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“No, but I assumed...” He shook his head. “I’ll drive you home.”
“Nooo, you will not.” It was difficult enough being with him in a break room; a closed car would be too much temptation. “Thanks anyway.”
Irritation honed his tone. “Damn it, Avery, this is a tricky situation for me.”
For him? “That has to be a joke, right?”
The muscles of his jaw flexed. “I wish you hadn’t walked in on me today.”
“That makes two of us!”
“But you did,” he stated, “and I think we should talk about it.”
Oh, no, she would not let that intimate tone and determined expression win her over. “I’m not your keeper, Rowdy. And believe me, even without the peep show today, I wasn’t ignorant about your...overactive sex drive. I just hadn’t expected to trip over it at work.”
“It was before work, and an isolated incident.”
Of all the nerve! “You’re saying it’s never happened before?”
“Sure it has.”
Her stomach cramped—until he continued.
“But not here.”
Sputtering, Avery snapped, “Here is what I was talking about!”
“Yeah?”
He left her so disconcerted, she could barely find words. “I wasn’t suggesting that you had never...that you hadn’t...” No, she couldn’t spell it out for his amusement. She squared her shoulders. “I’ve never met a more uninhibited person.”
Male arrogance curled his mouth. “So it was just the location that upset you?”
“I’m not upset!”
At her raised voice, he lifted a brow.
Inhaling in a bid to regain control, Avery said more calmly, “What you do in your own time is your own business.”
“That was my own time—time I wanted to spend with you, but you weren’t interested.”
Dropping the shirts, Avery propped her hands on her hips. “That’s your excuse?”
He eased closer. “Sorry, honey, but I don’t need an excuse.” Oh-so-gently, he smoothed back a curl that had escaped her ponytail. “I’m a grown man, it’s my bar and I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up so early, especially not you.”
“Perfect!” She snatched up the shirts again, anxious to be on her way. “I guess that’s settled then.”
Rowdy caught her arm. “Hold up.” She started to jerk free, until he said, “Come on, Avery, give me a chance to explain.”
It wasn’t the smartest move, because every second with him chipped away at her resistance, but she paused anyway.
“All right, let’s hear it.” This ought to be good.
But then again, maybe not.
* * *
TO GIVE HIMSELF a moment to think, Rowdy took the garments from Avery and tossed them back on the table. With her looking so mulish—and so damned cute—he would have preferred backing her up to the wall and following his instincts instead of talking.
But he could just imagine how she’d react to that.
Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, he tried to figure out what to say, and how to say it.
Overflowing with belligerence, Avery crossed her arms. “Any day now.”
“Give me a second, will you?” He propped a hip on the tabletop and scrutinized her. “You might not know this, but I’ve never explained myself to a woman before. That is, a woman other than my sister. But even with Pepper, it was generalizations. Never anything detailed about when, where or with who I had sex.”
Avery bristled. “You don’t have to explain to me, either.”
“I think I do, but it’s complicated by the fact that you work for me.”
When he said no more, she lifted her chin. “How so?”
Rowdy had never had a problem with plain speaking. He saw no reason to start complicating things now. “I have a major jones for you, Avery. You know that.”
Her jaw loosened. “Oh, my God. You are so—”
“But as your employer,” he interrupted, “I could cross a line here if I’m not careful.”
She choked. “Seriously, Rowdy? This is you being careful?”
To hell with it. Brushing his knuckles over her cheek, down her throat, he said, “I want you. All the fucking time.” Even when I’m with other women. He opened his hand on her shoulder, urged her closer. “And it’s not going away anytime soon.”
She softened the tiniest bit, but still said, “Looked to me like it went away just fine this morning.”
Seeing the hurt she tried to hide with sarcasm, he shook his head. “No, honey, not even close.”
Her mouth tightened. “So your date was just—”
“You’re confusing things now. I don’t date. What you saw was sex, plain and simple.”
“Oh, my God.” She pressed her hands to his chest, but not with any real conviction at pushing him away. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“She knew what it was.” Rowdy easily held on to her. “I didn’t sugarcoat things, and she agreed one hundred percent.”
Anger darkened her blue eyes and lowered her voice to a rasp. “I can’t imagine why you’re telling me this.”
Because what you think of me matters. Rowdy slid his hand to the back of her neck, keeping her near. “I get the feeling you saw me with her and you took it personally.”
“Your ego is showing.”
Knowing he’d hit a nerve, Rowdy dipped his head, brushed his nose over her hair. “You think it was a rejection or something.” He inhaled her scent, and tightened all over. God Almighty, the way she stirred him...
“Honestly,” Avery whispered, “I don’t know what to think.”
“Think about saying yes instead of no.”
She drew back a small fist and punched his ribs.
Grinning, Rowdy hugged her. After the long day at work, it felt better than good to hold her. “I shouldn’t tease?”
“Definitely not.”
“Okay.” He kissed her temple and leaned her back so he could see her face. “Seriously then, I’m sorry if it hurt you in any way. Never my intent, believe me.”
She looked up at him, her blue eyes big and soft, her hands now curled into his shirt—holding on to him. “Then why did you do it?”
At least she wasn’t storming off, Rowdy told himself. She sounded far more reasonable than he could have hoped for. “I didn’t want her in my new place, and she didn’t have any privacy in hers.”
Eyes flaring, Avery finally shoved him away. “Ass!”
To be on the safe side, Rowdy moved to lean in the doorway, but she didn’t try to leave.
She only went to the other side of the table—out of his reach. “That’s not what I meant. Yes, I’m surprised you’d do such a thing here at work. But I was asking...” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
No, he wouldn’t let her do that. “Why was I with her in the first place?”
After a long hesitation, she gave one sharp nod.
He didn’t want to detail the extent of his own failings, but he also didn’t want to end the night with her pissed off. He considered making up a believable story, but he knew he wouldn’t lie to her.
What he saw in her beautiful eyes touched him.
She wanted him to have a good excuse because she wanted a reason to give in to him.
To chase off his personal demons, he’d spent the night in a sexual marathon. He should have been well spent, and he had been.
Before Avery.
But now, with her so close, being alone with her, seeing that particular look in her eyes, he instead felt like he’d spent a month being celibate.
He’d tell her the basics and it’d have to be enough. “Women have usually come easy to me.”
“There’s a newsflash.”
From the day they’d met, before he’d bought the bar, Avery had seen him picking up women. Not something he was proud of, but not really anything he’d try to hide, either. He was a grown man and he more than enjoyed sex.
Determined to stay on track, Rowdy ignored the gibe. “When I get turned down, it doesn’t matter.”
“Why would it?” Like an accusation, she said, “There’s always another woman waiting.”
He shrugged, accepting the inaccurate claim. “That’s not the point.” Once again, he moved toward her. He couldn’t seem to help himself. From day one, Avery had drawn him, not just physically but in other, more disturbing ways—ways he didn’t want to analyze too closely. “I’ll try to explain if you let me.”
She crossed her arms. “I’m all ears.”
No, she was all backbone and pride and, even when trying to conceal it, hot sensuality. “When I get turned down, and believe me, I do, it doesn’t matter because I don’t care enough for it to matter.”
She half turned away. “Guess I should remember that, huh?”
Rowdy brought her back around, and though it unnerved him, he admitted the truth. “With you, it matters.”
She searched his face, but wasn’t convinced. “That’d be easier to believe if I hadn’t busted you just this morning.”
He needed to get her past that. “I needed a distraction, that’s all.”
Dubious, she asked, “Sex?”
“Best distraction I’ve ever found.” He’d still been in his early teens when he’d learned that girls brought light to the darkest shadows. He’d always been big for his age, always looked older, and girls had taken his quiet, cautious nature as maturity.
While other boys were busy playing ball or...fuck, maybe G.I. Joe for all he knew, he’d been running interference for his little sister. He’d defended her verbally, and when that didn’t work, he’d protected her physically. For as long as he could remember, he’d done his best to shelter Pepper from the reality of their lives—which often meant accepting the brunt of the abuse himself. As a result, turmoil sometimes exploded inside him.
Thanks to a high school cheerleader, he’d lost his virginity at fifteen. What an eye-opener that had been. He’d learned that grinding release had a profound way of emptying his mind and body of pent-up tension. With sex as a stress reliever, he could cope with whatever life threw at him.
But none of that had anything to do with Avery.
“Rowdy?”
That gentler tone set him on edge. She’d watched him get lost in thought, and damn it, he never did that. Definitely not with women. “What?”
“Is something wrong with the bar?” Concern softened her expression. She touched his arm. “With you?”
“No.” Did she honestly think he’d go mewling to a woman if he did have a problem?
“Then why did you need a distraction?”
Damn it. He’d said too much. “It’s getting late.” He checked the time. “You’re going to miss that bus if we don’t get moving.”
“Oh, shoot!” Jumping away from him, she shrugged into her lightweight jacket and gathered the new shirts and aprons together. After slinging her purse strap over her shoulder, she rushed to the break room door and...hesitated. “Are you leaving now, too?”
Right behind her, Rowdy took the shirts from her. “I’ll walk you out.”
Her shoulders loosened. “Great. Thanks.”
Expecting an argument more than easy acceptance, Rowdy asked with suspicion, “How often do you take the bus?”
“Always.”
So night after night she left on her own? At two in the morning? And here he’d always thought her so sensible. Had he known, he’d have been walking her out every night.
