Ting Tang Tommy

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The first time you play this, you might want to ask every-one just to write down names without telling them what is to come. People will write names that clearly reflect their interests and tastes. They will be easy to guess. You will play the first round and people will be a little non-plussed. Then, having played the game, ask everyone to disguise themselves by writing a name no one would expect. So the young proto-feminist in the group might write Jeremy Clarkson, the bookish elder brother Sporty Spice and the mild-mannered granny Sid Vicious. This time the game takes longer and becomes fascinating as everyone tries to guess who is behind each name. The names act like masks. Crucial to the game’s success is the Wild Card. The status of the Wild Card cannot be established definitively since the umpire who wrote it cannot be questioned. Empires have to establish for themselves which name is the red herring.

The aim of the game is world domination. So what’s new?

Cheeky Golf

When I learnt this game recently at a party I was pretty alarmed and sceptical; was it dangerous? Was it too shocking? Was it even possible? Well, after having played the game myself I can testify that it’s perfectly safe, deeply strange but very good fun. It is a game in which participation should not be made obligatory, for reasons that will become clear. And no articles of clothing need be removed. It was taught to me by a woman wearing a skirt and I did fine in jeans…

You need a fifty pence piece and a pint glass. Establish a line a few metres from the glass and ask a volunteer to stand behind it. The player then takes the fifty pence piece and clenches it between his buttocks. Keeping hold of the coin, the player then attempts to walk forward before successfully releasing it into the glass. Players can either drop the coin from a height or try and squat over the glass. Although the idea may strike the assembled company as too awful for words, it’s actually very straightforward. Our muscles in this area are strong and carrying a coin around is actually pretty easy. There is also the most remarkable joy in hearing the tinkle of the coin landing in the glass: it’s probably the nearest we’ll come to the satisfying pleasure of laying an egg.

If you have the appetite to go further, you can think about creating an obstacle course between you and the pint glass, using chairs and other bits of furniture.

The Cereal Game

If you’re playing with a big group, it’s especially important to find games that sustain people’s interest even after they have been eliminated. You need games that are fun for spectators as well as participants. This game fits that bill well. It’s fun watching men struggling with it, since it’s often women who are more supple and therefore better at it. It can be a bit tough on the neck, so if you have problems in this area, steer clear of the game or make sure you do a few stretches first. People who do lots of yoga invariably do very well.

The aim of this game is to pick up the cereal box using your teeth, with only your feet touching the ground.

Place the cereal box in the centre of the circle, far away from any coffee tables or furniture. Go around the circle, with everyone having a go. Most people will manage to bend over and lift the box into the air using their teeth without too many problems. Next, using a pair of scissors cut off a strip around the top of the box, so that it’s something like a fifth lower. Now, go round again, remembering that if any part of the body—apart from the feet—makes contact with the ground the person goes out. This includes players losing their balance. Keep going for about five rounds, with the packet being cut down lower and lower each time. More and more people will go out until you are left with your finalists. If the remaining individuals are demonstrating a rare expertise, then for your very final round you can cut off the lip of the packet entirely so that players have to suck the horizontal piece of card off the floor while essentially being upside down.

I have seen it done.

Clap Volleyball

When I was at Cambridge I shared a dream with my friend Charles Dean of touring a play around Russia. For both of us it quickly became an obsession. Charles was a producer and his vision was that we would travel the country, performing the show in exchange for food and accommodation. The challenge began to engross him more and more. He persuaded a girl studying Russian to become the tour translator and the project grew in scale. In his small attic room he pinned on the wall a huge map of the former Soviet Union and nearby countries. Red pins would signify a confirmed date. Every time I visited Charles, the red pins would have multiplied and after some months we had dates in Moscow, St Petersburg, Belarus, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia and Poland.

We had decided to tour The Winter’s Tale, with a cast of ten and minimal props. Even with no scenery, transporting cast and equipment became a major headache. Trains were cumbersome and journeys time-consuming. We only had a month during our holidays and Charles was determined that we made all our dates. I was becoming more and more anxious but Charles reassured me that he would find a way and that I should simply concentrate on casting and rehearsing the show.

On the first day of the tour we gathered outside the Maypole pub in Cambridge to find one large coach and two rather confused-looking drivers. The plan was simple. We were to climb aboard and then drive, via Berlin, to Moscow for our first performance. From there we would drive across the former Soviet bloc, criss-crossing countries to deliver our pared-down version of Shakespeare. And so began a remarkable month of eleven overnight journeys, bus drivers being taken to the verge of madness, passionate love affairs, late-night border inspections and unending streams of vodka.

Somehow we made it on time for our first performance in Moscow. The show went well and the cast and I were invited to attend a workshop at the Moscow State University, given by a director and expert in the Stanislavski Method. We expected two hours of rigorous emotional exercises. What we got was a lot of clapping. The director explained how awareness, contact and speed were at the heart of his approach to theatre. And so he taught us this simple but potent game, which I have played in practically every rehearsal room I have been in since. It works with friends, too. You need a big space, but the joy is that, although it’s a kind of volleyball, you can play it indoors since there is no ball to break anything with…

You need a minimum of seven players: two teams of three plus one umpire. Begin by asking the teams to choose names, and then get them to stand opposite each other in two lines. Just as in real volleyball, appoint someone on Team A to serve. Their job will be to make clear eye contact with someone on Team B and fire the clap to them. Without hesitation, this player must send the clap back to someone else on Team A and so a rally begins. Teams drop points by indirect clap throwing. Equally, if the clap is clearly aimed at someone but they are dozing and there is a split-second lull, the other team gains a point. The aim is to create fast and furious rallies that last until concentration reaches breaking point.

Smashes are allowed, but they carry risks. Rather than directing the clap straight to the opposite team, players may pass the clap down the line to someone on their own side. However, if this person is distracted and hesitates then the other team wins a point. The clap may be passed along a team as many times as players wish, but everyone must maintain their position in the line and any hesitation must be leaped on and penalized by the umpire. The first team to score five points wins.

When I’m the umpire I build tension by winding up both teams as much as possible to win. When you’ve appointed a player to serve, tell them to wait for a visual cue. This gives everyone a chance to regain their focus. Position yourself between the lines at one end and begin by crying, ‘Let’s play Clap Volleyball!’

Mickey Mouse

When I was starting out as a theatre director one of my earliest projects was a collaboration with the poet Simon Armitage. I had been a fan of his work for ages and, after leaving university, I had the idea of trying to persuade him to write a new version of a Greek tragedy called Heracles. Often, Greek tragedies are translated by academics rather than poets and I was convinced Simon could bring a raw, contemporary edge to the language of Euripides. I sent Simon the script of the play and he wrote back saying he would be very interested in doing the job, provided I could guarantee the play would actually get staged. Faced with this Herculean challenge, I began contacting theatres, trying to find a venue that would not only pay for the commission but would give an assurance that, barring natural disaster, they would stage the play. Theatres were excited about Simon Armitage but were less excited about Simon Godwin. Eventually, I persuaded the West Yorkshire Playhouse in Leeds—Simon’s local theatre—to meet me. Over the course of an hour I struggled to communicate my passion for the original play and its potential impact if rewritten by Simon.

Touched by my overpowering enthusiasm (if nothing else), the theatre decided to commission the play and so began a two-year process of writing and workshops to develop a new work—Mister Heracles—based on Euripides’ original.

The plot of the play was profoundly serious. The drama tells the story of a triumphant Heracles returning home after the completion of his labours only to suffer a breakdown and murder his wife and children. During rehearsals it was easy to become sucked into the play’s darkness and, to keep our spirits up, we played games. In order to work, these needed to be as silly and lively as possible. One of the actors in the cast taught us this game, which fitted the bill perfectly.

This game doesn’t need many players to work. Playing with a small number of people is actually better as you have to be on your toes even more than usual.

Everyone stands in a circle. The player who starts covers his nose with his fist to make a Mickey Mouse nose. The player to his right places his left hand behind his left ear to make a Mickey Mouse ear. The player to the left places his hand behind his right ear to make a Mickey Mouse ear on the other side. So you now have a nose and two ears made by three different players. The player with the nose now throws it across the circle to another player who ‘catches’ it. That person now has the Mickey Mouse nose and the two players either side of him must make the ears on the correct sides.

The nose is now ‘thrown’ faster and faster around the circle. You will find that people consistently forget to make the ears at the right time on the right side. Keep going until the nose is constantly moving, with hands moving from ears to noses to ears. The aim is to heighten everyone’s awareness of what is happening and to develop fast, intuitive reactions.

You can introduce a competitive edge by eliminating people who make a mistake. Or you can just play for the fun of it—enjoying the swirl of ears and noses. Some years later, I saw one of the actors at a crowded opening night in a theatre in London. Across the crowded stalls he ‘threw me a nose’.

Chinese Pictures

It’s always exciting to spot new games as they hit the scene. No one knows where they come from but suddenly there is a tipping point and everyone is playing them. I was thrilled to discover this game a few months ago. It’s already being played by more and more people I know and when you play it you’ll understand why. It’s a very well structured game and I think it’s a ‘non-submersible’, which means that it can withstand any context or degree of skill. It comes with its own inscribed magic.

This game is a variant on the Consequences model, which I discuss in Chapter 4. The origins of this game are hinted at in a book called Kate Greenaway’s Book of Games from 1889. Here one player draws a famous scene from history or fiction and the other players have to write down what they think it is, before folding their suggestion over and passing their paper on. At the end players unfold their papers and read out a list of possible definitions. But this version, where everyone is constantly drawing and writing, is a lot more fun.

Everyone begins with a pile of papers, each about the size of a quarter of a piece of A4. It’s crucial that you begin with the right number of papers. For an odd number of players you’ll need the same number of papers; for an even number of players you will need one less. So for nine players you’ll need nine papers, for eight you’ll need seven. On their first piece of paper everyone writes down a film title. Now everyone passes their entire pile, with the title still on top, to the person on their left. This player looks at the title and places it at the bottom of the pile. Now they must attempt to draw the film title on this new piece of paper. They can do this either by breaking down the title of the film or by drawing an image that communicates its essential content. When this is done, players pass the entire pile to the player on their left. This person looks carefully at the picture and then puts it to the bottom of the pile and on the next new piece of paper writes down the title that it suggests to them. When they have done this they pass their entire pile to the person on their left, who reads the title, places it on the bottom and draws the picture that expresses it. It’s essential that the entire pile is passed on each time and this process of reading/writing/ drawing continues until people get their original title back.

After they have been reunited with their original title, each player now reveals their sequence of words and pictures. Players talk through their sequence, holding up one paper at a time. A potential example might go: I wrote down One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Dad drew [show strange drawing of a flying bird]; Granny wrote Chicken Run, Mum drew [an abstract figure distantly related to a chicken fleeing a prison] and Grandpa wrote The Fugitive, and so on.

It’s fantastically rewarding when one series of papers manages to successfully convey one consistent title, but this is pretty rare. There is no winner; the pleasure lies in the often crazy relationship between image and title. Players should do their best to be as precise and detailed as possible but more often than not this is a celebration of distortion. Also, don’t be put off by people being confused or grudging at the start. The game reveals its magic gradually and it’s always thrilling to discover the way you arrive back at your title and the mad journeys everyone has gone on.

It’s a Knockout in Your Living Room

Playing games with lots of people is not easy. Arriving at a party, people’s expectation is to drink a lot and talk. So when someone proposes a game there may be some resistance. There is a failsafe way to short-circuit this and that’s by exploiting the human animal’s competitive gene. As soon as you put people in a team they are overtaken with a desire to win at all costs. Suddenly, you have people obsessed with potential strategies and ways to prove their skills to their team-mates. Everyone becomes desperate to avoid the humiliation of being the one who lost the match.

You will discover how, once a team has played a game together, they become hungry to stay together to play more. With this in mind, I have put together a series of games here that can be played consecutively. If you are feeling really motivated you can create a score board and build up a championship-type vibe. I’m thinking a ‘games decathlon’. You can have an interval halfway through when people can drink and chat before getting going again, with even crazier and more adventurous games.

Slap Penny

This game is good because it’s a relatively sedate way to start a run of team games. It takes skill but it’s not too complex or too physical. It allows people to start working together and the penny slapping technique is not as easy as it seems.

For this game you’ll need two teams with a minimum of four people in each team. The two teams stand facing each other. At either end of each row place a chair (so you’ll need four chairs in total). On the two chairs facing each other at one end of the line, place a pile of ten pennies. When the umpire shouts ‘Go’, the two players on each team standing next to the chairs pick up a coin and place it on their hand. They have to hold their hand and palm upwards, with the penny resting in the palm.

The penny is then slapped from that palm to another and then onto the palm of the next player, who in turn transfers it to his other hand, and so on. The first player palms the coins from the pile as quickly as he can to get as many pennies travelling down the line as possible. The last player in the line drops the coin onto the chair standing beside them.

A penny may never be clutched. If it is dropped, it must be returned to the starting point on the chair. If you really want to test your players, when all ten coins have arrived you can demand that they send them back again. The first team to slap all their coins home wins.

Leaping Cards

Playing cards are fiendishly difficult to throw. They are resistant to too much force and their shape means that you have to find an oblique approach to getting them on target. This game was originally played by the Victorians who would try and throw cards into a top hat. Sadly, most of us don’t keep one to hand anymore. But you do need a stiff hat with a wide brim. I have an old trilby, for example, that works perfectly well. Alternatively, a pudding basin or small bucket will both work well.

Here I have adapted the original, rather sedate game into a high-octane team competition. The game has acquired a greater urgency as you now have to balance accuracy with speed.

The aim of the game is to be the team that wins as many points as possible. The game ends when one team has managed to throw all their cards.

Begin by spreading a newspaper on the ground and placing your hat in the centre of it. Using a jumper, scarf or the edge of a rug, establish a line around 1.5 metres from the hat. This will be where players throw their cards from.

Divide the company into two teams. Each team is given half a pack of cards. One team has the red cards and the other the black cards. On ‘Go’, one by one a member of each team goes to the line and throws a card towards the hat. For every card that makes it successfully into the hat, players are awarded three points, for any that land on the rim players get two points and for any card that at least makes it onto the newspaper, players get one point. In the fast and furious snowstorm of cards, leave the scoring until all the cards have been thrown.

Both teams scramble to throw their cards as accurately and as rapidly as possible. When one team has succeeded in throwing all their cards, the game stops. At this point the two team captains begin by collecting all their team’s cards that have landed around the room, which are discarded as they are worth no points. They then collect all the cards on the newspaper, which are worth one point. The captains should count as they go, moving on to gather cards on the brim (two points) and then in the hat itself (three points). The team with the highest score wins.

Picture This

There are various board games that you can buy in the shops based around drawing. Pictionary and Articulate are two good examples that revolve around a very simple premise. Indeed, the premise is so simple that you can easily play your own versions at home, with stuff you already have. Unlike Chinese Pictures, this game is competitive and is played with a time pressure; this means you can happily include it in your games tournament.

Drawing games are like charades in that they ask for skills that most people don’t have to any great level. This is exactly why they are such fun.

You need a pinboard, which you can cover with sheets of A4 paper, or single sheets of A3, depending on what you have to hand and the size of your board. After forming two teams, each player writes three everyday objects on a different piece of paper and throws those bits of paper into a hat. The game begins with the first player pulling out a piece of paper from the hat and drawing the object on the board, which must be guessed by the rest of her team. Each player is given only thirty seconds to try and draw as many objects as possible. As the names are guessed correctly, the team keeps their papers to add up when the hat has eventually been cleared. The team with the most names at the end wins.

The Sofa Game

It is with some trepidation that I share this game. It’s a game that can end in tears and possibly even injury. It takes the childhood fun of making obstacle courses and gives it a competitive edge. However, only play this game if you have the right sofa. You need one which is low, soft and bouncy. I have one in my flat that is essentially just a piece of foam. For sitting on, it’s hell. For this game, it’s perfect.

This game is a relay race. To prepare, you’ll need two plastic bottles. They can be large mineral water bottles or medium-sized plastic milk bottles. Form two lines. On ‘Go’, the first player of each team must put the bottle between their knees, climb over the sofa, touch the back wall of the room and clamber back again. If the bottle slips from between their legs, they have to stop and replace it. The returning player tags the next in line and the first team to make it home wins.

You should position the sofa in the middle of the room, some way from the back wall. Inevitably, the sofa will tip over with the weight of two players fighting to scramble over it, so you need plenty of space and a light sofa that isn’t going to crush anyone. When I played the game recently it was hilarious seeing a group of people in their early thirties coming up with the most amazingly ingenious solutions to scaling the sofa while maintaining control of their bottle.

Puff Balloon

Games with balloons first became popular during the late nineteenth century. In 1896 Parker Brothers brought out a new game called Pillow Dex, which was a forerunner of Ping Pong. The kit provided all the ingredients you would need to volley a balloon across a net stretched over your parlour table. You can imagine this more genteel version of table tennis in action, with Victorian ladies gently wafting the balloon from one side of the net to the other. This game is my own addition to the tradition of balloon games. You might want to use it to build on the crazy momentum of the Sofa Game; it’s equally silly but slightly less perilous.

You need two teams with at least three players each. In the centre of a room place a dining chair. Each team is given a balloon. On ‘Go’, the first player in each team sets off to try and blow their balloon underneath the chair to the other side. Once successfully blown under, the balloon is then puffed back directly to the starting line so that the next player can go. The first team to bring all their members home wins.

Players aren’t allowed to touch an opponent’s balloon but they may blow it. This becomes particularly relevant when the balloons clash on entering the vicinity of the chair. As players scramble to get their balloons under the seat, all sorts of breathy interventions are allowed by the two players fighting it out. Those waiting to race, however, must remain behind the line. The only pressure they’re allowed to exert is via cheering.

The Hat Game

Finally in this section, I would like to share with you the King of Team Games. If there is one game to take from this book, I would like it to be this one. It’s like a rich, delicious stew with all your favourite ingredients. It’s so versatile and open to so many different ages and levels of skill that everyone seems to be playing it. Indeed, it conforms very well with the theory put forward by the historians and great game collectors Iona and Peter Opie. They argue that, as games become more popular, they begin to attract additional rules, become more elaborate and the length of time needed to play them increases. I believe that this game is relatively recent and has been around in this form for no more than fifteen years or so. It’s now very common and, as the following explanation demonstrates, it is still growing and developing.

I learnt the Hat Game when I was touring Russia with The Winter’s Tale. A crowd of us were killing time in a dingy hotel in Minsk when someone suggested this game. There couldn’t have been a better place to learn this epic, three-stage event and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Begin by giving everyone a pen and a sheet of paper. Everyone tears up their paper to make seven smaller pieces and writes on each a different name of a well-known public figure. The papers are folded and placed in the hat. You will have plenty of names. The group is then

divided into two equal teams.

Team A nominates a member of their team to start. They are given a minute—timed by someone on the opposing side—to take names out of the hatand describe the people on the card without saying their name. Any name that is correctly guessed the team keeps, so by the end of the minute they have collected a nice pile of names. The hat then passes to the other team who repeat the procedure. The hat goes back and forth until all the names have been guessed. At the end of the round, each team counts the names they have won, records the total and the papers are returned to the hat.

Round two works on the same principle except that now the names are described using three words only. For the game to work you must be very strict. ‘Ums’ and ‘ahs’ are counted as words. If someone says ‘um, ah, celebrity’ then that’s all they’re allowed. No more can be said until the name is guessed. The team may spend the entire minute trying to guess just one name. The stakes are high! As before, when all the names have been guessed teams tot up their total and all the names go back into the hat. Now is the final showdown. In this round players must act out each name. They can break the name down into syllables, as in Charades, or do a silent impression of the character; becoming for a few priceless seconds Winston Churchill, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse etc. As acting takes longer than speaking, the time is normally extended for this round, with everyone being given two minutes rather than one.

When the hat has been cleared for the last time, the three totals for each round are added up and the team with the largest number wins.

Stop Press. At the time of writing there are rumours of afourth round. I have never attempted this but my brother, who is a film director and therefore much more glamorous than me, spent New Year playing the game with some members of the Hollywood crowd (the game’s popularity is spreading). They introduced him to this innovation which, he assures me, provides a surreal and hilarious new twist.

So, for the first time in print:

Players once again remove the names one by one. Now, however, rather than using words or actions, players must make a single sound. This sound must embody the essential characteristics of the name on the paper. It might be a low moan, a triumphant roar, a nervous giggle or a stifled sob. Sounds like a challenge, doesn’t it?

Word Games for Witty People (#ulink_8dbd9216-4e38-525d-b595-80aaad02f1ef)

In sixteenth-century France a new vogue for verbal games took hold. These games were played in courtly circles and were known as jeux d’esprit. They were part of the burgeoning world of the salon and were played alongside discussions of courtly themes such as love, society and politics. These games reached England via some of the first books of games, such as the anonymously written The Mysteries of Love and Eloquence (1658), which describes old word games like Crambo. Many of the games that follow have their beginnings in this early flowering of word games and verbal jousting.

Word games grew in popularity during the nineteenth century and took shape in public events such as the Spelling Bee. ‘Bee’ was a term that became popular in America during the eighteenth century. It was used to describe events where large numbers of people came together—much like bees—to participate in some communal activity. People would gather to weave, spin, make quilts and, eventually, to compete in spelling matches. The first of these Spelling Bees took place in America during the 1870s. The spelling obsession soon made it across the pond and, in 1876, The Leisure Hour