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Twisting to the left so he could see her, he said, “Mind if I ask you a question?”
Wearing the red flannel and denim that seemed so much a part of her, Lindsey sat in an old-fashioned wooden porch swing sipping her cola. A partially eaten ham sandwich rested at her side. Sushi lay in front of her, exercising mammoth restraint as she eyed the sandwich longingly.
“Ask away.” With dainty movements, Lindsey tore off a piece of ham and tossed it to the dog.
“What would entice a pretty young woman to live out here all alone and become a Christmas-tree farmer?”
The corners of her eyes crinkled in amusement as she wiped her fingers on her jeans. Jesse’s stomach did that clenching thing again.
“I didn’t exactly plan to be a Christmas-tree farmer. It just happened. Or maybe the Lord led me in this direction.” One hand gripping the chain support, she tapped a foot against the porch and set the swing in motion. “My parents are in the military so we moved around a lot. When I was fourteen—” she paused to allow a wry grin. “Let’s just say I was not an easy teenager.”
Surprised, Jesse swiveled all the way around, bringing one boot up to the top step. Lindsey was always so serene, so at peace. “I can’t see you causing anyone any trouble.”
“Believe me, I did. Dad and Mom finally sent me here to live with my grandparents. They thought stability, the same school, the country atmosphere and my grandparents’ influence would be good for me. They were right.”
“So you didn’t grow up here?” Now he was very interested.
Lindsey shook her head, honey-colored hair bouncing against her shoulders, catching bits of light that spun it into gold. Odd that he would notice such a thing.
“Actually none of my family is originally from around here. My grandparents bought this farm after they retired. Gramps began the Christmas Tree Farm as a hobby because he loved Christmas and enjoyed sharing it with others.”
Jesse decided to steer the conversation toward her grandparents and their purchase of the farm, feeling somewhat better to know Lindsey had not been involved in what had happened eighteen years ago.
“How long did your grandparents own this place?”
“Hmm.” Her forehead wrinkled in thought. “I’m not sure. They’d probably been here three or four years when I came. I’ve lived here nearly fifteen years.”
Jesse did the math in his head. The time frame fit perfectly. He rotated the Coke can between his palms then tapped it against his upraised knee. So her grandfather had been the one.
“Did you have any idea who your grandfather bought this place from?” As soon as he asked, Jesse wanted his words back. The question was too suspicious, too far off the conversation, but if Lindsey noticed she said nothing.
“I haven’t a clue. All I know is after Granny passed away, Gramps put the farm and everything on it into my name. By then, I wanted to live here forever, so other than bringing me to a faith in Jesus, this was the greatest gift they could have given me.”
The too-familiar tug of guilt irritated Jesse. He had no reason to feel bad for her. She’d enjoyed the benefit of living here for years while he’d wandered around like a lost sheep. Only during his too-short time with Erin had he ever found any of the peace that hovered over Lindsey like a sweet perfume. And he was counting on this farm to help him find that feeling again.
“So you became a tree farmer like your grandfather.”
Stretching backward, Lindsey ran both hands through the top of her hair, lifted the sides, and let them drift back down again. Jesse found the motion as natural and appealing as the woman herself.
“I tried other things. Went to college. Became a lab tech. Then Sean and I—” She paused, and two spots of color stained her cheekbones. “Let’s just say something happened in my personal life. So, when Gramps passed away three years ago, I couldn’t bring myself to let the tree farm go. After that first year of doing all the things he’d taught me and of watching families bond as they chose that perfect Christmas tree, I understood that this was where my heart is.”
Though curious about the man she’d mentioned, Jesse decided to leave the subject alone. Knowing about her love life would only make his task more difficult. “So you gave up your job to dedicate all your time to the farm.”
“I still take an occasional shift at the hospital and fill in for vacations in the summer to keep my skills sharp or to put a little extra money in the bank. But this is my life. This is what I love. And unless economics drive me out of business, I’ll raise Christmas trees right here on Gramps’ farm forever.”
Though she couldn’t possibly know his thoughts, to Jesse the announcement seemed like a challenge. Averting his eyes, he ripped off a piece of sandwich and tossed the bit of bread and ham to the dog.
Sushi thumped her tail in thanks.
“You spoil her more than I do.”
“Yeah.” He pointed his soda can toward the north. “We have visitors.”
A flock of geese carved a lopsided V against the sky, honking loudly enough to rival a rush-hour traffic jam.
“They’re headed to my pond.”
“And then to a vacation in Florida.”
Lindsey laughed and drew her knees up under her chin. “Watching them makes me feel lazy.”
“What’s on for this afternoon now that we’ve cleared that new plot of land?”
“Tomorrow we’ll need to go over to Mena and pick up the saplings I’ve ordered. So this afternoon I thought we’d get ready for the wienie roast.”
“Who’s having a wienie roast?”
“I am. Well, my church actually, but since I have such a great place for it, complete with a horse to give wagon rides, I host the party out here every fall. I hope you and Jade will come.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose.” In truth, the idea of hanging out with a bunch of church people made him sweat. He’d played that scene before, for all the good it had done him in the end.
“Trust me, after you drag brush for the campfire, whittle a mountain of roasting sticks and set up tables, chairs and hay bales, you will have earned a special place at this function.”
“I don’t know, Lindsey. I’m not sure I would fit in.”
Dropping her feet to the porch floor, Lindsey leaned forward, face earnest, hair swinging forward, as she reached out to touch his arm.
“Please, Jesse. Jade would have so much fun. And having a little fun now and then wouldn’t hurt you either.”
He was beginning to weaken. A wienie roast was not the same as going to church. And Jade would love roasting marshmallows over a campfire. More than that, it was high time he got moving on his mission.
Lindsey’s words echoed his thoughts. “Winding Stair is full of good people. The party would be a great opportunity for you to get acquainted with some of them.”
She was right about that. He needed to get friendly with the townsfolk. But not for the reasons she had in mind. He gulped the rest of his cola, taking the burn all the way to his stomach.
Somebody in this town had to know what had happened eighteen years ago. The more people trusted him, the sooner he could have his answers—and the sooner he and Jade could take possession of this farm.
Likely no one would remember him. Les Finch had not been a friendly man, and they’d kept to themselves up here in the mountains. As a boy, Jesse had been a quiet loner, preferring the woods to school activities. And his name was different from his mom and stepdad. His secret was, he believed, safe from the unsuspecting folk of Winding Stair.
He didn’t like playing the bad guy, but right was right. This was his home…and he intended to claim it.
Chapter Four
“Think this will be enough?”
At Jesse’s question, Lindsey dumped an armload of firewood into a huge oval depression in the ground. Dusting bark and leaves from the front of her jacket, she evaluated the stack of roasting sticks Jesse had piled next to a long folding table.
“How many do you have there? Fifty, maybe?”
He hitched one shoulder, distant and preoccupied as if whittling enough roasting sticks was the last thing on his mind. “Close.”
“That should do it.” She knelt beside the campfire pit and began to arrange the wood. “Some of the older boys like to make their own—especially when they have a girlfriend to impress.”
“It’s a man thing.” Jesse tossed the last stick onto the pile and snapped shut a pocketknife, which he then shimmied into his front jeans’ pocket. “I think we’re about set. What time will the guests arrive?”
“Sevenish. Some will meet at the church and bring the bus. Others will drift in at will throughout the evening.” Leaning back on her heels, she gazed up at him. The look on his face said he wanted to be a thousand miles away by then. “It’ll be fun, Jesse.”
Jade, who resided less than five feet from her daddy at all times, sat on a bale of hay munching an apple with childish contentment. One tennis-shoed foot was curled beneath her while the other beat a steady rhythm against the tight rectangle of baled grass.
“I never went to a wienie roast before,” she said.
She’d been ecstatic, hopping and dancing around her father like a puppy when he’d told her of the plans. Lindsey wished Jesse showed half that much enthusiasm.
“You’ll like it. We’ll play games and take a ride in the wagon and roast marshmallows.” Playfully bumping the child’s hip with her own, Lindsey sat down next to her. “You’ll need your coat. The temperature gets pretty cool after the sun goes down.”
Jesse propped a booted foot on the end of the bale next to Jade. He rubbed at his bottom lip, pensive. “We better head home and get cleaned up.”
Jade frowned at one palm and then the other. Apple juice glistened on her fingers. “I’m clean.”
Jesse shot Lindsey a wry glance. “Well, I’m not.” Scooping his daughter up into strong arms, he rubbed her nose with his. “And we’ll stop by the store for some marshmallows.”
The gap-toothed smile appeared. “Okay!”
He tossed Jade over his shoulder the way Lindsey had seen him do a dozen times. After a thoughtful pause, he said, “I guess we’ll see ya at seven then.”
Watching the enigmatic man and his child cross the yard, Lindsey experienced an uncomfortable sense of loss and loneliness. Given the number of times she’d asked him or Jade to church functions, she’d been pleasantly surprised when Jesse had agreed to come to the party. He’d been more than clear on a number of occasions that spiritual issues were on his no-call list.
Still, she had a funny feeling about Jesse’s decision to join tonight’s festivities. He’d been almost grim all afternoon while they’d made the preparations, as if the party was a nasty medicine to take instead of a pleasure to be enjoyed.
Going to release a resentful Sushi from her office confinement, Lindsey heard the roar of Jesse’s pickup truck fading into the distance and wondered if he would return at all.
By seven-thirty, friends of every age milled around the clearing along the back side of Lindsey’s farm, but there was no sign of Jesse and Jade. Disappointment settled over Lindsey like morning fog on a pond as she watched the driveway for the familiar silver-and-blue truck. The party would have been good for father and daughter. That’s why her disappointment was so keen, not because she missed their company, although she was too honest to deny that fact completely. Still, she had plenty of other friends around, and the party, as always, was off to a roaring start.
Beneath a full and perfect hunter’s moon, the scent of hickory smoke and roasting hotdogs circled over a crackling campfire. The night air, cool and crisp, meant jackets and hooded sweatshirts, many of which lay scattered about on hay bales or on the short browning grass as their owners worked up a sweat in various games.
A rambunctious group of teenagers and young adults played a game of volleyball at the nets she and Jesse had strung up. Smaller children played tag by lantern light or crawled over the wagonload of hay parked at an angle on the north end of the clearing. Most of the adults chatted and laughed together around the food table and a huge cattle tank filled with iced-down soda pop and bottled water.
“Where’s that hired hand of yours, Lindsey?” Pastor Cliff Wilson, standing with a meaty arm draped over the shoulder of his diminutive wife, was only a few years older than Lindsey. She still had difficulty believing that this gentle giant had once spent more time in the county jail for drinking and disturbing the peace than he did in church. Just looking at him reminded Lindsey and everyone else of the amazing redemptive power of Jesus’ love. “I thought we’d get to meet him tonight.”
“I did, too, Cliff,” she said. “But it looks like he backed out on coming. Jade will be so disappointed.” So was she. Jade needed the interaction, and though Jesse held himself aloof, he needed to mingle with people who loved and served God.
“Jade?” Cliff’s wife, Karen, spoke up. “What a pretty name. Is that his little girl?”
Karen and Cliff had yet to conceive and every child held special interest for the pastor’s wife.
“Yes. She’s adorable. A little shy at first, so if they do come, give her some time to warm up.” Lindsey took a handful of potato chips from a bag on one of the long folding tables and nibbled the salt from one. “Aren’t you two going to eat a hotdog?”
Karen laughed and hugged her husband’s thick shoulder. “Cliff’s already had three.”
The pastor rubbed his belly. “Just getting started.”
Downing a sizeable portion of cola, the minister slid two franks onto the point of a stick and poked it into the flames. “One for me, and one for my lady friend here.”
Lindsey smiled, admiring the open affection between the pastor and his wife.
“Come on, Lindsey.” Debbie Castor, the waitress at the Caboose Diner and one of Lindsey’s closest friends, had joined the volleyball game. “We need someone who can spike the ball. Tom’s team is waxing us.”
Tom was Debbie’s husband, and they loved competing against each other in good-natured rivalries.
“Okay. One game. I still haven’t had my hotdog yet.” To shake off her disappointment at Jesse’s absence, Lindsey trotted to the makeshift court. She was in good shape from the physical aspect of her job and was generally a good athlete, but tonight her mind wasn’t on the game. Up to now, Jesse had always kept his word, and she experienced a strange unease that something was amiss.
When Tom’s team easily defeated Debbie’s, she stood with hands on her knees catching her breath. “Sorry, guys. I wasn’t much help tonight. I must be losing my touch.”
“Maybe after you eat you’ll regain your former glorious form, and we’ll play another game.”
With a laugh, she said, “No deal, Tom. You just want to beat us again.”
“Right on, sister.” Tom teased, bringing his arms forward to flex like a body builder. Balding and bespectacled, the fireman fooled everyone with his small stature and mischievous nature. Only those who knew him understood how strong and athletic he really was.
Still grinning, Lindsey fell in step beside Debbie and headed back to the campfire. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Half a bag of Oreos,” Debbie admitted. “All I want lately is chocolate.” Leaning closer she whispered, “I think I’m pregnant again.”
Lindsey’s squeal was silenced by Debbie’s, “Shh. I don’t want Karen to hear until I’m sure. I wouldn’t want to hurt her.”
“Ah, Deb. She’s not like that. Karen will be happy for you.”
“But to see someone like me have an unplanned pregnancy when she can’t even have an intentional one must be difficult for her.”
Lindsey knew the pain of wanting, but never having children, and yet her joy for her friends was genuine.
“Does Tom know yet?”
Debbie nodded, her orange pumpkin earrings dancing in the firelight. “He’s still a little shell-shocked, I’m afraid. Finances are so tight already with the three we have, but he’ll come around.”
“You and Tom are such great parents. This baby will be the darling of the bunch, you wait and see. God always knows what He’s doing.”
“You’re right, I know, but it’s still a shock.” Looking around, she spotted Tom across the way. “I think I’ll go over and let the daddy-to-be pamper me awhile.”
Lindsey watched her friend snag another cookie as she sashayed around to the opposite side of the campfire where her husband waited. A twinge of envy pinched at her as she gazed at the group gathered on her farm. They were mostly couples and families, people who shared their lives with someone else. Even the teenagers paired up or hung together in mixed groups going through the age-old ritual of finding a partner.
Lindsey loved these people, liked attending functions with them, but times such as these made her more aware than ever of how alone she was.
To shake off the unusual sense of melancholy, Lindsey found a roasting stick and went in search of a frankfurter to roast. She had too much to be thankful for to feel sorry for herself. She’d chosen to live in this remote place away from her family where there were few unattached men her age. If the Lord intended for her to have a mate, He’d send one her way.
An unexpected voice intruded on her thoughts.
“Could you spare two of those for a couple of fashionably late strangers?”
