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But he’d barred himself from doing any of it, mostly because of what he’d stowed in the chest just before he’d heard her moving around while going to the kitchen.
Danielle’s ashes in an urn.
He supposed that the approaching anniversary of his first wife’s suicide had urged him to take out her remains. But then again, he often contemplated her—the memories of what he could’ve done. The penance for not being able to stop her…
In any case, he’d been in a brooding mood, and the nanny had broken it open for a short time before he’d told himself to get out of the room, to resist a situation he just couldn’t handle.
Now he looked at the box she had sent for him to open, and like that chest, he wished he could just keep it closed.
But since he had a feeling about what was inside, he took off the lid.
The R2-D2 tie.
He tossed the box lid to the seat. Damn that woman. She’d probably found it where he’d placed it on the kitchen counter last night.
Legs or not, she was making his life hell.
Zane caught Monty’s gaze in the rearview mirror just before the driver looked away.
The rest of the ride was like a session in a torture chamber, with the world’s most invisible, cutting, self-inflicted weapons. Zane went back and forth between cursing himself for blowing it with Livie today and thinking that he should just send her back home, until Monty pulled up to his townhouse, with its luxurious, sleek façade that didn’t offer even a hint of the darkness inside.
They would be waiting in there for him: Livie, with those eyes that slayed Zane every time he saw them. And Melanie Grandy—who had quite a way of killing him softly, too.
Dammit.
He took off his Armani tie and put on the R2-D2 one, feeling like an ass, but not just because he was wearing a cartoon character on his chest.
Then Zane got out of the car, held up a hand to thank Monty and watched his driver pull away in a stream of red taillights.
He ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath and entered his home, thinking that he’d never been so cautious about coming into his own doggone place before the nanny had arrived.
Standing in the foyer, he set down his briefcase, listening for any signs of life. No TV. No clanging around in the kitchen.
He went back outside to check the stand-alone garage, to see if Melanie’s designated Tall Oaks Volvo was still there where he’d parked it for her, last night before retiring.
Present and accounted for.
When he wandered back inside, ready to capitulate and call her cell phone, he heard something floating down from the stairway.
Laughter.
The roof terrace, he thought, his veins going taut as he took in the sound. It rang through him, and for a forbidden moment, he allowed it to settle.
What would it be like to have a house that sounded like this all the time?
Then reality returned. He had to go up to the roof, and the minute they saw him the laughter would stop.
Okay, you’re a man, he told himself. Face the consequences.
He straightened the R2-D2 tie and climbed the stairs, following the laughter—actually drawn to it, as he’d been last night, when it had filled this house.
When it had even filled something else that he wasn’t sure he could define.
Arriving at the roof, he found them sitting in lounge chairs that faced the Dallas skyline. The river sparkled in the late afternoon sunshine. They’d turned on the small rock waterfall near the hot tub, and the splash of it mingled with Melanie’s voice as she told Livie some story about a time she’d gone waterskiing.
“I never drank so much water as I did that day on the lake,” she said at the end of her tale. “I had a stomachache for hours afterward.”
Livie was giggling and sipping from a straw in a glass that looked to be full of milk. Her gaze was fixed on her nanny, as if she were the most incredible thing to drop from the sky since stardust.
As Zane watched them, his stomach ached with something sharp and empty stabbing it.
When was the last time Livie had looked at him that way?
Last night, he thought. And he hadn’t returned the affection.
Worst father ever, he thought again, taking no pride in this accomplishment.
He felt like such a nothing, all he wanted to do was change the perception—even if it were just for the final hours of Father’s Day.
He cleared his throat and both females looked back, Livie watching him, her gaze wounded.
And Melanie?
She was watching him, too, but she looked about ready to throttle him. Yet, how could he be offended when she was angry for the sake of his daughter?
“I apologize,” he said, “for missing our date. I lost track of time.”
The excuse didn’t hold any water at all. In fact, with the way the nanny was visually shooting bullets at him, his words seemed punctured.
He continued. “Livie, I know how much you wanted me there.”
Her gaze had come to rest on his tie. That darn R2-D2-riddled tie.
And lo and behold, she smiled. An injured smile, to be sure, but at least he’d done something right today.
Thanks to Melanie, he reluctantly admitted to himself.
The nanny saw the tie, too, but that didn’t change her expression. “We understand. Work’s important.”
Yes, it is, he wanted to say, but he didn’t. It didn’t seem so true right now.
They were both still sitting in their lounge chairs, their bodies slanted toward the skyline, as if they knew better than to commit to turning all the way toward him.
“We had fun, Daddy,” Livie said. “Ms. Grandy made peanut butter and jelly starfish sandwiches. And we shared oranges with Sheree and Tammy.”
Zane almost flinched. Even after what he’d done, his daughter was still talking to him as if he hadn’t screwed up?
“Sheree and Tammy are neighbor girls,” the nanny said, grinning at Livie. “Their mom told me that they’re six and seven years old, almost twins with Livie.”
“And they have American Girl dolls, too!” his daughter added.
They laughed again, and Zane wished he could join in.
But he could—couldn’t he?
Even though he wondered, he knew that he would have to make it up to Livie somehow, because having her go back to Austin just after he’d pulled the rug out from under her was unthinkable.
Distance was fine, he told himself. It was subtle. But this afternoon he’d done something cruel—and he even wondered if he’d done it subconsciously, because he knew that going to the park would lead to daytrips and that would lead to week-long trips, and…
He stopped himself, vowing to give them a great night instead. Afterward, they could all go back to where they belonged, feeling the better for it.
“We’re going to do something else right now,” he said. “So why don’t you get yourselves up so we can go?”
Now Livie swung her legs to the side of her chair, and Zane smiled.
“Where’re we going, Daddy?”
“To a place that’ll make you real happy. Trust me on that.”
As his daughter clapped her hands, he couldn’t help but notice that Melanie wasn’t applauding at all.
Melanie had always told herself that she couldn’t be bought off, but as she stood in front of the mirror of the personal shopper’s boutique in Westenra’s, a high-class department store in the swanky Garden Faire Mall, she wasn’t so sure.
“Gorgeous,” said the sales associate as she adjusted the skirt of the sea-blue cocktail dress that Melanie was trying on. “It compliments your eyes, hair and skin tone. You look like a movie star!”
In back of Melanie, Livie glanced up from her picture book from where she was sitting on the leather sofa. Zane had already bought her a bunch of stuff at a bookstore.
“Oh, Ms. Grandy,” Livie said. “You’re bea-u-ti-ful.”
Melanie smiled at her while avoiding looking at Zane, who was sitting right next to his daughter.
“We’ll take this last dress, too,” he said.
Ecstatic at the commission she’d rung up, the personal shopper scooped up the six other outfits her client had tried on and flitted off, leaving Melanie alone in the mirror.
She tried not to give in to the lure of all this, but at the sight of herself she went a little dreamy. She looked like she’d found a glass slipper, but like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, she knew this was only transient.
Still…
Zane Foley seemed to catch her doubt. “That dress is all yours, if you want, just like the other outfits you’ve tried on.”
Yes, she wanted. And…darn him, he knew. She could tell from the contented way he was sitting there, taking it all in, as if this made up for his ditching Livie this afternoon.
Melanie ran her hand over the silk of the dress’s haltered neckline. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe he’d lost track of time at the office. Oh, yes, she truly had faith in that. And that was the problem.
He would always lose track at the expense of Livie unless something was done about it.
Turning around, she faced him, and once again she was thrown off by his mere presence. The dark hair that seemed slightly ruffled from a long day. The hazel eyes that were even now stroking over her and making her get butterflies in her tummy.
And the R2-D2 tie.
He was still wearing it, and she couldn’t help but appreciate that, even if she’d pushed it on him.
“Mr. Foley, I don’t think—”
“Stop with the polite refusals,” he said. “As Livie’s nanny, you need to look the part.”
“You already told me that.”
She shot him a glance that said the rest: and this has no connection to how you win over people? With how you buy Livie all those dolls instead of showing up to be with her every once in a while?
She couldn’t say it out loud. Not with Livie here, even if the child had gone back to reading her books.
“Besides,” Melanie continued, “I’m guessing that Livie and I probably won’t be attending many cocktail parties together.”
He leaned forward, and as those butterflies painted the lining of her belly with flutters, she almost touched her stomach, calming them.
Chasing them away.
“Okay, maybe I’m aiming for more than appearances,” he said quietly.
He left it at that.
But what did he mean? Was he using these dresses as a means to thank her for what she’d done for Father’s Day?
She searched his gaze for more of a hint, and when she didn’t find any, she looked further for a shade of dishonesty.
None of that either, but she had to turn back to the mirror, because he made her feel like a hypocrite.
Talk about dishonesty.
She ran a hand down the dress. Classy—so unlike the former showgirl or lower-class daughter whose family skimmed the poverty line.
But even in this dress, the old days still seemed to cling to Melanie, refusing to let go, no matter how hard she was trying.
The secret of her past levered down on her as, in the mirror, she saw Zane Foley come to a stand. He whispered something to Livie, and the girl sprang to her feet, clutching her books.
“We’ll be back soon,” he said as he began walking away with his daughter.
Melanie gave him a quizzical look in the mirror.
He smiled, and it ripped through her, upending every cell in its wake.
“We’re headed for the pièce de résistance,” he said, glancing down at Livie, who gazed back at him adoringly. “There’s a massive Toys ‘R’ Us store that rivals the one in Times Square, and I thought Livie might have some fun there.”
“But…” Melanie began.
By now, his daughter was tugging him away, and he actually seemed amused by that.
