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* * *
Laurie clung to the side of the driver’s bench, sure she’d tumble to the ground if they hit a bump. Tolley drove with understandable urgency, but he also skirted around the worst of the ruts and dips in the road. He obviously hadn’t lost his driving skill while in Boston. Aching sympathy rose up within her, accompanied by a pinch of shame over her poor attitude about coming to town to fetch him home.
While she couldn’t say for sure, it appeared Tolley had changed. Even before she delivered the bad news about the Colonel, Tolley’s gaze in her direction appeared softer, gentler than before. His countenance exuded some quality she couldn’t name. What she’d first regarded as belligerence in his posture now appeared to be vulnerability, especially in light of his father’s condition.
“What happened?” His question startled her out of her reverie.
“Nate said they found him unconscious in the barn last evening. I didn’t press him for details because he needed to get back to the ranch.”
Tolley kept his eyes on the road and gave her a curt nod. “Doc’s with him?”
“Yes.” Her brother-in-law, Doc Henshaw, was the most capable doctor in the San Luis Valley.
“If anyone could help the Colonel, it’s Doc.” Tolley smiled, and Laurie’s heart warmed at his attempt at problem-solving. But then, he’d always been that way, from trying to fix her broken corncob doll to trying to figure out how to build a bridge over Cat Creek. Once again, shame pinched at her conscience for assuming the worst about him. Since Tolley’s childhood, his father had heaped condemnation on him, sometimes warranted, sometimes not. Laurie needn’t add her own disapproval.
Four Stones Ranch lay about six miles south of Esperanza. Even at a brisk trot, it took over twenty minutes to traverse the distance. Tolley turned down Four Stones Lane and drove into the barnyard at the back of the house. His brother Rand, an older version of Tolley and second oldest of the four Northam children, came out to meet them just as Tolley jumped down from the wagon.
“Tolley!” Rand shook his brother’s hand and slapped him on the back as if nothing was wrong. “Good to see you. Welcome home.”
Tolley gave him a shaky grin. “I wish it could be under better circumstances.”
“Rand, is there anything I can do?” Laurie remained on the driver’s bench, knowing what his answer would be but still needing to offer. Her pa had come over here once they got the news of his old friend’s illness, but he must’ve left already, for his horse wasn’t tied to the back hitching rail.
“Thanks, Laurie, but no. The whole family’s inside. You’ve been a big help by bringing this maverick home.”
Did he even notice Tolley’s wince at his teasing? Probably not. His own face bore a worried look. The two men unloaded the trunks and said their goodbyes.
“We’ll be praying for you all.” Laurie took up the reins and guided the team toward the lane. A glance back toward the house revealed two dejected brothers heading inside, shoulders slumped with sorrow.
Tolley had changed. She just knew it. And even if no one else noticed the difference in him, she’d try her best to help him find his place in the community. “It’ll have to be pretty fast, Lord.” She glanced up at the clear blue sky. “I’m going back to Denver in September, so please help me be the friend Tolley needs until then.”
As always when she discussed the subject of returning to Denver with the Lord, an uneasy feeling crept into her chest. She dismissed it, as always. Of course the Lord wanted her to return to that lovely, growing city. As the daughter of a successful cattle rancher, she’d fit into Denver society like a hand in a glove, and she could hardly wait to begin her teaching career at the conservatory.
* * *
Leaving his hat on a peg in the mudroom, Tolley moved through the house in a daze. Familiar smells met his senses: fresh-baked bread, leather, Mother’s roses. His seven-year-old niece, Lizzie, grabbed him around the waist and cried out a weepy welcome. He bent down to return her hug. The other children were nowhere in sight, but they wouldn’t know him anyway. His oldest brother, Nate, came downstairs and shook Tolley’s hand. Their sister, Rosamond, embraced him and sobbed briefly on his shoulder. His two sisters-in-law and one brother-in-law each greeted him. From their warm if subdued responses, he thought he’d said the right thing to each one.
He climbed the front staircase on wooden legs, fearing what he’d find at the end of the second-floor hallway. Gathering courage, he nudged the door open.
Mother rose to greet him. “Tolley.” She spoke his name as if he’d only come in from milking the cows, at the same time moving between him and the four-poster bed where the Colonel lay. But Mother was too short to hide Tolley’s view of the motionless figure lying there, his full bush of dark hair shot through with far more strands of white than when Tolley left home. He pulled her into a gentle embrace and kissed the top of her head.
“How is he?” He whispered the question, even though the Colonel appeared beyond hearing. The old man’s eyes were closed, and his complexion, weathered to a deep tan by a lifetime in the sun, bore a gray pallor.
She sniffed and dabbed her cheeks with a handkerchief. “Still with us. Doc gives us hope—” She choked on the word.
A movement on his right caught his attention.
“Welcome home, Tolley.” Doc Henshaw stepped near him and reached out to shake his hand. “Let’s go out to the hall.” Still gripping Tolley’s hand, he urged him out of the room as though he had no right to be there. “I’ve reason to believe he can hear, so it’s best to discuss his condition out here,” he whispered.
Breaking away from Doc, Tolley couldn’t keep anger from his voice. “Are my brothers and Rosamond allowed to see him?”
Doc gave him a sad smile, but didn’t answer.
“Why can’t I see him? If he can hear, can’t I tell him I’m home?”
“Soon enough. I’m still assessing his condition.” Doc clapped him gently on the shoulder. “Why don’t you settle in? You must be tired from your trip.”
Every instinct told him to force his way back into the sickroom so he could see for himself how his father fared. But instinct had been his worst enemy while he grew up, getting him into more scrapes than he could remember. Old Reverend Harris in Boston taught him to be more thoughtful and to take more time to make decisions.
“All right.” He turned away from the now-closed door. Didn’t Mother even want to see him? To welcome him home with more than a brief embrace?
He walked down the hallway to his bedroom and opened the door.
“Shh.” Rita, the family housekeeper, rose from a rocking chair and hurried toward him. “The little ones are sleeping, Senor Tolley.” Whispering, she waved a hand toward two small heads at rest on his pillow and a cradle holding a red-haired doll that must be Rand’s new daughter. “Senora Northam uses this room as the nursery now. The children often come here.”
Tolley’s knees threatened to buckle. So he couldn’t even find refuge in his old bedroom. Even his belongings were nowhere in sight. “I see. Very well.” He backed out into the hallway and made his way downstairs to the front parlor, where the others had gathered.
His brothers had made no move to bring his trunks inside. In fact, the moment he entered the room, they traded guarded looks. Nate cleared his throat.
“This all happened very suddenly, Tolley. Last night, when we heard about the Colonel’s...illness, Rand and I agreed we needed to move our families here so we can run the ranch and our wives can run the house. Then Mother won’t have to worry about a thing. We moved here this morning and, as you can see, it sort of makes for a full house.”
Rosamond, always the protective big sister, came over and looped her arm in his. “We expected you to stay in Boston for another year.” Compassion filled her voice, making him uncomfortable. “To finish your schooling.”
“I did finish.” He lifted his chin defensively and continued before they could ask questions. “I wrote to the Colorado attorney general in Denver. Judge Thomas sent me the paperwork, and based on my performance at Harvard, he’s accepted me into the Colorado judicial system. That’s more than a whole lot of so-called lawyers achieve all over the West where there’s no accountability. A lot of men hang out a shingle without even having any training.”
Why did he always feel the need to defend himself, despite being twenty-two years old? It didn’t seem to matter how much he’d accomplished; they still treated him like the baby of the family. Wouldn’t they ever let him grow up? “I wrote to Mother about coming, but I asked her not to say anything. I wanted to surprise everyone else.”
Silence filled the room. His brother-in-law, Garrick, joined Rosamond and took her hand. “Sweetheart, let’s have Tolley stay at the hotel until everything returns to normal.” His English accent no longer irritated Tolley, but his suggestion needled him. Moving to the hotel would be another way to separate him from his family during this terrible crisis.
“Maybe Mrs. Foster has an empty room.” Marybeth spoke up. She’d lived in the widow’s boardinghouse before she married Rand. “It’ll be much homier than the hotel.” The pretty Irish lady gave Tolley a warm, sisterly smile, and the red curls around her ivory face momentarily reminded him of Laurie Eberly. Right now, he’d appreciate having Laurie around. At least she’d welcomed him home.
Because Marybeth meant well with her suggestion, Tolley couldn’t fault her. Yet he remembered both she and Susanna actually employed deceit with the entire family when each one first came to Esperanza. Of course, after considerable turmoil in both cases, they’d ended up marrying his brothers, but not until after each one asked for forgiveness. Why could they be forgiven for their wrongdoing, but he couldn’t? Why was he always the one on the outside?
“Sure.” He infused his voice with as much energy as he could. “I’ll go into town right now and see if Mrs. Foster has a room.” He headed for the back door, where he’d dropped his carpetbag. He’d saddle Thor to ride to town and leave his trunks for the cowhands to bring later. For now, he couldn’t wait to get away. No matter how his heart ached over his family’s rejection, he’d do what was best for everyone.
He strode across the barnyard toward the weathered barn. A tiny figure in a blue gingham dress stood outside the main corral. Little Lizzie peered through the slats at the horses milling about. At least Lizzie had given Tolley a heartfelt welcome when he arrived.
“Hey, sprout, what’s up?” He started to tousle her hair, but that would mess up her perfect blond braid. Instead, he patted her head.
She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. “Uncle Tolley, is Grampa going to die?”
Tolley swallowed hard. “Naw. He’s too tough. Say, have you learned to ride yet?” He grabbed her waist and lifted her up to sit on the top rail, which brought on a bout of giggles, just as he’d hoped.
“No, sir.” Lizzie’s blue eyes turned sad again. “Mama says I’m too young.”
“Too young?” Tolley stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Aren’t you about twenty-five?”
“Uncle Tolleeeee!” She giggled again, as he’d hoped she would. “I’m seven.”
“My, my. All grown up.”
“Besides, nobody has time to teach me.” She sighed and looked at him with those big blue eyes.
“You little rascal.” Tolley laughed for the first time since he’d gotten off the train, a true belly laugh. “Maybe I’ll have time to teach you.” Especially since his family didn’t seem to need him for anything else.
“Would you please?” Lizzie launched herself off the rail and flung her arms around his neck, almost knocking him to the ground.
He laughed again and managed to catch her up in a firm hug without falling down.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” An angry male voice accompanied the thump of boots on the hard-packed yard.
Still holding on to Lizzie, Tolley turned to see Seamus O’Brien, Marybeth’s brother and the Northams’ ranch foreman, stalking toward him, fists bunched at his sides. As Tolley set Lizzie down, Seamus stopped and blinked.
“Tolley? Well, of all things. I’m glad to see it’s you. I was worried somebody was about to carry off our little Lizzie.” He reached out and shook Tolley’s hand.
“Uncle Seamus, you’re so silly.” Lizzie spied one of the barn cats and danced away to catch it. “Here, kitty.”
“How’re you doing, Tolley?” Seamus gave him a respectful smile, no longer looking at him as if he were a troublemaking youngster. Which, of course, he had been, driving all the cowhands crazy with his pranks and dragging a few of them into trouble with him.
“Not bad.” He couldn’t exactly tell this man his family had just the same as run him off. Being Rand’s brother-in-law, he’d deny it...or make excuses for them. “I thought I’d saddle Thor and ride him into town.”
“Um, I see.” Seamus’s face crinkled up with perplexity.
“What’s going on? Has something happened to my horse?” Tolley’s stomach turned. He doubted he could stand any more bad news.
“Nothing like that.” Seamus shrugged. “Last month the Colonel sent him over to the Eberly place for stud purposes. George wants some of that Thoroughbred blood in his herd.”
Tolley sagged with relief. The Colonel and George Eberly had settled here at the same time with plans to help each other build their large spreads. The Colonel made it no secret he wanted Nate or Rand to marry one of the five Eberly girls. When they’d married other ladies, all such talk ceased, of course. Once again, the idea that he should marry Laurie crept into his thoughts. Of course, he could only offer her a marriage of convenience, but—No, he must stop such foolish thinking, even if it would give him one more way to impress the Colonel when...if...he recovered.
Tolley forced his thoughts in another direction. “Seamus, if my old saddle is still in the barn, I’d like to ride over and visit Thor.” And Laurie. But he wouldn’t say that out loud. “You tell me which horse I should take.”
“How about Gypsy?”
Tolley winced. He owed the bay mare a big apology. Maybe he could make amends to her today. Did Seamus remember what Tolley did to her? “Gypsy’s fine.”
The Irishman grinned. “You remember how to saddle a horse?”
“I think I can manage.” If Gypsy would even let him near her after the last time he put a saddle on her.
* * *
Laurie tried to peel the potatoes, but the dull kitchen knife sliced too deeply. She dried her left hand and reached for the whetstone on the shelf beside the table.
“Now, now.” Ma grabbed the slender stone and gently took the knife from Laurie. “You gotta take care of those hands, darlin’. I can peel the vegetables.”
Laurie hid her quiet sigh of frustration. In the two weeks since she’d returned home, if she worked here in the kitchen or dusted the parlor or washed her laundry, either Ma or Georgia moved her aside and took over. Why did they pamper her as though she were a delicate doll who needed protection?
At least she’d been allowed to drive into town and fetch poor Tolley from the train, but only because she and Pa were the only ones around when Nate arrived with the sad news about the Colonel. Pa hurried over to Four Stones Ranch to see his friend while Nate helped her hitch up the team. She’d had no trouble driving. True, her hands still ached from wearing cotton gloves instead of leather, but they weren’t really hurt.
How could she keep from boredom for the entire summer on this busy ranch if she wasn’t permitted to lift a finger to work? In Denver, the ladies with whom she’d socialized did charity work when not engaged in teas or parties. At the least, they sewed for the poor, another thing Ma wouldn’t permit. “Why don’t you go practice piano?”
The perfect diversion. Laurie loved to play and looked forward to giving concerts when she returned to Denver. Seated at the piano by the parlor’s front window, she found the simple act of practicing her scales helped to work some of the ache from her fingers. Then she thumbed through her hymnal and practiced her favorite hymns to refresh her memory in case Mrs. Foster asked her to play for church.
A movement outside the window caught her eye. To her surprise, Tolley rode down the lane toward the barnyard. What could he be doing here?
Her heart skipped, then dropped. Did he bring bad news about his father? But wouldn’t they send a cowhand instead of a family member if Pa’s dear friend had died? Wouldn’t the family want to gather together and comfort one another?
Laurie dashed through the house to the back door, seeing through the glass that Tolley had dismounted and tied his horse to the back hitching rail. Her heart pounded, no doubt from the short run. After all, in Denver she’d never run. Ladies didn’t, after all. And of course her haste accounted for her inability to breathe as Tolley approached the house.
She flung open the back door. “Tolley! Is everything all right?”
He gave her that dangerous smile, which surely gave other girls palpitations. Not her, of course, because she knew him too well. As he came closer, she saw the pain in his eyes, and all thoughts of his good looks disappeared, replaced by the compassion she’d felt for him on the ride from town.
“Tolley, what is it?”
“Aw, nothing. Just wanted to get reacquainted with my horse. Is he in the barn or out in a pasture?” His false good humor didn’t fool her.
She touched his arm. “Is everything all right at home?”
His smile slipped. “If you call having to find someplace to live because there’s no room at the ranch for me ‘all right,’ then yes, everything’s fine.”
“No place to live in your family’s home?” She couldn’t keep the indignation from her voice. “Why on earth?”
There was that smile again. “Aw, it’s all right. Doc says the Colonel is likely to recover, so I don’t need to stay close in case he—” He cleared his throat. “My brothers and their wives need to be close by to help our folks, so it takes up all the bedrooms. Besides, I need to live in town so I can set up my law practice.”
He didn’t fool her. His hurt feelings were obvious. But she wouldn’t contradict him. “So, your sister’s hotel or Mrs. Foster’s boardinghouse?” She punctuated her words with raised eyebrows and a silly grin, something she never would’ve offered any Denver acquaintance, either gentleman or lady.
He responded with a genuine laugh. “You know our town.” And offered a charming shrug. “I’ll try Mrs. Foster’s first. More homey. Better cooking.”
Laurie returned a gentle laugh. “So true. Although you may want to try Chef Henrique’s French cuisine at the hotel.”
“No, just give me a juicy steak or chicken and dumplings any day.” He closed his eyes. “Mmm-mmm.”
A hint? The aroma of cooking chicken wafted through the open window. “You can stay for dinner.”
“Naw, I’d better head into town and find out where I’ll be staying tonight. But thanks.”
“Well, then, let’s find Thor.”
The stallion grazed in a near pasture, and she sent a cowhand to fetch him. The horse pranced majestically on his lead rope, but when he spied Tolley, he whinnied and broke away, cantering toward them. Lowering his head and rubbing against Tolley’s chest, the magnificent beast acknowledged his master and friend. Eyes closed, Tolley pressed his head against Thor’s.
The meeting between horse and man moved Laurie to tears. Maybe Tolley’s family had no room for him, but his faithful horse gave him a welcome any cowboy would envy.
He needed a friend, so she’d be that person. Only she mustn’t revive her foolish childhood affections for him. She’d noticed romances couldn’t be successful if built on sympathy. Besides, she’d found her place in Denver and would return there in the fall, so she must keep her heart reined in.
That bothersome, undefined reservation about Denver crept into her mind, but as always, she dismissed it. It was her dream, after all.
Chapter Two (#ulink_37802937-7283-51f3-94c7-c1e9335788d2)
