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‘Be mine tonight, the best night of your life …’ He stepped off the stage, an impromptu move, and claimed the girl’s hand. Fingers snatched at him from all directions, mauling his clothes and tugging him close. But Kevin’s gaze remained on the girl’s. ‘Don’t put up a fight, let me hold you tight …’
The girl stared back at him in open worship, her lips sweetly parted.
Kevin hit the closing high note, tipping his head back to belt it, and before the lights went down he twirled once, brilliantly, on the spot, punching his arm high into the air. The applause was ear-splitting. Kevin returned to the stage to receive Craig Winston’s praise, and decided then that he would be banging that girl tonight.
‘Never go with a fan.’
That had been one of Sketch’s first nuggets of advice.
But Sketch wasn’t here now, was he?
The girl was. His assistant had sorted it.
‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ the girl told him, her voice shaking wildly as she perched on a chair in his dressing room. Kevin was busy peeling off his suit.
‘You don’t mind …’ he gestured to his bare, sweat-drenched torso, ‘do you?’
She blushed and turned away. ‘I, er …’
‘What’s your name?’ he asked, relishing the power. This was a different kind of power to the power he felt on stage. Sexual. Potent. Animalistic.
It would be his first time. Great that she was older, she could steer him if he needed it, but his own pleasure would be paramount. It was the golden combination.
‘M-Marie,’ she faltered.
‘That’s a pretty name.’
Kevin kept his pants on for now. He was conscious that he hadn’t yet got hard. When were you supposed to? Now? When she got her tits out? After it went in?
He stroked her hair. ‘You like me, don’t you?’ he warbled.
‘Yes,’ Marie choked.
‘I bet you never thought you’d be here, right?’
‘N-no.’
He leaned down. ‘I’m going to have sex with you,’ he whispered.
Marie’s eyes were pools of lust. She tried to kiss him.
‘Not yet,’ he told her. ‘Take your top off.’
Her fingers trembling, Marie undid the buttons of her shirt. Underneath she was wearing a plain white bra. Her stomach was pale and smooth and she had a constellation of freckles on her chest. Kevin reached to touch them. Slowly his hand moved lower, cupping her breast. It felt heavy in his palm, like a balloon filled with water. He handled it enquiringly, as if he were testing the weight of a bag of sugar. He moved to the other one, and her nipple stiffened under his thumb.
Marie tucked her arms behind her back and released the clasp. Her tits sprang into view, full and white. Kevin registered a faint ripple of longing, obstructed before it reached his groin: a message that wasn’t quite computing.
He continued to fondle distractedly, like a chef oiling a cut of pork.
‘Do you like them?’ Marie asked in a small voice.
He supposed so. ‘Yeh.’
For Marie it was a green light. Quick as a flash, she was fumbling into his underpants, attempting to release his coiled-up dick.
‘What’s the matter?’ she asked when he pulled away.
‘Nothin’,’ he grunted. ‘You done this before?’
Marie lifted her chin. ‘Course.’
‘Good.’
As if to prove it, Marie shuffled out of her skirt and knickers and stood before him in all her naked glory. Kevin watched the triangle of fuzz between her legs, warily, as if it were an animal about to pounce. Still he felt nothing.
Maybe he should speak to Sketch about increasing his vitamin dosage.
One blue pill, one red pill, every day like clockwork—he had to stay healthy, Sketch vowed, keep ahead of the competition. The pills were a special formula designed to soothe, relax and nourish. Kevin had been guzzling them for as long as he could remember. Given how out of control he had felt lately, he dreaded the thought of what he would be reduced to without them. Without them, he might die.
Joan had made sure in those early days that he never missed a pill. Do what Sketch says, honey; Sketch knows best. Of course Sketch knew best. Sketch always did. It was gruesome how much of a brownnose Joan was—all yes, Sketch this and yes, Sketch that. Her head was so far up Sketch’s ass you could practically see her toenails in the seat of his pants.
‘Can I give you a blowjob?’
Kevin looked down at his dangling appendage. Maybe once it got in Marie’s mouth it would start doing something. But that never happened in porn. The guy’s penis was already an upright, splendid spear—not a flaccid, starved little thing that resembled a gerbil at the bottom of a cage. He wanted to weep.
Kevin backed up. ‘Actually, I don’t think—’
Marie moved like lightning. She was a substantial size, the same height as him easily, and threw him against the dressing room door. Tits smashed against his chest and her glossy lips attacked his face. He could feel her warm, fruit-scented breath, and before he knew it she was clasping his dick, rubbing it with the flat of her hand, up and down, up and down, until the friction started to burn.
‘Stop it.’ He took her wrist. It hurt. ‘Back off a second.’
‘Let me, Kevin, please,’ she begged. ‘I promise it’ll be good—’
‘No—’
‘I’ll swallow. I promise to swallow—’
‘Stop!’ Kevin pushed her away. Marie stood, helpless, attempting to cover her modesty now the glow of their union was off the cards.
Her bottom lip wobbled. She was about to cry. Great.
‘Get dressed,’ he told her, as kindly as he could. This wasn’t her fault.
‘But …’
‘Just do it!’ he roared. ‘Get dressed and get out. Now!’
With a series of whimpers, Marie took her time pulling on her clothes, waiting for him to change his mind and ask her to stay. When he didn’t, she miserably hauled open the door and slunk outside, her eyes brimming with tears.
Kevin closed the door. He sank to the floor, his head in his hands, trembling.
He felt awful. What a fucking disaster.
12 (#ulink_f304988c-337a-550c-9ed7-ed5c45eb9a75)
Eve Harley paced her Kensington apartment and decided that she would do just about anything right now for a glass of wine. Scratch that, a bottle.
Orlando was due in thirty minutes. She was trying everything she could to distract herself, tidying things pointlessly, rearranging possessions, even attempting to settle down with her item on Mitch Corrigan, but nothing could train her mind.
Their encounter hurtled towards her like a nuclear explosion.
It wasn’t Eve’s style to be nervous. Her job landed her in dozens of compromising positions and she knew how to handle herself. But this wasn’t work.
For once, her private life was centre stage. It was an uncomfortable spotlight.
Her anxiety at seeing him wasn’t helped when she flicked on the TV and caught him live at his London engagement. Orlando was opening a restaurant in Chelsea with a popular TV chef, out on the carpet shaking hands, cameras scattering the night with stars, and his pristine, moneyed grin flashing white in the storm.
In the end, he was late. An hour passed before the buzzer sounded.
Eve had never invited him to her home before. Personal space was off limits, always had been with her boyfriends (not that he was one of those), and the arrangement with Orlando was no exception. As if she was giving something away by letting him see where she’d come from. There wasn’t a great deal of personal memorabilia about the place, and certainly no family photographs, but even so.
Predictably he grabbed her as soon as he walked through the door.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said, gathering her into his arms and nuzzling her neck. He smelled expensive, of leather and cashmere scarves, of warm winter coats.
She pushed against him, went to begin, but he stopped her with a kiss.
‘So this is new,’ Orlando murmured, enjoying the game, ‘calling me up out of the blue—what’s going on?’
Eve stepped away. He mimicked her frown before realising she was serious.
‘Is everything cool?’ he asked.
‘Not really.’ A beat. ‘We need to talk.’
‘Sounds serious.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘OK if I take off my coat?’
She nodded, watching him shrug out of his jacket and hang it on the back of a chair. At last his eyes roamed over her flat, refined by nature of its postcode but still scant compared with the opulence to which he was accustomed. The entirety of it amounted to his en-suite bathroom. Nevertheless, he broke the tension:
‘Nice place.’
Eve wanted to blurt it. Knew she shouldn’t.
‘Can I get you a drink?’
‘A beer would be good.’
She returned with the bottle, cracked the cap and sat down.
‘Look,’ Orlando said, joining her, ‘if this is about Angela I can’t help. I don’t know what she’s doing in Vegas and my father won’t tell us a damn thing. So if it’s that you want then you’ve come to the wrong—’
‘It isn’t.’ Eve waited until he had taken a sip of his beer, wiped his hand across his mouth and then she said: ‘Orlando, I’m pregnant.’
His expression didn’t change.
Eve remembered his teasing on the phone. What was the deal? Couldn’t it wait? He wasn’t planning to be in town for a couple of weeks, couldn’t she hold off having him till then? She would have to; she went in on the joke, acted like it was nothing but every hour since the news had been agony. She had consulted her GP and conception was cited as the New Year. That meant she was coming up for nine weeks.
Eve hadn’t thought anything when she’d skipped her first period—she had never been one of those women who could count it by the day.
‘Well?’ she ventured.
His face was steady and she wondered if this had happened to him before. What was earth-moving to her was another pain in the ass for him. That stung.
‘How?’ Orlando asked.
‘I’ve got a pretty good idea.’
He nicked his chin, the shadow of a beard. ‘We’ve always used protection.’
‘It can still happen.’
Eve looked down to her lap. She hated that she had to cut the apologetic figure. It wasn’t Orlando making her feel that way, just the role the woman had to fill. This was happening to her. It was her body and therefore her problem.
The chair scraped back. Orlando stood. ‘How long?’
‘Nearly three months.’
‘And you just found out?’
‘I did a test in Italy. I called you straight away. I wanted you to know but I felt it was important to tell you face to face.’
‘Why didn’t you do it sooner?’
She chose not to react against the note of accusation in his voice. He was in shock, just as she had been. Just as she still was.
‘First month it was nothing unusual. Second month, it was. That’s when I did the test. The weeks add up. So do the days. Every minute that passes …’
‘What next?’ He turned to the window, put his hands in his pockets. His back was taut, the muscles beneath his shirt strained. She wished she could tell what he was thinking, but at the same time dreaded it. Supposing he wanted to keep this baby?
Eve wasn’t ready to become a parent. Analysing it, she didn’t expect she would ever feel ready. Her own experience had been enough to put her off for life. Her father had been a terrible, violent man. All her memories were riddled with his vile disease.
Who was to say that Eve wouldn’t mess it up as spectacularly as he had? That the damage she had been subjected to wouldn’t be transferred to her own child?
Who could promise, really promise, that that wouldn’t happen?
She dreamed of her baby. It had the eyes of her father and she hated it on sight.
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Orlando asked, turning to her.
