Put It Out There

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I shoved his shoulder as I walked past him. “You’re not my brother. Stop acting like you are.”

He seemed offended that I didn’t appreciate his surveillance work and his tone changed. “I’m just making sure you’re safe.”

I stopped and spun around. “You’re going to be at the party with us, remember? How much safer can I be?”

He smirked. “Well, unless you want me to tag along on all your dates, he’d better be a nice guy who treats you right.”

My own dad wouldn’t have even been so nosey. Trevor was only two years older than me, and I didn’t appreciate his attitude. With a snarky tone that I usually only reserved for my mom, I said, “Why don’t you worry about your own life and leave me out of it? Thanks anyway.” At first I felt guilty for being rude, but after he grinned at me in a self-satisfied way, I stormed out. Fortunately, Steve had already arrived in a white Ford Explorer. He hopped out and met me at the passenger-side door. I waited for him to open the door, but he didn’t move.

He looked confused. “Doesn’t your dad want to meet me first?”

“My dad’s dead,” I said, way too abruptly because I was still flustered by Trevor’s meddling. Once I heard my own words, tears built up along my eyelashes. “Shit.” I bit my lip to try to prevent the downpour.

Steve’s face drained of all colour and his weight shifted as if he might fall down. “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I said that. I knew your dad was—I mean, I know that’s why you were gone for a year. I blanked. I’m such an idiot. Sorry,” he murmured. “Does your mom want to meet me?”

I grimaced and blinked slowly, which made the tears drip over the edge of my eyelashes. “My mom doesn’t live with me. She’s still in Vancouver.”

Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He pressed his lips together as if he didn’t want to say anything else that might make things even worse. I turned my head to look back at Trevor. He was about five feet away and obviously heard the whole thing. As soon as he saw I was crying, he walked over, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my head into his chest. His protectiveness made me cry harder. He hugged me for a while, then leaned his head down to whisper, “Your grandpa will want to meet your date. I’ll go get him.”

Trevor went back into the Inn and I wiped my palms across my cheeks. “Sorry,” I sputtered.

“No, I’m sorry,” Steve said quickly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

The new Derian wasn’t supposed to break down in tears every time someone mentioned her dad. First attempt didn’t go that well.

My granddad rushed out the front door of the Inn and waved his arms around eagerly. “Here I am. Let’s meet this young man who’s taking Derian to a party.”

I had to smile a little because my granddad looked cute with his white wispy hair flipping up on top of his head as he hustled to greet Steve. They shook hands and Steve answered a few questions. Trevor stood near the Inn door and gave me a look to see if I was okay. I mustered a smile and mouthed, Thank you.

I hugged my granddad and waved at Trevor, then got into the Explorer. Steve closed my door and jogged around the back to the driver’s side. We didn’t talk as we pulled out onto the highway and headed to Squamish. I could feel him glance over at me repeatedly. The reason I wasn’t prepared for Steve to pick me up for a real date was because I tried to pretend it wasn’t a real date. As far as I was concerned, we were going out as friends. I should have psyched myself and briefed my granddad to play the role of my absent parents.

“You look nice,” he finally broke the silence.

“Thanks.” I studied him with more attention. He had on jeans and a white dress shirt rolled at the sleeves. His blond hair was pushed back off his face in a different style than he wore at school. It suited him better. “I like your hair like that.”

He blinked exaggeratedly, embarrassed. “My sister forced me to let her do it. I wouldn’t normally admit to something like that, but she’s going to be at the party and I can pretty much guarantee she’s going to find a way to tell you that she styled it for me.”

“It looks cute, but I’ll tell her it doesn’t if you want me to.”

He smiled at my offer to back him up. “If you really do like it, I might wear it this way sometimes.”

I inhaled deeply and rubbed my palms along my thighs. I tried to remind myself there was nothing to be nervous about. He was just my friend who I goofed around with at student council meetings. I grew up around Trevor and Murphy and I hung out with Doug and his friends all the time. A guy was a guy. A date didn’t change that. Only, it kind of felt like it did.

“Are you okay?” He looked seriously concerned.

“I get a bit uncomfortable driving on the highway ever since my dad’s accident. If you drive the speed limit I’ll feel better.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He eased up on the accelerator and slowed down.

“Do you dance?” I asked to shift the conversation away from my anxieties.

“Uh, not well. Why? Is that a prerequisite?”

I shrugged because I didn’t have a boyfriend prerequisite list, at least not that I knew of. “It’s more fun to watch Sophie and the guys if you dance.”

“Well, then we’ll dance—or you’ll dance and I’ll try not to look like an idiot.”

I laughed and relaxed a little for the rest of the drive. He was chatty, and there was no lull in the conversation once we were both feeling more comfortable. The party was at a huge house in Squamish to celebrate the nineteenth birthday of a girl who had gone to our school. Her name was Brandi. I didn’t know her that well, but Steve’s sister was her best friend. He’d known her most of his life.

The house was already packed with people when we arrived. The band hadn’t started playing yet, so music cranked out of a stereo system. I spotted Sophie in the corner, setting up the extension cord for her mic. “I’ll be right back.” I squeezed Steve’s hand, then walked over to Sophie and shouted in her ear, “Kill it!”

“You know it!” she yelled back. “How’s it going with Steve?”

“Okay.” I tucked my hair behind my ears.

“Uh-oh, only okay?”

“We got off to a rough start because he asked if my dad wanted to meet him.”

She inserted the mic into the stand and adjusted the angle. “What a moron. Did you start bawling?”

“Yes.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing. Trevor was there, so he gave me a big hug and went to get my granddad.”

Sophie’s lips curled into a sympathetic pout. “Trevor is so sweet.”

“He takes his big brother duties very seriously.” I dropped my purse and cardigan next to the drums with Sophie’s bag.

“Do something bold with Mason if you get the chance. You need to make a move.”

“No. I’m not going to hit on a stranger. Even if I wanted to, I’d have no clue how to do that.”

“Ask him to dance.”

“I’m technically on a date with someone else, remember?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Steve’s just a pawn. Keep your eye on the prize.”

Although chess was something I happened to be good at, I wasn’t interested in being the type of person who played with people’s feelings. I glanced around the party, feeling way out of my element. “I should probably get back to Steve before he thinks I ditched him.”

“Don’t forget you’re on for the last song of the first set.”

“No. Dirty Deri is not making an appearance tonight.”

“Have a few drinks, she’ll show up.” She laughed and shoved my shoulder. “Go back to your date. It’s not going to kill you to have some fun.”

I exhaled and walked back across the room towards Steve. He was with his sister and Brandi. They laughed. He smiled uncomfortably as if they had just teased him a little.

“Happy birthday, Brandi,” I said as I tucked in next to Steve.

“Thanks Derian. So you and Stevie, eh?” She pinched his cheek.

I didn’t know if it was supposed to be a question or a statement, so I just smiled.

Steve cleared his throat and said, “Derian, this is my sister Giselle.”

I sort of knew her from school. She used to be a cheerleader, but I had never formally met her before. I extended my hand to shake hers. “Nice to meet you.”

“How do you like Stevie’s new hairstyle?” She giggled as she held his chin and turned his head from side-to-side to show off her handiwork.

“I think it suits him.”

“See! I told you,” she shouted and shoved his chest, way too hyper.

“Okay,” Steve said as he shooed her away. “See you later. Sayonara. Adios. Bu-bye.”

Giselle and Brandi laughed at him, then wrapped their arms around each other and staggered away into the crowd as the band took their positions. Doug stepped up to the mic and Sophie sat down at the drums. She normally sang lead, but she played the drums for their opening number. Doug yelled in his deep, raspy punk voice, “Hit it!” The guys in the band stood in wide guitar stances with their heads hung and played in synchronization while Sophie pounded out the beat. The crowd went mental and slammed into each other in a mosh pit. Doug killed it and then passed the mic to Sophie for their second song, which was always Joan Jett because Sophie could make her voice sound awesomely raw like Joan’s.

“Do you want to dance?” Steve asked.

“Sure, the next one they play is one of my favourites. It’s a punked-out version of Joel Plaskett Emergency’s old-school classic “Nowhere With You.” Do you know it?”

“No, but if you can just jump around to it I should do all right.”

Steve was a not bad dancer and, surprisingly, I was actually having a good time. We danced for at least five songs before taking a break, and I didn’t even mind when he rested his hand on my waist as we walked off the dance floor.

“Do you want something to drink?” he shouted over the music.

Although Sophie suggested that a drink might help, I wasn’t a drinker. I tried a sip of my dad’s beer once, just to see what it was like. I didn’t like it, at all. Plus, I preferred to have all my faculties at my disposal, so I said, “Water would be great. Thanks.”

Steve nodded before he headed towards the kitchen, maybe slightly disappointed that I didn’t want to get drunk. Or maybe he didn’t care. I couldn’t tell. I leaned my back against the wall and looked around. Trevor and Murphy were on the other side of the room surrounded by a group of girls. They were always surrounded by a group of girls, but as far as I could tell, Trevor wasn’t dating anyone. He noticed me and tipped his glass. I waved at him, but then tucked my hair behind my ears and turned my focus towards the kitchen.

Steve held two bottles of water while he talked to Lisa Alvarez. She arched her back and flipped her long brown hair to flirt with him, the same way she acted with every member of the male species. I never understood why someone as pretty and smart as Lisa felt the need to be sleazy to get attention. I probably should have felt jealous, but I assumed she had a shitty home life or something, so I actually felt sorry for her. Steve chatted away with her, maybe oblivious to her tactics, or enjoying them.