Uptown Girl

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‘At last,’ said Brice.

‘So you were in the ladies’ room,’ Elliot prompted.

‘Yeah. You know, I just wanted to be by myself for a minute; just long enough to get it all together again,’ Bina said. ‘So I fixed my makeup – and I still had to give the woman there a dollar, even though I hadn’t used the toilet – but I just looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Bina Horowitz, this is the night that’s going to change your life. Be nice and be happy.”’

‘Good for you,’ Kate said, though in the face of obvious tragedy to come.

‘So I get back to the table and Jack stands up. He always does it when we’re in a fancy restaurant. So he leans over to help me into my chair and …’ She gulped. ‘The ring box slipped out of his pocket. It was like a car accident in one of those movies. I saw it all happening in slow motion. The ring box fell over and over and over. The moment the box hits the floor, Jack lets go of my chair. The ring flies out of the box and he scrambles to retrieve it. I’m as frozen as a Swanson TV dinner, and I see the ring skid across the floor and that stupid bitch hostess bends all the way over and picks it up.’

‘Wow,’ was all Kate could say.

‘Wow, indeed,’ Brice added.

‘What did you do?’ asked Elliot.

‘I just sat there, like the turkey dinner that I am, and I realize that Jack, on the floor, can see up the woman’s skirt – well, it was so short and she bent right over. And not from the knees like you’re supposed to but from the waist. And she isn’t wearing any underwear.’

‘What?’ all three said in collective amazement.

‘None. And Jack is on the floor, looking straight up her – well, up her …’

‘We get the visual,’ Kate said.

‘So did Jack. Everyone was looking. I think that was when he lost his mind. It must have been then. So Jack manages to get off the floor and tear his eyes off that woman’s naked crotch and she turns around and hands him the ring. He stands up and puts it in his right pocket. Then he scoops up the box and puts it in his left one.’ Bina stopped for a moment and shook her head. ‘He walked back to the table.’ She turned to Kate. ‘I couldn’t stay happy anymore, Katie. I told Jack that if he was trying to make it a memorable evening, he was succeeding. I mean I could have smacked him, I was so mad. And you know what the asshole said?’

‘What now?’ Kate asked.

Bina, using her Jack voice again, said, ‘“This isn’t how I want to remember you, Bina.”’

‘Uh oh. Here it comes,’ Brice said.

‘Wait for it,’ Elliot warned him.

‘Please, you two – it’s like Tweedledee and Tweedle Very Dumb,’ Kate admonished. ‘Let the woman finish her story, which, I pray, is almost over.’

‘Almost,’ Bina said. ‘So, I was wondering which pocket my ring was in now. It made me think of that game, Kate, that my father would play with us when we were little girls. You know, when he would have surprises for us and we would have to guess which pocket they were in.’

Kate nodded, almost smiling in remembrance. Dr Horowitz had been so kind to her. He used to give his daughter her allowance every Sunday morning and since Kate’s father was usually sleeping one off on Sunday and rarely gave her money, Dr Horowitz always gave Kate the same allowance as well. A big Sunday event was going to the candy store and agonizing over Junior Mints or Bit O Honey. Not to mention the Betty and Veronica comics. Bina and her family were good people, and she hated hearing how she’d been subjected to this hurtful slapstick. But maybe the situation could be salvaged. After all, Bina and Jack had years of history and were made for each other. ‘So then what?’ she asked.

‘Well,’ Bina continued, ‘Jack then looked me in the eyes and said, “Bina, I have something I want to say to you.” And I’m thinking at least someday we’ll tell our grandchildren about all this and laugh! But then Jack says, “I have to be honest; Hong Kong is far away from here. Very far away.” Like I didn’t take geography, right? So I think maybe he’s going to want to elope. It would break my mother’s heart, and I want the dress and all, but I was like dying by now. I kept waiting for Jack to reach for the ring, but his hands are staying folded together on top of the table. He takes a deep breath, looks up to the ceiling, and says, “I think it would be unfair of me to leave and ask you to just wait for me.” I told him I agreed and I looked down at my hand to get my finger ready. But then he said, “I think this time apart might be a good chance for us to – well, for us to – I think this might be a good chance for us to explore our singleness.”’

‘I could kill him, Bina,’ Kate said.

‘Oh, me first,’ Brice added.

There was silence in the room. Kate, Elliot and Brice sat there with their mouths open wide, until Bina started sobbing again. All three snapped back into action. Kate moved closer on the sofa and held Bina. ‘Oh, honey,’ she said. Brice got up, took a cushion and put it under her feet as if she had internal bleeding. Elliot got up, went into the bathroom and returned with a wet towel, a glass of water and a blue pill. Ever neat – except in his clothes – he looked for a coaster. Before Kate could hand him one, he found a piece of cardboard.

‘Take this and drink all the water,’ he told her. Bina did as she was told without question.

‘What was that?’ Kate asked.

‘Oh, I just felt she needed a visit from cousin Valerie,’ Elliot told her. It was his code word for Valium, and Kate knew a blue one was ten milligrams.

‘She’ll sleep for a week,’ Kate said.

‘What a good time for that,’ Elliot told her.

‘Okay, Bina. Tell us what happened next.’

‘I just ran out,’ she said. ‘Well, ran as best I could in my heels. I went straight to your apartment, Katie, and when I couldn’t find you Max helped me. You can’t believe how hysterical I was.’ Kate silently disagreed with her on that. Bina blew her nose and continued. ‘Max was home. And he told me he thought you were out to dinner and where Elliot lived and I went straight there in the pouring rain and … Ohmigod!’

‘What! What is it, Bina?’ Kate asked. Had Bina had a bad reaction to the pill? ‘What is it?’

Bina reached over to the coffee table and picked up the coaster for the water. It was Bunny’s wedding invitation. ‘Bunny? Bunny is getting married?’ she asked.