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Sydney had not noticed a good-looking man since Alastair had left. There was no point. Men were not on her radar. She wasn’t looking for another relationship. What was the use? She’d only end up getting blamed for everything.
She was sure those men were out there. Somewhere. Even though Silverdale Village wasn’t exactly overrun with hot guys. The type who ought to star in Hollywood movies or get their kits off for a charity calendar. She’d just never noticed. Living too much in her own head.
But this guy? Dr Jones?
I’m staring at him! Like a goldfish with my mouth hanging open! Speak, Sydney. Say something. Anything! So he knows he’s not dealing with a mute.
She turned away from him to close the door, shutting her eyes to compose herself and take in a steadying breath. Hoping her cheeks had stopped flushing, hoping he hadn’t noticed the effect he’d had on her.
He’s just a guy.
Just.
A.
Guy.
She blew her breath out slowly before she turned around, telling herself to try and sound haughty and distant, whilst simultaneously feeling her cheeks flame hot enough to sizzle bacon. ‘I...um... I don’t mean to be rude, but I made an appointment to see Dr Preston...?’
* * *
An angel had walked into his consulting room.
An angel with long, luscious waves of chocolate-coloured hair and sad grey eyes. Big, sad eyes, tinged with red, in the fresh face of an English rose.
Startled, he dropped his pen, fumbling for it when it fell from his fingers and smiling in apology. What the hell had just happened? Why was he reacting like this? She was just a patient!
He’d not expected to feel suddenly...nervous. As if he’d never treated a patient before. Tongue-tied. Blindsided by his physical response to this woman. He could feel his normal greeting—Morning, take a seat, how can I help?—stifled in his throat and he had to turn to his computer, glancing at the screen briefly to gather his thoughts before he could speak.
Sydney Harper.
Beautiful. Enchanting.
A patient!
Reel your thoughts back in and show that you know what you’re doing.
He cleared his throat. ‘Er...yes, you did... But he...er...got overbooked.’ He paused briefly, noticing the way she hovered uncertainly at the door. The way her long cardigan covered her almost to mid-thigh, the shapeless garment hiding any figure she might have. The way her heavy tartan skirt covered her legs down to her boots. The way her fingers twisted around each other.
Curious... Why is she so frightened? Why do I get the feeling that she tries her best not to be noticed?
He could see her gaze darting about the room, as if she were looking for means of escape, and suddenly curiosity about this woman overrode any previous nervousness.
‘Is that okay?’
‘I’d prefer to see Dr Preston. He knows me. I’m his patient.’
Nathan glanced back at the computer, so that he wouldn’t stare at her and make her feel even more uncomfortable. Did Dr Preston really know her? The last time she’d been into the surgery had been—he checked the screen—a year ago. A lot could change in a year.
He should know.
Forget that. Concentrate on your work.
He was itching to know what ailed her. What he could help her with. How to keep her in the room and not have her bolt like a skittish horse.
Purely on a professional basis, of course. I’m not interested in her in that way.
What had brought her to the surgery today? She looked anxious. A bit stressed. Not entirely comfortable with this change.
He gave her his best friendly smile. ‘Why don’t you take a seat? You never know, I might be able to help. Doctors do that.’ He tried to reassure her, but she approached the chair opposite him as if she were a gazelle trying to sidle past a ravenous lion.
He waited for her to sit and then he looked her over. A little pale, though her cheeks were flushed. Her pulse was probably elevated. Her blood pressure rising. What had made her so anxious? He was intrigued. But he’d learnt a valuable trick as a doctor. Silence was a wonderful tool. People would feel compelled to fill it. They’d start talking. Eventually.
So he waited, noting how white her knuckles were as they clutched the bag upon her lap.
And he waited.
She was looking at anything but him. Checking out the room as if it were new to her before she finally allowed herself to glance at his face. Her cheeks reddened in the most delightful way, and she was biting her bottom lip as she finally made eye contact.
‘I need some sleeping pills. Dr Preston told me to come again if I needed a repeat.’
Ah. There we go!
‘You’re not sleeping well?’
Her cheeks reddened some more, and again she averted her eyes. ‘Not really. Look, I’m needed back at work, so if you could just write me a prescription? I don’t want to keep my clients waiting.’
Nathan Jones sat back in his swivel chair and appraised her. He was curious as to why she needed them. ‘Sleeping pills are really a last resort. I’ll need a few details from you first of all.’
The flash of alarm in her eyes was startling to observe. And if she twisted the strap of her handbag any more it would soon snap.
Sydney shook her head. ‘I don’t have long.’
‘Neither do I. So let’s crack on, shall we? Eight minutes per patient can go by in the blink of an eye.’ He was trying to keep it loose. Casual. Non-threatening. This woman was as taut as a whip.
She let out an impatient breath. ‘What do you need to know?’
‘Tell me about your sleep routine.’
Does your husband snore? Does he toss and turn all night, keeping you awake? Wait... What the...?
Why was he worrying about whether she had a husband or not? He wasn’t looking to go out with this woman. She was a patient! At least for now. He had no doubt that the second she bolted from his consulting room she would make sure she never had to see him again!
‘What about it?’
‘Is it regular?’
‘I work long days at the veterinary surgery across the road from here. I’m the only vet there, so I’m on call most nights, and since the new homes got built I’ve been busier than ever.’
‘So you get called out a lot?’
‘I do.’
He nodded and scribbled a note. ‘And are you finding it difficult to drop off to sleep?’
‘Yes.’
‘Worried about your beeper going off? Or is it something else?’
She looked at him directly now. ‘Look, Dr Preston has given me the pills before. I’m sure he won’t mind if you give me some more.’
She didn’t like him prying. He glanced at her records, his eyes scanning the previous note. Yes, she was correct. She’d been given sleeping pills by Dr Preston this time last year...
‘...due to the sudden death of the patient’s daughter three years ago, patient requested tranquillisers...’
He felt a lump of cold dread settle in his stomach as he read the notes fully.
She’d lost her child. Sydney Harper had lost her daughter and she couldn’t sleep when the anniversary of her death got close. It happened every year. Oh, heavens.
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, mentally apologising.
‘I...er...yes. I can see that in your notes.’
How terrible. The most awful thing that could ever happen to a parent. And it had happened to her and he was trying to poke around in her despair when it was clear in her notes why she needed the pills. But would he be being a good doctor just to give them to her? Or would he be a better doctor if he tried to stop her needing them? They could be addictive...
‘I’m sure he won’t mind if you give me some more tablets.’
Nathan had a daughter. Anna. She was six years old and she was all he had in this world. He couldn’t imagine losing her. She was everything to him right now. What this poor woman had been through...! No wonder she looked the way she did.
‘I can write you a prescription, but...’ He paused. ‘Have you ever been offered counselling?’
She looked directly at him, her demeanour suggesting she was about to explain something to a child. ‘I was. And I did go to start with. But it didn’t help me so I stopped going.’
‘Perhaps you weren’t ready for it then. Would you be interested in trying it again now? It might help you with this sleeping issue. I could arrange it for you.’
The computer whirred out the prescription and he grabbed it from the printer and passed it over to her.
‘Counselling is not for me. I don’t...talk...about what happened.’
‘Maybe that’s the problem?’ The words were out before he could censor them. He bit his lip with annoyance. Too late to take the words back. He needed to cover their crassness. And quickly. ‘Have you tried a different night-time routine? Warm milk? A bath? That kind of thing?’
But she’d stood up, was staring down at him, barely controlling the anger he could see brewing behind her eyes. ‘Are you a father, Dr Jones?’
He nodded solemnly, picturing his daughter’s happy, smiling face. ‘I am.’
‘Have you ever experienced the loss of a child?’
He could see where she was going with this, and felt horrible inside. He looked away. ‘No. Thankfully.’
‘Then don’t tell me that warm milk—’ she almost spat the words ‘—will make me better.’ She spun on her heel and when she got to the door, her hand on the handle, she paused, her head low, then glanced over her shoulder, her teeth gritted. ‘Thank you for my prescription.’
Then she left.
He felt as if a hurricane had blown through the room.
He felt winded. Stunned. He had to get up and pace, sucking in a lungful of air, running both hands through his hair before he stood and stared out of the window at the sparrows and starlings trying to take food from the frozen feeders hanging outside. The smaller birds were carefully picking at the peanuts, whereas the starlings were tossing white breadcrumbs everywhere, making a mess.
No, he had not experienced the same pain that Sydney had gone through. He would never want to. But he did know what it felt like to realise that your life had changed for evermore.
People dealt with tragedies in different ways. Some found comfort in food. Some in drink or drugs. Some kept it all inside. Others found it easy to talk out their feelings and frustrations. A few would blindly choose to ignore it and pretend it had never happened.
He felt deflated now that she’d left his room. Sydney Harper was intense—yes—and hurting—definitely—but there was something about her. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it.
It bothered him all day. Through seeing all his patients. The chest infection, the sprained ankle, a case of chicken pox, talking someone through using his asthma medication. His thoughts kept returning to his first patient at his new job.
Sydney Harper.
Beautiful. Elegant.
Fragile.
And then it came to him. The reason why he couldn’t forget her. The reason he kept going over and over their interaction that morning.
I’m attracted to her.
The thought stopped him in his tracks. No. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—be. He had nothing to offer her. Besides, he had a child to take care of. Clearly!
No. That way danger lay.
He doubted he would ever see her again. Not as his patient. She had clearly wanted to see Dr Preston, and the way she’d stormed from the room had left him feeling a little bit stunned. He’d never had a patient walk out on him like that.
A fiancеe, yes.
The mother of his child, yes.
But never a patient.
* * *
Sydney strode from the room feeling mightily irritated with Dr Jones, but not knowing why. Because she had the prescription she needed. She’d obtained what she’d wanted when she’d made the appointment. But now that she was out from under Dr Jones’s interested, unsettling gaze she felt restless and antsy. Almost angry. As if she needed to go running for a few miles to get all of that uncomfortable adrenaline out of her system. As if she needed to burn off some of the inner turmoil she was feeling. As if she needed to let out a giant enraged scream.
Averting her gaze from the people in the waiting room, she went straight back to Reception and leant over the counter towards Beattie the recetptionist—the owner of a moggy called Snuggles.
‘Beattie, I’ve just been seen by Dr Jones. Could you make a note on my records that when I make an appointment to see Dr Preston—my actual doctor—that I should, indeed, see Dr Preston?’
Beattie looked up at her in surprise. ‘You didn’t like Dr Jones?’
Her jaw almost hit the floor.
