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‘You’re wrong—’
‘I’m going to have a baby.’
He sat up straight and looked at her, the smile gone from his face.
A baby? What? He looked down at her abdomen, trying to think back to how she’d looked, naked in the moonlight streaming in through her open curtains. The soft swell of her abdomen...her wondrous curves...
‘No, not me. Not me in person. I have a surrogate. My best friend Sally—she’s carrying my baby for me and she’s got seven more months before she gives birth.’
He stared. Shocked beyond words. He’d found the perfect woman. At least he thought he had.
This changes everything!
She was going to have a baby. She was going to become a mother. Which was great for her, but not for him. He didn’t need that kind of complication in his life. Parenthood? Responsibilities? Resentment? Exhaustion?
No, thanks. No way, José.
CHAPTER THREE (#ufab99083-6508-5bf0-b2de-de0bf1cc9687)
‘YOU’RE SHOCKED. I know you’re shocked. I would be, too, if I were in your shoes.’
She smiled a little, to show him she understood. That she wasn’t going to blame him if he walked away now. In fact she needed him to walk away. Because he was a complication that she didn’t need in her life right now. A stunningly attractive complication, yes, but not the kind she would be able to rely on with a baby around. He’d hardly signed up for this, after all. It was only right he knew from the start, so he could make decisions with all the facts at his fingertips.
He could cause wonders with those fingertips... Don’t think about those. Focus!
‘A baby? You’re going to be a mum?’
‘Yes. I am.’
‘But...isn’t surrogacy like a last chance kind of thing?’
She could see what he wanted to ask. Why can’t you have the child yourself? Perhaps she needed to explain? But this felt awkward. She barely knew him, after all. Carnal knowledge of a person didn’t count in this situation. She wasn’t used to sharing personal information with someone she hardly knew. But it had to be done.
‘It is a last chance kind of thing.’
‘But why? You’re only in your thirties, I’m guessing. You still might meet someone.’
‘I appreciate your optimism—I do. But it’s not that simple.’
‘I don’t understand. What aren’t you telling me?’
Boy, those eyes of his are intense!
She sucked in a deep breath. Here goes.
‘I’ve been told that I probably can’t carry a baby to term due to an anomaly in my uterus, but I want to start a family and this seemed the safest way to do that.’
Ben frowned, a small divot forming between his brows. ‘What kind of anomaly?’
‘A bicornuate uterus.’
He sucked in a breath. ‘It’s partially split?’
He was a good listener. It made him easy to tell.
‘Mine’s quite severe. My doctors told me that any baby I carry would most likely be lost in the second trimester, or that there’d be foetal growth retardation—especially if the foetus implanted in one of the two halves.’
He nodded. ‘I’ve heard of it. But I’ve never met anyone with it before.’
‘That you know of.’
He smiled. ‘You’re my first.’
She nodded, smiling. ‘Yes, well. There you go. Intimacy and a medical revelation. Aren’t you a lucky guy?’
He nodded.
‘I’ve never had family,’ she said. ‘I want to belong to someone. I want someone who is my blood. Someone to love and cherish, who cherishes me in return. I always knew I wanted a child and I just felt that time was running out for me to find that with someone I could trust enough.’
He looked doubtful. ‘So you’re doing it on your own?’
She smiled, glad that he understood and didn’t appear to be judging her. ‘So I’m doing it on my own.’
He didn’t need to hear about the long months of needles and hormones and egg collection procedures. She’d had one hot night with this man—she didn’t want him to think of her lying back in a room with her legs in stirrups. She didn’t want him thinking of her as a patient. Those days, she hoped, were over. The future was going to be everything.
‘Which is why you needed to know.’
‘And you think I won’t be interested in you because you’re about to become a parent?’
Leah cocked her head to one side, smiling. ‘Well? Are you?’
He leaned back in his chair, considering his answer. ‘You think I’ll run a mile because a baby is on the way?’
She laughed. ‘Yes.’
He held his chest as if she’d just stabbed him in the heart and mock-groaned. ‘I’m hurt!’
‘Come on! Are you seriously trying to tell me that a man like you isn’t put off by a woman like me?’
His eyes twinkled. ‘“A man like me”?’
Clearly he wanted clarification.
‘You have a reputation, Mr Willoughby. As a bit of a player.’
He shook his head, smiling, as if he were disappointed in her. ‘You’ve been here one morning and already you’re listening to gossip?’
She maintained eye contact. ‘You still haven’t answered my question.’
He stared back, giving a half-smile, considering how to answer.
She knew the answer in her heart. And it was a shame, because she really had had a great night with him. And it hadn’t been just the sex, but all the talking they’d done beforehand. The laughing. The enjoyment of his company. The great foot massage! There’d been something there. Something not acknowledged by either of them. A spark. A connection. A flame.
But she never got his answer. An alarm sounded from Majors. A cardiac arrest. So they both leapt from their seats and made a mad dash towards the noise.
Answers would have to wait.
The next two weeks were difficult and awkward. Ben wasn’t sure how to be around Leah. He liked her. Really liked her. She was funny and smart and everyone in the department loved her. She had such a friendly manner people would confide in her, talk to her. And her laugh... Whenever he heard it, he felt as if it was warming his soul. He wanted to be pulled into her orbit. He did. But he kept holding back.
She was going to become a mother soon. And he wanted to be happy for her, but he couldn’t help but feel that she’d rushed this decision. All that stuff she’d said about wanting a family, feeling that bond and having someone who loved her... It was an idealised view of what family could be. She was looking at life through rose-tinted spectacles. People—families—they didn’t all live in Happy Land, where everyone got on and loved one another. There could be discord and hatred and resentment. Being someone’s blood relative didn’t guarantee you happiness. Didn’t guarantee you a free pass in life to joy.
Families were hard work. His own had been. And families could rip your heart out.
Leah probably thought that having a baby would mean everything to her—and maybe it would to begin with. But had she thought about sleepless nights and tantrums? Problems at school?
His younger brother and sister had run the whole gamut. In their early teens they’d hated him and rebelled against him. They would stay out all night with friends in lonely parks whilst he stayed at home. Worrying about them. Often having to head out to try and find them.
Families equalled stress, and there would be so many moments when she would want to run away but would feel unable to. Because of her responsibility.
But how could he tell her any of that? How could he squash her dream, knowing how much it meant to her?
He was pondering this problem as he went to see his first patient of the day. He was working in Minors today, and he held a triage form that stated his next patient had been hurt during a bout of shoplifting.
He shook his head in disbelief. Shoplifting!
Ben pulled back the curtain and there on the bed sat a teenage girl, probably no older than fifteen or so, and across from her a burly-looking security guard.
‘Miss Tammy Fields?’
The girl glowered at the guard. ‘Yeah.’
He pulled the curtain around them for some privacy. Tammy sat on the bed, one leg on a pillow. He could see her ankle looked a little swollen.
‘You’ve hurt your left foot? How did that happen?’
‘He did it!’
‘I did not—’ the security guard began, bristling.
‘How else did I end up on the floor? You tripped me!’
‘You were stealing!’
‘Wait a minute!’ Ben held up his hands for quiet. ‘You’re not her parent?’
‘No, thank goodness. If she were mine, I’d—’
‘Then why don’t you wait outside? I’ll come and talk to you in a moment.’
‘I’m not taking my eyes off her. She’ll make a run for it.’
‘With this ankle? I highly doubt it. Now, please...’ He held the curtain open so the security guard could pass through, albeit reluctantly. ‘If you wait in the waiting room, I’ll be through to see you soon.’
The guard disappeared, with one last look over his shoulder that seemed to say, If you run...
Ben sighed with relief when he’d gone, then sank back onto his stool and looked at the young girl. ‘Tell me what happened.’
‘I was getting some food—tinned stuff. Only I didn’t have enough money for all of it and I thought they wouldn’t miss it. It was a pound shop! It means nothing to them! And we’re starving...’
‘We?’
‘Me and my brothers. Only they’re really little so I left ’em at home.’
‘So you were shoplifting?’
‘To feed the kids! I had to. I had no other choice!’
He frowned, taking in her slightly neglected appearance. ‘Where are your parents?’
‘Mum’s away.’
‘At work?’
Tammy laughed. ‘Yeah, right. She’s at her boyfriend’s house. She does this. Goes away for a few days and leaves us to get on with things. Only there’s never no food in the house and she don’t leave us no money. And the little ones are hungry, so I... I took stuff.’
‘How did you hurt your ankle?’
‘That big idiot tripped me and I dropped the cans. One went under my foot or something. My ankle hurt after that.’
‘He brought you in?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Who’s with your brothers?’
She looked down and away. ‘No one. I had to do this. I had to!’ she cried, finally realising the implications of her situation.
He would have to call Social Care. Report this. And then this family would spend months with interference from professionals to make sure they had support and that the mother stopped abandoning her children. Only Social Services could help them make this better.
He smiled at the young girl and passed her a tissue from a box. ‘Can I take a look at your ankle?’
She wiped her nose and sniffed. ‘Sure.’
He gave her ankle and foot a cursory examination, checking for range of movement, whether she had sensation, whether she could wriggle her toes. It didn’t seem broken—probably more of a bad sprain. But they’d need an X-ray, just to confirm, because she had some swelling there already.
‘I’m going to send you to X-Ray.’
‘You think it’s broken?’
