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“I love to dance. I do both ballet and jazz, but it’s going to be difficult now.”
“Why?” he probed.
“Well, for one thing, my dance company is in Cincinnati, and that means I’ll have a two-hour-long drive each way if I continue, which would be near impossible with my dad’s schedule at the hospital. And there aren’t any studios of the caliber that I’m at around here,” I said, spreading my arms wide at the stalks around us.
Just saying the words out loud dampened my mood—how I’d miss dancing.
“What do you wear when you dance?” he asked with a scary intensity, his eyes never leaving my face.
With that question, I was starting to get the gist of his troubled look, but I decided to answer honestly anyway. “I wear leotards, stretch shorts and tights to practice in and dance costumes for the performances.” I looked right at him, daring him to say something bad about it.
“Are you comfortable being in front of all those people with so few clothes on?” He asked it in a guarded way, as if he was trying to be as polite as possible.
With a soft laugh, I said, “Everything important is covered up, and yes, I’m very comfortable with it. I’ve always been a bit of an extrovert, and dance is a form of artistry, Noah. People aren’t looking at my body. They’re watching me dance.”
“Yeah, I bet they are,” he said sarcastically.
I squeezed my lips together tightly, trying to control the anger that was rising in me. With a small breath and an attempt to keep the sound of my voice level, I said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Did you know that the Amish don’t dance?” When I lifted my eyebrows at his interruption, he continued, “The elders believe dancing is very sensual and that it gives young people ideas about…things.” He waited for my reply with his eyes slightly narrowed, obviously expecting an argument.
I was going to control myself, though. I’d already decided hours ago that I wasn’t going to be too judgmental about his way of life. It would be hard, though.
“Well, that’s too bad for you all. Dancing is wonderful. It’s a way to express myself and be athletic. And the music…” After a pause, I added, “The music really is the heart of it all. Is it true you don’t listen to any music?”
“We’re not supposed to, but sometimes we do.” He shrugged. “Usually when we ride in a car, we listen to what the English driver has on the radio.”
Our legs were still rubbing as we walked down the lane, and the bothersome fluttering in my stomach and beating of my heart were causing my brain to turn to mush under the physical bombardment. But still I managed to find the brain function to know that I didn’t comprehend the last part of what he’d said.
Confused, I asked, “What do you mean English?”
With a quick glance back at me, as if he was disclosing an embarrassing secret, he said in an even tone, “Just not Amish.”
“You mean that I’m considered English to you?” I asked, incredulous.
“Yep—it doesn’t matter where you’re from or what color your skin is. If you’re not Amish, you’re English.” He said it with a surety that I found slightly disturbing.
Looking squarely back at him, I sighed. “Now, let me get this straight. You don’t dance and you aren’t allowed to listen to music, but sometimes you do, and the entire population on the earth is English to you?”
“That’s a bit simplified,” he muttered with an edge to his voice I hadn’t heard yet. I watched him deal with his agitation by running his hand absently through his thick hair, leaving it wonderfully ruffled.
At the second I was admiring his hair, a couple of birds, quail, I think, flew up noisily in front of us with their feathered wings pumping hard to get airborne.
Lady, being true to her spooky nature, shied right into Rumor—hard. Noah reacted quickly, reaching out with his free hand and grasping my arm to steady me on my horse. Not that I really needed the help, but it was a chivalrous thing to do. I certainly didn’t mind the physical contact either.
For a few seconds we just stood there with his hand gripping my arm and Lady trembling beneath me, almost on top of Rumor. Glancing down at his fingers, I bit the corner of my mouth and looked up at his face, which wasn’t very far from mine. Both our legs were being mashed between the horses. I could only speak for myself, but I assumed he was feeling the same pain I was.
Still holding on to to me but with a looser grasp, thank goodness, he asked, “Are you all right, Rose?”
His voice was anxious, and I felt his warm breath touch me when he spoke. I was actually a little faint, and it certainly wasn’t because my stupid horse was afraid of a ten-ounce bird. My breathing quickened, and I waited for him to lean in and kiss me. This was the perfect time and place. Well, besides the fact that our legs were being crushed.
I waited—but nothing. He didn’t do it. Instead, when I couldn’t get my lips to answer him because they were too busy getting ready for a kiss, he released my arm and moved Rumor out a little in front of us with a nettled expression written on his face.
I must have been mistaken about his attraction for me. Feeling suddenly and completely disappointed, I inadvertently sighed too loud, squeezing Lady into a walk.
But before my emotions could play too much havoc with me, he stopped Rumor and waited for me to walk up alongside him. And again our legs were lightly brushing together—a truly wonderful feeling—and I was happy once more. Talk about mood swings.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” He stared straight at me with smoldering eyes, and his voice was low and serious.
That question meant I still had a chance with him, I assumed. I admitted in an equally low and serious voice, “No.”
Watching him closely, I noticed he breathed a little easier, but he still had something on his mind.
Not looking at me this time, he asked tentatively, “Have you ever had…a boyfriend?”
So he wasn’t just worried about a current guy in my life; he was going to obsess about any previous boyfriends, too. That was interesting. Was he the jealous type? I spied at him from the corner of my eye and saw that he was a statue of stone, hardly breathing at all, waiting for my answer.
“No—I’ve never had a boyfriend. You know, too busy with my horse and the dancing…” I trailed off, fidgeting with the laces on my saddle, feeling suddenly awkward explaining to this gorgeous guy why I was sixteen and always single.
The curiosity got to me, though, and I took a little gulp of air and bravely asked, “What about you—do you have a girlfriend?”
Instantly, he relaxed in his saddle and turned to me with a brilliant smile. “No, up until now I hadn’t met the right girl yet.”
My eyes must have bugged out, because he laughed at my expression. Was he insinuating that I was the right girl? His confidence was beginning to irritate me. What made him think that I was automatically available?
Somehow I managed to recover my composure enough to again change the subject to safer territory. “So how did you manage to get away tonight to go riding?” I asked in the calmest, most disinterested voice I could summon from my mouth.
It was so infuriating how a part of me wanted Noah’s lips pressed against mine and the other part was scared to death of what he was doing to my poor body. I kind of had a clue as to which of the battling sides would ultimately win when I glanced back at him, suddenly thinking of Mom’s favorite Western movie. He was sitting straight in the saddle but still relaxed, just like Captain Call from Lonesome Dove. At ease, but ready for a gunfight. There was something very cool about him. Unfortunately, I think he knew it, with the little bit of arrogance he carried around with him. He was looking at me now with a lazy curiosity that was so mesmerizing I couldn’t turn away.
“I try to go for an evening ride occasionally when my work schedule permits. So it wasn’t shocking to Father that I went out tonight.” He removed the flirty look from his face when he said it, but his eyes still seemed to be twinkling.
“Do you normally come out here by yourself?” I had a bunch of good reasons to ask that question, but I hoped he wouldn’t pick up on the main one—that I had turned into a jealous vamp the moment I laid eyes on him. Now I was wondering how many Amish girls he met out here in the cozy cornfields for his joyrides.
The amused smile erupted again on his lips and he made sure to hold my gaze with a steady stare while he answered. “Usually I’m very much alone, but occasionally—” his smile widened to keep me in suspense “—one of my little brothers comes riding with me,” he finished, flashing me his teeth.
I wondered at that second if my face and voice were so transparent that he’d understood why I’d asked that particular question. He certainly seemed to have a clue. The thought that he could read me that well was unsettling. So, even though his answer was a good one and gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling, I still felt insecure in his presence, worried that he’d already figured out that I had a major crush on him.
We rode along quietly for a minute or two, until we finally reached the end of the cornfields. In front of us rose a thick wood that the lane meandered into, disappearing within the dark shade of the trees. It was a fairy wood, full of secrets, and just then, as the sun dipped down in the western sky, a beautiful pinkish-red sunset spread out on the horizon, causing a magical creamy light to settle over the corn.
The air was turning chilly. I shivered once, looking deeper into the trees.
Noah must have seen my uncontrollable shake, and with a resolute voice of authority, he said, “I better get you home. It’s getting late, and it’ll be dark soon.”
I nodded, totally disappointed to be leaving the magical forest behind. We reined the horses around, entering the cornfields once again. And even more disappointing was that he didn’t seem to have any plans to kiss me that night. At least he certainly wasn’t taking advantage of being out here in the middle of nowhere, without a soul to see us. Maybe he’s being gentlemanly, I considered. Or maybe I should take the lead. But then, I’d never kissed anyone, and I’d probably mess it up.
All my friends had been initiated into the world of kissing as preteens, but I’d been different. At the age most girls were learning the dating secrets, I had been more interested in kissing my horse’s velvety nose than swapping spit with a boy. I was also cursed with an overly protective brother, who had regularly threatened to beat up any of the guys who showed an interest in me.
Noah said he hadn’t met the right girl yet. Did that mean he hadn’t kissed before either? For guys that statement could mean any number of things. I found it hard to believe that an eighteen-year-old guy as handsome as Noah hadn’t done a lot of kissing already. Maybe he wasn’t making out with girls in the fields, but he could be sneaking off somewhere else for that sort of thing. The thought bothered me a lot more than I cared to admit, and I was starting to think my brain’s unhealthy obsession with my neighbor was bordering on a fatal attraction.
“So, what are you going to do tonight?” he asked in an upbeat manner, giving the impression of a person without a care in the world.
“Well, my dad is at the hospital and my brothers are seeing a movie, so I’ll probably continue unpacking and organizing stuff,” I said sullenly, still thinking about him and a bunch of imaginary girls.
“Won’t you be afraid in that big old house all by yourself?” he asked playfully.
“No.” I hesitated, wondering how much of my inner soul I should share with him. Feeling an odd comfortableness with him, I decided to be honest and said, “Mom dying was the scariest thing I’ve ever faced. Staying alone in a spooky old house really pales in comparison to that.” I shifted in the saddle to smile ruefully at him.
There was really nothing he could have said to make me feel better. He seemed to know that, and instead he reached out instinctively and took my hand softly in his. His touch caused a warm feeling to spread through my body, leaving me perfectly content and totally shocked at the unexpected gesture.
He smiled at me triumphantly, making my heart melt into a puddle, and his thumb swirling in place on my hand sent goose bumps up my arm. This was a monumental achievement in my life—my first real hand-holding experience. Not trusting the feel of his hand over mine, I had to look down and see it with my eyes to make sure that I wasn’t having a hallucination. Nope—I wasn’t dreaming. I was really holding hands with this Greek god look-alike who wore suspenders and didn’t drive a car.
Maybe now that we’d gotten to this stage of the relationship, I could begin to relax a little, I reasoned with myself. But then the tugging of worry harassed me. What am I doing? There was little chance that Noah and I could work through the obstacles in our way. The fact that I didn’t wear dresses and a bonnet and that he probably had never heard of my favorite bands before, and even if he had, he wasn’t allowed to listen to them, were just the first things that had popped into my mind. There were so many issues we’d have to deal with. How could a relationship possibly work?
We continued to ride holding hands, in silence, with only the sound of birds calling to each other in the air around us as they settled in for the night. I could tell that Noah’s mind was filled with as many thoughts as my own by the way he stared out into the corn with his lips pressed tightly together. But the warm press of his hand calmed the voices in my head and I relaxed, savoring the moment—until my cell phone rang.
My rock-song ringtone raised his eyebrows, and he was suddenly alert, glancing around in quick movements. I assumed that he was checking to see if anyone had sneaked up on us or if the loud noise had given us away.
I pushed Noah’s startled look from my mind and glanced at the phone. It was Sam and I answered with irritation, “What do you want, Sam? Yeah, I’m fine—I’ll see you later. Bye.”
He looked at me questioningly while I shoved the phone back into my pocket. “Just my big brother checking up on me,” I told him, wondering if he’d try to hold hands again.
“Sam is very intuitive to be calling you.”
“Should he be worried?” I teased.
“Most definitely,” he said brightly, holding his hand back out.
Without hesitation, I quickly gave him my hand.
“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” I asked lightly.
“If Jacob can find a driver, we’re going to a horse sale in Sugar Creek. He wants to trade his older Belgians for a younger team.”
“Really, that sounds like fun.” Plans were already forming in my mind.
“Yeah, but our driver has a wedding to go to, so unless Jacob can find someone to pull our trailer for us, we won’t be going.” He was looking down at my hand when he said it, pulling Lady and myself even closer to him and Rumor, so that my leg was wedged in behind his—making my body go crazy all over again.
But my mind was still working, and I suggested, “Maybe Sam could do it.” He looked up in surprise, and I continued hurriedly, “I mean, he has a big truck with a gooseneck hitch, and he’s hauled my horse to shows for me before. He’s actually better at pulling the trailer than my dad is. Jerry and Rita just hauled Lady here to save us a trip and to see the new place.”
His face scrunched up in concentration, and slowly a smile spread onto it. “Maybe my father will allow it—but I don’t know if he’ll let me go.” He looked up suddenly and squeezed my hand. “Will you go with your brother?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss a horse sale, but why wouldn’t your dad let you come with us?” I said, somewhat disgruntled. The whole reason I came up with the idea was to be with him.
Sighing, he said, “Father will not allow me to go if you’re going. Boys and girls our age are not allowed to be around each other without an adult chaperone. But my uncle might be going along also, and then my father would consent,” he said, thinking.
Glancing back at me with concentration lining his face, he said, “We’ll pay him well for the service, but are you sure your brother will do it?”
“He has nothing else to do tomorrow, and if he can make a few bucks, I’m sure he’ll be up to it. I’ll ask him tonight. How will we get in contact—you don’t have a phone, right?”
He laughed at that, shaking my hand with enthusiasm. “Yes, we have a phone—it’s not in our house, though. It’s in the shed.”
“That’s not very convenient. How can you hear it when it rings?” I asked, thinking about all the calls they must miss.
“It has a very loud ringer, so we can usually hear it from the house.” He said it as if it was obvious.
Oh. I felt a bit stupid. But it was difficult to wrap my mind around the idea that some people chose to not have things like telephones conveniently located within their homes. Glancing again at Noah, I had to admit that other than the clothes and his extreme good looks, he seemed like any other guy at the moment. Maybe that’s what made me forget that he wasn’t ordinary at all.
Reluctantly, I let go of his hand and pulled the phone from my pocket, handing it to him. “Go ahead and put your number in, and I’ll call you tonight after I talk to Sam.”
He held the cell in his hand as if it was a hot grenade, staring down at it with extreme thought.
Shoot, I did it again. He wouldn’t know how to work my smartphone. “Oh, sorry, I forgot. This is a little complicated if you aren’t used to one. So, what’s your number?” I said, taking the phone back as casually as possible.
As he recited it, I entered the number and then put the phone away. Once my hand was free, he reached for it again.
“It’s nice holding your hand,” he said. Then in a fluid motion he brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed my palm, causing a tingling that spread from my hand upward. Anticipation filled me. This is it—he’s going to kiss me now. I wanted him to so badly at the moment it was hurting my insides, and I looked up with hooded eyes, waiting—waiting to get another first out of the way.
He swayed closer to me, but then cussing “damn” under his breath, he lowered my hand and exhaled loudly.
Exasperated, he said, “You’re going to drive me crazy, Rose.”
I started to pull my hand away, but he held it firm, going on to explain, “Look, we’re almost to the road. Someone might see us—and that can’t happen.” He spoke harsher and looked grave as he continued, “If we want to spend time together, we have to be very careful about it, always looking out and thinking ahead. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
He sighed, saying, “And have your brother call tonight—not you. It’s not proper for Amish girls to call boys on the phone.”
“But I’m not Amish,” I pointed out.
“But I am, and if we’re going to be able to see each other, you’re going to have to start acting a little more like an Amish girl.” As an afterthought, he said, “Just pretend, Rose. Make it a game.”
He said it as if he was talking to a small child, ticking me off a little bit. I couldn’t keep the huff from escaping my lips in agitation.
Annoyingly, he just laughed and asked, “Want to race back to the road?”
The irritation that had rippled through my insides slipped away, to be replaced with a sudden jolt to my heart. “You bet,” I answered, giving Lady a bump with my heels and grabbing her mane as she took off.
I almost reached the road first, but every time I glanced back, it didn’t seem as though he was trying very hard. I was starting to think he was going to let me win, which wasn’t the way that I wanted to beat him at all. I began pulling on my reins at the same instant that Noah’s horse had a burst of speed. Doing a totally unsafe guy thing, he passed by me, swerving hard before he nearly hit the wire mesh that ran parallel to the tree line.
“Crap!” I muttered as I pulled alongside him, our horses bumping each other again. I was starting to get the feeling that Lady had as much of a thing for Rumor as I had for his rider.
“Gotcha!” He grinned, reaching out for my hand.
Only this time I ignored it, trotting ahead of him. When I arrived at the gap in the fence, he wasn’t with me. Instead, he was standing behind a copse of trees about a hundred feet back.
Darn, I didn’t mean to make him mad. I was just aggravated with his daredevil riding. Whirling Lady around, I squeezed her with my heels and quickly closed the distance back to him.
“What’s up?” I asked, pulling up close to Rumor.
