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‘So you practise medicine out here?’
‘With Bedra’s help.’
It was Stockholm syndrome, Felicity told herself—where you fell in love with your captor. Only she’d loved him long before that, and every moment he intrigued her more.
‘It is like a mobile hospital,’ Karim explained. ‘I cannot practise any more at the hospital. It is not appropriate.’
‘But you trained as a surgeon.’ Felicity blinked. ‘You worked as a surgeon.’
‘I cannot be accessible to the people.’ He frowned at her, and she chose to stay silent—chose instead of arguing just to listen. After a long pause, Karim delivered perhaps his first honest admission. ‘I do miss it at times.’
Felicity blinked at the revelation, at his first display of emotion, feelings—proof that this remote man was actually real.
‘You do not choose to be a surgeon. I believe it chooses you. And yet my country, my role, for reasons you do not understand make it impossible to do both. But here in the desert…’ He was silent for a moment, as if drawing on the vastness. Even the wind wailing outside hushed for a moment as he centred himself and drank from the endless cup of wisdom this hard land brought. ‘I can fulfil both. I can be a royal and I can heal—Bedra is a doctor,’ he explained. ‘She trained overseas and has returned to Zaraq to help her people. That is why I chose her to be here. The palace staff think she and Aarif are really servants. The Bedouin people are proud and remote, they would not line up at a royal tent for help, so Bedra takes help to them. That is the vehicle you saw, and with GPS she can summon assistance from the hospital. Sometimes, for things Bedra cannot do—she is not a surgeon—I go out with her…’
‘You run clinics?’
‘My family do not know. You are not to say anything,’ he warned. ‘I am working on a project to send doctors into the desert as part of the hospital rotation. However, for now I am servicing that need quietly.’
He made it sound as if he were running a brothel instead of practising medicine. How could saving lives be a secret?
‘Change has to be slow,’ Karim said at her furrowed brow. ‘But there is change. There is the university, the new hospital. Women will not have to go overseas to study. I can work as a surgeon, and of course save lives, or as a royal prince I can slowly implement programmes that will change lives.’
As King he could just do it. Karim swallowed on that uneasy thought.
As King he could make more progress than his father or Hassan ever would. He loved his country, the traditions, its ways. But at times, at certain points, it frustrated him—angered him, even. Progress was so slow, yet as King himself more good could be done.
But it couldn’t be about what he wanted, and it had nothing to do with Felicity, so he stood up and ended the conversation there.
Felicity didn’t understand. He made her head spin. At every turn it was a different Karim—the man in England, the Prince in his palace, and this doctor in the desert. But she wanted him—all of him. She wanted the blurred image to focus, for the many facets of this man to join into one.
She wanted him.
‘I have to leave tomorrow.’ He offered no explanation other than that, but this time Felicity refused to stay quiet. He always did this, Felicity was beginning to realise. Gave a little of himself and then regretted it, withdrew further and confused her more.
‘Where are you going?’
‘That is not your concern.’
‘Karim, please…’
‘My father has surgery in a couple of days.’
‘And you didn’t think to tell me? Karim, I am your wife.’
‘A wife who refuses sex is a poor wife.’
‘A husband who doesn’t trust is a poor husband!’ Felicity retorted, but he was prowling the tent now.
‘When the helicopter comes to collect me, they will bring staff to take care of you.’
‘No!’ She hurled herself off the cushions towards him, scared of being left in the desert with strangers. ‘No, Karim. I won’t stay.’
‘You will do as you are told.’
‘No!’ she begged. ‘Surely your wife should be with you? Surely your family will expect that?’
His family expected nothing from her. He stared at her with black soulless eyes, held her wrists as she attempted to claw at him. Could she not understand that his family did not care, that all that was wanted from her was her baby—be it as Hassan’s or his.
His.
For a second he relented, let go of her wrists and let her beat at his chest.
They did not care about her and he must not, Karim told himself, holding her arms again. But she kicked with her feet, beating her way into his closed heart.
‘Let me come with you, Karim. Surely I should be—?’
Only his mouth could silence her, and it felt so good to feel her. He held her angry body in his arms and kissed her quiet. Every time she pulled back he kissed her harder. Now he could taste her, his tongue curling around her rigid one, pressing her right into him so that she could feel what she was missing, feel the heat that had been building for so long now. It was a heat he had refused to douse himself, relishing the challenge like a fast in the desert—because when she came to him, and she would come, how much sweeter victory would taste.
Her mouth was softer now, her body more pliant in his arms. But then she resisted again—and Karim dropped her.
‘I have told you already—the desert is our home till the marriage is consummated. It is entirely up to you.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#ulink_12fa71f8-9754-5155-9683-885cde547a6b)
SHE had to get back to Zaraqua. Would not be left in the desert alone.
Felicity lay in bed, pondering her baby’s future. She wanted to give it the best chance to have a father, a loving father, and to grow up in a happy, loving home, yet it was up to Karim to take that chance—to trust in her.
How she hated him. Yet somehow she couldn’t completely…
She closed her eyes as she recalled his lovemaking, the tenderness he could at times display, the insight that had freed her from her fear of sex only to plunge her into another prison.
He had to trust that this was his baby. On that she refused to waver. Karim had to make love to her without protection or tomorrow she would be left alone.
As Karim prayed for his father and his country, Felicity drew her bath.
She had no seduction routine, no experience, but, drying herself off, she stared at the rows of glass bottles Bedra had prepared her with on her wedding night. She had poured rose water into the bath and Felicity did the same, then stepped into the fragrant water.
After, as she dried herself, she remembered Bedra’s excited chatter as she had massaged Felicity’s pulse-points with oil from tiny glass bottles. Attar, Bedra had explained—mixed fragrances. This oil was a heady mix of sweet amber, oudh and musk that would please the Prince.
‘Oudh?’ Felicity had asked.
‘Wood,’ Bedra had said. ‘And I will place this dish of almond oil by the bed…’
‘For perfume?’ Felicity had asked, sniffing the bland dish, but Bedra had just laughed.
It seemed strange to Felicity to be massaging her pulsepoints with oil of wood, but the fragrance was heady, and she remembered again him holding her that night, before it had all gone so wrong. She did what Bedra had done, and placed a slim silver dish of almond oil by the bed, waiting for him, as nervous as any bride on her wedding night.
He was ‘too tired’ to talk when he came to bed. He shrugged onto his side, with his back to her, and promptly feigned sleep. Yet she could feel his tension, could feel the black energy in the bed. When finally he did sleep he rolled over and held her, just as he did most nights. His hand in sleep on her belly made her weep.
She was protecting him from himself, Felicity knew. The man he really was would never jeopardise the safety of his baby. She turned over and stared at him.
She touched him.
She felt his body, reluctant, angry, even in sleep.
‘I won’t have the test, Karim.’ She spoke to darkness, and didn’t know whether or not he was listening, but she told him, warned him, begged to his soul to listen to her plea. ‘I will not take the risk, however small, just to appease—’
‘Felicity.’ Annoyed with himself for having rolled towards her, he turned away from her again. ‘Can we get through these next days?’
He willed sleep to come again. For Karim it was going to be a long night, made bearable only by having her beside him. He had considered taking a wife, but only for the sake of duty. There would be no real benefit to him. There had been so many lovers, so many women, and he had felt so many pleasures. Yet after the grim conversation he had had on the phone to his brothers insomnia had beckoned. He had never expected to feel peace this night—his father’s operation looming, so many decisions to be made. Yet climbing in beside her, angry with her, with himself, with his brothers, with his father, suddenly all there was was the dark tent and silence, and the musky scent of her that gently spirited him to a better place. Hearing her breathe beside him had brought a rare peace that was unexpected.
Perhaps the future was a touch more bearable with her in his bed at night. And then she had awoken him.
And now he couldn’t sleep.
He didn’t want the test either—didn’t want to find out the truth. This wretched time was only bearable because of her. Her scent was too heavy, too much woman lay untouched in the bed beside him. He considered asking her to go and bathe, to remove that fragrance so he might rest, except he didn’t want to.
‘I cannot sleep,’ he admitted, half an hour of silence later.
‘Would this help?’
‘What?’ He heard the nervousness in her voice.
‘This.’ Her hands were at his shoulders and softly she stroked them. She could feel the knot of tension in the muscles beneath the silken skin, felt him arch his neck as she smoothed a hard knot. ‘Does it help?’
And because it seemed it did she gently guided him to turn to his stomach. She wanted this closeness as much as him—wanted this chance for Karim to see sense before morning came.
She knew what Bedra had meant now, was glad for the silver dish of almond oil that was by the bed. Felicity dipped her fingers in it, rubbed it the length of his back, moving her thumbs along his vertebra, her oiled fingers pushing into his loins then up towards his shoulders. She felt the tension seep slowly from him, and when it had, when he was relaxed beneath her, she peeled off her nightgown and turned him over. She dipped her fingers back in the oil as those black eyes caressed her body. She rubbed the sweet potion into him, slid it into the thick black hair, and cupped him tenderly in her hand.
‘You know too much.’ He grabbed her wrist. ‘For one so innocent, you know way too much.’
‘I know nothing,’ Felicity corrected. ‘Except what my body tells me—what your body shows me it wants.’
She meant it. Always sex had been feared, yet with Karim it was instinctive, her body, her hands, guided by more than her mind, by more than just thought.
The oil in her palm made him slide through her fingers, no grip in her hold as she touched him. Her two hands slid in perpetual motion, feeling him grow. Even as he slipped out of her grip the other hand was waiting to slide up to his peak, an endless tunnel that closed around his member. She was enchanted, feeling him grow strong in her hand, feeling his mind weaken. This proud, contained, distant man was coming close now to the man she had first met, the man she had first loved.
His eyes were soft as he took in her body. ‘Your body is changing.’ It was his first real acknowledgment of her pregnancy, and it made her melt.
‘Feel it, then,’ Felicity whispered, because touch brought closeness.
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