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“You want perfect?” Never afraid to put him in his place, Melanie made gagging noises. “Wanting perfection in a partner is a little scary, don’t you think?”
“Stop twisting my words around. No, Melanie, I don’t want perfection. I just appreciate the fact that she’s never left me standing next to a window while listening for my cell phone to go off.”
“No, I don’t imagine she has.” With robotic precision, his sister turned the page in the magazine, scanned it quickly, then flipped again. “I doubt she’s ever done anything in her very short life that’s impulsive.”
“Very short life? You’re only a year older than her.”
“I’ve been through a whole lot more than she has, Ed.”
Eddie knew that was most likely true. She’d gotten mugged almost eight months before and was still too skittish to do much besides work and hang out with family. She was still too skittish to ever do more than smile at John, though everyone in the family knew he was half in love with her…and that she wasn’t immune to him, either. “Sorry, Mel. I wasn’t thinking.”
She ignored him. “Actually I think you think you’re perfect. Which, I’d like to remind you, you’re not.”
“Jeez, Melanie. I never said I was. Why are you picking a fight? We’re not in middle school.” In seventh grade he and Mel had fought tooth and nail over everything.
“I’m not picking a fight. You’re the one who brought up Perfect Jayne. Why do you think she’s perfect, anyway? Because she has long, flowing, golden hair?” Melanie smirked at her joke.
He turned back toward the window. “She’s a kindergarten teacher. She’s been living on her own since she was twenty-one. She volunteers in the community.”
“Not to mention she’s drop-dead gorgeous.”
“She is,” he agreed. Jayne was beautiful in that wholesome, girl-next-door, cover-model way. And what was wrong with that, anyway? The girl couldn’t help being gorgeous. “That doesn’t even matter. Shawn was pretty, too.”
“Was? What happened, Eddie? She got old and her body changed after giving you three precious girls? You got bored and needed a trophy wife?”
“Sergeant Wagner, the guy who is so insecure he needs a trophy wife to make him look good,” he said sarcastically. “Come on. You know that’s never been me.”
“I’ll grant you that.”
“And nothing happened to Shawn’s looks, Melanie. I’ve always thought she was pretty. But looks were never our problem.”
Unexpectedly a moment from four months ago flashed into his mind. A moment when the last thing either of them were thinking about was kids or clocks.
No, all he’d been thinking was that he missed kissing her. He missed how she melted into his arms the moment they hugged. Always. The guys at the station used to tease him about how Shawn always flattened her hips against his when they’d embraced—even if the hug only lasted thirty seconds.
But one night, the hug was all it took for his body to respond the way it always had.
Clearing his throat, Eddie brought himself back to reality. “All I’m saying is that I didn’t think you acted very warm or nice to Jayne when I invited her to the barbecue.”
“I didn’t know what to say. I’m pretty new to you dating. Plus, it was a little uncomfortable. She was here, acting like y’all were on some kind of date.”
“We were.”
“Well, I like you acting like a dad with the girls, at least at things like family barbecues.”
“You liked me fine before I had children.”
“I did. But when you were with Jayne, you seemed…weird.”
Weird? “How?”
“I don’t know. You acted all fake. And you waited on her.”
“Her name’s Jayne.”
“Whatever. You were waiting on her and I’ve never seen you wait on anyone in your life.”
He had. He’d waited on Shawn when she was pregnant. Just remembering how warm and sweet she’d looked when he brought her coffee in bed made him swallow hard.
Then he recalled how devastated she’d looked after the miscarriage. Then nothing could make her smile. He’d been so hurt, too. Had he tried hard enough to lift her spirits?
The memory was too painful. It was far easier to dwell on the evening Melanie was talking about. “I couldn’t have the girls because it was Shawn’s weekend.”
Melanie grunted, not very ladylike, either. “Convenient.”
“You’re going to have to get used to me being divorced, Mel. Bad things happen.”
“I know. But maybe you aren’t better off without Shawn, Ed.”
“I am.”
“Okay, I’ll rephrase. Maybe you aren’t better off with Jayne. I think you’ve jumped right into something without thinking.”
“If I did, that would be a good thing. Shawn always said I planned too much.”
Melanie pushed the magazine to one side and finally looked at him. Really looked at him. “I guess you’re right,” she said softly. “I miss Shawn so much, sometimes I forget how unhappy you both were before you separated. We’re all entitled to move on and change. Next time you bring Jayne around, I’ll put out more of an effort. I promise.”
“Thanks.” He paused. “Maybe one time John can join us and the four of us could go out.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Ever? It’s time for you to move on, too, you know. The guy’s crazy about you.”
After a pause she finally nodded. “Maybe one day soon. Not yet. But maybe soon.”
The familiar sound of his cell phone ring brought them both up short. “Wagner.”
“Eddie, omigosh, the worst thing happened,” Shawn said in a single breath. “I’m so sorry I haven’t called.”
“Shawn,” he mouthed to Melanie before gripping the window frame in relief. “Are you okay? Are the girls hurt?”
“The girls are fine. We’re all fine.”
Closing his eyes, Eddie began a silent prayer, asking forgiveness. Of course a part of him had hoped she’d have a good reason for not being there. Then, almost immediately, his frustration let loose. “What happened?”
“I, um, locked my purse in the house, which is where my cell phone and keys are.”
“What about the extra set?” After the fourth time she’d been locked out, he’d made copies of the keys and created a hiding spot for them in the backyard.
“I never put them back. Not after the last time I used them. I had to go next door to see Delores and ask if I could use her phone to call the locksmith. And you know how ornery she is—I didn’t dare ask to call you.”
“She would have said no,” he replied, smiling in spite of his irritation. “Long distance.”
“You got it. So the girls and I just sat outside and waited for the guy to come.”
“But he didn’t?”
“Oh, he came. The minute after I paid him, we were on our way, but by then the roads were crazy. Listen, the traffic is horrible, so horrible that I haven’t felt like I could do anything but drive with two hands on the wheel. But we’re almost at your place. Ten minutes at the most.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Listen, did you already eat? I could run the girls to a drive-through?”
“We haven’t eaten. We’ll wait.”
“Okay. Thanks, Eddie.”
She clicked off before he could say another word.
“She’s okay?”
“Yeah.” Eddie couldn’t believe it, but he actually felt like smiling. “Locked her purse in the house, but she’ll be here in ten minutes.”
Melanie stood up again. “Sooner than that! There they are!”
Following Melanie out of the house, Eddie found himself chuckling. That had been maybe one minute, tops.
Shawn had never met a schedule she could keep.
SHE’D DONE IT. She’d deposited the girls at Eddie’s.
As Shawn drove along the highway once again, she tried not to think about how empty she felt.
She hated it when the girls stayed overnight at Eddie’s. This weekend was going to be even worse. Eddie was going to have them until Sunday. She had two whole evenings to get through.
Opening the sun roof in her van, she caught the pungent smell of sea air and tried not to think about how desperately lonely she felt, driving away from Bishop’s Gate and back to Destin.
But as the mile markers flashed by on the highway and resort communities gave way to office parks, Shawn’s emotions ran wild as hunger pangs and hormones warred with each other.
Obviously she needed to eat or she was going to be in tears before she drove another three miles.
Though she’d planned to heat up a frozen dinner at home, that didn’t appeal to her. Neither did seeing the disapproving stare of Delores. Making an executive decision, she pulled off at Rocky Ridge Shopping Plaza.
This was something she used to imagine doing right before she and Eddie had separated. She used to crave just a few moments alone. Okay, a few hours. Now she had two days of it and it didn’t feel so alluring.
After parking, she went into Drew’s Diner, a knockoff fifties restaurant that served thick shakes and really good fries.
“How many?” a perky teen in a pink poodle skirt asked.
“Just one.”
“This way.”
Shawn slid into the booth, ordered their Blue Plate Special and a thick strawberry shake, and leaned back.
Moments later, as she was enjoying that shake just a little too much, she noticed a man in the booth across from her also sitting alone.
And he was watching her drink the shake in amusement. “Guess you needed that, huh?”
She met his gaze and chuckled. “Some girls need vodka martinis. I need ice cream.”
He lifted his glass. “Mine was chocolate.” Just after the server placed a plate of roast chicken, mashed potatoes and a side of green beans in front of her, he spoke again. “You dining alone?”
“Yes.”
“I am, too. Any chance you want some company?”
Shawn was stunned. Was she getting hit on? “Thanks, but no.”
“Sure? I’m told my table manners are good.”
He was kind of attractive—if you were into that vintage Robert Redford kind of look. “Thanks, but no.”
The server brought his meal—burger and fries. When their eyes met again, he looked a little abashed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t see a ring and, well, it is Friday night and you’re alone. Are you taken?”
She nodded. “Very much so. I have four kids.”
His eyes widened. “Gotcha.”
Shawn spent the rest of the meal trying not to look at him. Trying not to wonder why she didn’t feel the slightest bit of attraction to a guy who was handsome and obviously found her attractive.
And dared to wonder why saying she was the mother of four for the very first time…hadn’t sounded painful, after all.
Chapter Five
Shawn had four pairs of slacks that she rotated for work. All of them were khaki, wrinkle-free and from the same department store. All were machine washable.
Not a one of them fit.
Glaring at the waistband of the pair she was currently trying to squeeze into, she silently willed it to become elastic. That was the only way she was going to be able to close the two-inch gap. It really wasn’t fair how her body had decided to embrace this pregnancy. Just a few weeks after she’d conceived, her bra felt tight. Now, just four and a half months in, her waist was gone and the “baby bump” was a veritable mountain.
She was going to have to face it. Maternity clothes were weeks away, not months. And they were all going to have to be bought. She’d handed all her maternity clothes to Eddie to discard just days after the miscarriage, stifling any attempt he’d made to suggest keeping the clothes just in case they wanted to try again one day.
After she’d told him flat out that she’d never want to have another baby, he’d taken the sack away without another word.
Only now did she recall the look of hurt that had flashed in his eyes.
“Mommy, we’re done with breakfast!” Kit called from the kitchen.
