скачать книгу бесплатно
‘Which bit?’
‘What do you mean?’ Wasn’t a blanket apology enough?
Clearly not. She started to count his misdemeanours off on her fingers. ‘The comments about my clothing choice for a super quick walk up the hill.’ Forefinger. ‘The dismissal of my input with a very sick patient.’ Middle finger. ‘Outright rudeness when I tried to be compassionate to you…’ Ring finger. Which, he noted, didn’t have a ring, but it did have a barely discernible white line which meant…which meant he was noticing more than he should. Her terse voice made him focus. ‘Which are you apologising for, Doctor?’
Those lovely eyes settled on his face. A little warmer. Drifted to his mouth, back to his eyes, and he had the distinct feeling she was sizing him up.
That made him stand taller. So, she wasn’t going to pussyfoot around him. This was new, and he wasn’t sure what he thought about it. But he definitely deserved it. Maybe he’d been too protected by his staff, who’d all taken the reins when he’d begun to sink, and probably let him get away with too much self-absorption in the process.
‘Good point. I’m sorry for everything. Absolutely everything I did, and pretty much everything I didn’t do too… The fact that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, the extinction of the dinosaurs, and mostly for The Birdie Song.’
Her eyes twinkled at that and she started to laugh. Which made him notice her even more.
She put her hand up, signalling that he’d said enough. ‘Okay. Don’t get carried away. But…oh, my poor heart…the Tooth Fairy? Not real?’
‘I know. I took it hard too. For God’s sake, don’t tell my daughter; she’d never forgive me.’
‘My lips are sealed.’ She did a zipping action with her forefinger and thumb across her mouth. Pouting it a little. It was a nice mouth. Full lips. The kind of smile that made you feel as if you had a pool of light in your chest. Seemed it wasn’t just his head but his heart noticed her too. Something in his blood started to fizz.
It had no right fizzing. He cleared his throat. ‘So, let’s start again. I’m Joe Thompson. The patients know me as Dr Joe. Maxine calls me Joey. But I also answer to hey you, oi and a whole lot of things I can’t say in polite company…and that you’ve probably muttered under your breath more than once today.’
A wry lift of her eyebrow. ‘I stopped counting when I got to fifty-seven.’
‘That bad, eh? I’m sorry and even though I didn’t show it I’m very grateful you’re here, particularly today.’
‘You’re forgiven, but only just, and you’re now on a caution.’ She nodded, satisfied. The smile stayed in place, hinting he was on the right track with being civil. ‘Any more of that grumpy nonsense and you’ll be in a lot of trouble. Life’s too short to be a huge pain in the ars—’
‘Indeed.’ As he knew, well enough. But he’d been stewing in his bad mood for five years and he’d thought he might be stuck there.
‘Anyway, I’m Rose McIntyre. Locum nurse extraordinaire.’ She stuck out her hand, long feminine fingers.
Which he took and shook, trying to ignore more fizzing, this time over his skin as her fingers slipped from his. He caught her gaze and wondered whether she’d felt it too.
No. No hint of any kind of fizzing on her side. Why on earth would she? He dragged his eyes from hers and tried to be more professional. ‘So, from somewhere down south, judging by the accent?’
She nodded and two small dots of pink bloomed on her cheeks. ‘Born and bred in London.’
‘But…?’
‘But what?’ The pink intensified.
‘There must be a but if you’ve moved away from your home to little old Oakdale in the middle of nowhere.’
‘It’s so beautiful here.’ But her demeanour changed, the openness in her eyes shuttered down. ‘I just needed…wanted a change.’
‘Bright lights and big city getting too much?’
‘Something like that.’ Her gaze slid away from him and she picked up her handbag, signalling the conversation about her was over. She wasn’t going to tell him anything personal, that was for sure. He didn’t even know why he wanted to know. They’d had other locums and he’d never asked about their reasons for coming here. She shook her head as if brushing off a thought and the smile was back on her face. ‘So, anyway, how were the pancakes? Laced with arsenic? No? Too bad.’
‘I wouldn’t blame you if you slipped some into my sandwiches tomorrow. I’ll make sure I don’t label them so you won’t know which are mine.’ He laughed. Actually laughed. It felt strange, muscles working in his belly that were usually only taxed by exercise. ‘No pancakes today. I made her eat porridge, but I was bribed to do pancakes tomorrow. Don’t be surprised if I come in covered in batter. That happens.’
She smiled. ‘Bribery or batter?’
‘Both. Too often.’
‘Kids, eh?’ The way she said it gave him pause. Wistful? Sad? There was a gentle raise of her eyebrows, a shrug. That’s life. But she’d already closed down enough at the remotest hint of a conversation about anything too personal, so he left it.
Suddenly serious, she closed down the computer and stood up. ‘Hey, did you check on Maxine? Have you heard how she’s doing? I mean… I know I’m not a relative or anything and I barely know her, so I hope you don’t think I’m prying, but—’
‘But you probably saved her life and for that I can’t thank you enough.’ If Rose hadn’t been here God knew what might have happened. ‘I just spoke with the cardiologist at Lancaster; she’s comfortable enough and they confirmed a myocardial infarction. She’s going to be in for a while.’
‘Next time you speak to her, give her my regards, please.’
‘I’m going over to the hospital tonight, so will do.’ He checked his watch. Time was marching. He really shouldn’t be standing here doing this, no matter how much he was enjoying trying to make amends. Thank God the rain had stopped a few hours ago. The roads would be dry and clear so…he steered his mind from where it usually went when he thought about rain and driving, and reframed things…so it wouldn’t take too long to get there and back. An easy drive of fifty minutes each way.
She frowned at her watch. ‘Really? All that way? It’s getting late.’
‘I’ll take Katy, my daughter; we’ll just pop in for a quick visit.’ It would have to be a very quick visit if he didn’t move soon. But his mouth started to run away on a different tangent. ‘You enjoyed your walk this morning? Except the part where a bad-tempered bloke bawled you out?’
She brushed her hand along her hair, smoothing some wayward wisps, and nodded, an ironic smile at the memory. ‘Well, yes, apart from grumpy men commenting on my inappropriate, but very lovely, cardigan it is beautiful up there. I can see why you live in that house—the view’s amazing and it’s such a quaint cottage.’
Pippa had loved it too, the second she’d set foot on the land. More than enough bedrooms, the perfect garden, a kitchen with the best view in the county. He’d bought it for her, for their future and the big family they were going to have…
And just like that his dead wife slipped so easily back into his brain. A familiar tight ache settled under his ribcage. Maybe he hadn’t moved on as much as he’d thought. ‘Yes. On a clear day you can see as far as Morecambe.’ His voice was tighter, as if his throat had been rubbed with sandpaper.
If Rose noticed she didn’t make it obvious. ‘Someone told me you could see all the way to Ireland, but I think they were pulling my leg. I only walked up to Craggy Gill and back this morning. Just a quick stretch of my legs before I came in here.’
Fifteen minutes from his house. ‘I should have asked you where you were headed then. Lesson learnt.’ But the thought of Pippa reminded him of everything he should be doing instead of standing here trying to make a pretty woman smile. ‘Right. I have to go.’
He didn’t want to. Something about her made him want to hang around and chat. But… Katy. Maxine. Pip. Sweet Pip. The hollow in his chest expanded.
Was he moving on? Could he? There was that panic again, deep inside.
Rose headed towards the door. ‘Great, I’ll come with you.’
‘No.’ He had to get his head sorted. And collect his daughter, then drive to Lancaster Hospital.
‘Just outside. That’s all.’ Rose blinked. Twice. ‘I don’t know how to lock up.’ She wiggled her fingers. ‘No keys?’
‘Right. Yes.’ What had he been thinking? That she’d somehow want to come with him? Home? To the hospital? Anywhere? What a ridiculous idea. Almost as ridiculous as wanting to make her smile, instead of reminding himself how futile that would be.
‘Are you taking your medications?’
‘Of course. Not something I’m about to forget, right? They keep me alive.’ Rose sighed inwardly and shook her head. It was lovely that her mother was so concerned, but really…sometimes the concern was beyond suffocating.
‘Why are you so breathless? What’s the matter? Are you ill? Have you got an infection?’
‘I’m climbing a mountain, Mum.’ Despite the pride at being able to achieve something she’d never imagined possible a few years ago, Rose felt her mother’s anxiety shimmering down the phone all the way from London. It didn’t matter how many miles she put between them, there was no escape when she was only a phone call away. Still, she couldn’t pop round unannounced like she used to do, not without a lot of planning. Rose tried to steady her breathing, but that wasn’t easy on the uphill. ‘Please don’t worry about me. It’ll make you sick again. I’m fine. Really.’
‘You’re climbing a mountain? In the dark? Why on earth would you do that?’
Good question. Rose stopped for a minute to catch her breath and take in the view. A cloudless sky, lit by a silvery moon, more stars than she’d ever imagined there could be above her. And then, below that, a horizon of dark shadows of the mountains surrounding the village, and the orange lights in the Oakdale houses illuminating the foothills like glow-worms.
Magical. Breathtaking. Peaceful. So peaceful. No one to challenge her, to compare her to how she used to be, no one to tell her how much she’d changed. No one to nag her, to fuss. No one to trouble her.
Except for a certain grumpy doctor she couldn’t stop thinking about… That was troubling. She’d only spent one day in his company but he intrigued her, probably a lot more than he should. From that whole Nordic vibe he had going on to the full body tingle she’d had when they shook hands.
Tingling wasn’t on her agenda. She’d come to lick her wounds and start afresh, have an adventure with a big emphasis on not getting involved with another man for a very long time. She’d had enough of being told what to do and how to act…and, after being in hospital for so long, everyone had been an expert on how she should behave.
Not any more!
Besides, Dr Thor had a mother-in-law, ergo he was married. He had a child. He was so off-limits he might as well have been in Outer Mongolia or… Norway.
Breathing in the cold fresh air, she tried to still her mind the way she’d been taught. In. Out. In. Out. Feet on the earth. Breathe the scents of wildflowers and grass. Listen. Up here it was completely silent, apart from the wheeze in her chest at the unusual exertion. And the palpable panic from her mother. ‘Rose? Are you still there? Why are you up a mountain?’
‘Oh. Yes, sorry. I’m just dropping something off at someone’s house.’
‘Whose house?’
Thor’s. She smiled to herself. He really did have nice eyes and a smile that transformed his face, when he remembered to do it. When he allowed himself… There was something locked up inside him; she could see that. Something had happened to make him so tetchy and reserved. She just didn’t know what. Didn’t want to know, really. Because everyone had something, right? ‘Just the boss’s house.’
‘What kind of boss brings you out at night in the dark? Walking up a hill? Does he know about your heart—?’
‘No.’ Rose cut her mother off. At some point she’d realise her daughter wasn’t an invalid any more, but it hadn’t hit home yet. ‘There’s no reason to tell him, okay? Why would I? The job agency only ask if there are any medical issues that interfere with my ability to do the job. And I don’t have any. I’m healthy. Healthier than a lot of people my age. I get lots of exercise, I eat well. I take my tablets and I get regular check-ups.’
Mostly, she didn’t want all the questions, the Oh, I’m so sorry or… You’re so lucky and, worst of all, What happened to the person who died? Once upon a time she’d loved being the party girl and centre of attention, but not now. She hated all the interrogation and prying into her life.
Unfortunately her mother hadn’t got that particular memo. ‘I’m worried about you, Rose. I still don’t understand why you went into nursing…all those infections in hospitals. You could catch something, or worse…’
‘Please, Mum, we’ve talked about this so many times. I’m fine. Dr Lee said nursing would be fine as long as I was careful.’
‘You had a lovely job at Red Public Relations. They were nice people. Our kind of people.’
Your kind of people.Not mine. Not any more. ‘Not this again, please. I love nursing.’
‘And I don’t know why you had to move so far away from everyone who loves you.’
Because of conversations like this. ‘I’m just trying to make my own way, Mum. It’s so lovely here; you should come and visit.’
‘I just might.’
Give me three years’ notice to prepare myself mentally. ‘I’ve rented a place with two bedrooms, so come any time. Just give me some advance warning so I can get time off to show you round. We could go to Beatrix Potter’s house; you’d love it.’
‘What about Toby?’
‘What about him? I don’t think he’s interested in Jemima Puddleduck. Far too boring for Toby.’
The terrain had evened out a little now as she got closer to Thor’s house, but her heart was hammering at the exertion. And at the mention of her ex-boyfriend. ‘Please don’t bring him with you.’
Her mother sighed. ‘I’m sure if you came home and talked to him he’d take you back.’
Rose stopped outside the doctor’s house. No car. Which meant they were still out. Good—she’d just leave the food here then head back home. Stupid idea in the first place; God knew why she’d suddenly decided to bring it. Or why they had to talk about her pathetic love life and ruin this lovely evening.
‘Toby dumped me, if you remember. Because I’m not the fun-loving girl I used to be, apparently. Because I decided to do something to give back.’
And mainly—although she hadn’t had the heart to tell her mum this—because he couldn’t cope with the fact that there was still a good chance Rose’s life would be cut short. He didn’t want to back a lame horse when he could marry a perfectly normal woman with all her own body parts and an uncomplicated life expectancy.
‘You could give back in lots of other ways, darling. A little charity work or something.’ She cleared her throat and Rose waited for the Don’t let your one chance slip through your fingers talk. ‘Don’t miss out on your chance with Toby Fletcher just because you’re stubborn. He said he didn’t mind that children were out of the picture.’
‘He didn’t want them in the first place, Mum.’ Rose had been the devastated one when they’d been told that.
‘That’s good then, isn’t it? And he’d look after you, financially at least.’
‘For God’s sake, Mum, he didn’t want me, okay? Besides, are you saying I should marry a man just because he’s rich? Do what he says? Fit in with who he wants me to be? Try to be someone who I’m not?’
‘Rose?’ A man’s voice behind her. Gruff.
‘Oh!’ Her poor heart damned near thumped out of her chest. ‘Joe! You’re home? I didn’t realise. Got to go, Mum. Bye.’ Flicking her phone into her pocket, she turned to meet steady and distinctly unamused blue eyes. ‘No car here…’
His mouth twitched. A little wary. ‘It’s in the garage.’
Of course it was. She looked over at the dark shadow of a building on the left-hand side of the house. There was the garage. A faint smell of petrol in the air. She looked down at the plastic container in her hand and shrugged. Now she just felt stupid, like a kid trying to be teacher’s pet or something. She’d just planned to leave the container and a note and then go back to her cottage, not have an actual conversation.
And now there were tingles again and she was pretty sure her heart should have stopped bumping after he’d made her jump, but it was still rattling away. ‘I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. How is Maxine?’
He shrugged. ‘As I expected. Tired and still very poorly, so we literally just popped our heads round the door for a brief chat and then came home. The doctors are doing more tests but she’s scheduled for a bypass once she’s stable. Katy’s just happy to have seen her.’
‘It’s a long journey; you must be tired.’ Clearly they were all very close.
He nodded. ‘Worth it, though. She said to say thank you and that she owes you a lot.’
‘Seriously, she doesn’t owe me anything. Anyone would have done the same.’
‘Ah, but you get the Maxine tick of approval. That’s usually hard-earned. But you’ll see, if she takes you under her wing you’ll have the whole village eating out of your hand.’
He stood aside and indicated for her to walk into his house. Exhaustion etched his eyes and she ached to press her hand to his face and get him to lean against her. To take some of his stress away. But why? She couldn’t understand what this weird feeling inside her was…unsettled, yet excited.
‘So, did you want something other than to talk outside my window about marrying rich men?’
‘I—er…’ He’d heard? Her stomach twisted into a tight knot. Marrying anyone was the last thing on her bucket list.
‘Don’t, by the way. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not.’ A small smile that tugged at her gut. He was trying to be nice. ‘Just be you.’
‘God, I’m sorry you heard that.’ She was still working out who she was. For her, time was split into before she got sick and after the operation. With a blur of pain and panic and dread, and a zillion promises that if she survived she’d do some good in between. But somewhere along the line she’d lost herself, and it was only now she was finding out what she wanted out of life and who she truly was. Today, it appeared to be blithering idiot with a dash of good neighbour. She held out the still-warm container. ‘I’m just dropping off something for you to eat.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Why?’
‘Because you probably didn’t get the chance to cook anything before you dashed to Lancaster. Unless Mrs Thompson’s cooked for you…but I assumed she’d go with you to see her mum. So, just in case you were all starving, I thought I’d—’
