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Adam spun round and his mouth dropped open.
I’d thought I couldn’t ruffle Adam’s feathers, thought I’d lost the knack, but I’d never seen him so off-balance. It went deeper than momentary surprise, however. His face seemed different. The lines were etched in harder and there were smudges of darkness under his eyes.
My nose stung furiously. I’d done this to him.
I’d thought I understood how much I’d hurt him, but until this moment I hadn’t. I really hadn’t.
‘Hi,’ I said, and my heart clog-danced against my ribs.
I couldn’t hold his gaze. Stupidly, I’d thought I might see a flicker of the old warmth there, but there was nothing. I’d never realised brown could look so cold and uninviting. I couldn’t keep my greedy eyes off him for long, though. As much as it hurt, I had to let them feast on him. It felt as if I hadn’t seen him in months. In years. But I suppose that fitted. I’d spent a whole lifetime not seeing Adam Conrad. How stupid and cowardly and selfish I’d been.
‘What are you doing here?’ he said quietly, not moving—as if doing so would cause me to vanish in a puff of smoke.
I took a step forward. ‘I missed my best friend.’
He closed his eyes and then slowly opened the lids, his body sagging slightly. ‘I’m not sure you and I can ever be friends again,’ he replied carefully.
I was being stupid, edging my way up to what I wanted to say to him, and my first clumsy attempts had made it sound as if this was all about what I wanted, what I needed. It’s just that I was terrified. Terrified I really had taken things too far this time—beyond the point of no return—and that I’d destroyed the one thing I treasured most in the process. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness, but I had to try.
‘I know,’ I said in a quiet voice. ‘But while you’ve been away I’ve had time to think. Really think.’
Adam gave me a look that said he wasn’t sure ‘thinking’ would solve my problems. A swift kick in the pants, maybe…
I moved closer, until I was almost at the balcony railing with him, but the sentence I’d planned fluttered away as I took in the view.
Because of the steep hillside we seemed to be floating in the air. Before us was the jungle—tall trees, waxy-leaved plants, the odd bright spot of colour—and beyond that, just visible through the dense vegetation, the white gold of a beach, topped by a shimmering sea.
‘I think this is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen,’ I whispered.
Adam turned away from me again and placed his hands on the railings. ‘I said you’d like it.’ His voice was flat and expressionless, but at least he was talking to me. He talked towards the jungle, keeping his gaze straight ahead. ‘What do you want from me?’
I swallowed. This was it. All the games, all the side stepping and self-protection had to end now. Telling the old Adam I cared for him would have been hard, but confessing it to the new Adam…it was nigh on impossible. This Adam was far more dangerous—and not just because I’d opened my eyes to the attraction that had been so very obvious to almost every other woman he met.
This Adam had the power to crush me, to turn me into that pining, hopeless woman I’d never wanted to be. Where old Adam would have grudgingly forgiven me eventually, this man I loved probably wouldn’t. Probably shouldn’t. But he had my heart anyway, and I knew that if I was ever going to have the slightest chance of repairing things with him I needed to offer it to him as a sacrifice. If he plunged a knife in it, so be it. I was helpless to do otherwise.
I matched his position at the railing, staring out over the lush greenery as I collected myself, but after a few heartbeats I turned to face him and waited until he looked round. He didn’t turn fully, just glanced warily over his hunched shoulders and stiff arms.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, and darn it if I didn’t start to cry again. What was wrong with me these days? I took a moment to hold the flat of my finger under my eyelashes, mopping up the moisture, and to still my trembling mouth. When I pulled my fingers away they were moist and grey. ‘I really am sorry…for all the things I said, all the things I did. All the things I tried to do…’
I inhaled, collecting my courage together.
‘But I also came to tell you that you are wrong.’
I saw a flash of surprise in Adam’s eyes, swiftly replaced by anger. Surely that had to be better than nothing, than the deadness I’d put there? I carried on, feeling braver. ‘Love isn’t a two-way street. Love isn’t about balance.’
He stood up and opened his mouth to contradict me, but the words died on his lips as I reached out and curved my palm around the side of his face, as I smiled into his eyes. He froze beneath my touch, and I knew I might be making the biggest fool of myself ever, but I couldn’t stop now. There were things that needed to be said. ‘Love does mean total surrender, because…’
I let my fingers brush across his cheek, his jaw, the contact thrilling me, connecting me to him. A pulse of electricity travelled all the way up my arm and detonated somewhere in my chest.
My voice was watery when I spoke again. ‘Because there is no balance in the way I feel about you, Adam Conrad. No balance at all. And it scares me…’ my voice wobbled and croaked ‘…so much.’
Still no thaw. Still no swirl of caramel in those hard eyes. I felt my stomach sink to the jungle floor, way below us.
‘The way I feel about you… It’s all that I am. It’s everything. I finally realised what my mother’s true legacy was, why I’m proud to be like her.’
He held my gaze, gave me a moment to gather my next words.
‘Just like her, I have the capacity to give my heart fully and completely. Without reservation.’ My face crumpled slightly. ‘She didn’t choose well, though. But I have. I’ve found a very safe pair of hands for my heart.’
In one swift movement Adam pushed himself up from leaning on the railing and pulled me into his arms. We stood forehead to forehead, chest to chest, our hearts thudding against each other.
‘I love you, Adam. More than life itself.’
I kissed him—slowly, softly, sweetly—on the lips, for the first time with the full knowledge of how I felt and what that meant. No more hiding, no more running. He didn’t respond at first, and I wondered if, despite his feelings for me, he might never be able to trust me with his heart in return. I really didn’t deserve it, after all.
And then I pulled back and waited, my hand still curved around his cheek. It seemed as if my heart had closed its eyes and counted to a hundred before he reacted, before I saw any change at all in his features.
His eyes melted and his hand closed over mine. He peeled my fingers from his face. He turned my palm over and graced it with the softest kiss. He opened his mouth, but I pressed a finger to his lips.
‘I haven’t finished yet,’ I said.
Adam smiled behind my finger, his eyes on fire, and his lips squashed into strange shapes as he tried to talk. ‘I love it when you get all bossy with me.’
I ironed out my answering grin and became serious again. ‘I’m giving everything to you because I know you will give the woman you love all of yourself in return.’ I placed my hand on his chest and stared at my fingers there. ‘This good heart is strong and loyal and faithful, and I wondered if, one day, you might trust me enough to make it…’ I risked a look up at him and said with a trembling voice, ‘Mine?’
Adam gave me a look so intense I thought the soles of my shoes would melt. Then he cupped his hand behind my head and kissed me until it spun.
‘Always yours,’ he said softly, his smile swinging back into place. ‘Always was, always will be.’
That was all I needed to know. I grinned back.
His gaze roved over me, drinking me in. ‘I see that girl hasn’t completely disappeared.’
I shook my head. ‘You wouldn’t have it any other way. Life would be very boring if she wasn’t around to keep you on your toes.’
He let out a gruff laugh. ‘I see we’re going to have to work on that one.’
He didn’t say any more, just stared at me, and I stared back at him. There was a whole conversation going on between our eyes, but I had no idea what language it was in. I didn’t much care, because while my mind didn’t understand the words, my heart had caught his meaning and was nodding in agreement.
Adam brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. My eyelids fluttered shut and I let out a sigh.
‘I see the red lipstick is here to stay,’ he said.
I tipped my head back and parted my lips further, ignoring his comments and replying with an invitation of my own. When he didn’t respond I cranked one eyelid open slightly.
‘Yep. It’s staying,’ I said, a smile warming my lips. And then I closed my lids again. ‘But you have my full permission to kiss it off any time you like.’
He chuckled. But, Adam being Adam, didn’t disappoint.
Housekeeper’s Happy-Ever-After
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
ELLIE gave in to the insistent nagging at the fringes of her sleep and woke up. She focused on the display from the digital clock next to the bed.
Two-sixteen—and she needed to go to the bathroom. But it was her first night in an unfamiliar house and she didn’t really want to be crashing around in the dark, even if she was the sole occupant.
She punched her pillow and flopped onto her other side, burying her head under the duvet. She could last. Clamping her eyes shut, she shifted position again, wriggling into the mattress. The seconds sloped by in the thick silence. She lay completely still, counting her heartbeats.
Apparently she couldn’t last. Bother.
She blinked and tried to see where the outline of the door was in the blackness of the bedroom. The dull green glow from the alarm clock lit the duvet but not much more. The edge of the bed was about as inviting as the edge of a cliff.
Ellie Bond, get hold of yourself! A grown woman has no business being scared of the dark. Even in the kind of huge old house that looked as if it might have ghosts or bats in the attic.
She flung the duvet off and planted her feet firmly on the carpet, but hesitated for a couple of seconds before she stood up and inched towards the wall.
Ouch! Closer than she’d guessed.
Maybe she should have paid more attention when she’d dumped her cases in here, but she’d been so exhausted she’d only managed half her unpacking before she’d fallen into the large, squashy bed.
She rubbed her shoulder and felt along the wall for the door. It was a couple of steps to the left from her point of impact. The antique handle complained as she twisted it millimetre by millimetre. She winced and opened the door slowly and carefully. Why, she didn’t know. It just seemed wrong to be too noisy in someone else’s house late at night, even if they were away from home.
Ellie leant out of the doorway and slid the flat of her hand along the wall in search of the light switch.
Where was the stupid thing?
Certainly not within easy reach. But as she crept along the hallway the clouds parted and sent a sliver of moonlight through the half-open curtains at the end of the landing. Bingo! She could see the bathroom door, right next to the window. She padded more speedily along the wooden floor, her bare feet sticking to the layers of old varnish.
Relief swirled through her as she scrambled inside the bathroom and yanked the light cord. A few minutes later she opened the door and froze. The moonlight had evaporated and she was left standing in the pitch-dark.
Don’t panic, Ellie. Think!
There had to be logical way to deal with this.
‘Okay,’ she whispered out loud, ‘my room is the—’ she counted on her fingers ‘—third on the left…I think.’ All she had to do was feel for the doors and she would be back in that wonderfully comfortable bed in no time.
She tiptoed close to the wood panelling, letting her left fingers walk along the surface in search of door fames.
One…
Two…
She meant to creep slowly, but with each step her pulse increased, adding speed to her steps.
Three…
She opened the door and made a quick dash for the bed. Ever since she was a child she’d had an irrational fear that some shadowy figure underneath would grab her ankles when she got close. She’d even perfected a sprint and dive manoeuvre in her teenage years. She decided to resurrect it now.
Big mistake.
She tripped over a discarded shoe and stumbled into a solid wall of…something.
It was warm. And breathing.
Oh, heck.
There was somebody in the house! A burglar, or an axe-wielding maniac…
Her brain short-circuited. Too much information at once. Too much to process. Thankfully, more primal instincts took over. She backed away, hoping she hadn’t got muddled and that the door was still directly behind her. But she hadn’t made more than two steps when a large, strong hand grabbed her wrist.
Ellie’s stomach somersaulted and she froze. Without even thinking about why or how, she lunged at him, whoever he was, and shoved the heel of her hand under his chin, causing him to grunt and stumble backwards.
Mother, I will never moan about the self-defence classes you made me go to in the village hall again!
In the surreal slow-motion moment that followed, she wondered why a burglar would be bare-chested in March, but before the thought was fully formed in her head his other arm grabbed her and he fell, taking her with him. She came crashing down on top of him, and then they lay winded in a tangle of arms and legs on the floor.
Here, he had the advantage. She didn’t know how, but she could sense he was taller than her, and if the chest she’d just landed on was anything to go by he had five times as many muscles. Somehow as they’d fallen they’d twisted, and she was now partly pinned underneath him, her legs trapped. She started to wriggle.
I should have paid more attention at those classes, instead of gossiping at the back with Janice Bradford.
Because the man obviously had no intention of letting her loose. In one swift movement he flipped her onto her back, his hands clamping both her wrists and digging them into the scratchy wool rug while his knees clamped her thighs together. The air left Ellie’s body with an ‘oof’ noise.
