скачать книгу бесплатно
Huh. Mixed praise.
He followed her through the restaurant, noticing the looks she got from men and women both, and wondered if she knew how beautiful she was. He didn’t think so. Or if she did, it didn’t make a lot of difference to her.
At the elevators, she turned to him and thanked him once again.
“Maybe I’ll see you at home,” he said.
“Probably,” she said. “Small town and all that.”
He looked at her another minute. “Take care of yourself. And Davey.” Then he hugged her for the second time in his life, and this time, her arms went around his waist.
Her hair was as silky as he thought.
He turned his head just a little, to breathe in the smell of her lemony shampoo, and then he felt her cheek against his, and he wished he’d shaved today, because her skin was so soft.
Then their lips were touching, just brushing, not really a kiss at all, and that wouldn’t do, not when he was so close to finally, finally kissing Jessica Dunn.
He cupped the back of her head and went for it. Her lips were full and soft under his, a perfect fit, and it was so, so good.
And she kissed him back. Her mouth was lush, but the kiss was innocent and gentle and a little shy, and Connor didn’t want anything more than that—such a lie—but it was enough, it was so much... Jessica Dunn against him, her lips on his.
Then she stepped back.
“Sorry.” He cleared his throat.
“I should... I...” She ran a hand through her hair, not looking at him. “Sorry about that. A guy buys me dinner, I guess it’s a reflex.”
He wasn’t sure she was insulting him or herself. Her hand was shaking, he noticed.
“It was good seeing you,” he said.
“You, too.” She pushed the button for the elevator. “Take care.”
He nodded once then turned and walked away.
Shit, shit, shit. Whatever he’d just done had been all wrong. She probably hated him more than ever now. She told him she’d wanted a night alone, but he’d gone ahead and accepted what had probably been an obligatory offer, and then he’d kissed her as if he deserved something, and seriously, he would never get it right where she was.
“Connor?”
He turned so suddenly he almost fell. She was still there, looking at him, not smiling. “Yeah?”
“Do you want to come up?”
She was very still. Frozen, really. Then she bit her lip.
She was nervous.
“Yes,” he said, very, very quietly. “If you’re sure.”
The elevator doors opened behind her. She glanced back, then looked at him again. “I am.”
And much to his surprise, she smiled, and it caught him right in the gut, as strong as a punch and almost painful.
Almost not trusting her words, he walked back to her, and she grabbed the pocket of his coat and pulled him into the elevator, pushed 11, and they were kissing again before the doors even closed, and she tasted so good, like apples and lemon and that hint of wine, and he was already drunk with wanting her before they hit the eleventh floor. When the doors opened again, he just picked her up and carried her out into the hall, smiling as she laughed against his mouth.
She fumbled for her room key, inserted it upside down, then got it right, and they were inside. She stopped for a second. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” she said then kissed him again, shoving his coat off his shoulders, and Connor had never wanted a woman as much as he wanted her. She was lean and strong and soft in all the right places, and she smelled so good and clean, like lemons and cilantro. He kissed her neck, tasting her skin, and she yanked his shirt out of his jeans.
“Wait,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“There are condoms in the drawer,” she said. “Full-service hotel.”
“Just...wait.”
He was already breathing hard, his heart crashing against his ribs. His body was telling him to just tumble her back on the bed and get her naked and into her as fast as possible.
“Change your mind?” she said, and there was an edge in her voice.
“God, no.”
“Then what?” The three feet away face was already in place.
“I want to look at you,” he said.
Something in her eyes flickered.
He stepped forward again. His shirt was open, thanks to her quick fingers, but she was completely dressed. Her sea-glass eyes slid away from his, then back, and he cupped her face in his hands, smoothing his thumbs across her high cheekbones. Her lashes were soft and feathery. He touched her lips with one finger, then bent to kiss her, softly, softly, then the corner of her mouth, her cheeks, her nose, and back to her soft, pink mouth.
When Connor was a kid, he’d seen a coyote take a rabbit from the woods near their house. He ran after it, even knowing the rabbit was already dead, only to find a baby rabbit there in the leaves, its sides heaving with terror. Connor picked it up and felt its heart flying under his fingers, the animal terrified, but safe. He took it home and fed it from an eyedropper. It had taken a week before the animal trusted him.
It was kind of the same feeling now.
Jessica, for all her bravado and impenetrability, seemed to be a little...scared.
He kissed her neck, gently, slowly, and slid his hands under her sweater. Unhooked her bra and skimmed her skin, then slowly pulled the sweater over her head. Looked at her.
She was perfect. The pulse in her throat was visible, and fast.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, and then he sat on the bed and tugged her down with him. He held her hands over her head, and kissed her for a long, long time, tasting her, learning her mouth. Then he let her hands go, smiling as they buried into his hair. Bit by bit, he undressed the rest of her, taking his time, tracing every bit of skin he saw, tasting it.
“You’re killing me here,” she whispered, her breath ragged, and he lifted his head and smiled, and after a second, she smiled back. It wrapped around his heart, that smile, hot and tugging. “Hurry up, Connor O’Rourke.”
This was one of those moments of honest-to-God perfection, and he wasn’t going to rush through it. No.
He took his time instead.
There were no complaints.
* * *
JESS WOKE UP on her stomach, her head under a pillow. The sun was bright behind the curtains, which they’d thought to draw around 2:00 a.m. after the third round of sex—against the wall, good God.
Very slowly, she turned to see if Connor was still there.
He was.
So that was a first.
In fact, it had been a night of firsts. First night in a hotel, for one. But it was hard to think about the hotel with a rather large, beautiful male in her bed.
He was lying on his back, one arm over his head, looking ridiculously perfect, like an ad for Alpha Male Cologne. His lashes were long and curly, and his jaw was dark with razor stubble. Full lips, and a slight dimple in his chin. Just under his jaw was a divot from where Chico had bitten him, with a faint, corresponding scar curving from his eye to the top of his cheekbone. For a guy who spent all his time eating and cooking, he was pretty damn chiseled, with long muscled arms and a broad, lightly furred chest. Beautiful flat stomach thick with muscle. Those magical V-lines above his hip bones that led to Happy Land.
She knew he was gorgeous. She’d known that all her life, in fact.
It was his smile that was his secret weapon.
And his words.
I want to look at you, he’d said last night, and Jessica had gone from feeling rather lusty and a little irritable when he stopped kissing her to something completely different.
Exposed.
Because when Connor O’Rourke looked at her, she felt...different. She wasn’t the type to stop and feel the feelings all the time, because that was dangerous. In that moment she’d felt something she wasn’t used to feeling.
Scared. Just a little bit.
A lot, really.
And then he’d kissed her as if she’d never been kissed before. As if he’d been waiting his whole life to kiss her, as if she was the most precious thing in the world.
Another first.
There was no screwing, as she used to call it back in high school when she was a slut. It wasn’t just a guy looking to get laid and making use of her reputation, a guy she’d be using just as much as he’d be using her. It was something else entirely with Connor O’Rourke, giving and hot and sweet and just dirty enough and then sweet again, and he’d smile at her, and that smile slid like a hot knife right through to her unprotected heart.
This was not screwing as Jessica knew it. The feelings were not feelings she’d had before. Oh, sure, she’d...well, she’d done plenty back in the day. But it had always been hard to turn off her brain. Sex was never just sex, of course. She’d always had an agenda before, with the possible exception of Levi Cooper, who had always been a friend with benefits and nothing more—or less.
So this was another first. Inviting Connor up...just because... She’d never done anything like that before.
Even last night, it hadn’t been easy. There was no reason to sleep with Connor other than the fact that, as he’d walked away from her last night, she hadn’t wanted him to go.
I want to look at you.
Just the memory of those words made her chest feel tight. Because when he looked at her, she didn’t feel like Jessica Does at all.
She felt new.
It was scary, and it was exhilarating, and Connor knew what he was doing, and he could kiss, and he knew where to touch, and he wouldn’t hurry, but when he was finally on top of her, and they were finally together, she came to the edge...and stopped, hanging there, stuck.
And then he used his words again. “Trust me,” he’d whispered against her mouth, and she was gone, lifted on a wave of purple and red with flashes of white, a feeling of her body not being her own, and being held safe at the same time.
Another first. The trust part. The safe feeling.
What to do now was a complete and utter mystery. Should she get up? Should she move closer to him? This bed was enormous. Brush her teeth? Call for coffee? Hide?
Connor took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Turned his head to look at her.
“Hey,” she said.
He didn’t speak. Just gave her a sleepy smile that made her girl parts tighten and thrum. He reached out and took a piece of her hair between his fingers. “Hey, Jessica Does,” he said.
Her heart stopped. She felt it crack the second before it was abruptly encased in ice.
“Oh, shit,” he said, bolting upright. “I did not mean that.”
“Time for you to go,” she said, and her voice was calm.
“Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t— I’m just— I really shouldn’t be allowed to speak without coffee—”
She got out of bed, consciously not taking the comforter with her. So she was naked. So what. He’d seen everything last night. Walking into the bathroom, she kept her breathing calm. No big deal. No big deal. She pulled on the hotel bathrobe and cinched it too tightly around her waist.
No big deal.
“Jessica,” Connor said, standing in the doorway, boxers on. “Please forgive me for that stupid-ass mistake.”
“It’s not really a mistake, though, is it?” she said, picking up her toothbrush. “I put out, as you know. Welcome to the club. Go home and tell the gang another one bites the dust. But at this moment, you need to leave.” She started brushing her teeth, not looking at him.
He came to stand behind her. She stared at her own reflection, not looking at his. “Look, that just...came out,” he said. “I’m not exactly a virgin, either, you know.”
“And now you’ve slept with me, like half our graduating class. You should’ve just asked. The whole dinner thing was unnecessary.”
“Jessica.” There was a reprimand in his voice that infuriated her.
“I have other things to do, Connor. Can you get dressed, please?”
“Okay, since you brought it up, why did you sleep with all those other guys?”
“None of your business. Excuse me.” She pushed him out of the bathroom and closed and locked the door. Checked her reflection again. Normal enough, she thought, though it was sort of like looking at a stranger. Her throat was killing her, clamped tight, impossible to swallow.
Jessica Does.
That fucking name would follow her the rest of her life.
“Jess,” Connor said through the door, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just kind of... It was just a reflex. But last night was—”
She opened the door. “Save it for the next girl, okay? I have to get going. I’m working tonight.”
“I don’t want there to be a next girl. I just want to erase the last five minutes.”
“Too bad you can’t. Take care. Thanks for dinner.”
