The Silent Cry: Part 2 of 3: There is little Kim can do as her mother's mental health spirals out of control

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‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the time. Shall I call you back another time?’

There didn’t seem much point now that I was awake. ‘It’s OK. Are you all right?’

‘Yes, I’m fine. It was nice of you to drop by today. I enjoyed your visit. I haven’t seen many people recently because I felt so down, but now I’m better I’ll catch up. I’ve just finished talking to Fran. We were on the phone for ages.’ She gave a small laugh.

‘That’s good,’ I said. I hoped Fran was a night owl.

‘I told her I’d be in the playground tomorrow.’

‘Great, although I thought I might see you there today.’

‘I intended to go, but then I nodded off on the sofa and Geraldine didn’t like to wake me or just slip out. You know how she fusses. Thanks for bringing Kim home.’

‘You’re welcome. Did she find some cardboard boxes for her class’s Viking project?’

Laura laughed. ‘Yes, lots. We had loads in the loft from when we moved. Andy went up there and got them down when he came home from work. I won’t go in the loft – there are spiders up there and I hate spiders.’

‘Yes, so do I.’

Our conversation continued – a perfectly normal chat between friends, if it hadn’t been so late. Laura did most of the talking, and I saw the clock ticking off the minutes to midnight. Then, at 12.15 a.m., I said, ‘I’m going to have to go now, Laura, and get some sleep. Why don’t you come to me tomorrow for a coffee after you’ve taken Kim to school?’

‘Yes, that would be lovely, thank you. I’ll let you sleep now. Sorry to have woken you. See you tomorrow.’

We said goodbye and I hung up. Yes, a perfectly normal conversation apart from the timing. No one with young children telephones a friend just for a chat in the middle of the night, but I assumed it was as Laura had said – that she’d lost track of time while talking to Fran. Thankfully the phone ringing hadn’t woken Adrian or Paula, but it took me a while to get back off to sleep.

As Laura was planning to take Kim to school the following morning I kept a lookout for her as we walked down our street. Parents with children who attended the local school left home more or less at the same time, so we often saw others walking the same route. That morning the children in Kim’s class were all carrying cardboard boxes, but there was no sign of Kim with her mother, either ahead of or behind us. They weren’t in the playground either, but Fran was and she came towards me with a cardboard box under each arm. Her daughter was carrying another two boxes. ‘Did Laura telephone you late last night?’ Fran asked me.

‘Yes.’

‘Oh dear. I am sorry. She told me she was planning on phoning you when we’d finished and I tried to persuade her not to. It was so late.’

‘Don’t worry. It was nice to hear from her, although it was late.’

‘It must have been. We were about to get into bed when she phoned me and we were talking for ages. My hubby wasn’t amused, although I explained I hadn’t heard from her in a long while. Laura said she’d been depressed but was all right now. I invited her for coffee this morning.’

‘So did I,’ I said, smiling, and again looking around for any sign of Laura. ‘I wonder where she is.’ There were others arriving with cardboard boxes of all sizes. Some of the children were carrying them on their backs like tortoise shells. It was comical.

‘She might have slept in,’ Fran said, also glancing around. ‘Laura told me she can’t sleep at night, and then sleeps in late or nods off during the day. Oh look, there’s her mother-in-law with Kim and the baby. So Laura hasn’t come. I’ll go over and see how she is.’

I turned as Fran went over and saw Geraldine with Kim pushing the pram. She was carrying a couple of cardboard boxes and had another one balanced on the pram. Geraldine was straight-faced as usual and, avoiding eye contact, kept her gaze ahead. I saw Fran say something to Geraldine and she responded with a curt nod and what looked like a very short reply. Fran then went over to speak to another mother, so I guessed she hadn’t learned much. The Klaxon sounded and I kissed Adrian goodbye. I saw Geraldine with the pram, speeding towards the exit, but I didn’t try to catch up. Fran looked at me and shrugged. ‘Not sure,’ she said as we left the playground. Then we went our separate ways.

I didn’t knock at number 53 on the way home. There was no reason to, and to do so would have crossed the line between good neighbourliness and intrusiveness. But of course I speculated on what exactly was going on.

Laura didn’t come for coffee, and I wasn’t surprised. Something told me that if she wasn’t up to taking Kim to school then she wouldn’t be coming to me. Maybe she’d gone to Fran’s instead, but I doubted it.

Laura wasn’t in the playground that afternoon either, and it was only after the children had come out of the building that I realized with a stab of horror that Geraldine wasn’t there either. Kim was waiting with her teacher as they were told to do if a parent or carer didn’t arrive to collect them. Grabbing Paula’s hand, and with Adrian in tow, I shot over to them.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I said to her teacher. ‘I’m taking Kim home.’

‘No problem,’ she said, and Kim came with me.

But there was a problem. I knew then that I needed to clarify the arrangement I had with Geraldine for collecting Kim. I would ask her to telephone me when she wanted me to collect her. If you do something every day it becomes part of your routine, or if you’re asked to do something specifically it’s at the forefront of your mind. But this loose, ad hoc arrangement where I was expected to collect Kim if Geraldine (or Laura) wasn’t in the playground could easily lead to me forgetting Kim, as I’d just shown. Fortunately no harm had been done on this occasion.