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Chapter Three
Anna stepped away from the other side of the door and sank on to the bed. She felt deeply embarrassed that for a second time Jack had rescued her from the attentions of a man who had levelled such terrible accusations at her. Some men might have believed there was an element of truth in them, especially when one of her accusers had known her since her birth. She felt sick with the fear that her mother truly had committed adultery with a French lover and that she, herself, was a bastard child. Had Jack overheard that earlier part of Hal’s accusation? She thought not—surely he would have interfered earlier if he had done so.
Anna closed her eyes tightly, trying to recall the name of the Frenchman. He was a Comte and his name begun with a D…d’Azay! That’s what Hal had called him and she could not deny there had been a ring of truth in his voice. Besides, she did not believe that Hal could have conjured up a French aristocrat for her mother’s lover? If he had wanted to simply blacken her name, surely it would have been more believable to name an English or Welsh man? Anna did not want to believe in this French aristocrat lover, but she did. Which meant Owain and Kate and others had lied to her. It pained her that they had kept the truth from her all these years, but it did not hurt as much as the realisation that they were not kin to her. Their blood did not run in her veins. She was no real member of their family. She was alone. Truly an outcast.
She shivered and climbed into bed and snuggled beneath the covers. Tears trickled down her cheeks. How could she stay here, knowing that she did not belong? She certainly had no intention of returning to Fenwick and was uncertain if she would ever go back there again. Obviously Hal and Will were in cahoots with each other and determined to destroy her. She felt deeply hurt that two men she had trusted could behave so wickedly towards her. Did they really believe the accusations levelled at her? Or had they spoken in such a way purely to undermine her confidence and strength of will to help them get what they wanted from her?
What was she to do? She felt desperately unhappy, worried and confused. How could she make a sensible decision whilst in such a state of mind? Oh, God, why did you have to take Giles and my son from me? Was it because my sins are manifold due to my having been conceived in an adulterous relationship? What is your purpose in punishing me? Howcan I absolve myself from this sin? Or is it my parents’ sin that needs absolving and only I can do it? She desperately wanted to know and was reminded of the psalmist in Holy Scripture who cried to God from the depths of his being to be rescued from the pit of despair.
There came a knock on the door, causing her to start up. Who could it be this time? Jack? Her emotions immediately ran riot. Was there some truth in Hal’s accusation that Jack wanted her for himself? He had not denied it. Perhaps he believed what Hal had said and deemed she would welcome him into her bed?
Her head began to throb.
‘Lady Anna, it’s Megan. I have your sleeping draught here.’
Anna’s relief was overwhelming and her suspicions that Jack might be devious faded. She tumbled out of bed and hurried over to the door and opened it. ‘Do come in.’
The maid viewed her with concern. ‘You looked flushed. I hope you aren’t about to come down with a fever.’
‘No, no,’ said Anna, taking the steaming cup from her and breathing in its fruity, herby fragrance. ‘My mind is in a whirl, that is all. So much has happened today that many thoughts are playing round and round in my head.’
‘You’ve been through a bad time, my lady, but now you’re home, matters will sort themselves out.’
Anna had known Megan all her life. Was it possible she would know if her mother really had had a French lover? She could not blurt out such a question to a servant, but maybe there was a way of finding out without asking a direct question. ‘Master Hal has said such dreadful things to me about my mother since my return that I amat a loss what to do about it.’ Anna climbed back into bed and told the maid to sit down. ‘I fear that certain truths have been kept from me. Sir Hywel, perhaps he was not my—’
‘Ha!’ exclaimed Megan, sitting down on the chest at the foot of the bed. ‘Master Hal couldn’t keep his mouth shut—begging your pardon, my lady, for speaking disrespectful of him.’
‘So it’s true,’ said Anna, her heart sinking.
‘Aye, my lady. Lady Gwendolyn was crazy with love for the French Comte.’
‘She was!’ Anna’s spirits lightened in an amazing way.
‘Aye. Not that he was her first love, but he was her last.’
‘She never loved my—my father, Sir Hywel?’
‘No-oo. He married her when he shouldn’t have. He was almost old enough to be her grandfather.’ Megan lowered her hand and smoothed the coverlet with a steady hand. ‘But then Lady Gwendolyn was a beauty and thought she deserved position and power.’ She lifted her head and smiled at Anna. ‘Now, you drink that potion down. There’s naught like a good night’s sleep to help you see things clearly. Master Owain and Mistress Kate love you dearly.’
‘I deem you’re right, Megan,’ said Anna, her smile false. ‘I am certain that in the morning I will see everything in a different light. Thank you.’
‘God grant you rest and peace of mind, Lady Anna,’ said Megan, getting up.
Anna watched her leave and, placing the cup on the chair by her bedside, went and bolted the door. Then she returned to her bed and drank the sleeping potion. Was her father alive or dead? If alive, was he living in France? Did he have a family? Had they known about her mother? Was he aware that he had a daughter? If so, was it possible he might love her for her mother’s sake? Her eyelids drooped. Placing the empty cup on the chair, she snuggled beneath the covers. Exhausted, she drifted into sleep.
Anna had no idea of how long she had slept before she dreamed that she was in Chester with Giles and Joshua, watching one of the mystery plays. It was the story of Jesus’s temptation in the Wilderness when he confronted Satan. Suddenly the actor playing the role was no longer someone acting out a part, but he was a devil threatening to take her to his fiery kingdom. She broke out in perspiration and started awake with the image of that evil laughing face burning in her mind.
Trembling, Anna rose from her bed and went and splashed cold water on her face. She had to get away from this Palatine of Chester, otherwise she would go mad. There were too many questions that she dared not ask, and she did not want to upset Kate and Owain. She would not be deserting Joshua and Giles because the memory of them lived in her head and her heart. She would carry them with her wherever she went.
Dawn was not far off and she dressed in clothes that still bore traces of the smell of smoke. She allowed herself time to repair her torn night rail before placing it in a saddlebag. Remembering to pick up her lute, she checked the strings had not been damaged from the journey.
She left the bedchamber and tiptoed downstairs, following the fragrant smell of freshly baked bread to the kitchen. There she found Cook and enquired as to whether Master Davy was up and about. He informed her that he and Master Milburn had partaken of breakfast and left a few moments ago. Instantly, she begged of him some fresh bread rolls and spread them with honey. She also filled her leather flask with small ale. Having packed them in one of her saddlebags, she asked Cook to give Owain a message.
‘Tell him not to worry about me, I need some time alone. Most likely I shall go to the convent where I found some peace once before.’ She had decided on this ruse so that Owain and Kate would not worry about her. Somehow she must find a way to get to France.
‘Certainly, my lady,’ he said, scarcely able to conceal his curiosity.
She bid him good day and left.
The sky was streaked with pearly pink-and-cream streamers of cloud. Anna was glad that the day was so fine after yesterday’s thunderstorm and hurried to the stables, hoping Jack and Davy had not yet left. She found them in the stable yard, where Jack was digging out a stone from his horse’s hoof.
‘What are you doing up so early?’ asked Davy, gazing at her in surprise.
‘I have a couple of questions to ask you,’ she said.
‘You’ll have to be quick. We’ll be leaving soon.’
Both men eyed her saddlebags. ‘Where are you going?’ asked Jack.
‘On retreat to a convent where I have stayed before,’ she said, with assumed cheerfulness.
‘Does Owain know you’re leaving?’ enquired Jack.
She thought she detected a note of censure in his voice and stiffened. He looked as if he had not slept well. There were circles beneath his eyes and the scar on his cheek stood out vividly in the cool morning air.
‘I am a widow and past twenty-three summers, Jack Milburn,’ she said firmly. ‘I have had the ordering of my own life since my husband died. I do not have to answer for my actions to any man but the king.’
Jack rubbed his unshaven jaw. ‘That’s as may be, Lady Fenwick, but a woman travelling alone, whatever her standing in the world, is a fool not to consult those who have her well-being at heart.’
She flushed. ‘You would judge me, Jack? I appreciate what you did for me yesterday, but now I must do what is needful for my peace of mind. If you must know, I’ve left a message with Cook for Owain, informing him of my destination.’
He hesitated. ‘What about an escort? Who knows what villains might be lurking ahead?’
‘I doubt the villains would be abroad at this early hour.’ She gave him a haughty look. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I need to saddle up my horse.’ She added in a low voice to Davy, ‘If you can spare me a few moments?’ With a flurry of black skirts, she vanished inside the nearest stable.
Davy rolled his eyes at Jack and followed her.
Jack’s expressionwas grim. He was annoyed because last night Anna had invaded his dreams. Not only had he been plagued by the recurring nightmare of his son being torn from him, but now a terrified Anna being dragged away by a devilish creature had joined that image. He had sensed the devil’s aim was to toss her on to a burning fire and knew he had to prevent it. Yet as he tried to rescue her, something kept dragging him back.
On waking, he had felt drained of all strength, similar in fashion to the aftermath of the fever he had caught in Arabia. He had reasoned with himself that the nightmare was the result of yesterday’s events, but he could not deny the dream had greatly disturbed him, rousing that protective instinct within him again. He wondered what she wanted with her half-brother and waited impatiently for the two to reappear.
Inside the stable, Anna was pleased to find that her broken girth strap had been replaced and she saddled up her horse.
‘So what is it you want from me?’ asked Davy, impatiently.
She gazed at him. ‘I do not want you to mention what I am going to say to Owain or Kate. The Comte d’Azay! What do you know of him?’
‘Who told you about him?’ asked a startled Davy.
‘Hal said that he was my father. Did you ever meet him? What kind of man was he? What did he look like? Where did he come from in France?’
Davy’s expression was dour. ‘You’d be wiser putting the past behind you, Anna.’
Her eyes flashed with anger. ‘That’s a bit difficult when I’ve only just discovered this part of the past that relates to me. I cannot possibly forget that my father is not the man I believed him to be. I need to know more about this Comte. I cannot ask Owain or Kate. I cannot bear to distress them further.’
Davy hesitated. ‘The Comte was a handsome man with foxy red hair. It was the colour of his hair that convinced me that Gwendolyn had played Father false. Also, it was obvious that she was besotted with him.’
‘Did you believe she was also a witch?’
‘No. Hal did. He was for ever saying that Gwendolyn had bewitched Father into marrying her. Your mother was a lovely creature with hair as black as a raven’s wing. She was reared in our household and treated like the daughter of the house. Father was wrong to marry her and deserved what happened to him. But there was naught supernatural about it.’
Anna felt a lot better. ‘Do you know how she met the Comte?’
‘Through her uncle, but he’s dead. Owain knew both men better than any of us. He met them at Domfront in Normandy, where our eldest brother, Martin, is buried. Does that satisfy your thirst for knowledge?’
She nodded. ‘My thanks to you.’
Davy’s face softened. ‘You were brought up an ap Rowan and that’s what you are at heart, Anna.’ He left her standing by her horse.
Anna’s emotions were in turmoil. What Megan and Davy had told her about her parents was enlightening and it was also a relief. They had given her an impression of them that was altogether different to that of Hal’s. She now believed that the Comte and Gwendolyn had fallen in love and herself conceived in a moment of passion. She definitely had to find out if her father was still alive. He might have left for France before her birth. Something to do with the unrest between their countries, perhaps. But how was she to get to France? Her first step was out of this stable. She attached her belongings to her horse and led the beast outside.
Davy and Jack were still in the yard. At the sound of the clatter of her horse’s hooves, both men lifted their heads and stared at her. Then Jack came striding across the yard towards her. ‘I’ll help you mount,’ he said tersely.
She glanced at the mounting block. ‘It really isn’t necessary. I can manage on my own.’
‘I’m sure you can. But allow me to help you this one last time.’
His words startled her. ‘Will we not meet again, Jack? No doubt you will be glad to see the back of me. I cannot deny that our encounters must have proved troublesome to you.’
‘Have I complained? Who knows, Anna, what lies in the future? Travel is a risky business.’
‘Yet you survived.’
‘Aye. But it was not easy.’ He bent and formed a cradle with his hands. For a moment she did not move, but gazed down at his bare head. She was aware of an urge to stretch out her hand and smooth his untidy dark hair. Her thoughts even travelled as far as imagining being held close to him. She sensed that if he made love to her, then her fear and loneliness might vanish. How ridiculous a thought was that in the light of what they knew of each other? He glanced up at her and their eyes met. She felt a dart of sensation in her breast and a rippling in her stomach.
‘What are you waiting for? I’m in a hurry,’ he rasped.
‘You offered your assistance, I did not ask for it,’ snapped Anna, placing a hand on his shoulder. She was instantly aware of the strength in the muscles there and placed her foot in his laced hands. She felt his fingers brush her ankle above the short boot and experienced a frisson of pleasure. Then her breath caught in her throat as he raised her into the air as if she weighed no more than a dandelion clock. The moment was spoilt when he threw her into the saddle as if he could not wait to be rid of her.
She scrabbled for the reins with one hand, whilst attempting to arrange her skirts decorously with the other. She was about to thank him for his assistance, but he had turned away and was crossing the yard to his own horse. She watched him haul himself into the saddle and gather up the reins. She turned her head away for a thought had suddenly occurred to her—one so shocking that she questioned her sanity.
Jack caught Davy’s gaze on him. ‘What?’ he demanded.
The older man smiled faintly. ‘Did I speak, lad? So, what are we going to do about her? We can hardly allow her to ride off alone.’
Jack’s face was grim. ‘You heard her. She has the ordering of her own life and answers to no man but the king. I deem she would not even take orders from Edward, the mood she is in. Although he is in France, so we cannot put that to the test. She’s your sister. You deal with her.’
Davy half-opened his mouth and then clamped it shut. He watched Anna ride out of the yard and thought that, on horseback, she truly was an ap Rowan.
Jack’s eyes smouldered as he gazed after her. He wondered what had been on her mind when he had caught her watching him a moment ago. If he were superstitious like Hal, he might have believed she was attempting to enslave him with the power of her lovely eyes. He shook his head as if to rid himself of the thought, telling himself that he must not blame Anna for the lust she roused in him. She had an excellent seat. Remembering her fall from her horse yesterday, he was filled with admiration. Surely she must be suffering some after-effects after all that had happened to her. Yet she made no complaint. If only life were different. But he must put her out of his mind.
Anna was seized by doubt. She must be mad to be considering travelling to France. It was true what Jack had said. Travel was a risky business. Shewondered who had been responsible for selling Jack into slavery. Could it have been a business rival? Giles had told her that there was a lot of money to be made from trade. The best woollen cloth, parchments, tapestries, gold and silver and other luxury goods could fetch a goodly price. Yet how could an English man such as Jack outdo the merchants on the Continent, whose transport costs would slice his profits? It didn’t make sense for a foreign rival to get rid of him. Unless it had been a fellow countryman?
She nibbled on her lip. What was the point of puzzling over the matter? She would be eternally grateful to Jack for coming to her assistance, but she could expect no more help from him. Soon, their ways would part. Once they reached the highway, she would go in the direction of Chester on the pretence that she intended seeking sanctuary at the convent and he and Davy would turn in the other direction towards the Wirral and Birkenhead Priory, where one could take a ferry across the Mersey to Liverpool. Even at this early hour, the road would be busy with monks and clerics bound for St Werburgh’s Abbey, as well as peasants, merchants and others going to market, so there was no need for them to worry about her.
If it had not been for their earlier exchange in the yard, Anna might have been tempted to ask Jack outright to give her passage on his ship to France, but she doubted he would agree. If only she could smuggle herself aboard and not be discovered until they were out at sea. But that plan was out of the question if his ship was anchored in the Dee estuary.
She came to the end of the lane and there she waited for the two men to draw alongside her. ‘So, Anna, you’re still of a mind to go to the convent?’ asked Davy. ‘You could come and stay with Joan and me for a few days and see the new baby.’
She was warmed by his thoughtfulness. ‘It’s kind of you to ask me, Davy. Perhaps another time. At the moment I would not make cheerful company and that might upset the children. Besides, you have Beth with you.’
‘Give it a sennight then and we’ll look to see you.’ He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
‘Give Joan and the children my warmest regards,’ she said softly.
He nodded and drew his horse away from hers.
Anna was aware of Jack’s frowning eyes upon her. ‘Why so glum, Jack?’
‘Are you sure you’ll be safe travelling without a companion to this convent? I hope you have no plans to take the veil?’ His tone was brusque.
She stiffened. ‘Now there is a thought.’
His frown deepened. ‘You wouldn’t, Anna?’
‘Why not, if it is God’s will for me?’
‘To shut yourself away from the world and never see all those you hold dear? You can have no idea what that is like,’ he rasped.
‘And you do, Jack?’
His smile was grim. ‘Don’t do it, Anna! Return to Rowan. Owain will protect you.’ His horse was growing skittish and chaffing at the bit and he knew he would have to go.
She smiled. ‘I hope you have a safe journey, Jack. By the way, what is the name of your ship?’
‘Hercules.’
‘It’s a fine name for a ship.’ She held out a hand to him. ‘Fare thee well.’
He clasped her hand briefly and then relinquished it and rode after Davy.
Anna remained where she was for several minutes, deliberating which path to take to West Kirby that would not bring her into contact with Jack before it was absolutely necessary. The back lanes would be best as they were less frequented. With luck she might reach there before him, although the success of her plan to get aboard his ship was dependant on the tide. When the tide was out at West Kirby, a great expanse of sand was exposed, so that no ships could sail right up to the water front. At such times one could walk out to the three islands in the estuary. The furthest was two miles away, so one needed plenty of time to reach it. Otherwise, there was the possibility of drowning on the incoming tide or being forced to spend several hours on Hilbre, the largest of the islands, waiting for the tide to retreat again.
She wondered how Jack’s master mariner knew when to come inshore to pick up Jack if the ship was anchored out in the bay. Perhaps they had worked out a signal or maybe Jack intended hiring a boatman to row him out to the vessel from the island. If the tide was out, then she was presented with a severe problem. But, after the events of yesterday, and the dreams she had had, she was curiously reckless. Most likely the feeling would not last and she would descend into that pit of despair again, but for the moment her mind was fixed on going to France. So she rode towards a lane that would eventually bring her to West Kirby and the sea.
Jack gazed out over the expanse of sand between the mainland and the small islands in the Dee estuary where the Hercules was anchored. According to a couple of fishermen mending their nets, it was going to be a few hours before the tide turned. They had given him directions concerning the safest path to walk to the largest island two miles away—a path he had traversed with others on his arrival, but he had appreciated being given fresh directions for the return journey. He had handed over his hired horse to the stables and quaffed a tankard of ale and eaten some bread and cheese at the inn andwas now about to set out. His eyes narrowed against the sun glistening on the sand. He guessed it would take him about an hour to reach Hilbre Island where he would signal to his ship. He could see the silhouettes of people making a similar voyage, so he knew he was not alone. Putting his best foot forward, he headed across the sands.
Anna arrived in West Kirby half an hour or so later. Whilst leaving her horse in the charge of a stable boy, she recognised the stallion that Jack had ridden. ‘How long since this horse’s rider left?’ she asked.
