imagine sending an empty food bowl to him using a picture in our mind’s eye and asking him to fill it with his favourite food then return it to us.

By this time I had already attended four animal communication workshops, I knew how to make a connection with an animal and how to ask questions. This should have been puppy-play for me. However, all I felt was blank. It was as if an empty void had washed over me. I couldn’t connect. I couldn’t receive the answers. But the most disastrous feeling of all was the nothingness. I desperately tried to feel an emotional connection with the cute little dog who had taken a liking to my trousers and had begun licking them in earnest. Despite his joyful distraction, I felt numb. My heart felt closed.

After a couple of minutes’ silence, Amelia asked, ‘What did you get?’

‘Nothing,’ I replied.

She continued around the room hearing what everyone else had either seen or heard.

The second question was: ‘What about his favourite activity?’

‘What have you got?’ she cajoled.

‘Nothing,’ I said despondently.

‘Nothing at all?’

‘No, nothing.’ I found myself shrinking into my chair as everyone’s eyes fell upon me.

‘Can you see what his bed is like?’ Amelia encouraged.

‘No,’ I replied uncomfortably. I felt worse and worse. With each question I felt another nail being driven into my complete lack of ability. I had lost it. The special connection had gone.

Amelia looked at me, confused, ‘Did you receive anything?’ It was as though she could tell something wasn’t quite right and that this was new for me.

‘Nothing, nothing at all.’

I wanted to run – run away from the knowledge that I couldn’t communicate with animals anymore. The wonderful ability I had discovered just six months earlier had vanished for good.

Back at my guesthouse, I fell into a deep dark despair. I went to bed feeling as though I couldn’t speak about this to any of the other students and ended up tossing and turning all night.

The next day I tried to start afresh and entered the workshop room with positive thoughts. But when we began to practice our communication skills again, I struggled whilst most of the people around me seemed to find it effortless. They appeared to communicate with dogs and cats as if they’d been doing it all their life. But for me, it was another disappointing day.

Over supper that evening I had the good fortune to sit next to a talented animal communicator called Yvette Knight. She had been having amazingly accurate communications all day.

‘How are you doing?’ she asked me.

‘Not good,’ I admitted.

‘Oh, really? Why’s that?’ she asked, genuinely interested.

‘I just can’t feel anything – anything at all.’

I went on to tell her of an animal communication workshop earlier in the year, where I’d chosen to believe someone else rather than trust my own inner voice. Understandably, this had the result of completely undermining my confidence in my ability as an effective animal communicator.

‘I feel as though my heart has shut down,’ I told her.

Now Yvette is a belly dancer of gladiator proportions, with long blonde hair and the wit to disarm even the smartest of opponents. Shy and retiring, she is not. So she was very empathetic and for a while simply listened, which was just what I needed – then she came out with a few hand-picked expletives and I felt a bit better for sharing my feelings.

Jupiter’s Magic

Sunday morning arrived, along with the last two sessions before my flight back to London. Yvette was having breakfast at a private table with Amelia, so I joined some women on the grand dining table and earwigged an interesting conversation about shamanism. It seemed that the basic principle of shamanism was the belief that everything is alive and has a spirit, and shamans try to live in harmony with the Earth and animals.

An hour later, the students and I were sitting in an oval-shaped pattern around the edge of the lecture room anticipating Amelia’s arrival. She walked in as though she meant business and launched into the importance of staying centred and grounded within your own power. She wasn’t talking about a masculine, dominating, controlling power, but that internal power all of us have as part of our individual birthright, the power that keeps us strong and protected. As she spoke, it felt as though everyone else disappeared and the room descended into silence until all I heard were her words. Although she didn’t look my way, I felt she had crafted her speech just for me. She spoke at length and then ended with a short summary.

‘Don’t ever give your power away,’ she said. ‘You must keep it close, because there are those who will try to take it from you. Don’t let them.’

Easier said than done, I thought, but it immediately struck a chord, and I remembered my feelings of emptiness when someone had implied I should not trust my own intuition, my own gut feelings.

The air was cool, but the sun was shining upon us as we walked outside with our notepads and pens to meet our first animal guest teacher of the morning. In the centre of the courtyard stood a tall dark horse called Jupiter. He appeared very calm and very proud. After a disastrous day and a half, I didn’t have high hopes, but I tried to communicate with him anyway.

Within seconds of looking into Jupiter’s deep chocolate eyes, my chest started to rise and fall as my breathing became deeper and more demanding. I began to feel an overwhelming rush of love from him that seemed to cloak my entire body. My legs were shaking, overcome by this sudden surge of emotion. Worried that I was about to make a right fool of myself in front of everyone, I made a hasty retreat from the group to the side of the building behind us. Tears were pouring down my face as I tried to compose myself, struggling to control my breathing and desperately trying not to sob out loud in front of this group of relative strangers.

Whenever I looked at Jupiter to ask him one of the questions from Amelia, I felt another wave of love washing over me, soaking into every pore of my skin and reaching deep inside my heart. His love was so strong it might be compared to the love that pours out of your heart when welcoming your first newborn into the world or to the power of Niagara Falls. His love was instinctual, all-encompassing and utterly powerful. Jupiter was blasting my heart wide open and enabling me to connect with my emotions.

At that moment, I vowed never to give my power away again. I will always be hugely grateful to this magnificent horse who managed to see straight through to the core of me. He tuned into me, even when I was unable to tune into him, and he helped me in the exact way I needed, by opening my heart connection. Later I’d learn that this could also be called heart chakra healing. Horses seem to have an extraordinary talent in this arena.

After this immensely healing experience with Jupiter, my communications with animals went from strength to strength. I could sense an emotional connection with them, whether they were sad, happy, grieving, joyful or confused. With my heart reawakened, I could understand any emotion they were feeling and this enabled me to connect with them on a deeper level. It helped me on a personal level, too, because now I was able to ascertain whether I was truly connected to an animal or just making it up.

As I left the island I felt more experienced, inspired and whole again. In just one weekend, Amelia and Jupiter had managed to put me right back on track.

It wasn’t until I was flying through the clouds over the Irish Sea that I remembered that my zodiac sign’s ruling planet happens to be Jupiter, and I wondered whether this was merely coincidence or a strange twist of fate. As someone born under the sign of Sagittarius, my zodiac symbol is a hybrid of half human above and half horse below – maybe this was a sign of synchronicity.

CHAPTER 5 (#ulink_16dc30e3-8977-59a3-b08d-358772e47608)

Opening the Door of Opportunity (#ulink_16dc30e3-8977-59a3-b08d-358772e47608)

VERY EARLY ON in my animal communication experience I was drawn to two dogs, Mono and Riki. I discovered both of these animals in January 2006, when there were pleas on their behalf on separate web forums where I had membership. Each time an impulse made me want to contact their guardians to volunteer my services as an animal communicator. It turned out eventually that I wasn’t solely helping the dogs, they were also helping me, as if fate, or the universe, had brought us together for a reason. They taught me a lot about ill-health and positive attitude and were instrumental in building my confidence as an effective animal communicator. More on Riki later, but first let me tell you about Mono.