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But she couldn’t help asking, ‘Where has Isaac been?’
Rosalind took a corner at a quite reckless speed. Then she replied, almost guiltily, ‘To be honest, I’ve hardly spoken to him this afternoon. He did say something about mining over in Western Australia. Started out prospecting with some old fellow and worked his way up in the mining industry, I think. I believe he’s been quite successful. But it’s your father’s afternoon off, and he just greeted Isaac with open arms like the returned prodigal son, opened his last bottle of his favourite vintage claret, and they’ve been chatting for hours. I’m afraid I was too distressed to just sit and listen to them. I have so much still to do, of course, and—well, you know how close they always were.’
The car pulled up with a slight screech as they encountered a line of traffic at an intersection.
Her father had always loved Isaac, Tessa reflected. Bringing the street kid home one night when he found him sick and shivering on the steps of his general practice surgery had been quite out of character for Dr. Morrow, but something in Isaac’s intelligent, haunted face had touched the good man’s heart long before the boy stole Tessa’s. Isaac had lived with them for seven wonderful years after the official fostering papers had been signed.
And he’d been gone for nine after that fateful day.
Tessa quickly clamped down hard on her distracting thoughts and forced her mind to return to the safety of practical wedding plans. ‘I can’t wait to see the marquee when it’s all decorated. Have the bud lights arrived?’
‘Gardeners and Greene delivered all our orders this morning,’ Rosalind replied.
‘Great!’ It was so easy to sound reassuringly interested in other things, but the attempts to keep her thoughts from straying to Isaac were unsuccessful. How could she bear to see him again now? Another alarming thought jumped into her head. ‘Mum, Isaac’s not going to stay for the—for my wedding, is he?’
The car was climbing through the streets of Yarrawonga, which, clinging to the edge of Castle Hill with stunning sea views, was Townsville’s most prestigious suburb. They edged up the last steep incline to the Morrows’ house.
‘I have a strange feeling that might be why he came home,’ said Rosalind, her voice brittle with tension. ‘Of course, he claims he’s here on business with some big Asian mining company. But it is a strange coincidence, isn’t it?’
Tessa’s eyes stung with sudden hot tears. It was indeed very strange. And to have Isaac come back now, to have him present, actually watching her marriage to Paul Hammond, was worse than her most distressing nightmare. After all the long nights she’d lain in bed wondering about him, one minute crying for fear he was hurt or dead, and then wishing he was the next! How many times had her mind elaborated wildly on a bizarre range of horrific accidents?
Then eventually, after too long, she’d been numb enough to be able to force him to the back of her mind. And she had thrown herself into teaching her preschoolers with a passion that had delighted everyone and had brought her a measure of satisfaction. Her life, even if it felt continually at the low water mark, had resumed.
An off-the-road utility truck, black, new and very expensive looking, swathed in red dust, was parked in front of the Morrow house. It had to be Isaac’s. The shock wave that jolted through Tessa hurt to her very fingertips.
She couldn’t go inside, she decided. If seeing his car made her feel like this, how could she possibly face the man?
A blue heeler cattle dog sat in the back of the truck, keen eyes alert, ears pricked and tail wagging.
‘Of course I’ve insisted the dog stays in the truck,’ Rosalind muttered as she swung her car through the gates and swept up the steep drive beside the house. ‘It would make a terrible mess of the garden.’
‘Won’t he—it—get hot?’ asked Tessa lamely, wondering how any part of her mind could still function when she felt so dazed with dread.
‘Isaac’s brought a covered cage for him, and knowing him, he’ll take him for walks all over the hill. He’ll be all right. July is our coolest month, after all,’ replied Rosalind firmly as she wrenched on the handbrake and opened her door.
This was it.
Tessa tried to tell herself it was simply a matter of opening the car door, walking into her home and saying good afternoon to an old family friend. She would have preferred to walk into a creek full of man-eating crocodiles or into a dentist’s surgery to have all her teeth drilled.
Trembling with tension, she followed her mother into the dimmed interior of the house, which was shuttered from the glare of the western sun. They stepped silently through the spotless kitchen and across the carpeted lounge towards the outside deck.
Isaac’s voice, a familiar, deep, rumbling drawl, reached her first. Her heart thudded painfully. But what surprised her as she continued her journey was the sudden fatalistic calm that settled over her, as if the churning blood in her veins was transfused with something as soothing and innocuous as warmed honey.
It was almost as if she’d been sedated. She was able to dump her shoulder bag on the coffee table and walk towards the timber-framed doors that opened onto the deck as easily as she had when she was a thoughtless and carefree girl.
Is this how a fly feels as it enters a spider’s web? she wondered. Perhaps people heading for the guillotine experience this strange kind of peace in their final moments.
All it took was the sound of Isaac’s voice, and she was no longer fearful, but simply glad—overjoyed to be seeing her foster brother again.
And then her eyes found him.
Before she stepped out of the darkened room, she saw Isaac standing, leaning against a railing at the end of the deck. She stayed in the shadows to steady the sudden fillip in her heartbeat. Sun-dappled light filtering through overhead lattice played across his features, highlighting first the aristocratic brow and then the craggy bone structure, which looked for all the world as if it had been sculpted by a passionately impatient hand. Except for the mouth, which was moulded firmly and carefully, with lips full of sensuous promise.
His hair was longer than she remembered. Curling and black, it skimmed his collar, so that more than ever he looked like a dark-skinned Gipsy or a pirate, wickedly adventurous, scorning convention. As he always had, Isaac carried that indefinable air of danger that should have repelled her, but had always drawn her to him—against her better judgment and to her intense regret.
Despite the obvious quality of his clothes, Isaac wore them with elegant negligence. The untidiness was rescued by his erect and handsome figure, the breadth of his shoulders, the leanness of his hips and the length of his legs.
It was totally unforgivable of her to immediately make comparisons, but it hit her at once that a man more different from Paul could hardly be found.
While Paul’s face was round and placid, Isaac’s was rugged and hard. Paul’s eyes were a reflective, gentle grey. Isaac’s were black fire smouldering beneath brooding, dark brows. Just now, his eyes were shaded, but she caught the glint of heated ebony.
Her impulse came in a heartbeat. She rushed forward, hurtling across the deck, a small missile flying into his startled arms.
‘Isaac!’
After the countless hours she had idled away imagining their meeting and Isaac’s response, it was weird that now they were actually together again, her reaction was totally spontaneous, hopelessly unplanned.
And she gave herself no time to think of an aftermath. She simply buried herself into Isaac’s chest and waited for his strong arms to close around her and to hold her tightly to him as they had so often before in happier times.
She felt the violent tremor that shuddered through his lean body as she pressed against it. But no arms descended to enclose her as she waited there. And when she cautiously looked into his face, she caught a momentary flash of agony swiftly replaced by a shield of cold indifference.
He stiffened, as if repelled by her advance, and the tiny, impoverished spark of faith she’d never quite extinguished through all the long years since he’d left was snuffed in an instant.
‘Tessa, for heaven’s sake.’ Rosalind’s choked disapproval clanged in the air behind her.
She drew back, her hands falling lifeless to her sides. ‘Sorry,’ she said softly. ‘How…how are you, Isaac?’
‘I’m fighting fit,’ he replied, his eyes skittering ever so briefly over her hair, blond as ripe corn, her flushed face, simple blouse and slacks, then darting away to blink at the brick red bougainvillea, which hung from the trellis. ‘And how are you, Tessa?’
‘F-fine.’
‘Let me congratulate you.’ His eyes returned to her with lazy amusement, and he took her left hand, paying studious attention to her engagement ring. It was embarrassingly huge. An enormous emerald surrounded by brilliant diamonds. Tessa had always thought it too large and ostentatious for her fine bones, and because of her deep blue eyes, she hardly ever wore green, but Paul had been immensely proud of his selection.
As Isaac’s dark gaze rested on the ring, her pale hand trembled visibly within the heat of his sun-tanned grasp.
‘A fitting rock for the Queen of Castle Hill,’ he said coldly.
Tessa snatched her hand away as if he’d burnt her. Reality with all its glaring, hateful commonsense showed her clearly what she had always known in her heart of hearts. Of course Isaac hadn’t come back for her.
She had heard people throw away clichéd lines about moments of truth, but she had never realised what pain these moments represented.
If Isaac were oh so eager to see her again, he would never have stayed away so long in the first place. The accusations he’d flung at her the day he left were true. He despised her and everything she stood for. The very fact that he could come back now to watch coolly and dispassionately while she bound her heart and body to another man forever until parted by death meant that he felt no emotional ties whatsoever.
She knew it was ridiculous, but even as she stood there, angry at his easy rejection of her and still flushed with shame over her impetuous greeting, she was unable to drag her eyes away. They travelled restlessly, hungrily over his every feature while his gaze remained politely, icily remote.
At closer quarters, she sensed something about Isaac that was both as old and familiar as her memories of him and yet new and strange. It was as if he embodied a living contradiction. His dark, brooding eyes were shadowed by a weary sadness that suggested he’d been weighed down by too many harsh experiences. But beneath the stormy exterior there was something else, something sharp and expectant at his centre, something alert and waiting in his glittering gaze that made her think of the childish excitement of Christmas morning or the very first day of the long summer holidays.
She was startled when her father’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘Tessa, darling, isn’t this a wonderful surprise?’
She forced her lips to curve into a smile as she acknowledged her father’s presence nearby in a comfortable squatter’s chair. She crossed to him and bent to kiss his cheek. Like her fiancé, Paul Hammond, John Morrow was a kind and gentle man, if a little subservient to his wife. Tessa eyed her father fondly, remembering that it was Paul’s likeness to him that had helped her decide to accept his proposal of marriage. A lifetime with someone like Dad would be very pleasant.
She wanted to concur with her father’s pleasure in Isaac’s return, but the words wouldn’t form. Her mouth opened and then shut again. How could she possibly pretend to be pleased to see Isaac again? The wonderful surprise Dr. Morrow referred to had reverted to nightmare in the blink of a cold, indifferent eye.
But her father didn’t seem to notice her hesitancy. ‘Isaac’s done so well!’ He beamed at her. ‘He’s worked for a degree in mining engineering. He’s slogged away for years out in the Pilbara. And now he manages a huge—’
‘John,’ interrupted Rosalind. ‘Come and I’ll make you a cup of tea. There’s something I need to discuss with you.’
Tessa felt her mother’s eyes linger on her a shade too long. She could imagine the detailed discussion of her dizzy spell. Poor Dad.
But sympathy for her father swiftly evaporated as the Morrows walked into the house, leaving Tessa and Isaac alone on the deck.
CHAPTER TWO
TESSA spun away from Isaac. How on earth could she face him alone? If only she could run after her parents like a frightened child! Her shaking hands gripped the deck’s railing, and she forced her eyes to focus on the vista of rooftops and sea stretching below while she struggled to calm her rising panic. She took deep breaths, trying to think sensibly. Surely she’d faced the worst? Nothing could hurt her more than the monumental indifference of his cold greeting.
She flinched. How could she possibly have been so uncontrolled as to hurl herself at him like some immature groupie at a rock concert? Her ridiculous excitement at seeing Isaac had clearly embarrassed him. Of course he had stopped caring about her years ago.
‘The view is as beautiful as ever.’
His voice brought her swivelling to face him. He was standing some distance away, but to her surprise, his eyes seemed to be exploring every inch of her face, as if they were taking in each fine detail, so that she could have been forgiven for thinking that the view he referred to was of herself. Self-consciously, she brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, and his eyes followed her hand—her left hand with its large emerald. And once more his face grew grim and hard.
A ridiculous urge to slip the ring from her finger seized Tessa, but of course that would be unthinkable for all sorts of reasons. But, with a momentary flash of guilt, she couldn’t resist pushing her hand into the pocket of her slacks, hoping the gesture didn’t look as contrived as it felt.
‘I guess you’ve seen a great many places on your travels since you—you left,’ she offered with a tight smile. ‘How does this view compare with the rest of the world?’
Something resembling a smile flickered briefly at the corners of Isaac’s mouth, revealing a glint of white teeth against his tan. His eyes, smouldering with secret amusement, travelled over her again, very slowly this time, then deliberately held her gaze. ‘Oh, this view most surely holds its own,’ he said softly.
Tessa felt a betraying heat flush her cheeks. Her throat tightened painfully, and goose bumps prickled her arms. Their sudden advent had nothing to do with the brisk sea breeze, which lifted and teased her hair. His gaze unleashed a rush of heady memories. Dangerous memories. This was unbearable! Think of Paul, she urged herself. Focus on the wedding.
‘I—I still haven’t travelled very far,’ she said hoarsely, inching away from him.
Isaac nodded and smiled a little sadly as he looked out to sea. There was another awkward silence, and she wondered desperately what else they could talk about. ‘I guess I should have taken the opportunity to travel widely by now,’ she managed to say at last. ‘Most of my friends have been overseas—to Asia, Europe, the States.’
‘There’s certainly a lot that can be learned from travelling,’ Isaac replied, looking suddenly very serious, ‘but then again, travel isn’t always about distances covered—or sights seen.’ His voice grew unexpectedly husky. He shoved his large hands deep into his trouser pockets and leant against the rail next to her. Tessa’s gasp sounded as frantic as she felt. His voice, when he spoke again, was hardly more than a whisper. ‘The important journeys can be going on inside us even when we appear to be standing still.’
He was looking at her as if his penetrating dark gaze could see right inside her heart. But Tessa knew he would never in a million light-years be able to trace all the miserable emotional journeys she had made in the past nine years—all of them going round and round in circles. Every one of them beginning and ending with her feelings for him.
I would have gone anywhere with you, Isaac, she wanted to cry.
Then, aghast at the insistence of her repeatedly disloyal thoughts, she moved away from the heat of his gaze, her mind boiling. To cover her consternation, she made a desperate stab at flippancy.
‘You’re getting very deep for so early in a conversation. Has your afternoon with Dad left you in a philosophical mood?’
Isaac’s laugh sounded forced.
‘Perhaps.’ He took in a deep breath and stretched. His broad shoulders and chest expanded so that the loose cotton shirt lifted to reveal a tempting glimpse of smooth tanned flesh. Then he released his breath in a slumping sigh, and when Tessa lifted her gaze once more to his face, she wished she hadn’t.
Isaac was looking at her as if she’d fulfilled his worst expectations.
‘Of course,’ he said, his lips twisted in a mirthless smile, ‘I mustn’t forget that when I’m with Queen Tess, deep is dangerous. We must stay comfortably shallow, mustn’t we?’
Dismayed, she watched his face darken and his lips thin with bitterness until he looked as angry with her as he had on that horrible morning when he left. His sudden hostility baffled her now just as much as it had then.
On this very deck on a sultry November morning, over a breakfast neither of them had touched, he’d accused her of being shallow—of having all her middle-class values too firmly in place.
‘Of course you’re too fine a lady for a tramp who’s crawled out of the gutter,’ he’d stormed.
She shuddered as she remembered the accusations he’d hurled at her. In the midst of it all he’d called her a snob, and for the last time he’d labelled her Queen of Castle Hill. But it was the first time he’d made the name sound like an insult instead of a term of endearment.
She closed her eyes to stem the tide of burning tears that threatened. Now was certainly not the time to give in to the indulgence of hurtful indignation. ‘I don’t know about being shallow, but shouldn’t we be aiming for less stress in our lives?’ she asked lightly to cover her discomfort at the memories.
‘Of course.’ His shoulders moved in a scant shrug.
‘You know the way it goes? Don’t worry, be happy.’
‘So you’ve been relaxed and happy?’
‘As if you cared!’ she snapped. ‘You just walked off into the blue without giving me a second thought.’
Isaac’s eyes narrowed. His mouth thinned into another unhappy smile, and he shook his head.
‘You can’t deny it!’ she cried, her eyes bright with anger. Then before her courage drained away, she spoke the question uppermost in her mind. ‘Why have you come back, Isaac?’
But she didn’t get the answer she so desperately needed. The sudden loud, aggressive barking of a dog interrupted them. It was coming from somewhere on the footpath.
‘That sounds like Devil.’ Isaac strode quickly to the far end of the deck and, driven by curiosity, Tessa followed. By leaning over the deck’s railing, they could look down, past the side of the house, to the front footpath.
Isaac’s dog was straining at his leash, snarling and barking madly and trying desperately to leap over the edge of the utility. It seemed he wanted to attack someone on the footpath.
‘Devil, stop that! Down, boy!’ he called.
Devil! What an appropriate name for a hateful man’s dog, Tessa thought. Then she looked more closely at the cowering victim on the footpath.
‘Oh, good heavens. It’s Paul. Your dog’s after my fiancé,’ she cried.
Paul Hammond stood on the footpath, trying manfully to ignore the dog’s fury. At Isaac’s instruction, Devil stopped barking, but he still growled, his lip curled and his teeth bared.
‘Don’t touch Devil, he’s a one man dog,’ barked Isaac in a fierce imitation of the snarling animal.
‘I’ve no intention of touching him,’ Paul called. ‘I simply spoke to him.’
‘He’s trained to be a good watchdog,’ Isaac muttered, glaring at Paul with something close to malice.
Tessa felt compelled to defend her fiancé. ‘Come on up, Paul,’ she said. She turned to Isaac. ‘I hope your dog won’t attack all our visitors. Poor Paul—what an awful introduction for him.’
‘Poor Paul,’ repeated Isaac softly, ‘should know better than to approach strange dogs.’
Paul’s footsteps could be heard at the bottom of the stone steps leading from the side garden onto the deck.
