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“Then I’ll order it. What do you want?” she asked. He noticed that her tone was all business, and he realized that while he was thinking this was the first step to renewed intimacy, she wasn’t.
“I was joking, Kin. I’ll get the drinks,” he said. “I’m ordering something to eat as well.”
“Thank you,” she said as he left the booth to go and place their order.
A good five minutes had passed before he returned to their table. He put the glasses down before retaking his seat.
“I’m sorry about overreacting about the drink. I’m a little on edge tonight,” she said.
“Planning weddings is stressful work?” he asked. He took a swallow of his beer and leaned back, stretching one arm along the back of the wooden bench.
“Sometimes. Ferrin’s such a sweetie, so she’s making my job pretty easy. But I’m working with another client who is a bit more demanding,” Kinley said.
“I never would have pictured you as a wedding planner,” Nate said. When he’d known her as a child, she’d been so rough-and-tumble. The kind of cowgirl who could do anything the boys could on the ranch. His parents had always treated his brothers and him the same way they did all the kids whose families worked on the ranch. That meant they all did chores together and they all got a horse of their own to take care of. It was a tradition that Nate had followed when he took over running the ranch from his dad a few years ago.
The Caruthers fortune derived from the cattle they ran on their property as well as oil and mineral leases they’d had for generations and the newer stud operation that was just fifteen years old. The stud farm had been Kinley’s dad’s idea for diversifying the ranch.
“I guess you don’t know me,” she said. “I like planning weddings.”
“You might be right that I don’t know certain things about you,” he said. “But I’d argue there are parts of you I know very well.”
She flushed. Her skin was so creamy and pale that any time she was aroused, angry or embarrassed it flashed in a pinkish red across her face.
“Don’t, Nate,” she said. “Please do not bring up that weekend in Vegas or our intimacy again. I really would rather your brothers and parents didn’t know about it.”
He leaned forward over the table. “There isn’t anyone here but you and me, Kin, and we both know what happened.”
“We do. And we both remember how it ended...or is that just me?”
“I already apologized for that,” he said, sitting back. Damned if it wasn’t just like a woman to keep reminding him of how he’d screwed up.
“I know. And I accepted your apology. All I meant by my comment was that we’re like oil and water—we don’t mix very well.”
He thought they’d mixed just fine. But arguing now would just get her back up more and not move them any closer to the ending he wanted for them. He knew he had to ease up, and he did. “I’m not the same man I was three years ago.”
She gave him a small smile and nodded. Then she laced her fingers together, and he noticed she wore a small thin ring on her middle finger. “Fair enough. I’m definitely not the same woman. So what’s changed with Nate Caruthers?”
* * *
Kinley knew she was stalling, but honestly she needed more time. She toyed with the lime on the side of her glass, rubbing it around the rim to distract her from the fact that Nate’s big frame dominated the corner booth. His legs were on either side of hers, the rough fabric of the denim abrading the bare skin of her legs. She tried to shift but just ended up rubbing her leg against his.
She glanced over at him to see if he’d noticed. He had.
He didn’t say anything. Instead he took a sip of his beer, and she watched the muscles of his throat work as he swallowed and then leaned back, stretching his legs out under the table, brushing them against hers again.
“I’m still doing some investment stuff, but my main focus now is running the ranch. Dad wanted to ease off on the everyday running of the Rockin’ C. And as you know, it’s a full-time job. So I stepped up,” Nate said.
The Rockin’ C was one of the largest ranches in Texas. They ran cattle, had oil, operated a stud farm and employed more than one hundred families on the property. They weren’t gentleman farmers; they were more like the Ewings of TV’s Dallas.
“Where are your folks living now?”
“Still on the property. Mom wanted a smaller house, so they built a five-bedroom ranch house out near the small lake.”
“That’s small?” she asked with a laugh.
“For her. Plus she said she wanted enough room to spoil her grandkids once we all settled down,” Nate said.
Once again Kinley felt the white-hot needle of guilt pierce through her. “When is that going to happen?”
“Not any time soon, as far as I’m concerned. Hunter is the only one who seems interested in getting serious. But after ten years of hell, I think it’s about time he had a break.”
“That stuff about him... It was really hard to watch when I was in California. I mean, there was the Hunter I grew up with and then this other guy I was seeing stories about on TV. I’m glad they finally caught the man responsible.”
“We all are. Mom spent a lot of time at St. Thomas Aquinas Church praying,” Nate said.
When he spoke about Hunter, Kinley heard the love and concern in his voice. She’d been in high school when Hunter had first been accused of murder, but all that was in the past now. And Hunter had Ferrin.
“He’s got the happy ending he deserved,” Kinley said. It gave her hope that once she came clean with Nate she’d be able to move on. Maybe keeping Penny’s paternity a secret was one of the barriers that had kept her from dating over the last few years.
But she knew it wasn’t. She knew it was her own fear of trusting a man again. Or, to be more honest, trusting her heart. She’d thought what she felt for Nate had been the beginning of something more solid, but in the end it had only been lust.
Which was raising its hotter-than-hell head once again.
“He has. How many weddings have you planned?” Nate asked. “How did you get started doing that?”
She sipped her sparkling water and took the reprieve he’d unintentionally given her. “I’ve planned close to twenty weddings. All of them high-end, destination-type affairs. I got started when I answered an ad for a personal assistant and starting working for Jacs. She had one of her planners flake out and gave me a trial run. I guess she saw something in me and decided to promote me to planner.”
“I’m not surprised she saw something in you. I’ve never known you to be a woman to back down,” Nate said. “No matter how much the outer packaging has changed over the years, that solid core of steel still remains.”
It was one of the nicest things that anyone had ever said to her. That Nate Caruthers was the one saying it made her heart heavy. “Thank you.”
“It’s okay. I should have remembered that when you called me. Instead I felt trapped, and I wasn’t ready for that. Despite the fact that we spent a weekend together, you’re not the kind of woman a man should ever be casual about.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. The fact that he hadn’t been ready to settle down gave her pause in her determination to tell him about Penny. Was he ready now? How would she know for sure?
She wanted to make things right. For Nate. For Ma Caruthers. For herself. But her duty was to Penny. And Kinley had to determine if it would be better for her daughter to never know who her father was or to know and have him disappoint her.
It was a tough call.
One that was going to take more than a sparkling water and a single conversation to figure out. She wasn’t sure if it was cowardice or not, but she decided she needed to get to know the man that Nate was today before she let him know he had a daughter.
It was the only fair thing to do for herself and Penny. And for Nate, who was still running wild, if word around town could be believed.
“I’m not sure that I was ready for anything more during that weekend in Vegas,” she admitted. “But I am definitely not as casual now.”
“Can I talk you into dinner?” he asked.
She hesitated, but she’d already said good night to Penny, so she knew her daughter wasn’t expecting her home until after bedtime. Kinley had promised to call at seven thirty and could still do so.
If she was going to figure out how and if to tell Nate, they were going to have spend more time together, and dinner seemed like a safe enough way to start.
Four (#u55e4c8d5-265a-5fe6-87bf-092fc4ad1ebd)
Nate normally would have gone to the country club for a midweek dinner and then played a few games of pool with Derek before hitting the Bull Pit for more drinking and carousing before heading home. Instead he was seated across from Kinley eating a steak and listening to her talk about the latest book she’d read.
He didn’t want to dwell on the fact that this was shaping up to be one of his best weeknights in a long time. She was animated when she talked, and now that he’d put the brakes on anything too sexy, she’d relaxed. Her hands moved as she explained a part of the book she really liked, and then she laughed and his gut clenched and his blood seemed to flow a little heavier in his veins.
“It’s just the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time and I thought while I was reading it, this girl could be me. Have you ever felt that way?” she asked.
He hadn’t. “Not really, but then, I’ve always had Dad to show me the kind of man I wanted to be.”
“Your dad is the best,” she said.
There was a note in her voice that made him wonder if Marcus hadn’t been the same kind of dad as his was. His father lived for his sons and made sure they knew it. They’d all been very certain that he had a strong moral code for them to live up to and he expected a lot from them. But he’d always treated them with love.
“Was your dad?” Nate asked.
“He wasn’t horrible or anything like that. But he did tend to work a lot on the weekend when I was out there. Mostly I think I saw your dad more than I saw my own.”
Nate hadn’t realized that and now wondered if he was keeping any of his employees from seeing their kids as often as they liked. He never really thought about the ranch children. His life was very different from his employees’, since his days of working the ranch were long gone. He spent most of his time in his high-rise office building here in Cole’s Hill doing deals and managing the business that the Rockin’ C had blossomed into.
“I didn’t know that,” he said, at last understanding that there was a lot to Kinley that he didn’t know.
In his mind he always imagined that she’d had the same sort of upbringing he had. He remembered Kinley being on the ranch on the weekends. He’d thought of her as a sort of girl version of himself.
“Why would you?” she asked. “It would be weird if you had. Besides, my dad and I have a pretty good relationship now. It’s just different than yours is with your parents.”
Nate shook his head. “I was very glad to move them into their own home, not that I forced them out. But as much as I like having my town house in the Five Families area, I do prefer to be out on the ranch.”
“Couldn’t you have lived there with your parents?” she asked.
“Of course, but if I did, then Mom wanted to meet any of the women I brought home, and sometimes that could get awkward.”
“I bet,” she said. “Are you still mostly keeping it casual?”
“Mostly. But I am here with you tonight.”
“Tonight? Should I just be thinking of this as temporary... What am I talking about? We’re having dinner to clear the air and give us a friendly base so that we don’t make Hunter and your family aware of what happened between us.”
He should have been very happy that she understood the kind of man he was.
But...
He didn’t want her to dismiss him so easily. Yeah, he was a temporary cowboy, the kind of man who knew how to show a woman a good time for a short stretch, but he might change for the right woman.
That was a big ask, though. And Kinley was perfectly within her rights to friend zone him the way she had.
“Fair enough. But for the record, you’re not like everyone else,” he said.
She paused for a second, her eyes widened, and he realized that a part of her wanted him to be Mr. Right. He could see it there in her gaze, and he’d never been anything close to that.
“Really?”
There was so much hope in her tone that it was almost painful to listen to it. He was afraid of hurting her and before this moment hadn’t been aware of how likely it was that he could. He’d thought she was like him. The female version. Party girl to his party boy and that like him she’d segue into the next phase of her life as a successful businesswoman. But in her eyes was a hope that he hadn’t counted on or ever seen before.
She wanted him to be a hero.
Not a bad boy.
Could he do it? Could he be the man she wanted?
The selfish part of him wanted to pretend he hadn’t noticed and maybe just go with it. But he had always prided himself on being honest in all of his relationships, and pretending was a form of lying. Some would say the worst form.
“Yes. You are very special,” he said at last.
She fumbled for her water glass and took a sip before placing it carefully back on the table.
“You’re kind of unforgettable, too,” she said.
Just like that he knew he could have Kinley again if he wanted to. If he kept his mouth shut and acted the part. But he’d already decided that would be the kind of low-down behavior he wouldn’t indulge in. But, oh, he was very tempted.
Her mouth was full and peach colored in the ambient lighting of the restaurant, and he was so tempted to just lean across the table and kiss her. To stop talking before he did anything that would ruin whatever it was she thought she saw in him.
* * *
Kinley was teetering on the edge. There had been a flash of something in Nate that made her want to believe he could be the kind of man who would spend the rest of his life with her. And though she was killing it—or at least managing it—as a single mom, there were times when she fantasized about having the perfect family that she’d always dreamed of having as a child. Growing up her family hadn’t been perfect, and she’d believed when she finally had kids she’d do it the right way. Have that perfect family from television and magazine ads that she’d always craved.
And now Nate was here sitting across from her saying things about how she was different from other women and looking at her...like he might have changed in the last two years. But she couldn’t just take a chance on that being the truth. She needed to be logical with this man whom she’d never been able to be logical about.
He’d always fascinated her. When she was younger, Nate had been the Caruthers who’d always looked out for her when she’d been on the ranch for the weekend. Then when she’d grown into her awkward preteen self, she had crushed on him—hard.
Now he tempted her again. Not with his easy charm and good looks, but with the slightest hint that he might be the partner she lacked. The father Penny needed.
She reached for her wineglass and took a sip. She was riding the crazy train straight to some sort of dreamlike existence that she knew didn’t exist. She knew that Nate was a great guy, sexy as hell and able to make any woman feel like she was the center of his world. And there were times when Kinley was able to make herself believe that she had been the center of it for that weekend in Vegas. But then he’d moved on.
A new business interest caught his attention, probably a new woman and a new expensive toy. She had to keep her wits about her.
But she liked him.
She’d always liked him. And it had been a really long time since a man—any man—had looked at her the way Nate was now.
And she’d left herself the slightest bit vulnerable when she’d just gone with her gut and told him he was unforgettable. He was. Even if she hadn’t had Penny to remind her of him every day, she doubted she would have been able to stop thinking about him.
“So...?” she said at last. Yeah, she was great at conversation, she thought. She could handle a full-on bridezilla on the warpath trying to make her special day the most fantastic ever, but put her across the table from this man and her verbal skills suddenly dropped to nothing.
“How do you feel about getting out of here and taking a walk around the plaza? The city commission is sponsoring a light show on the side of city hall that I’ve heard is pretty amazing,” he said.
It sounded so nice and normal. Like a real date. Except, was this a date? She wasn’t about to ask him and make herself look silly. But they’d said drinks, and now it had turned into dinner. She was holding a secret she needed to share and no closer to actually figuring out how to do it. And he had invited her to do something that sounded so normal.
