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The Things I Should Have Told You
Carmel Harrington
‘Anyone who loved the great Maeve Binchy will adore this gorgeous gem of a book’ – Claudia CarrollThe gripping new novel from Irish Times bestseller Carmel Harrington, shortlisted for Newcomer of the Year at the BGE Irish Book Awards.Every family has a story…But for the Guinness family a happy ending looks out of reach. Olly and Mae's marriage is crumbling, their teenage daughter Evie is on a mission to self-destruct and their beloved Pops is dying of cancer. Their once strong family unit is slowly falling apart.But Pops has one final gift to offer his beloved family – a ray of hope to cling to. As his life's journey draws to a close, he sends his family on an adventure across Europe in a camper van, guided by his letters, his wisdom and his love.Because Pops knows that all his family need is time to be together, to find their love for each other and to find their way back home…What readers are saying about Carmel Harrington:‘Carmel Harrington…will make you see life in a different way’ – Woman’s Way‘A wonderfully life-affirming, heart-warming book. Carmel Harrington writes with such honesty, you'd have to be made of stone not to laugh and cry’ – New York Times bestselling author Hazel Gaynor‘I always feel a little richer for having read one of Carmel’s books…this inspiring and emotional family-centred read stole my heart’ – Between the Lines
Copyright (#u2fa1637e-c257-50c0-b88a-a9de0a20df4a)
Harper
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
The News Building
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
Published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2016
Copyright © Carmel Harrington 2016
Cover design by Heike Schüssler © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2016
Cover photographs © Astrakan Images / Alamy (woman); Shutterstock.com (http://Shutterstock.com) (landscape, stamps).
Carmel Harrington asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008166878
Ebook Edition © September 2016 ISBN: 9780008150112
Version 2018-07-02
Dedication (#u2fa1637e-c257-50c0-b88a-a9de0a20df4a)
For my siblings, Fiona Gainfort, John O’Grady and Michelle Mernagh.
Every childhood memory I have includes these three. We know each other as we were, as we are and as who we are yet to be. In just one glance, with a single word, we can share family jokes, remember feuds, keep secrets, laugh, cry, love.
My childhood co-conspirators and collaborators.
My friends.
This one is for you guys.
(Now go tell all your friends to buy my book. You know it makes sense.)
Table of Contents
Cover (#uc03d3f12-d0b4-55c7-beed-b3c194a6ebb9)
Title Page (#u4942eb2f-5ec7-5041-86ec-86229a195ef2)
Copyright (#u573b00ff-8c0e-5d02-abe1-84d144df7cfb)
Dedication (#u4590bdca-6c71-59a8-8f45-a3e676f6c504)
Map of The Guinness Family's European Adventure (#ucd45dd62-5dd9-5917-8c5f-7fde20e33419)
Prologue (#udf85ecdf-addf-590c-b19a-5c7a2030c210)
Chapter One (#ud288640f-587c-5026-8952-4efccee9a08b)
Chapter Two (#uf9d05077-0b75-50ba-8668-7ef2d52a828a)
Chapter Three (#uc763f363-faa1-5f03-a26b-2e93fb79f167)
Chapter Four (#u075e4a41-ed49-5b7f-8987-aed86b0b3d16)
Chapter Five (#uc7ffb74d-34b2-53ec-8662-2b89933e21e2)
Chapter Six (#u00841430-11ee-5b74-8c44-b4adbf0e2522)
Chapter Seven (#u357c9e20-9b53-5748-9cc4-028bcf996a9a)
Chapter Eight (#ue8b804b9-1950-535f-bc67-8171d426947b)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Forty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Forty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Forty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Forty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Forty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
The Guinness Family House Rules (#litres_trial_promo)
Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)
Keep Reading … (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions & Answers (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Also by Carmel Harrington (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Prologue (#u2fa1637e-c257-50c0-b88a-a9de0a20df4a)
OLLY
Our lives are just a series of moments. From the small, mundane occasions that we let pass us by without notice, to the big showstoppers that make us pause and take note. Then, when you least expect it, a moment so powerful and defining happens that changes everything in a split second.
The thing about change is, it’s not always good.
Today was a day of insignificant moments, until Jamie’s scream bounced off the walls in our house and time slowed down. Relief at seeing him in one piece was fleeting as I followed his eyes and saw what he saw. Evie, my thirteen-year-old daughter, lying unmoving, vomit splattered on her face and chest, dripping into a noxious puddle on the dark floorboards.
Time then sped up as we made our frantic dash to the hospital. And now we are in no-man’s-land as we wait for more news on Evie.
A kind nurse has just left our cramped hospital waiting room and the musky, woody scent of her fragrance lingers in the air. Vanilla, apples, sandalwood. It’s Burberry perfume, I’d recognise it anywhere.
I look to my right and am unsurprised that the smell has sent Pops right back to 1981 too. A time when it was the norm in the Guinness house to spray that scent into the air every morning, in an effort to bring someone back. Until one day the bottle was empty and Pops said, ‘That’s enough now lad.’ I watch him as his grey eyes water up and he turns to hold my gaze, nodding. A silent acknowledgement of mutual pain triggered by the scent of a nurse’s perfume. For maybe the one-millionth time in my life, and I daresay in my father’s, I yearn for my mother.
MAE
How long have we been sitting in this room now? It feels intolerable and I long to see my daughter. I seek out the clock on the wall and realise that it’s almost nine p.m. Three hours’ sitting in this small room waiting for news on Evie. Meagre updates from harassed but kind nurses and we cling to the fact that at least she’s alive. Panic overtakes me once again at the thought of any scenario that doesn’t include … I can’t complete the sentence. I continue bargaining with God.
My mantra, my prayer, is simple – don’t let my baby die. I’ll do anything if you grant me this one thing. I’ll be a better mother, I’ll be a better wife, I’ll be a better person. Please keep my baby alive.
Is this my punishment? Perhaps divine intervention from a higher level, stopping me from making a huge mistake. The thing is, it didn’t feel like a mistake earlier. It felt good.
I look at my husband and wonder what would he think if he knew that when he called me this evening, I was in a bar with another man. And that five minutes before that, I had made my mind up that I wasn’t coming home tonight.
OLLY
