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“So you’ve been…alone all these years?” she said tentatively.
“I never married, either, Maggie,” he told her quietly.
A strange feeling of lightness swept over her, but she ignored it and focused on a less volatile topic. “So how does your dad feel about this move?”
Jake’s face grew troubled. “Not happy, I’m afraid. You know how independent Dad always was. He hasn’t taken kindly to having to rely on his kids to take care of him. Rob says it wasn’t too bad at first, when Dad thought he’d eventually be able to go home. But since we decided that’s not an option, he’s been pretty despondent. He knows we’re right, but that hasn’t made it any easier for him to accept. And it’s even worse now that he realizes he’ll be stuck with me instead of Rob, at least for a while.”
Maggie eyed Jake assessingly. His last comment had been made lightly, but she suspected his tone masked deeper feelings. She knew his parents hadn’t been happy when he’d walked out on her. They’d apologized on his behalf more times than she could count. But surely, after all these years, his father didn’t still hold a grudge against his son on her behalf. There had to be more to their troubled relationship than that
“I take it you and your dad don’t get along that well,” she probed carefully.
Jake gave a short, mirthless laugh. “You might say that As I’m sure you know, Dad was very disappointed in me after I…after we broke up. And he didn’t hold back his feelings on the subject, either. So I made fewer trips home, which only seemed to fuel the fire. I did go home more often after Mom’s stroke, but not enough to suit Dad. He figured I’d abandoned them, too, I guess.”
Maggie looked at him in surprise. Abandoned them, too? That was an incriminating word choice. Did it mean that he regretted his decision twelve years ago to break up with her? Had guilt followed him all these years as he roamed around the world? She’d never really considered that. She figured once he’d made his decision he’s simply gone on with his life, that eventually memories of her and their time together had faded. But his words implied otherwise.
“Anyway, like it or not, we’re stuck with each other,” Jake continued. “And I’m determined to make the best of it In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hope we can mend the rift between us. Dad and I used to be close, and…well, I’ve missed that all these years.”
Once again, Maggie was taken aback by Jake’s admission. He’d never been the kind of man who talked much about feelings. Maybe the willingness to do so had come with maturity, she speculated. Once you felt comfortable with your life and had proven your abilities, it was easier to admit other limitations without feeling threatened. Jake struck her as being a very secure man in most aspects of his life. Confident and in control. Yet he’d been unable to reestablish a good relationship with his father. And he wasn’t too proud to admit it.
“Well, the opportunity will certainly be there now,” Maggie pointed out encouragingly. “I’m sure your dad will come around.”
Jake shook his head skeptically. “I’m not so sure. But I have to try at least Rob has his hands full, and we can’t go back on our promise to Mom. Besides, Rob’s done more than his share with Dad since Mom died. It’s only right I take my turn.”
Maggie stared at Jake. The man was full of surprises. Through the years she’d gradually convinced herself that he was a self-centered, spoiled, irresponsible man who had probably grown even more so with age. But the decisions he’d made regarding his father, his acceptance of his duty, his willingness to honor the promise to his mother at the expense of his career, weren’t the actions of a selfish man. They spoke of integrity and principal and dependability. Maggie had to admit that his behavior was admirable. But it was a grudging admission, and certainly not one she cared to verbalize.
“Excuse me, but there’s a call for you, Mr. West,” Abby interrupted, pausing beside the table, her gaze blatantly curious as it moved from Jake to Maggie. “A man named Dennis Richards.”
Jake frowned. “He must not have been able to switch the time for the first interview after all. Will you wait, Maggie? I’ll be right back.”
“Yes.”
“You can take the call on the phone in the foyer, at the desk,” Abby told him.
She watched Jake leave, then turned to Maggie, her eyes shining. “Were you really engaged to him once?” she asked incredulously.
Maggie briefly glanced in the direction Jake had disappeared and nodded. “It’s a long story, honey. And it happened a long time ago.”
“But he’s back now,” Abby pointed out eagerly. “Who knows? Maybe—”
“Maybe we should try not to let our imaginations run away with us,” Maggie advised, cutting off her niece’s fanciful speculations.
“But what’s he doing here?” Abby persisted.
“He’s on his way to Castine. He’s considering a job at the Maritime Academy.”
“You mean he might be living less than twenty miles away?” Abby was clearly elated.
“Maybe,” Maggie admitted reluctantly.
“Wow!” Abby repeated “Wait till I tell Allison!”
Before Maggie could respond, Abby turned on her heel and disappeared into the kitchen. Maggie shook her head helplessly, then propped her chin on her hand, a pensive frown on her face as she considered the situation.
Jake had reappeared in her life after twelve years. “Shock” was hardly adequate to describe her reaction. But somehow she’d made it through the last half hour or so. Perhaps the Lord had taken pity on her and sent an extra dose of courage her way. Still, it had taken every ounce of her willpower and fortitude to act as if Jake’s presence hadn’t been a jolting experience that left her reeling emotionally.
She had succeeded, though, and congratulated herself for that. But a thirty-minute encounter was one thing. How on earth would she cope if the man lived just down the road? If she knew every time she went out that she might run into him—at the grocery store, on the street, in the park? The thought unnerved her completely.
What unnerved her even more was the realization that the man still had the power to unnerve her. She resented that. After all, he was nothing to her anymore. Her life was full and rich as it was. She had two loving “daughters,” an artistic talent that gave her great joy, a satisfying career and a solid faith that continued to sustain her. What more could she ask for?
But Maggie knew the answer to that question, she admitted with a sigh. Though she’d long ago reconciled herself to the fact that the single life seemed to be God’s plan for her, deep in her heart she still yearned for someone to share it with. Having once loved deeply, she knew what joy love could bring. She didn’t think about it often, though. Idle wishing was fruitless. But seeing Jake again had reawakened those yearnings, made her recall the heady feeling of being in love.
Her lips curved up into a wistful smile as she thought back. It had been a wonderful time, those days of awakening emotions and eager plans for a future together, when the world stretched before them, infinite in its possibilities. How differently her life would have turned out if those plans had come to fruition. But the Lord had had a different future in store for her. And she shouldn’t complain. Her life had been blessed in many ways.
“It looks like I’ll have to leave sooner than I wanted to.” Jake’s regretful voice interrupted her reverie.
“I understand.”
“Listen, Maggie, I’d like to continue our conversation. We barely got started. Can I call you tomorrow?”
She frowned and slowly shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I guess you’ve been kinder to me already than I have any right to expect,” he acknowledged soberly. “You probably still hate me, and I can’t say I blame you.”
“I never hated you, Jake. I was just…hurt. But I got over that a long time ago.”
He looked at her, wanting to believe that was true, but finding it difficult to accept. In her place, he doubted he’d be that forgiving. “Really?”
She nodded. “Really.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me?”
Because I’m scared, she cried silently. I feel like atightrope walker who’s about to lose her balance. And I don’t want to fall, Jake. Not again. Not ever again.
But of course she couldn’t say that. “It’s awfully busy this time of year. I just don’t have the time to socialize.”
“How about a phone call, then? Surely you can spare a few minutes for that.”
They both knew she could. And Maggie didn’t want to give Jake the impression that she still held a grudge. That would make her seem small and unforgiving. Not to mention un-Christian. With a sigh, she capitulated.
“All right, Jake. Give me a call when you have a few minutes.”
She was rewarded with a smile so warm it seemed like sunshine on a lazy summer day. “Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate it. I’ve already taken care of my bill and loaded my car, so I’ll say goodbye for now.” He stood up and held out his hand. She had no choice but to take it, trying to still the rapid beating of her heart as her fingers were engulfed in his firm, warm grip.
“I know this encounter has upset you, Maggie,” he murmured, the familiar husky timbre of his voice playing havoc with her metabolism as his discerning gaze locked on hers. “And I’m sorry for that. I never want to upset you again. But I’m not sorry our paths crossed. I think it happened for a reason.”
Maggie didn’t respond. She couldn’t.
Jake held her gaze a moment longer, then released it—as well as her hand. “I’ll call you soon,” he promised. With that he turned and strode away.
Maggie sank back into her chair, his words echoing in her mind. He’d said he thought their paths had crossed for a reason. She couldn’t dispute that. It was too odd a coincidence to accept at face value. He’d also said he was glad it had happened. On that point she disagreed. Maggie wasn’t glad at all. Because now that Jake had walked back into her life, she somehow knew it would never be the same again.
Chapter Three (#ulink_eb90dc2b-0247-5ae4-9e1e-f2e338619a85)
“Earth to Maggie, earth to Maggie. Are you with me over there?”
Maggie abruptly returned to reality, blushing as she sent Philip, her lunch partner, an apologetic look. “Sorry about that,” she said sheepishly.
“No problem. So what if you don’t find my company fascinating? Why should I be insulted?”
Maggie grinned at his good-natured teasing. “You’re a good sport, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told. So what gives?”
She shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”
“Maggie, I’ve known you for what…seven, eight years? In all that time I’ve never once seen you distracted. So I figure something’s happened—something pretty dramatic. Therefore, I repeat…what gives?”
Maggie looked down and played with her fork. She should have known she couldn’t hide her inner turmoil from Philip. He was way too perceptive. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to tell him about Jake. Philip had been a trusted friend and firm supporter for years. Without his encouragement, she might never have taken up serious painting again. Even now he had several of her pieces displayed in his gallery. He’d been a good sounding board through the years, too. A widower with two grown daughters, he’d offered her valuable advice about the girls on numerous occasions. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to run this situation by him, get his take on it.
“Okay, you win,” she capitulated. “Something pretty…dramatic…did happen today.”
He tilted his head and eyed her quizzically. “Well, I can’t say you look unhappy exactly. It must not be anything too terrible.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” she murmured, shaking her head. She stirred her ice tea and took a deep breath. “You remember I mentioned once that years ago I was engaged?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Well…Jake—that was his name—he…he stayed at the inn last night”
Philip frowned. “You mean he came to see you?”
“No, nothing like that,” she said quickly. “He got caught in the fog and just happened to stop at our place. Allison checked him in. I didn’t even know he was there until this morning at breakfast, when the girls kept talking about this…this nice-looking man who’d checked in. It turned out to be Jake.”
Philip stared at her. “That must have been a terrible shock.”
Maggie gave a short, mirthless laugh. “That’s putting it mildly. I’ve been off balance ever since it happened. Which is odd, since my relationship with him was over long ago. I can’t figure out why his reappearance has disturbed me so much.”
Philip studied her for a moment “It does seem strange,” he concurred. “After all, whatever you two shared is obviously history.”
“Right.”
“And it isn’t as if he even means anything to you anymore.”
“Right” This time there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
“What was he doing here, anyway?”
“He’s interviewing for a job at the Maritime Academy.”
“You mean he might actually move up here?”
“Yes. And that makes me even more nervous. Which is ridiculous, because we’re really no more than strangers to each other now.”
“It’s probably just the shock of seeing him,” Philip reassured her. “Where has he lived all these years?”
“All over, I guess. He’s been in the navy. I think he still would be if it wasn’t for his father.” Maggie briefly explained the situation to Philip.
“Hmm” was his only cryptic comment when she finished.
Maggie tilted her head and looked at him quizzically. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged. “I guess I’m a little surprised. And impressed. Not many people would give up their career, start over, change their whole life to keep a promise basically made under duress. He sounds like a very honorable man.”
Maggie frowned. “Yes, he does,” she admitted. “And it’s so at odds with the image I’ve had of him all these years.”
“Well, people do change.”
“I suppose so,” she admitted reluctantly. “I just wish I didn’t feel so off balance.”
“Things will work out, Maggie,” he told her encouragingly. “They always do. You’ve successfully weathered a lot of storms though the years, and you’ll ride this one out, too. I know. And I’m always here if you need a sympathetic ear. Don’t forget that.” He touched her hand lightly and smiled, then switched gears. “In the meantime…when do I get a preview of the new painting?”
“Will next week be okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll reserve a spot right near the front for it You know, you have a large enough body of work now to consider your own show.”
Maggie grimaced. “I just don’t feel…well…good enough…to have an official show.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? Besides, you’ll never know till you try. It’s not like you to back off from a challenge.”
“I know. But my painting is so…personal. If I got bad reviews it would be devastating. I’m not sure I’m ready to face that.”
“First of all, they wouldn’t be bad. And second of all, you can face anything, Maggie Fitzgerald. Because you are one of the strongest women I know.”
Maggie wanted to believe him. As recently as yesterday she might have. But a lot had happened since then. And at this particular moment, she didn’t feel very strong at all—thanks to one very unforgettable man named Jake West.
“Jake called twice. Will call again tomorrow.”
Maggie’s heart leapt to her throat as she read the note on the kitchen counter. She should have figured he’d call while she was out She hoped the girls had explained where she was. She didn’t want him to think she was trying to avoid him. It was just that she led a very busy life. Her days—and evenings—were filled. Like tonight. The zoning board meeting had run far later then she expected, because of some heated discussion. And she still had a few breakfast preparations to make, even if it was—she glanced at her watch and groaned—ten-thirty. There always seemed to be too much to do and not enough time.
As Maggie methodically set about assembling the egg and cheese casseroles that were tomorrow’s breakfast entrée, she reflected on the hectic pace of her life. For most people, simply running an inn and raising twins would be a full-time job. But she had made other commitments, as well. Like serving on the church council. And on the zoning board. Not to mention the watercolors she did for the greeting card company and, in recent years, pursuit of more serious art in her limited “spare” time. Why did she take so much on? she wondered with a frown. Could it be that she wanted to keep herself so busy that she had little time to dwell on the one thing that was lacking in her life?
With an impatient shake of her head, Maggie beat the eggs even harder. She didn’t usually waste time trying to analyze her life choices. If some of them were coping mechanisms, so be it. They worked, and that was all that mattered. Or they’d worked up until today, she amended. Jake’s reappearance had changed everything and, much to her surprise, rattled her badly.
But what surprised her even more was the fact that when she looked at him, it wasn’t the hurt she remembered, but the intense, heady joy of being in love. In some ways, it would almost be easier to remember the pain. Because that had no appeal But love—that was a different story. That had a whole lot of appeal. It was just that the opportunity had never come along again. And it wasn’t here now, she reminded herself brusquely as she slid the casseroles into the refrigerator. Jake had had his chance. She wasn’t about to give him another.
Abby looked up from her seat in a wicker chair on the porch and grinned as she saw Jake stride up the path.
“Did you come to see Aunt Maggie?” she asked eagerly, laying her book aside.
