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She escaped her chair and threw herself into his arms. At the first touch of her soft form colliding against his hard angles, he discovered he’d made a serious miscalculation. Whatever they’d experienced all those months ago hadn’t dissipated over time as he’d anticipated. If anything, the craving had grown progressively worse. It might not be logical, but it was unquestionably true. He took the only action he deemed reasonable.
He kissed her.
Alice down the rabbit hole.
Only in this case Daisy tumbled head over heels down the hole and landed in a crazy, new world. Or maybe it wasn’t all that new. She’d worked so hard to forget what it had been like to lose herself in his arms. To know his kiss and have it sweep her away. To reach for something she thought long lost to her. He took his time reminding her of every moment of those lost memories.
Pleasure erupted, a tidal wave of sparkling joy, rushing through her without rhyme or reason. Not that it was love. She couldn’t love him. Refused to allow it. Passion. Lust. Sexual attraction. All those things she could accept, but not love. And she’d do everything within her power to avoid feeling an emotional attachment to a man who spent a lifetime suppressing them. She couldn’t deal with the despair and disillusionment again. It was too painful.
His mouth shifted across hers, deepening the kiss—a kiss that shouldn’t have improved since the last time they were together, but somehow had. She didn’t know whether it came from a growing familiarity or nearly two months of longing. She could only acknowledge the truth of it before going under, drowning beneath the cascade of sensations swamping her.
How did he do it? How did he stir such a helpless reaction? Her lips parted beneath his delicious invasion, opening to the heat. He was a man of logic and control, and yet she felt the instant that control slipped and shattered. He demanded, then tempted. Teased, then seduced. He touched her, kissed her, shifted his body against hers in a rhythm they’d both perfected that long-ago night. And yet, it might have been yesterday, the movements as familiar to her as they were arousing, and she found herself surrendering to the raw power of that primal song that played whenever they came together.
His hands cupped her face, tilting her head so he could more fully explore her mouth. She lost herself in the kiss while the sweetest of memories slid over and through her. Memories of their last night together when he’d taken her countless times, the final one sweet and tender beyond bearing. She suspected it had been then that she’d conceived Noelle, then that passion had caused them to forget a bedside table drawer full of caution. Then that he’d forever branded himself on her, heart and body and soul.
No! Oh, no, no, no. How could she be so foolish?
Daisy ripped free of his embrace and put the width of the table between them. She’d come here, dead certain in her ability to hold Justice at arm’s length, and instead all he’d had to do was touch her and she tumbled into his arms and surrendered. Did she think that everything that had gone so dramatically wrong twenty endless months ago, a single kiss could set right?
Swearing silently, she snatched up her bottle of water and hastily unscrewed the lid and took a long swallow while she struggled to gather her thoughts. “When you said you wanted me and Noelle to move in and you’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen—”
“I have always found that positive reinforcement works best.”
“You’d bribe me to live with you, Justice?” She took her time recapping the bottle. “Or perhaps that kiss was part of your positive reinforcement.”
“Only if it worked. Otherwise, what can I offer that will convince you to do as I request?”
“Do you realize that you sound like a computer whenever you get tense?” Based on the blank look he gave her, he didn’t. “Bribery won’t work, Justice. Nor will kissing me.”
“What will?”
She stood and crossed the kitchen to the shuttered window. “Is there any way to open this?”
“Computer, open window at Kitchen, Station 1A.”
A soft hum sounded and the shutters parted. This side of the house faced a long, rolling valley that must be stunning in the spring. Right now, with winter on the verge of overtaking them, it offered a raw, unforgiving beauty. Without the green of spring to cloak it, or flowers to add bright color and texture, only the bare bones remained. Nature at its most stark, without the pretty artifice to soften the harsh truth.
And the harsh truth was that she hadn’t been completely honest with Justice about why she’d tracked him down. Their daughter, Noelle, had been a huge part of it—the main part. But there was another reason, one she kept from him, one she found difficult to admit, even to herself. Ever since their night together she’d been unable to paint. She’d attempted countless times, without success. But, whatever creative spark, whatever gift or talent she’d been given, had evaporated as though it never existed. It had driven her to extreme measures, to allowing Jett to use every means at her disposal to find Justice’s hideaway in the hope that she could set right something that had gone hideously wrong—both for Noelle’s sake, as well as her own.
He’d asked her to stay and she wanted to, wanted with all her heart to be with him and discover if they couldn’t recapture some part of what they’d shared once upon a time. Why was she hesitating, when he offered to give her just that?
Because he wasn’t offering her love.
Well, too bad. She could move in and take her chances, or she could share custody of Noelle. She released her breath in a sigh and turned to face him. “No bribery, Justice. And I can’t commit to staying with you permanently. But I am willing to come for a visit as your guest. We’ll try it out for a few months and see how it goes. Sort of like what you intended with your apprentice/wife program. Will that do?”
“For now.” His gaze strayed to the window. “I wouldn’t wait too long, though. Winter’s coming.”
“It shouldn’t take longer than a week to organize. Is there enough room for all of us?”
“This place has a dozen bedrooms. I’ll get them ready and you can pick whichever ones you want.”
“And Pretorius? How will he handle having visitors?”
Justice frowned. “He has his own section of the house. So long as you don’t intrude, he should be fine.”
Daisy nodded. “Then I’ll see you in a week.” She turned and started from the kitchen, pausing at the last minute. And that’s when she accepted the heartrending truth. “Our lives will never be the same again. Everything changed twenty months ago, and there’s no going back now, is there? Not for either of us.”
And without a backward look, she fled.
Justice stood unmoving while the house settled into silence, returning to its cold air of detachment. Always a house, never a home. Always cold, never filled with light and laughter and warmth.
“You’re right. There’s no going back,” he whispered. “But what you don’t realize is … I don’t want to go back. I can’t live like that anymore.”
Daisy gritted her teeth, zigging to avoid driving through yet another pothole, this one the size of a large crater. If she ended up staying with Justice for any length of time, she and Justice were going to have words about this road.
“Almost there.” Excitement ricocheted through Jett’s voice, making her sound far younger than sixteen. “Just another one-point-four miles and we should be able to see it.”
“See it?” Noelle parroted. Only it came out more like “feet?”
Dear heavens, if it wasn’t Dora the GPS keeping track of every inch of every mile, it was Jett. And Daisy was willing to bet her last tube of Old Holland Viridian Green oil paint that when Noelle was a few years older she’d be every bit as bad.
“We’re surrounded,” she muttered to Aggie, her housekeeper. “Better get used to it now. There’s worse and you’re about to meet him.”
“I can handle it,” came the calm, seasoned response.
Years ago Aggie had been an elementary school teacher. She’d taken early retirement in order to nurse her husband through a lengthy illness, only to discover their savings exhausted by the time he died. The realization that she had no choice but to return to work coincided with Noelle’s birth and Daisy’s decision that she needed help with cooking and general housekeeping chores, especially after she’d assumed guardianship of Jett. She’d hired Aggie on the spot. To their mutual delight, the four of them had cemented into a cozy little family, one Justice would have to accept—if he wanted them to remain in Colorado.
“Are you sure Mr. St. John won’t mind that you brought all of us along?” Aggie asked with a hint of nervousness.
Daisy started to say she didn’t give a hot damn whether Mr. St. John minded, but aware of a backseat full of big ears, she modified her reply. “The four of us are a family. That means we’re a package deal. Don’t worry. Justice will be cool with it.”
A tiny sigh of relief issued from behind her, making Daisy aware that Jett was also feeling apprehensive. She always appeared so self-assured, it came as a bit of a shock the few times she reverted to the nervous, suspicious girl she’d been when Daisy’s parents had first taken her in as a foster child.
“I can’t believe I’m about to meet the man behind Sinjin,” Jett said.
“Finfin?”
“That’s your daddy, Red.”
“Daddy.”
That word came out clear as a bell. For some reason it caused Daisy to flinch and Aggie shot her a sympathetic look. “I’m sure he’ll make a wonderful father.”
“There’s no question Noelle needs him.” Her own inadequacies threatened to overwhelm her. “Lord knows, I can’t meet all of her needs.”
“No parent can give their child everything they require. It’s not possible,” Aggie was quick to reassure. “If you’re very lucky, you can cover most of it between the two of you and hope that friends and family and teachers cover the rest. Just loving them goes a long way.”
But was Justice capable of love? Was it programmed into his software or had that particular upgrade been wiped from his hard drive? Only time would tell. At long last the car crested the final hill and they coasted down to the sprawling homestead. She parked near the steps leading to the main house and cut the engine.
“Okay, everyone grab something and let’s get inside.” Together they tromped up the steps. She gave the door a tentative shove, relieved when it opened to her touch. At least she wouldn’t have to threaten her way in like last time. That would have been a tad embarrassing. “See?” she said with a reassuring smile. “Let’s head for the kitchen and get something to drink while we wait for Justice.”
It didn’t take long. Within a minute he stepped into the kitchen, his tawny gaze sweeping the group. One look warned Daisy he hadn’t taken the unexpected guests well. He reminded her of the panther she’d immortalized in her storybooks, stalking into the room, looking sleek and predatory and incredibly dangerous. For a man so proud of his restraint and emotional detachment, he certainly gave a fine imitation of someone who’d gotten his tail in a twist.
For a long, almost painful moment, his gaze lingered on his daughter. Tears pricked Daisy’s eyes at the intense longing that ripped apart his expression. It tarnished his eyes and crept deep into the crevices bracketing his mouth. Then his lashes dipped downward, concealing his expression, and he deliberately turned away. She suspected he didn’t have a choice, not if he hoped to maintain even a modicum of self-control.
“You said a week,” he all but growled. “It’s been ten days, three hours and fourteen minutes.”
“Sorry about that. It took longer than I expected to get everyone organized. I did email you about the change in dates.” He swept the assembled group with a look that probably would have decimated everyone on the spot if Daisy hadn’t stepped between Justice and her family to intercept the full blast of it. “Problem?” she asked sweetly.
“A moment of your time?”
His voice had lowered to a threatening rumble, forcing Daisy to spare her family a reassuring smile. “If you’d wait here,” she requested, easing Noelle into Aggie’s arms. “There are drinks in the refrigerator, assuming you can figure out where it’s hidden.”
“I’m on it,” Jett announced brightly, her gaze practically eating Justice alive.
“Behave,” Daisy mouthed to the teen. Though why she bothered, she couldn’t say. She might as well tell a mouse to stay away from the cheese.
Not giving Daisy a chance to issue any further instructions, Justice snagged her arm and drew her from the room. They retraced the path to the front door and continued on in the opposite direction to a large office with a spectacular view of the Rockies. She didn’t think he used this room any more often than any of the others on this level. The same feeling of neglect hung over the few furnishings it contained. But at least the shutters were open.
The early afternoon burned across the mountains, coating them in every shade from deep royal blue to the dense purple of eggplant. Trees, bare and stark, slept beside stands of conifers, the green rich with the promise that life would one day return to the windswept landscape. In the distance snowcapped peaks shoved upward against a remote sky, the pale blue expanse winter-hard and slashed with high streaks of gray cirrus clouds. It made her itch to grab her sketchbook and pencils and have at it. But ever since she’d lost her creative spark, she’d been afraid to do even that much, afraid she’d be forced to concede, once and for all, that she’d lost all artistic ability.
Releasing a sigh, Daisy turned from the view and discovered Justice pacing the room in perfect imitation of a sleek jungle cat. Or, to be precise, an infuriated jungle cat ready to attack at the least provocation. He also held the odd spherical device he’d played with the night Noelle had been conceived, twisting and turning it into shape after shape.
“All right,” Justice announced, bringing her to earth with a thud. “Let’s hear it.”
“What do you want to hear?” she asked. As if she didn’t know.
He regarded her with burning, narrowed eyes. “You know damn well, Daisy. Who the hell are all those people?”
Six (#ulink_4f269b29-64b5-5caa-9930-e2311a4d8674)
“One of ‘those people’ was your daughter,” Daisy retorted calmly. “And if you’d given me a moment to introduce the others, you’d know who the hell they are.”
Anger flared and the sleek sphere stuttered in Justice’s hands. “Damn it, woman!”
Did he just call her “woman”? She approached, her anger rising to meet his. “Now that I’m here, I think it’s time to discuss my conditions for staying.”
That stopped him dead in his tracks. “Conditions? You never mentioned conditions to me.”
“Well, now I am.” She didn’t give him time to debate the issue. “Condition One. If you want us here for longer than the next five minutes, you’re going to have to adjust your language. Noelle is unbelievably verbal and tries to repeat just about everything she hears. I won’t have her swearing before she even turns one.”
“Hel—” He broke off and then swore again. “Fair enough. I’ll do my best. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect.”
“Condition Two. My name is Daisy. Call me ‘woman’ in that tone of voice or swear at me again, and I’m out the door. And so is your daughter. Got it?”
He clenched his teeth together so tightly it was a wonder they didn’t crack. Even so, he conceded the point with an abrupt nod. “Any other conditions?”
She simply smiled. “Third, Aggie and Jett are members of my household, and where I go, they go.”
He must have picked up on her determination. She could practically see him adjusting his mental paradigm or thought processes or whatever the heck went on inside that amazing brain of his. “Who is Aggie?” he asked, the question so prosaic Daisy almost laughed.
“Aggie’s a former elementary school teacher and currently my cook and housekeeper. Since I’m a disaster in the kitchen and since the four of us need to eat, I hired her to take care of all things domestic.”
He perked up a little over that. “She cooks?”
“And cleans,” Daisy stressed. She eyed the room in open displeasure. “Seriously, Justice, this place is a disaster. I can’t believe you’re comfortable living like this.”
He glanced around, though she suspected he didn’t see the office and surrounding rooms the same way she did. “It’s just a bit of dust, and I don’t live in this section of the house.”
It didn’t take much thought to figure out where he did live. “Mad scientist plus secret location equals mysterious, hidden lab?”
“Something like that,” he conceded.
“A spotless mysterious, hidden lab?”
“Of course.”
“Well, since you now have guests who will be living in this section of the house, we’ll need our accommodations to be as spotless as your lab.”
He examined the room again, this time really looking—this time finally seeing. She could tell from his gathering frown that until that moment he’d been oblivious to the full extent of the problem. “I’ve been focused on a project and didn’t realize how bad …” He blew out a sigh. “I apologize. I should have done more to prepare for your arrival.”
“We’ll handle it.”
The “we” succeeded in returning his attention to his unexpected guests. “You’ve explained Aggie. Who’s the scary Goth girl?” he asked.
Daisy couldn’t help but smile. “That’s Jett.”
“Jett.” He froze. “Not that Jett. Not your computer expert.”
“That’s the one,” she took delight in confirming. “She was my parents’ foster child. After Dad suffered a heart attack, it became clear she’d have to move to a new home. Jett decided she didn’t want to start over somewhere else and asked me to become her foster parent instead.”
“This is November. Shouldn’t she be in school?”
“She received her GED at sixteen. She’s currently considering colleges.”
Justice’s brows shot upward. “How old is she? She looks about twelve.”
“She’ll turn seventeen in a few months. Jett can give you the days, hours and minutes, right down to the seconds if you want a more exact number.”
“She’s smart.”
“Scary smart. Like you, scary smart.” Daisy hesitated. “Like Noelle.”
His gaze sharpened. It didn’t take him long to process her comment and come up with the correct explanation. “That’s why you’re here.”
“One of the reasons, yes.” No point in going into any of the others. Those would become apparent over time. “It’s clear she requires someone who’s going to understand the way she thinks. Right now she has Jett, which is a huge help. But, Jett won’t be around forever. Plus, there’s no male figure in Noelle’s life other than my father and now that he has health issues …”
At the mention of her parents, his expression closed over, turning as cold and bleak as the mountains at his back. “I don’t want them anywhere near Noelle. Not after what they did to me.”
