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Especially if she killed him first.
When they reached the landing and circled to her room, Alec turned to face her. He reached for her purse and Celia knew a physical struggle would be pointless. He was coming in and since she hoped to convince him to help her, she didn’t want to cause a fuss about it. Still, she snatched her purse out of his reach and glared at him. “I’ll get the key. Just hold on a second.”
He was impatient, looming over her as if he expected her to pull out a gun instead. Ha! If she had one, she would already have hit him over the head with it. Celia thrust the key into his hand and said at the same time, “I can’t believe your gall. How would you like it if I broke into your home?”
He swung the door open and reached inside for a light. His voice was pitched low, with a husky drawl. “Anytime you want to visit my place, honey, you just let me know. The invitation is always open.”
Celia sputtered, annoyed at what she was sure was another sexual reference. Then the light spilled over them and Alec could suddenly see into her room.
For once his look was comical rather than terrorizing. “What the hell?”
Celia peeked around his shoulder, and flinched. She’d forgotten that she’d left the room in such cluttered disarray. The room’s dingy carpeting could barely be seen for the objects covering it. Alec slowly turned to stare down at her, one black brow quirked high. “What the hell have you been up to?”
“Exercising?” Her voice emerged as an embarrassed squeak. The personal goals she’d set for herself were just that—personal. She didn’t want anyone, especially Alec, to know about them.
He blinked twice, his look filled with skepticism, then again surveyed her room. He took his time, his gaze going over the padded floor mat, the ankle and wrist weights, the five-pound barbells, a jump rope, and finally landing on the expandable chin-up bar she had wedged open in the bathroom doorway. So far, she’d managed to get her chin over it twice. He shook his head, and his long hair skimmed over his shoulders. “Who the hell do you think you are? That crazy broad from the Terminator movie?”
Celia’s face burned and she reluctantly followed him inside, pausing beside the door. “I’m just trying to stay in shape. I was getting too soft.”
His gaze caught hers and held. Two heartbeats later, he slowly reached around her and shoved the door shut with the flat of his hand. His other palm landed on the wall next to her head, caging her in. She could feel his thick wrists just touching her bare shoulders as he leaned down toward her, angling his chest so close she inhaled his scent with every rapid breath she took. “Crazy Celia,” he muttered, nuzzling close to her. “I like you soft.”
She thought about ducking. She thought about running. Her body had other thoughts.
When his mouth touched hers, it was like tasting live electricity. She jerked, gasping at the same time and giving him the opportunity to sink his tongue into her open mouth. Her responding groan told him things she didn’t want him to know.
He ate at her mouth, big, soft, slow love bites that made her want more, made her chase his mouth with her own. She loved how he kissed. “Alec…”
“Hush, it’s okay, baby.” And then he gave her that killer kiss again until her arms were tight around his neck, their bodies fused together, rocking. He was so incredibly hard, so solid. She loved the way his breath was broken, how his hands shook, and the way his hips pushed rhythmically against her where she needed the pressure most…
His mouth moved to her throat, making her toes curl.
“I don’t want to do this,” she whispered, but where the words came from she had no idea. She hadn’t been touched like this in a long time, and she wanted him so badly, her body was with him every step of the way.
Alec growled, “Yes you do.”
Yes I do.
He skimmed one narrow shoulder strap down her arm while his mouth left damp, hot kisses over the sensitive skin of her collarbone, the hollow of her shoulder, the slope of her upthrust breast. She felt cool air touch her breast, then the incredible, contrasting heat of his rough palm as he slid his hand inside her bra. They both groaned together at the exquisite feel of it.
His forehead touched hers, his eyes closed as if in pain while he caressed her, gently learning the shape of her, weighing her in his palm. She could feel a subtle trembling in his entire body, could feel the harsh, rapid thumping of his heartbeat, echoing her own.
“Celia?” He continued to caress her, but his tone sounded strained, as if he held his control on a very tight, very fragile leash. He rubbed her belly with his erection, making certain she understood what he asked.
Tears threatened. Her body was screaming for her to say yes, to give in. It wouldn’t take much to send her over the top, to make her mindless with release. Just the way he cupped her breast, the rough rasping of his thumb over her tender nipple, had her on the verge of climax. She felt empty and hungry, every nerve ending sizzling and alive.
And that’s what upset her most of all.
Why did it have to be this way? Why was she so damn easy? She wanted to be ruled by her mind, by her caring and intelligence and pride. Not by animal lust. Alec had made it plain that he thought her incompetent, that he didn’t want a relationship with her, only sex. And her body didn’t care.
The sob caught her by surprise, shaming her further. Alec froze, going painfully still against her, and then he pulled his hand free and gathered her close and the emotions swelled inside her until they overflowed. She didn’t want to cry on his shoulder, but as usual, he wasn’t giving her any choice.
She struggled to get away from him, but his arms locked around her, not allowing so much as an inch between them.
“Shhh, it’s all right.” One big hand pressed to the back of her head and forced it into the notch of his shoulder. She knew her tears were wetting his bare skin; she could feel the hot, soft skin of his throat against her face. His other hand rubbed up and down the length of her spine, consoling her, comforting her, filling her with immeasurable guilt for letting things get so far out of hand.
After half a minute of fighting the inevitable she clutched him tight. It simply felt too good to be held, to be comforted. Through rough sobs and humiliating sniffles, she managed to choke out, “I don’t want to want you, damn it.”
He rubbed his cheek against her head and answered softly. “Yeah, I think I figured that out.”
She didn’t have room for much leverage, but she got a fairly decent thump of her fist against his solid chest. “Not y-y-you, dummy. Anyone.”
His hand paused in its stroking, then picked up the soothing rhythm again. “Care to tell me why?”
“No.”
“Celia.” His sigh blew over her damp cheek. He tried to look at her face, but she tucked it close to him and held on tight when he tried to tilt her back. She knew her makeup was ruined and she wasn’t done crying, so she had no intention of having him ogle her. “Honey, I have a hard-on that could kill, and it’s not going to be going away anytime soon. Don’t you think it might be nice if you just explained things to me? I really would like to understand.”
She shook her head.
“I know you wanted me.” Again he tried to look at her, wanting confirmation, and again she resisted. “I mean, with the way you were kissing me and moving against me. And your nipples were—”
She groaned, and quickly nodded.
“Then why not, honey? We’re both adults. I wouldn’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
She thumped him again, indignant. “I’m not afraid of you.”
She heard the smile in the way he answered. “Yes, you are.”
“Well, only sometimes.” She sniffed once more and wiped her eyes on his T-shirt, keeping her face close so he still couldn’t look at her. She wasn’t ready to face anyone yet, not herself, certainly not him. “You try to make me afraid.”
“No.”
“Yes you do. You try to make everyone afraid.”
His fingers tangled in her hair and began massaging her scalp. She still felt aroused, but now she felt sleepy, too, utterly drained and strangely protected. She hadn’t cried much since finding out her fiancé was a slimeball using her to hurt her family and hoping to get rich in the bargain. She’d refused to allow herself that luxury. But crying now had felt good, sort of cathartic and cleansing. She drew a slow deep breath, and ended up hiccuping.
Alec kissed her temple. “Celia, why don’t you want to make love with me?”
The way he said that made her want to throw him on the bed and do unspeakable things to his hard, gorgeous body. She started shaking again and he held her a little closer, lending his quiet support. Finally, unable to figure a way out of it, she shamefully whispered, “I’m not like most women.”
That gave him pause and she could feel him thinking, coming up with so many ridiculous, off-base ideas. She shook her head. “I don’t mean…I’m not physically different. Well, that is…”
“Just tell me straight out, honey. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”
A nervous, almost hysterical giggle escaped her tight lips. Oh, she had no doubt he’d love to deal with it. Raymond certainly hadn’t objected, though he’d occasionally taunted her with her weakness. After he’d been found out, Raymond had taken great pleasure in telling her how easy she’d been, how she’d offered no real challenge at all. Well, she would never be easy again, though Alec Sharpe surely did wear on her convictions.
Her mind froze up with that ugly, painful thought and she jerked away from Alec’s hold, turning her back and making a zigzag, awkward path around the cluttered floor to the bathroom. She paused in the open doorway, keeping her back to him. “I want you to leave now.”
Two seconds passed, and he said, “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
She straightened her back and lifted her chin. He was right, after the way she’d just behaved with him, he deserved the truth. Her throat felt swollen from her recent crying jag, and her head pounded as she forced out the awful words. “I have a…a sexual problem.”
Alec didn’t say a word. There was such complete suffocating silence that she couldn’t bear it. She darted into the bathroom and slammed the door, then leaned back against it and covered her face with her hands. Now he knew the truth. He’d likely leave in disgust, wanting nothing to do with her, and her chances of helping Hannah would diminish to almost zero. How could she help anyone else when she couldn’t even help herself?
A hard pounding rattled the door, making her spring away with a short scream. She whirled, one hand clutching her heart.
“Goddammit, Celia, open this door right now!”
She stared, unable to even blink. He was angry?
The door trembled again, threatening to splinter, as Alec hammered on it. She jumped back another cautious step.
“I’m giving you to the count of two, then I’m opening the door my own way.”
Celia gawked.
“One!”
He wasn’t going to give her much time to consider her options, she thought. But then, there was really only one option anyway. She reached for the doorknob.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_2f764963-485f-56fc-9750-d953b813a16f)
ALEC WAS SO MAD he could barely see straight. He opened his mouth to shout “two” and heard the lock click open. He propped his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes, waiting for Celia to present herself. Ha, what did she think, that she could make a crazy statement like that and then just tell him to get lost? Fat chance.
He figured Raymond Stern had something to do with her little bombshell revelation, and he regretted his noble decision to let the law have him. If he could go back and do things over, he would.
“Get your butt out here, Celia.”
Reluctantly she opened the door. Her face was ravaged, blotchy red from her tears and with makeup everywhere. His heart softened, making his entire system go on alert. Damn, but he would rather take a beating than see her cry. His jaw worked for a moment while he fought his natural instincts, to lift her in his arms, toss her on the bed, and prove she had not a single problem in the world. Hell, he wanted her so bad, they’d burn up the mattress in record time. And then he’d start on round two. He figured he could make love to her all night long and not get his fill. But judging by her expression, she wasn’t up to a sexual marathon at the moment. Right now, she needed him rational, not ruled by an overactive libido.
He hadn’t had urges this strong since he’d been a teenager, and back then, he’d had his pick of girls to handle the problem. This time, though, he didn’t want anyone but Celia. And he’d wait—for just a little longer.
He drew a long breath, reaching for a modicum of control, but unwilling to let her know what a strain it was. “I want you to take a shower and change.” There. That had sounded calm enough. Despite the fact that that damn dress she wore was keeping his need on a razor’s edge.
She nodded her head, suspiciously submissive for the moment.
“When you’re done,” he said, watching her closely, “we’re going to talk.”
“I thought you wanted to leave right away.”
“Later. Maybe even in the morning. For now, just get yourself comfortable, all right?” A thought struck him and he added, “Have you eaten? Are you hungry?”
“No.”
No what? No she hadn’t eaten or no she wasn’t hungry? He decided to make the decision himself, which was what he should have been doing all along. He’d order up some sandwiches and coffee, feed her, then get a few things settled with her.
He sighed again. “Where are your clothes?”
“In the suitcase in the closet.”
She stood docile while he opened the case and yanked out jeans and a T-shirt, then handed them to her.
“I need panties, too.” She wiped at her eyes with a shaking hand, removing some of the mascara that was smudged there. His heart thumped again, and that damn tenderness threatened to bring him to his knees. Turning back to the case he grabbed up a pair of pale pink nylon panties and thrust them at her. She sniffed, turned her back, and went into the bathroom without a word.
As soon as the door clicked shut Alec thrust both hands into his hair and pulled. Christ, she was making him crazy. First fighting him tooth and nail, refusing to give so much as an inch, and now acting like an obedient child. He wasn’t at all certain which he hated worse. Celia was constantly taking him off guard; he thought she probably did it on purpose just so he’d never know how to react.
He heard the water start, pictured her naked in the shower, and slammed one fist against his thigh.
To keep his mind off bare, wet, feminine skin, he called and ordered room service. Even in such a rundown rat motel, they had an attached bar with a fairly varied menu and he ordered two sub sandwiches, a pot of coffee and pie. While he was waiting for that to be delivered, he called Dane.
The line was answered on the second ring.
“Yeah?”
Alec heard feminine giggling in the background. He should have known, given the time of night, Dane would be preoccupied. He rolled his eyes. Dane’s marital bliss was about enough to choke a lesser man, but Alec could take it—barely. “I found your sister.”
He heard a shuffling, and the next words were muffled. “Shh, just a minute honey. It’s Alec.” Then into the receiver, “Good job. I never doubted it, Alec. Now I’m kind of busy—”
“She was dressed like a tramp, hanging out in a bar trying to pick up Jacobs.”
Dane uttered one short, crude word.
“Yeah, that’s how I figured it. I got her out of there, but she’s determined to go back. She has some damned vigilante attitude about saving Hannah Barrington.” Alec couldn’t quite keep the disgust from his tone, but every time he thought of Celia putting herself on the line for the Barrington girl he wanted to rage against the injustice of it.
Very quietly, Dane said, “I’m glad she’s concerned, despite how you feel about it, Alec. But I don’t want her involved in that mess.”
“I threatened to fire her if she didn’t back off.”
Dane cursed again.
With a wry twist to his mouth, Alec said, “I see you already guessed how she reacted to that.”
“You’re slipping, buddy.”
“Like hell. I’ll drag her home if I have to. But I’m not leaving her here alone to tangle with Jacobs.”
“Why are you so worried if you really think there’s no problem for Hannah?”
Alec stilled as he realized he’d backed himself into a corner. Even Dane didn’t know his complete reasoning for wanting no part of this particular case, but being Dane, he was likely making some pretty damn astute guesses. Alec tried for a bluff. “Hannah’s probably having the time of her life. But your damn sister alone is trouble waiting to happen.”
“Celia’s not as fragile as you think.” Alec heard a voice in the background, heard Dane whispering, and then he said, “Angel wants to talk to you.”
“No! Damn it, Dane, don’t you dare—”
“Hello, Alec.”
Alec sighed. When he got Dane alone, he was going to strangle him. “Hi, hon. How’re you feeling?” Angel didn’t seem to have any problems carrying this baby, but like Dane, Alec would feel a lot better if she took things a little easier. The trauma she’d gone through with her first son, Grayson, was still fresh in everyone’s mind—except maybe Angel’s.
