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“Okay, well then I’ll do it. I’m new. I didn’t know.” She gave a wide-eyed dumb-girl look and then smiled.
Madison laughed. “You’re so … ballsy.”
“Take me to the boys.”
Their next stop was a door directly across from the one that led to their own dorms. While Julia and Madison stayed put, Becca walked through it, nonchalantly as could be, and into a long hallway, where she knocked on a door at random.
A chubby but okay-looking guy opened it. He looked surprised to see her.
“Hi, I’m Becca.” She smiled.
“Cam. What’s … what’s up?”
“Hi, Cam,” she said, looking up at him. “We’re having a party at the boathouse. Get as many people as you can to come. I have a bunch of tequila and stuff.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “Tell everyone.”
“Sure. Are you new?”
“Yes, I am. Okay, so tell people. I’ll see you tonight.”
“I will. Nice to meet you.” As soon as he shut the door, she walked to another room a few doors down. She had to tell someone who at least looked like they had friends to tell. It took a few doors until she finally decided she’d told enough people of the right kind.
When she emerged from the boys’ dorms, it was to find Madison and Julia looking impressed.
“Okay, now let’s just get the things we need.” Becca smiled, and set off with her new posse to find cups for beer pong. She didn’t have much beer, but they could just play with water when they ran out.
They returned to their hall with their collection, stolen from the dining hall.
“Hold these.” Becca handed Madison the sleeve of cups she’d been holding.
She set off down the hallway, pounding on every door she passed. “Ladies! Everyone out of your rooms! Come on! Whoooo!”
By the time she reached the end of the hall and her own door, the hallway was filling up. She turned and smiled at them all.
“Good evening, girls. My name is Rebecca Normandy. Call me Becca. Tonight we are sneaking out of our dorms.”
The girls exchanged glances, all looking eager and ready to be told what to do.
“We’re going down to the boathouse. I’ve got a few bottles of tequila, and I’ve already started recruiting the boys.”
“But we’ll get in trouble,” said a small, strawberry-blonde with tight curls, “won’t we?”
“What’s your name?”
“Susan.”
“No, Susan. I’ve already handled that.” She looked back to everyone else. “So are we all in?”
Most of the girls nodded.
“Good. See you out here at eleven.”
She turned and went into her room.
“So, Dana, are you coming to the party tonight?”
“Um. I don’t know.”
“Just do it. I couldn’t possibly go without my roomie.” She smiled, and Dana smiled back.
chapter 3 me
WE SNUCK DOWN SOME CREAKY, SANDY STAIRS to get to a beach that was so, so different from the ones back home.
My bare legs were swathed in chilly air and I wished I could go stick my feet in the water and have it be warm. But, alas, this was not Florida.
There was a boathouse at the foot of the stairs. It was pounding quietly with music, and a slivery border of gold indicated the door to us. When the door was opened, sound and light poured out and smacked us in the face.
I followed the other two and their booted feet with my sandaled ones, and took a deep breath. I was ready.
No you’re not, said that nag in my brain.
“I brought the new girl!” Julia said once we were in view of the rest of the party.
“Hey,” I said with a wave. My insides melted and I felt my face grow hot.
She introduced me to everyone. I smiled and gave them my name, promising them we’d have to remeet later. After that, Madison and Julia went off to different guys, and left me alone.
I surveyed the scene and immediately felt out of my element. I had no guide. There were a few people on a shabby couch taking deep, strained breaths out of a bong. Another few were playing beer pong, a game I was familiar with but entirely awful at. And some people just hung around like me.
Some guy rose from a chair nearby and sidled up to me. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Hey.” I almost felt like I would rather be ignored.
“I’m Ricky. And you’re the new girl.”
I nodded and laughed, unable to think of anything to say.
He gave me what I was sure he thought was a winning smile, and asked if I wanted a shot.
“Oh, no, thank you.”
“Oh, come on, you’re fun, aren’t you?” another guy asked, wandering over to us.
He said it in the distinct tone that usually goes with, “Come on, little girl, you want some candy?” Either that or like he was starring as a villain in some 1950s after-school special.
My cheeks, I was sure, were growing even redder. “I’m not a prude, I just … I’m not thirsty.”
That was a stupid response. They looked like they knew it, and walked off.
I sighed and took a step backward. There was a yelp behind me, and I leaped as I realized I’d stepped on some girl’s foot.
“Oh, jeez, I’m sorry.”
“No problem. I’m Blake.”
“Hi, I’m apparently ‘the new girl.’”
She laughed. “This is my boyfriend, Cam.”
“Hi, Cam.” I glanced back at the two guys who had just walked away from me.
“I’d stay away from them.” Cam took a sip from a red cup.
“Really?”
“Yeah, they’re harmless, but I mean, they’re pushy.”
I looked around at everyone else. It was strange, because there was music and drinking and there were games, but everyone was kind of quiet. It was like a detention pizza party. “Everyone’s sort of … subdued.”
“Yeah.” She looked around, too. “It’s not usually like this.”
I nodded, as if in understanding, and looked back out. Then the two of them started talking, and I felt like I should drift away. So I did. I sat down against a wall, suddenly eager to leave.
“You want to play?”
Another guy I hadn’t met yet walked over to me. I really hoped they weren’t all skeevy. This guy didn’t look like he would be, though. He had shortish blond hair and an overall pleasant look about him. He probably didn’t have to resort to being creepy.
“Play?” I asked.
He gestured to the table behind him. “Beer pong? Well … water pong. We don’t have any beer.” He smiled.
I envisioned the scene. Me playing, being terrible and being entirely lame and disappointing. “No, thanks, I’m really bad.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “With no beer it’s just for fun.”
“No, really. Thank you, though.”
Now I was being antisocial.
“Well, then.” He held out a hand. “I’m Johnny.”
“I—”
“Oh, new girl, right? Can I get you a drink?”
I sighed. “Right.” Then, abruptly feeling like it might not be a bad idea, I said, “Maybe one small drink.”
Johnny laughed and made me one. He added one shot. I thanked him, and took a sip.
“So what brings you to Manderley in your senior year?”
“My parents. I used to want to come here when I was younger. My parents got me in because a spot opened up, thinking I still really wanted to come.”
His features hardened a little.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with it here so far, I just … I liked my old school, too.”
“Are you … Is Dana your roommate, then?”
“Yes, she is. I haven’t really talked to her yet.” I thought of her stony silence. “She didn’t want to come down tonight.”
“That’s too bad. Not surprised, though.” He looked behind him. “Well, if you change your mind about playing let me know. I have to go find someone since you don’t want to.” He gave me a smile, and found a new partner.
I stayed for another half an hour without being approached by anyone. I drank my drink and then headed out after saying goodbye to the few people I’d talked to. Ricky tried to convince me to have more shots before I left. I declined, and then hurried away from him as politely as possible.
Outside, I turned the corner on the dark, dusty stairs and nearly screamed as I ran into a figure.
“Whoa,” he said.
“I’m sorry.” It was dark, and we were illuminated only by the running lights at our feet. I could just barely make out his face, which seemed almost familiar. I looked away and started up the steps. I stumbled, dumbly, and he caught my wrist.
“Are you a freshman?” he asked.
“N-no.” I shook my head. His hand was warm, and still held on to me.
“Then you’re the new girl.”
It wasn’t a question. “Yes.”
I saw his pale eyes squint briefly, and then he dropped my hand. A small chill ran through me, and I wanted him to say more. I wanted to say more, but I didn’t know what.
“Sorry for running into you.” I turned and walked up the steps, not understanding at all what had just happened.
As I snuck quietly through my door, I realized I didn’t know where the light switch was. More than that, I couldn’t turn on the overhead light since Dana was apparently sleeping. I flicked on my flashlight and stepped carefully to my bed, but not without stubbing my toe painfully on the suitcase under the bed. I bit my lip to keep from swearing, and then searched in the darkness for any of my things.
In the end, all I could find was my comforter and my pillow. I took off my jeans and slid noisily into bed. It was hard at first to fall asleep. I was cold and uncomfortable. I missed my big, cushy bed and the rest of my pillows, and even Jasper’s annoyingly frequent snoring that would only cease after a nudge in the ribs from me.
At home when I couldn’t sleep, I would make myself a little crudités plate like my dad always did, with Ritz crackers, cheeses, Wickles Pickles (the only kind worth buying), different kinds of meats, grapes….
Or maybe just a cup of tea and some of those jam-and-shortbread cookies my mom made and almost always had around. Suddenly nothing would be better than to tiptoe into my quiet living room, always lit by the fancy dim light in the corner, and cozy up on the couch to watch old Frasier reruns until unconsciousness swept me away.
I couldn’t even think about it without getting a pain in my stomach.
I finally fell asleep, into weird dreams filled with distorted elements of Manderley I must have subconsciously taken in, but which I still didn’t recognize.
