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‘Is his lordship no better?’
‘I thought he seemed a little better this morning,’ Adam replied with a nod. ‘I dare say it is having Paul home again.’
‘Perhaps he will rally,’ Lucy said, then turned to her companion. ‘Tell me, sir, have you found a horse to suit you?’
‘I am looking for a mare for my married sister as a birthday gift,’ he replied. ‘Adam showed me one or two and we have arranged to speak to one Major Wilson, who has several good horses for sale. We shall go there this afternoon.’
‘But you will stay for some refreshment with us first,’ Lucy said. ‘It would be senseless to return to Ravenscar when it is but a short distance from here to Major Wilson’s stud. I know Papa thinks well of his breeding lines and often buys a horse from the major... My own Silver Miss came from him.’
‘Thank you, you are most kind,’ Lord Daventry replied.
Lucy smiled at him, then led the way inside to her mother’s parlour.
* * *
‘Adam and Daventry have not returned for luncheon?’ Paul said, as he entered the small dining parlour they used when just the family was at home. ‘I wanted to ask Adam if he would ride out with me to look at one of the fields.’
‘They went to visit Lucy and her mother—and then I think Lord Daventry wanted to look at Major Wilson’s horses.’
‘Ah, yes, Wilson has some decent blood mares. I think I need a new horse myself...and if I decide to breed I shall need good blood stock to begin my stud.’
‘I am sure his are as good as any to be had in the district, or so Adam says—but of course the horse fair will be here in September if you do not find anything that suits you.’
Paul nodded his agreement, then frowned slightly as he said, ‘I thought Miss Dawlish much changed... Did you not find her so?’
‘Yes,’ Jenny acknowledged. ‘Lucy has grown up, I think—and her face is thinner than before, but when she laughs she looks much as she always did.’
‘Oh? I have not seen her laugh...she has little to say to me,’ Paul rejoined stiffly. He was standing at the buffet, his back towards Jenny.
‘I dare say she feels strange with you. You have not seen one another for an age—and you were a little abrupt when she was here, Paul.’
‘Yes, I dare say I was at fault,’ he said and stared broodingly at the food on the plate he’d brought to table. ‘It was in my mind that she blamed me for taking Mark’s place here.’
‘Oh, no, how could she?’ Jenny said. ‘You must not feel guilty, Paul. We all know that you did not wish for this—that you would willingly have given your life for your brother’s.’
‘Do you?’ Paul turned his gaze on her and then a reluctant smile touched his mouth. ‘Thank you, Jenny. I am a fool. I should not blame Lucy for being cool to me when I had nothing but a formal greeting for her. Does it still show...my feeling of guilt?’
‘Yes, to me and to Adam. We understand your grief, Paul, for Adam loved Mark, too—but can you not put the past behind you? Mark would not wish you to grieve for ever. He would be the first to tell you to move on with your life, as we have.’
‘I know...’ Paul sighed. ‘I am trying to accept my duties here, Jenny. I have always loved the estate, its land and people—more than Mark did, I think. I believe I can accept what I must when my father... But Lucy...’ He shook his head. ‘No, I must not burden you with my foolish thoughts. Excuse me, I must go up to Father.’ He pushed his chair back, abandoning the untouched food.
‘Your father seems better, Paul. I think he may astound his doctor and live for a few more months or even longer.’
‘How kind you have been to us all,’ he said. ‘I can never thank you enough for being here when he needed you.’
‘You know I am your friend and your father’s friend.’
Paul nodded and left her, running up the stairs to his father’s apartments. He could only hope that Jenny was right. His father had rallied since he had returned and the doctor was pleased. Paul prayed that it meant they could have some time together. He was determined not to leave Lord Ravenscar again. They must make the most of each day granted to them and Paul would learn all he could from his father, because he wanted his people to prosper—and he wanted his father to die in peace when the time came.
A cloud passed across his face as his thoughts returned to Lucy Dawlish, as they did too often. His first sight of her had been a shock. He had meant to be more friendly the next time they met, but she had been talking to a stranger and he had resented it—which was ridiculous. Lucy Dawlish was nothing to him or he to her, but, try as he might, he could not put her from his mind as he wished. Her face intruded into his mind without warning, particularly when he was in bed at night and sleep would not come.
His marriage was not something he could dismiss. Paul knew that he must find a young lady who would give him an heir and make his house into a home. If he were fortunate, he might find someone like Jenny. Adam was a lucky man, for not only was she a sensible, kind-hearted woman, but she had brought him a fortune.
As the heir to the Ravenscar estate, Paul did not need to marry a fortune. He could look for a young woman who made him feel happy—but where was he to find such a person? Once upon a time he’d believed he knew the lady he wished to spend his life with...but now...
Was Lucy really so much changed? She looked beautiful but seemed more reserved, cool as she looked at him, all the sparkling vitality that had made him love her gone. Had Mark’s death done that to her? How much she must have loved him.
His throat tightened with sympathy for her. He knew that he had been hoping she would have put all that behind her...would look at him with laughter in her eyes and...the love he’d sometimes thought he had seen before Mark was murdered. Or had he imagined it because it was what he’d hoped for?
What would have happened if Mark had lived? Would Lucy have married him...or would she have broken her engagement because she loved someone else?
A rueful smile touched his lips. He had never been sure that Lucy cared for him, even though once or twice he had been tempted to kiss her...to beg her not to marry his brother. Loyalty and doubt had kept him from trying to seduce his brother’s bride-to-be, but there had been moments when he’d seen something in her eyes and he’d hoped.
It was useless to wish that he’d spoken out when he first suspected what was in his heart, before Mark had come home in his uniform, looking like a conquering hero. Perhaps if he had...but he’d waited, not wanting to rush things, and Mark had swept Lucy off her feet. Paul wondered if she had regretted her promise to wed him, but he had never been brave enough to ask.
With a shake of his head, he dismissed his foolish thoughts and went into his father’s bedchamber.
* * *
‘I have enjoyed myself, meeting your mama,’ Lord Daventry said and kissed Lucy’s hand when she walked to the door with her guests. ‘I hope to see you again soon, Miss Dawlish.’
‘I believe you are leaving Ravenscar tomorrow, sir?’
‘Yes, indeed, I may,’ he replied with a rueful smile. ‘I fear that Ravenscar’s illness makes it a little awkward for me to stay as long as I’d imagined. However, I have a cousin living not too far distant and it may be that I shall pay him a little visit.’
Lucy’s cheeks felt warm as she gave him a shy smile. ‘Mama has invited you to my dance next month... It is under three weeks away. I should be happy if you could find the time to come, sir.’
‘Oh, but I have already told your dear mama that I shall be delighted. Even if I have to put up at a local inn, I would not miss it for the world.’
‘I am sure Mama would be honoured to offer you accommodation here for a day or so, my lord.’
‘I should be delighted to accept,’ he said, his eyes seeming to caress her. ‘But I dare say I may see you again before the dance.’
‘I should like that,’ Lucy replied, watching as Adam finished his conversation with her father and came out into the courtyard. ‘Goodbye, Captain Miller. Give my love to Jenny.’
‘Of course. She will be happy to see you any day—and if my uncle improves she may drive over to see you one day next week.’
‘She must come to lunch,’ Lucy said. ‘We are here most days—but not, I think, Tuesday next for we have a lunch party with friends.’
Adam inclined his head. Daventry smiled at her and the two men rode off. She remained in the sunshine, watching them until they had reached the end of the drive, then turned and went into her mother’s parlour.
‘Well, Lucy, I like the earl very well,’ Lady Dawlish said and sipped a small glass of pale sherry. ‘There is nothing arrogant about him despite his lineage and his wealth. Yes, I thought him an excellent man.’
‘He is very pleasant, good company,’ Lucy agreed. ‘He says he shall come to my dance even if he has to put up at the inn—but I told him you would be pleased to have him stay here.’
‘Yes, certainly,’ her mother agreed. ‘I shall send a formal invitation to his home.’
‘He says he may stay nearby with a relative and hopes to visit us again before the dance.’
Her mother smiled and looked pleased. ‘I think the earl likes you very well, Lucy. He is perhaps a little older than I should like in a husband for you, but, if you liked him, his age would not matter.’
‘He is but three and thirty,’ Lucy said seriously, for she had on short acquaintance found nothing to dislike in the gentleman. ‘I do not think that too old, Mama. Mark would have been eight and twenty this year, had he lived. Five more years is not so very much different in a husband—and I have grown up since then.’
‘Yes, you have,’ her mother agreed and nodded with approval. ‘Am I to think that you would welcome an offer from the earl?’
‘It is too soon to be certain,’ Lucy said, wrinkling her brow. ‘I like him very well. I think he would be a comfortable companion, but I am not sure I wish to marry him.’
Her mother could only agree, ‘As you say, it is too early to be sure, but I am glad to see that you are beginning to think of marriage, dearest. For a while I thought you would never recover from your grief.’
‘I am much better now,’ Lucy told her. ‘I think that if I continue to like the earl...I should be ready to marry him in a few months.’
‘I am so pleased,’ her mother said. ‘I would not push you into a marriage you did not like, but I cannot help wanting to see you well settled—and Daventry is a perfect gentleman.’
‘Yes, I believe he may be,’ Lucy replied. ‘I imagine he may have been a flirt in the past, but many gentlemen have their flirts... If he is looking for a wife, he will no doubt behave just as he ought. Of course, he is an accomplished flirt and his attention may mean nothing.’
Lucy left her mother to go upstairs and change her gown for the evening when the dressing gong sounded. A maid had set out a pale-grey gown for her and Lucy allowed her to help her into it, but shook her head when she looked in the mirror.
‘I shall not change again this evening, Marie, but after this I wish you to put my grey gowns away. I shall wear colours all the time now. I have finished with my mourning.’
‘Yes, miss. I’ll have them packed away into trunks with lavender, Miss Lucy.’
‘Thank you,’ Lucy said. ‘And I will have my hair dressed in ringlets again this evening...the way you used to do it for me.’
‘I am glad, miss,’ her maid said. ‘I think a softer style suits you much better.’
Lucy nodded. She looked at her image in the mirror as Marie finished dressing her hair. For too long she’d worn the severe styles caught into the nape of her neck, which she’d adopted in her grief, but she knew this way of wearing her hair was prettier and suited her well.
Fastening a string of seed pearls about her throat and pearl drops to her earlobes, Lucy reflected on the time she’d spent talking to Lord Daventry. He had teased her and flattered her, paying her far too many compliments, but he had also been able to talk to her of poetry and music...and their tastes seemed much in accord. Lucy knew that she was not in love with the earl; his touch did not make her heart race, but she felt no revulsion when he kissed her hand. She liked him very well and...if she could not marry the man she still cared for...she might as well marry for comfort. Daventry would be kind to her and she would be the wife of a wealthy man...if he asked for her, of course.
Suddenly, Lucy was taken by a fit of the giggles. She had no idea whether the earl was truly interested in making her an offer. His charm might be just his natural manner with a lady and he might just be amusing himself, flirting with a pretty girl. Indeed, that was more than likely the case.
The thought caused her no pain. She would not break her heart over him if he did not come up to scratch...but if he should ask she thought she might be able to find contentment as his wife.
All the months of breaking her heart over Paul Ravenscar, all the waiting for him to come to her in Italy, seemed far away. It was as if a dark cloud had been banished. She was recovering at last, Lucy thought. Everyone believed that the change in her was due to Mark’s death, and it had played its part, for she had mourned a friend...but it was Paul who had broken her heart.
She would not allow him to do it again. Lucy lifted her head, determined now that the next time they met she would do so with indifference. If he looked through her as though she did not exist, she would give as much in return.
She was not going to waste her life in regret.
Chapter Four
‘I rode over with the invitations to my dance,’ Lucy said as she was shown into the elegant parlour. Jenny was sitting at a very pretty lady’s writing table, made of a pale satinwood strung with ebony, preparing what appeared to be a letter. She sanded it and applied a wax wafer, impressing the Ravenscar seal. ‘I hope I do not disturb you?’
‘Of course not. You are always welcome,’ Jenny told her and rose, approaching her with outstretched hands. ‘Please do sit down. You are not disturbing me in the least. I was writing to my aunt. She asked that I visit her in London, but I do not feel able to get away and have told her she may come here for a few days if she wishes.’
‘How is your patient?’ Lucy asked, sitting down on an elbow chair, which was close to Jenny and by the long window that overlooked a lawn and rose beds. It was a restful room, its colours pale blue with touches of green and white in the long curtains and the light came from two aspects, making it seem bright and airy.
‘He is a great deal better,’ Jenny said, her face lighting up with real pleasure. ‘This morning he apologised to me for giving us all a fright...but he was very ill. His doctor is calling it a little miracle. I think having Paul home has made all the difference—given him something to live for again.’
‘How fortunate that is for you all,’ Lucy said. ‘You do not think of returning home now?’
‘Paul has begged me to stay for a few more weeks and I have agreed. Adam left this morning and will be gone for some days. He had business to attend, as he often does—but Ravenscar is well situated for him and he does not mind living here for the time being. I can be happy anywhere that I have my family.’ She reached out and rang the bell. ‘We shall have some tea, Lucy. Will you stay for nuncheon today?’
‘I wish that I might,’ Lucy said, ‘but my cousin and uncle are arriving this afternoon and I must be back in time to change and greet them.’
‘Your uncle?’
‘Sir John Gresham,’ Lucy said. ‘He is Mama’s brother, of course—and his daughter is a widow. Her name is Judith Sparrow. She is older than you and I, Jenny—but only a year or two.’
‘How unfortunate for her that she has lost her husband so young,’ Jenny said.
‘Yes, I feel for her. I wondered if you might come to tea tomorrow and meet her—if you can be spared?’
‘I am certain I could spare an hour or so. I shall have someone drive me to your house, Lucy. With Adam away I sometimes feel a little at a loss.’
Lucy was about to reply when someone entered the room. Glancing towards the door, she saw that Paul was standing just inside the threshold, looking at them.
‘Do I intrude?’ he asked and smiled in a way that took Lucy’s breath. How long was it since she’d seen that smile? For a moment it was as if he had never been away, never cut himself off from them all. ‘I was told refreshments were to be served here and I came to keep you company, Jenny—but I can go away if you prefer to be alone with your friend?’
Did he no longer think of her as his friend? A slashing pain cut through Lucy, but she kept her smile in place.
‘Of course not,’ Jenny said. ‘Please come and join us. Lucy has brought invitations to her dance, which is just a few days away now. I am hoping Adam will be back in time, but I shall certainly go...and I am sure Lady Dawlish would be happy to see you, Paul.’
‘Yes, I have not been to visit your mama yet, Miss Dawlish,’ Paul said and sat down in a comfortable wing chair near the fireplace, stretching out his long legs. The large hearth was empty since no fire was needed in the sunny parlour that day. ‘It is remiss of me, but I have been riding about the estate most days... There is much to do, for I fear my father has made no important decisions for years and some of the housing has been neglected. However, it was remiss of me. I must find time to visit my neighbours.’
‘I am sure everyone will be pleased to see you. I know that both my mother and father would welcome you at any time, sir.’
‘Then I must certainly come—but you understand these properties must come first.’
‘Yes, I noticed that some of the houses in Little Mallows were in poor condition as I rode by, sir. Papa always says that it is unwise to neglect one’s tenants, because it causes resentment.’
‘Yes, I think I agree with him,’ Paul said and frowned at his own thoughts. ‘However, I shall visit your mama tomorrow, Miss Dawlish—if that is convenient?’ He smiled at her and for a brief moment she glimpsed the man she’d known and loved.
‘I was telling Jenny that my cousin and uncle arrive later today,’ Lucy said. ‘She has promised to come to tea—perhaps you might escort her?’
‘Yes, why not?’ he replied. ‘That will suit me well, for I may see to business in the morning, as usual. You will be pleased to hear that my father is much recovered, Miss Dawlish. He is sitting up in bed, reading the latest newssheet at the moment.’
‘I am very glad to hear it,’ Lucy said. She glanced at him again and saw a thoughtful look in his eyes; the half-smile on his lips made her wish that he would truly talk to her, laugh with her as he had when they were children. She told herself not to expect too much and by the time a maid had brought in tea and little sweet almond macaroons, she had recovered her equilibrium and was able to speak without feeling breathless. Paul was looking at her attentively, as he might a guest he had just met—but there was none of their old intimacy, the shared jests that had struck them both as being funny when others could not see it.
‘How did you enjoy your trip to Italy, Miss Dawlish?’
‘I found it interesting and the lakes were wonderful,’ Lucy said. ‘I loved the sunshine, which was more reliable than our own, for we never know here from one day to the next how it will be. In Italy, day after day passed without so much as a cloud—here we cannot have two days without a hint of rain.’
‘Yes, I fear that is the truth,’ he agreed. ‘Though for myself I love the changing seasons and would not wish for everlasting sunshine.’
‘I am sure we should all tire of it in time,’ Lucy replied and sipped the tea Jenny had poured for her.
‘However, I should not care for the rain if my roof leaked,’ Paul went on. ‘I must make sure that the inhabitants of Little Mallows do not suffer when the next downpour comes.’
