The Three of U.S.: A New Life in New York

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The Three of U.S.: A New Life in New York
Peter Godwin

Joanna Coles

After a decade in the London media, Joanna Coles and Peter Godwin set sail for a new life in New York. The Three of U.S. is the amusing diary of an affectionate but unconventional and frequently volatile relationship between two competing hypochondriacs about to become parents.He’s preoccupied by the lump on his elbow. She’s trying to determine the accuracy of the DIY pregnancy-testing kit.In September 1997, as the quay side band played them off in the drizzle, they anticipated a life of glamorous parties, power brunches and weekend trips to the Bahamas. She had been posted to New York as the Guardian correspondent – but discovered that most New Yorkers mistake the paper for the in-house pamphlet published by La Guardia Airport. He decided to write ‘the novel’: a year later, it’s largely unfinished.What will make them most anxious – learning that they earn less than their neighbour’s dog, or being mistaken for a serial killer by the local newsagent? Neither of these: it’s the pink line on the second box of the tester stick… For Joanna’s is a pelvis with a passenger.In this joint diary, we follow the progress of two resident aliens acclimatising to the eccentricities of the Big Apple – and to the idea of parenthood. Drawing on an eclectic cast of supporting characters – from over-achieving, pill-popping friends, to their drill sergeant of a birthing instructor and fearsome cleaning ladies – The Three of U.S. is a wryly real look at the panic of thirtysomethings everywhere.

THE THREE OF U.S.

A New Life in New York

JOANNA COLES

&

PETER GODWIN

DEDICATION (#ulink_760dec1c-22fa-5abf-bb4c-dfa807e8983f)

For TAG, whose pram is in the hall

CONTENTS

Cover (#ueee5f46f-147a-51f9-baf3-a7c766c1659a)

Title Page (#u4712343e-42ac-5d83-9103-6afadf12b862)

Dedication (#u662761b2-38d9-5232-89fd-5e21d996ea84)

Preface (#ud1b7b783-0a36-50ef-8516-00c475d2e959)

May (#u6286fd0b-36fa-5a38-bb66-4c144269d67b)

June (#ub3c24d6a-49ea-5e15-ae7f-0fb775548fad)

July (#u30b36c75-54ea-5eaf-bab0-98e238d1352f)

August (#u8f71f003-10ea-5998-b3c0-8868eb9e3b5d)

September (#ud59902f1-ada4-5a43-9203-e3d1da5e46d0)

October (#ue8373327-d99b-563d-b7be-369818afc96f)

November (#u912c7476-c3f6-5fea-b68f-b3673987f5df)

December (#u85c8e617-452f-522d-a96d-59082536e2f8)

January (#u05bcd42c-7e5d-5abf-ab0c-e1b66a381bcd)

About the Author (#u38229481-802a-5f18-ae56-0b4e28ac5b6a)

Also by the Author (#u762efe9b-7dea-5d4d-b41a-fff1a5381da0)

Copyright (#uedbd8502-4826-5439-83b9-b9672bc525cb)

About the Publisher (#ue5cd4b0c-05f9-5f84-a2c6-28e6485ec142)

PREFACE (#ulink_5e30ca34-d2d1-5e55-becb-dad4ea39205e)

At the risk of degenerating into Oscar speak, we would like to thank the following: our agent, Gil Coleridge and our editors, Val Hudson and Andrea Henry, for doing their respective jobs with such elan; Jane Thynne and Andrew Solomon for allowing us to quote from their emails; and our New York friends (especially Dani Shapiro, Michael Maren, Suzanna Andrews, Dana and John Tierney, Andre and Leina Schiffrin, Ron Gallen, Betsy Fagan, Sheenah Hankin and Tom Masland) for their patience and humour in dealing with our incessant questions; Sheila Kitzinger and Dr Miriam Stoppard for letting us quote from their work. We are also grateful to be able to quote from Dr Seuss and from the websites of BabySoon.com and BabyCenter.com.

Joanna would like to thank Alan Rusbridger and Roger Alton at the Guardian, for posting her to New York. And Peter Stothard and Sandra Parsons at The Times, for continuing to accommodate her dispatches.

The Three of U.S. is not a forensic record – occasionally we have changed names, dates and other identifying details, largely to prevent intrusion. But this principle is defined in the exception. Our labour coach, for example, is so instantly identifiable to any of the scores of New Yorkers who have passed through her ante-natal academy, that to change her name would be pointless.

Joanna Coles

Peter Godwin

Manhattan 1999