скачать книгу бесплатно
If she had found someone else, what did his son think?
A choking sound erupted from deep inside him. The thought of losing Rebecca hurt. But he would handle it. After all, he’d grown accustomed to being alone the past two years. His business and the missions he did for Eclipse kept him occupied. He had a full life.
Dammit. He did.
But the thought of another man playing father to Jesse nearly drove him to his knees.
REBECCA WAVED TO JESSE AS HE slipped his hand into DeeDee’s. The young nanny had worked for her for six months now, and seemed responsible and appeared to genuinely care for Jesse.
Sometimes she felt bad for the time she spent away from her son and for leaving him with a nanny, but a single mother had to have help.
A single mother. Ethan would say that she’d chosen the role.
But that wasn’t entirely true. Hadn’t she been alone before she and Ethan had actually parted?
It wasn’t as if she’d gotten involved with another man right away, either. She’d only wanted to pursue her career, and take advantage of the opportunity she’d been given in L.A.
Jesse waved the small wand in the air as if it were magic. “Bye, Mommy.”
She gave him a peck on the cheek. “Have fun at the pond, Jesse. Later, um…your dad may come over.” Now, why had she said that? This trip was supposed to be quick. Sign the papers. Accept that their relationship was over.
Move on.
But Ethan had a right to see Jesse. And she would never deny him that right. Or deny Jesse time with his father.
Jesse’s big brown eyes lit up with hope. “Really?”
“Sure, honey.”
He perked up and skipped toward the door with a grin. DeeDee waved as the two of them bustled out the hotel door. Rebecca waited until they’d left, then applied lipstick, grabbed the divorce papers and her purse and headed to the elevator. A couple stepped from the stairwell, reminding her that the elevator was out, so she inhaled a deep breath, then took the stairs. Five flights. Thank goodness she worked out regularly.
Due to the blackout, though, the stately hotel was hot, filled with complaining customers and not running at its normal model of efficiency. The dark stairwell was claustrophobic and suffocating. When she exited and made her way to the salon, where she’d asked Ethan to meet her, her legs felt heavy and weighted.
Exhaustion from the sleepless night added to the fatigue. A case of nerves clutched her stomach in a viselike grip.
Everybody experienced a case of jitters before the wedding. It only seemed right that an anxiety attack would strike before the divorce.
Thankfully, the salon was empty when she entered, giving her a brief reprieve. In an effort to calm herself, she studied the fabulous brocade wall coverings, the striped damask wingback chairs, the intimate seating areas meant to invite conversation. It was a beautiful, peaceful place, one that held no sentimental meaning for them so she didn’t have to be haunted by memories of the two of them reclining in front of the fireplace or cuddled together sipping sherry on one of the loveseats.
She sensed Ethan had arrived before she even pivoted toward the door. His masculine scent permeated the room, and she felt his dark eyes skating over her, making her skin burn with need.
Shaken already, she turned to face him.
He looked massive and intimidating, mysterious and dark, a man who stood out in a crowd. A man who took control. A man who lived on the edge. One who snuck away in the night to save the innocent with no regard for his own life. Born with an adventurous soul, Ethan led others in the fight against terrorism and evil.
And he loved his son fiercely.
She remembered the tears glinting in his eyes when Jesse was born. At the memory, emotions crowded her chest, led by a sudden rush of affection she hadn’t expected to feel.
“Rebecca?”
His gruff voice sent a tingle down her spine.
“Hello, Ethan.” Her throat barely worked. Her dry hands itched to touch him, to pull him to her once more. To kiss him hello.
To kiss him goodbye.
To stop this madness they’d started two years ago.
Heat suffused the room, the tension palpable as he moved toward her, like a panther stalking his prey.
His dark look consumed her. Resurrected memories of erotic touches and whispered promises long into the night. Of lovemaking and marriage vows and total possession of body, mind and soul.
Of being a couple and a family. Of wanting their marriage to last.
But there had been so many nights alone.
“We missed you at the Red Sox game.” Darn it. She hadn’t meant to say we.
“I wish I could have been there. I…hate to disappoint Jesse.”
Jesse. Always Jesse. But what about her?
Guilt tugged at her. She had to put Jesse first and forget about her selfish needs. She hated to hurt their son. And they were both letting him down now, taking the easy way out.
But really, their marriage had ended some time ago.
And now she had the possibility of someone else in her life. In their lives. Someone in L.A. Someone stable. A man who’d taken enough interest in Jesse to volunteer to be his Little League coach.
Ethan couldn’t even make a Sox game on the rare occasion when she and Jesse flew to Boston.
“Is Jesse okay?” Ethan asked.
She nodded. “A little grumpy from the heat. He didn’t sleep well last night.”
A pained look crossed Ethan’s face. “Still afraid of the dark?”
“Yes. He thinks monsters are hiding in the corners.” Her voice wavered. “I tried to convince him there aren’t.”
“I’m sorry…” His voice trailed off, but his words held a wealth of meaning, and she knew he meant it to be a blanket apology.
She had to cut him a break. Ethan never meant to disappoint or hurt them. He had important work, was almost obsessive about achieving success, and was driven by the pain of his childhood. A pain he refused to speak of or share. Maybe if he had, they wouldn’t be here now; they’d still be together. “I guess the blackout created a multitude of problems for you.”
He gave a clipped nod. “I spent all night doing damage control.”
Instead of comforting their son. Or her.
She didn’t want to blame him anymore. Ethan was who he was. His work ethic was one thing that had attracted her to him. She admired his commitment to his software company, as well as his work for Eclipse.
It was time to move on for all of them. Better not to drag out the inevitable. She and Ethan could be friends for their son’s sake. But anything else… The chemistry, the heat, the sex had always been explosive, but it wasn’t enough to sustain them for life.
Sucking in a sharp breath, she removed the divorce papers from her purse and spread them on a table. Ethan’s dark eyes met hers, turmoil clouding the depths.
She would survive this day and the divorce. And so would Jesse.
Then they could all go on with their lives.
IT WAS TIME TO TAKE THE BOY.
Finn’s mouth watered as he watched Jesse Matalon approach Frog Pond, intent on wading in the water. Child’s play.
Finn didn’t remember ever being a child.
All he remembered was the pain of his father’s arrest. The shame. The move. The bitterness. The need for justice and revenge.
He studied the crowd of people hovering nearby. Mothers and fathers who’d left work for the day to venture outside in the light. Babysitters and nannies of Boston’s elite who talked among themselves. Teenagers who strolled hand in hand, grateful for the summer break and unconcerned about who saw them making out in public or sneaking a smoke.
Jesse kicked off his shoes and jumped in to play chase in the water with the other kids as if he’d been penned up for days. He was a precocious kid who Finn might have liked had he not belonged to the enemy.
The nanny was distracted. Rebecca was nowhere to be found. Off to meet Ethan, the man who’d let her down.
Rebecca was such a babe. He wanted her, too, wished he could kidnap them both. It would be double torture for Ethan to know that his former wife had been in Finn’s bed.
But kidnapping her didn’t fit into the plan right now. And he had to stick to the plan with no variations. Variations might mean mistakes, and Finn couldn’t fail. He’d waited too long for this moment.
Hell, six months ago, he’d moved to L.A. to ingratiate himself into Rebecca’s life. First, he’d set in waiting for his father to implement his plan. But he’d finally grown impatient and had orchestrated his own meeting. He’d come on to Rebecca, and she’d responded with interest, although she’d initially turned down his request.
But in time he would have seduced her.
Pity now that he wouldn’t get to bed her. He had to take care of the kid.
Tugging his own ball cap down over his head to hide his face, he slipped through the crowd. Jesse would never see him coming, and neither would the nanny or anyone else. There were too many people in the park, too many distractions.
All he had to do was make his move, and Jesse was his.
Chapter Two
Ethan had taken out terrorists worldwide, maneuvered his way in and out of life-and-death situations that would make some people’s hair curl and had nearly died of gunshot wounds twice.
But Rebecca still had a way of robbing the air from his lungs. Just the sight of her made him feel as if he’d stepped onto a landmine. His heart was racing, his palms were sweaty and the blood rushed to his head.
In spite of the heat and the sleepless night she’d obviously spent, she looked gorgeous today, light and airy in her pale clothing with her sun-kissed skin glowing from the L.A. weather, and her silky hair lifted off her neck. Normally he preferred her hair down, flowing around her shoulders, so the up-do should have put him off. Instead he appreciated the tantalizing view of the sensitive spot behind her ear that he liked to kiss. The spot that drove her wild and turned her into putty in his hands.
His lips puckered at the mere thought, and he almost forgot why they were there and dropped a juicy one on her neck. But the sound of papers crinkling as she spread them on the table jarred him back to reality.
His feet felt like lead weights as he forced himself to cross the room. He had survived countless dangerous missions—he could certainly sign divorce papers. After all, his marriage to Rebecca hadn’t been a real marriage in over two years. He was an adult. Life had to go on.
“You seem in a hurry to get this over with,” he said in a gruff voice.
Her startled gaze swung back to him. “In a hurry? Ethan, I moved to L.A. two years ago.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “So why today?”
Eyes narrowed, she chewed on her bottom lip and glanced at the window, avoiding eye contact.
His lungs tightened. “You’re involved with someone else?”
Tension rattled between them in the thick air. “Ethan…”
He winced. “So you have met another man?”
She slowly turned back to face him. Her hazel eyes glimmered with emotions. An apology? Regrets? Indecision? “Yes.”
A frown thinned his lips as he reached out and twisted a loose strand of her hair between his fingers. “Who is he, Bec?”
“Ethan, it’s not important—”
“Who is he?” He hadn’t meant to sound so demanding, but his voice came out cold. Harsh.
She closed her eyes for a brief second, then blinked and met his gaze again. This time conviction and determination darkened the hues. “A stockbroker.”
His jaw tightened. “That’s the reason you’re doing this, so you can be free and clear to be with him.”
The silence that stretched between them hammered home his fears.
“I’m sorry, Ethan. But yes. I’m…lonely.” She hesitated. “I’m sure you’ve been with other women.”
She’d be shocked to know that he hadn’t. He hadn’t had the desire. Because no one could ever replace Rebecca.
He couldn’t help himself. He slid his hand up her neck, caught the back of her head with his palm and leaned toward her. Her mouth was only inches away. He desperately wanted to kiss her. Feel her pulse throb beneath his touch. Make her forget wanting any man except him. “You don’t have to be lonely, Bec.”
Her eyes misted. “That’s not fair, Ethan. You know I care about you. I always will. You’re Jesse’s father—”
“Is that all I am to you now?”
She licked her lips, drawing his attention to the curve of her mouth. The one he wanted to taste again.
“No, of course not. We share a past. We…loved each other once.”
Once? The word triggered a spasm of pain in his chest. She didn’t love him anymore….
“But our marriage wasn’t working, Ethan, and you know it.” Her voice grew stronger. “I never meant to hurt you, and I know you didn’t want to hurt me. It… Our lives just got in the way.”
“And your life won’t get in the way with this stockbroker?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “But it’s time to try.”
He heard the honesty in her answer, and a pang of guilt assaulted him. He wanted her to be happy. “I never meant to neglect you,” he said softly.
