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He winced at the selfishness of his own actions. He’d known immediately that something had happened, but he didn’t pull out. It felt too good to be inside her, deep in the warm heat of her body. And then her legs had wrapped around him, her fingernails had dug into his shoulders and he’d been helpless to do anything but follow the urging of his body and drive them both to the finish.
He shoved his hands into his pockets as he continued to pace. The last thing he needed to be thinking about right now was making love with Tess, but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t seem to banish the memories. And if he couldn’t think about that night without guilt and remorse, he also couldn’t forget how perfect everything had been up to that moment when he’d realized the condom had broke. He couldn’t sleep without dreaming of her and then he’d wake and ache with desires.
He’d known having sex with her would change their friendship and he’d expected a certain amount of awkwardness. But he hadn’t expected that he wouldn’t be able to look at her without wanting to get her into his bed again.
He forced the tempting picture from his mind and glanced at his watch.
She must have finished the test by now.
The sound of her shoes clicking softly on the tile seconds before she stepped into view confirmed that she had.
Her eyes were wide, her cheeks white, her lips pressed tightly together.
Despite her obvious distress, he felt some of the pressure inside his chest ease. Maybe it was strange, but he’d found the not knowing worse than the truth. Now, at least they could face their future.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he said.
She nodded slowly.
He wanted to take her in his arms, to reassure her that they were in this together. But he suspected that she wouldn’t appreciate the overture, especially since it was his desire to comfort her that had led to another kind of desire and landed them in this current predicament.
She moved past him into the kitchen and he caught a whiff of her scent, something subtly fruity and distinctly Tess. He felt the stir of desire again, immediately followed by a stab of guilt at the realization he was lusting after his best friend—the woman who was pregnant with his child.
She opened the fridge and pulled out a can of ginger ale. “Do you want one?”
“Sure,” he agreed.
She passed him the can and took another out for herself, popped the top. Her hands, he noted, weren’t quite steady and her complexion had taken on the slightly green tinge he recognized from last night’s incident with the Pad Thai.
“Are you going to be sick?” he asked.
“I hope not.” She took a long swallow of her soda. “But someone needs to fix this baby’s internal clock because my supposed ‘morning’ sickness usually seems to strike in the evening.”
“Has it been very bad?” he asked, both curious and concerned.
She shook her head. “I can’t complain. I remember my sister was sick all day during the first few months of her pregnancy with Becca.”
“I’m sorry, Tess.”
“About what—the nausea or my pregnancy?”
“Both,” he admitted.
“Don’t be,” she said. “Even though this wasn’t planned, I want this baby.”
“What can I do?”
Her smile was wry. “You’ve already done your part.”
“As I recall, we did that part together.”
“You’re right.” She dropped her gaze as her cheeks colored. While Tess had always been frustrated by her blushing, he’d always been fascinated by it. She was a smart, savvy professional woman, and yet the pinking of her cheeks hinted at an innocence that was surprisingly arousing and incredibly tempting.
“And we’ll do the rest together,” he said. “I’m not going to leave you to deal with this on your own.”
“I am on my own and I can manage this pregnancy on my own.”
He should have guessed that was how she’d approach this. Strong, capable, independent Tess—she didn’t need anyone or anything. As she was constantly reminding him whenever he made the mistake of offering to help. Her independence was one of the things he admired about her even when it frustrated the hell out of him.
But this time, he wouldn’t let her cut him out of the equation. It was, after all, his baby she was carrying and he was determined to find a solution that would work for all of them. “We could get married.”
Tess stared at him, clearly stunned by his suggestion.
Okay, he was a little surprised, too. He didn’t know where those words had come from, had no clue that such an idea would pop out of his mouth. But now that it had, he realized it was, in some ways, a logical response to the situation. A baby deserved to be loved and cared for by both parents, and marrying Tess would ensure that they’d both be involved in their child’s life.
Since his close call with Lana, the mere thought of committing himself to any one woman for the rest of his life was enough to make him break out in hives. Yet here he was not just thinking it but saying it. Out loud.
He tugged at his tie, swallowed.
Tess seemed to recover from her shock first, because she laughed.
He frowned.
“I’m almost tempted to say ‘yes’,” she told him. “Just to see if your face could possibly get any whiter.”
“Instinctive reaction to the M-word,” he admitted.
She smiled gently. “I know.”
“That’s no reason to laugh off the suggestion.” And now that he’d spoken the word out loud—without choking on it—he found the idea taking root in his mind.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“We’re going to have a baby. Why shouldn’t we get married?”
“Is that a question or a proposal?” she asked. “Because if it’s a question, I can give you a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t get married. And if it’s a proposal, the answer’s no.”
“A thousand reasons?” he challenged, both relieved and annoyed by her automatic refusal.
“Starting with the fact that you don’t want to get married,” she reminded him.
She was right. He could hardly deny it now when he’d told her exactly that when he’d broken up with Lana and repeated it numerous times since then.
The truth was, he loved women—blondes, brunettes, redheads. He loved the way they looked and the way they moved, their scents and their softness. He loved everything about them, but he’d never fallen in love with any of them.
Tess believed the scars from his mother’s abandonment prevented him from opening his heart, and maybe there was something to that. When Charlene Richmond walked out of her husband’s home she’d abandoned not just her marriage but her children. One day she was there and the next she was gone, and he’d been devastated.
She came back a few months later, claiming to want the sons she’d left behind, but Craig had already learned not to trust too easily or love too deeply.
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind about marriage,” he said to Tess now.
She shook her head. “I need you to be my friend more than I need a husband, Craig.”
“I am your friend.” He took her hands in his, linked their fingers together. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be more.”
“Anything more will only complicate the situation.”
“It seems to me the situation is already complicated.”
She unlaced their hands and stepped away from him.
“You could at least give it some consideration,” he said.
“No,” she said again.
“You’re being unreasonable, Tess.”
She didn’t think so. Unreasonable had been going home with Craig, kissing him, touching him, falling into bed with him. Now she was facing the consequences of those impulsive actions and she was determined to do so rationally and reasonably. She’d expected that he, of all people, would appreciate a logical approach to the situation. “I don’t expect anything from you, Craig.”
“Why the hell not?” he demanded.
She blinked at the anger in his tone. “Because…I’m not going to hold you responsible for something that was my fault.”
“Do I have to remind you again that we made this baby together?”
“You know what I mean,” she said, ignoring the heat that infused her cheeks. She certainly didn’t need him to remind her of the night they’d made love—the night their baby had been conceived.
“No, I don’t.”
She sighed. “We both know that what happened that night only happened because you were feeling sorry for me.”
He placed a finger under her chin, forced her to look at him. “Do you actually believe that?”
Uh-oh. This was dangerous. The simple touch set every nerve ending in her body on full alert and the way he was looking at her now had her hormones rocketing.
She’d often thought a woman would have to be blind not to notice his obvious good looks, and Tess’s almost perfect vision allowed her to fully appreciate the sun- kissed golden highlights in his dark blond hair, the deep brown eyes fringed with gloriously long lashes, the wide, full mouth that quirked easily into a grin, and the strong, square chin that held just the hint of a dimple. Then there was the body: six feet four inches of lean, solid and dangerously sexy male.
She’d known Craig since she was in junior high— he’d been in high school, an assistant coach of her baseball team and a basketball player himself. His wiry body had filled out since then. His shoulders were broader now, his muscles firmer.
But Craig Richmond was a lot more than a terrific face and gorgeous body. There was an aura about him, a confidence bordering on arrogance and the sheer force of his personality drew her even as her common sense warned her to stay far away. And now, just the touch of his hand on her chin was enough to send her pulse racing.
She knew he was waiting for an answer, but she couldn’t even remember the question. God help her, he’d simply touched her and her mind had gone blank.
“Do you really think I made love to you out of pity?” he asked.
She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “Didn’t you?”
He smiled, a slow, sexy curving of his lips that caused her heart to trip over itself. “No.”
The single word skimmed over her like a caress— teasing, tempting. She forced herself to pull away from him. She couldn’t afford to let her hormones overrule her common sense, not again.
“We made love that night because it was what we both wanted,” he reminded her.
She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the all too vivid memories. She didn’t want to remember how incredible it had been, the way she’d responded to Craig’s kisses, his touch. The way their bodies had come together, naturally, instinctively, as if they’d been made for each other. Even as she’d moved beneath him, she’d been painfully aware that no one had ever made her feel the way he did, and she knew that no one else ever would. Because no one else knew her like Craig did, no one understood her as he did. And the realization terrified her.
“I threw myself at you,” Tess said miserably. “I was feeling rejected and alone. I needed someone that night and you were there.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t pretend it wasn’t personal, because I don’t believe that for a minute. The attraction has been building for a long time—since the kiss we shared under the mistletoe last Christmas, if not longer.”
“That kiss didn’t mean anything,” she lied.
He propped a hip against the counter and quirked a brow. “Wanna try it now—so I can prove you wrong?”
“No,” she responded quickly.
His lips curved.
She crossed the room, needing to put some distance between them. This trek down memory lane wasn’t doing any good and it certainly wasn’t helping to solve her current dilemma.
“Friendship and chemistry are both solid foundations for a relationship,” he said. “And if we got married, our baby would have a real family.”
He almost sounded like he meant it—as if he wanted to marry her and be a father to their child. And though she wished, more than anything, that she could give her baby a family, she couldn’t do it like this. Marrying Craig for all the wrong reasons wouldn’t be right for any of them.
“It’s the twenty-first century,” she reminded him. “Our child won’t be ostracized by society because his parents never married.”
She couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation. All this talk about marriage and family from a man who wouldn’t date any woman for more than a month in case she got ideas about commitment, was making her head spin. Obviously her pregnancy had shaken both of them.
“Can we both just take a step back?” she suggested. “Let the reality sink in before we make any definite plans for the future?”
For a moment she thought he was going to refuse, but then he asked, “How far back?”
“I don’t know. I know there are a lot of decisions to be made, but I need time.” She looked up at him, silently pleading with him to understand. “I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to ruin our baby’s life by making bad choices.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?” she asked, her words less of a challenge than a plea for reassurance. “How am I supposed to know what’s the right thing to do?”
“We’ll figure it out together.”
“I wasn’t sure—after that night…”
“What?” he prompted gently.
She just shook her head.
“Why are you so determined to forget how spectacular we were together that night?”
She looked away from the heat in his eyes and tried to ignore the answering warmth that spread through her body. Spectacular didn’t begin to describe the night she’d spent in his arms. “Because remembering won’t do us any good.”
