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“Save the sarcasm, Justine. What are you after?”
A sigh eased through her lips before she could stifle it. She lifted her chin in defiance, but thought better of the words about to spill out and decided to bridle her tongue. No point in making an enemy of Duncan’s sister. “I’m trying to make a living while I develop some writing skills. That all right with you?”
Banks sat on the edge of a leather arm chair, leaned forward, and cupped her knees with her hands. “I’ll buy that. For now. If I were you, though, I’d watch it with Duncan. For all that heman front, he’s as tender as Tonya, and I’ll tell you one more thing. Girl, if you ever trip his trigger, you’re in for a full-scale war.”
“Thanks. But why are you telling me this?”
Banks’s raised left eyebrow was meant to question Justine’s intelligence. “You kidding? Deny it all you please, girlfriend, but you want Duncan just about as much as I want Wayne Roundtree. From what I’ve seen, I suspect you’d be good for him. Of course, what I’ve seen also tells me there’s plenty more to you than meets the eye.” At Justine’s barely contained annoyance, she went on, “Don’t mind me. I say what I think. That way you know where you stand with me. Can’t say that for my brother, though. He’s about as open with his thoughts as a deaf mute; by the time you figure it out, your name is Mudd.” Wayne joined them and saved Justine a rejoinder.
“Are you headed back to Frederick tonight, Leah?”
Justine could barely refrain from grinning when Banks pulled air through her teeth and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “Wayne, we aren’t going to get anywhere if you insist on calling me Leah. My name is Banks.”
“Get real, Leah. I can’t call you Banks; that’s what I call your brother.”
“Then call him Duncan,” she huffed. “He loves his name. I can’t stand mine.”
“It’s a lovely name, and I like it. Brings to my mind a graceful swan, long-necked and elegant, as you are,” Wayne said, and Justine thought of telling Banks that Wayne Roundtree wouldn’t be browbeaten. “I repeat, going to Frederick?”
“I have to,” she mumbled, in a manner that suggested she wasn’t pleased with him. “I’m working tomorrow.” She bunched her shoulders. “Duncan would love it if you drove me. Save him the long trip tonight.”
Wayne raised up to his full height of six feet, three inches and bestowed a cool smile on Banks. “Leah, I don’t give two hoots what Duncan would love, and I’m not trying to save him a trip anywhere. I want to know what you would like. Do I drive you?”
“That would be nice,” she said in a barely audible voice.
Justine left them to settle the matter and slipped upstairs to look in on Tonya. All evening, she’d longed to sit beside the child’s bed and watch her sleep, to be there for her when she woke up and see her smile of recognition. Torn between the desire to nurture Duncan’s interest into a living, permanent emotion and the need to preserve her status as Tonya’s nanny, she’d needed reassurance of Tonya’s affection—the one thing that could fill her life forever. Her heart pounded in joyous rhythm as she gazed down at the sleeping child.
“She’s asleep.”
The sound of his deep, velvety voice sent tremors of excitement ricocheting through her body. “I know. I just thought I’d check.” She cut a wide swath around him, avoiding his eyes as she did so, rushed to her room, and closed the door. She’d never been afraid of relationships, had always delighted in exploring them, game for new experiences. And then Kenneth deceived her. She squeezed her fists tight, fighting to shut out the gnawing sounds of the past, to live in the present, grab whatever happiness came her way and hang onto it.
The stench of the burning rubble, the gutted remains of the Sutton Motel in Falls Church, Virginia and the sight of the black plastic bags tied to gurneys that passed within inches of her came back to her, bridging time, and she was there again. She hadn’t known that she cried out until her door sprang open and Duncan Banks had her in his arms.
“What is it? Why are you shaking so? Justine, honey, tell me what’s the matter.” She had to pull herself together, to reclaim her dignity. She couldn’t let him see her shattered this way. He held her closer in an unmistakable caress, and she wanted to luxuriate in the warmth of his embrace, but her relationship with her child was at stake. She rested her head on his shoulder for a second, lolling in what might have been, and then moved away.
“I’m sorry if I alarmed you, Duncan, but I’m all right now.”
He wasn’t easily pacified. “You don’t get off that simply, Justine, and if you had heard the terror in your voice, you wouldn’t blame me for insisting. What happened to you?”
She didn’t question his right to an explanation, but she couldn’t tell all. “You’re right. It was the sudden memory of a terrible tragedy, so fresh and so real. I…I suppose I forgot where I was.”
“And you’re not going to tell me about it, are you?”
Still shaken, she had to control her voice, lest it tremble.
“Some day, perhaps, if our relationship warrants it. For now, you’ll have to trust me, Duncan. I promise I haven’t committed any crimes, and I have no unpaid debts. You don’t have to worry about my character.”
His grim expression belied his words. “I don’t question your good character, Justine. To mimic you, you wear it wrapped around you like a bold spring breeze. If you’re all right, I’ll leave you. But if you need me…” He let it hang.
She couldn’t face the merrymakers downstairs, so she’d get Banks’s phone number and apologize for not saying good night. She got ready for bed and faced a welcomed fact. That scream was at last a physical reaction to the pain of that morning in Falls Church, Virginia. She still hadn’t cried.
Duncan walked down the stairs with heavy, burdened steps. He’d waste a lot of time if he tried guessing what could have been so horrible that its memory wrung such a terror-stricken scream from Justine. He ought to be grateful that it happened, because he needed a reminder that he didn’t know Justine Taylor. Yet, it was no use denying his strong attraction to her. When he’d held her in his arms upstairs there, he’d felt her pain, and he knew the danger that presaged. A man was headed for trouble when his gut reaction to a woman was to protect her, and he’d wanted to shield Justine from whatever demons haunted and hurt her. He paused on the bottom step, unwilling to break his thoughts and join his friends. Maybe he’d take his annual hunting trip early. Justine was as capable of taking care of Tonya as he was. When he got back home, she’d be out of his system.
He pulled air through his teeth in disgust at himself. He had to straighten out his head. If she had so much as raised her face and looked at him or put her hands near his shoulders, he’d have taken her mouth, the consequences be damned. And that didn’t make a shred of sense. He glanced up at Wayne Roundtree and his baby sister heading for the front door.
“You don’t want me to drive you home, Leah?”
“Wayne’s gonna drop me off on his way to Beaver Ridge.”
He didn’t suppose it was funny; nothing amused him right then. But he couldn’t help enjoying Wayne’s apparent discomfort—until the man reprimanded Banks, “I’m not dropping you off; I’m taking you home. You said you’d like that, and that’s what I’m doing.”
She was about to learn that Roundtrees didn’t let people jerk them around, and the lesson might do her some good. Still…Duncan ignored Wayne’s scowl. “If you want me to take you, Leah, it’s no sweat.” He didn’t laugh when Wayne glared at him, though maintaining a straight face took some mental discipline.
“What do you want?” Wayne asked her, his voice tinged with vexation and his stance just short of predatory.
Banks’s sheepish grin settled it for Duncan even before she said, “He can take me home.” Wayne Roundtree had her number, but it didn’t surprise him when she took care not to get too far out of character and added, “You trust him, don’t you, Duncan?”
A belly laugh rolled out of him. Trust his sister to squeeze the humor out of a situation. “Make him stick to the speed limit, Sis. Wayne drives like a bat out of hell.”
“I’ll open that door,” Wayne said when Banks reached the car.
She shifted her weight to her left foot and let fly with, “Something wrong with my hands?”
She resisted squirming when he stopped inches from her, looked down into her face and said, “No. The problem lies elsewhere. And that’s something you and I are going to get straight before I move this car.”
Tough, was he? “Hmmm. Maybe I’d better tell Duncan he has to take me home after all.”
His hand on her elbow said he meant business. Fine with her. “Leah, I don’t care for this constant stream of sarcasm and cynicism. I’m with you because I want to be, and I assume the same goes for you. But if you’d rather be somewhere else, say the word and we won’t start this. What’ll it be?”
She wished she could see his eyes a little better and figure out what he thought, and she’d give anything to know how to talk to him. She opened her mouth to tell him he couldn’t always have his likes, remembered how long and how badly she’d wanted to be with him, and said, instead, “Are you always so cut and dried?”
“Not usually, but your constant challenges bring out a side of me that I’m not familiar with. Think you can mellow a little?”
“I…I thought I was.”
He helped her into the sleek, maroon-colored Town Car, seated himself, and started the engine. “Do you want us to spend time together?”
Playing it safe, was he? She bristled. “Wayne, I’m not an authority on boy-girl behavior these days, but I think if you want us to see each other, you have to ask.”
He glanced her way briefly before accelerating onto the capital Beltway. “Okay. Okay. Will you spend time with me? I’d like to get to know you.”
He was asking her out. Everything inside of her started swimming, and she grasped her forehead as though to quell an attack of vertigo. Only air came out of her mouth when she parted her lips to speak.
“Well? You turning me down? I though you said you’d wanted to meet me. If I’ve bombed this fast with you, I’m in trouble.”
She grabbed her middle when he zipped into Route 270 and nearly panicked when words still wouldn’t come. In desperation, she placed a tentative hand on his knee and risked a gentle pat. The man had tied her into knots; she’d never been speechless in her life.
He glanced down at her hand resting on his knee. “What does that mean?”
“I…I think you’re nice, Wayne, and we can go out sometime.”
He rested his hand on hers. “On a steady basis?”
Just because the man was wonderful wasn’t a reason to chuck her common sense. “Well, let’s see if that’s what we want. Okay?”
“Works for me.”
They reached Frederick well before driving at the legal speed limit would have allowed. When Wayne parked in front of the white brick house at 75 North Teal, she breathed in sweet relief. “Thanks for the ride home. See you soon.”
He took her hand and walked toward the front door. “I assume you don’t live out here on Teal Street. Let me have your keys.” He unlocked the door with his free hand and walked with her into the darkened foyer. “I’m glad we met. Goodnight, Leah.”
She jerked her hand from his. “I told you not to call me—” His mouth warm and firm settled on hers and scrambled her brain, and she grabbed the lapels of his jacket to steady herself. She’d never felt anything like it. Shivers coursed through her body until she trembled in his arms.
He broke the kiss and gazed down at her as though in wonder. “Is there a guy in your life? Serious, I mean?”
She blinked her eyes. “Why’d you do that? You caught me off guard.”
She luxuriated in his grin, its warmth toasting her like midday sunshine on a deserted beach. “If I’d asked you, I’d never have gotten that kiss, and especially not one that honest. And I’m calling you Leah. Period. Get that?”
He was out of the door before she could tell him he’d be talking to the wind, because she’d refuse to answer him. She lit a cigarette with shaking fingers and made up for lost time.
Duncan told the last of his guests good night, extinguished the lights, and headed upstairs. The light shining beneath Justine’s door caused him some concern, and he left his bedroom door ajar so he could hear her if she called out to him. He stripped and slid into bed. Justine was across the hall from him, crying for all he knew, since she hadn’t come back downstairs, and he was helpless to do anything about it, because she hadn’t trusted him. Then there was Wayne Roundtree and his kid sister. Kid? She was twenty-seven. He hoped the man had sense enough to realize that she was a tenderfoot, that she hid her innocence behind her sharp tongue. He flipped over on his belly. He’d hate to flatten his boss, but he’d do it in a New York minute and wouldn’t think twice about it.
Across the hall, Justine struggled with her reaction to Duncan’s almost kiss. She had wanted it. She rolled over to untangle the sheet twisted around her body. Her unloved body. Behind closed eyelids she saw his lips moving toward hers, slowly. Teasing. Tantalizing her. She parted her lips for the taste of his hot velvet tongue and moaned in despair when it failed to penetrate her welcoming mouth. When her breasts began to ache for his stroking fingers, she swung out of bed, took off her gown and showered. She didn’t fool herself. Duncan wasn’t the only source of her discontent, nor could she attribute it to celibacy, for she’d never been fulfilled. The certainty that she’d never been loved, that her failure at lovemaking with her husband wasn’t her fault, had triggered in her a need to explore herself, to fly. Because Kenneth Montgomery hadn’t loved her, his heart hadn’t been in his lovemaking. She knew that now. And sleeping within fifteen feet of her every night was the epitome of temptation in the person of Duncan Banks, a good-looking, mesmerizing, and powerful hunk of a man who wanted her and whose lure beckoned her. Torment was right here on earth.
Chapter 4
“Phone for you, Justine. I’d appreciate it if you’d answer the phones; I can’t stand those things. I like to see who I’m talking to.”
“All right, Mattie. In a second.” Justine put Tonya in her crib and rustled across the hall to her room.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Justine. I told you I’d call. Big Al gave me your number.”
She looked to the ceiling. Just what she needed, a pursuit by the biggest ego ever to strut on Howard University’s campus. “Hello, Warren. I didn’t tell Al to give out my telephone number. What can I do for you?”
“Well, thanks for the nice warm greeting. How about going to the automobile show with me tomorrow night?”
She had forgotten his passion for cars. “Sorry, Warren, but I’m working tomorrow night.”
“If you weren’t, would you go?”
No wonder he had amassed a fortune by the time he was thirty; he had the tenacity of an ant after sugar and didn’t know the meaning of the word, no. Never had. She walked as far as the cord would reach, then back to her desk. She didn’t need Warren in her life right then. He’d pick until he knew everything and wouldn’t be averse to using against her whatever he uncovered.
“I don’t think so, Warren. Would you excuse me now? I have to see about Tonya.”
“All right, lady, but I’m not giving up. You remember that. I get what I go after, and a lot of people will attest to that fact.”
She didn’t want him plundering around in her life. “Waste your time somewhere else, Warren. We’ve got a business arrangement through Al. That’s all. Look, I have to go. Good-bye.”
Bulldogged as ever, he drawled, “That’s my girl. Same Justine. If you committed a murder, I bet you’d do it in the best lady-like manner. Bye for now.”
She hung up and regrouped. An involvement with any man, not only Warren, would complicate her life. Besides, she couldn’t afford to have Duncan question her suitability as a nanny for Tonya, and he might if she had men visiting her. Still, if she concentrated on another man, maybe she’d spend less time thinking about Duncan Banks.
She got back to the nursery in time to see Tonya’s shoe drop out of the crib. The baby smiled at her, banged her other shoe against the bars and sang out, “Juju.”
Justine stopped herself just as the words, “Mummy’s coming,” perched at the tip of her tongue. She slapped her right hand over her mouth, horrified. Lord forbid that she should ever make that mistake. Weakened by the significance of what she’d almost done, she slumped into the rocker beside the crib, closed her eyes and leaned back. Instead of getting easier as the days passed, the pain became sharper and the charade more difficult. But she couldn’t envisage turning back. Not now. She could never leave her child.
She lay Tonya in bed for a nap, put on a cassette of Mozart chamber music, collected several letters to Aunt Mariah, sat beside the child’s bed and perused them.
“Dear Aunt Mariah, My boyfriend is seeing another girl. He didn’t say so, but I know he is, because he hasn’t called me in two months. Should I drop him? Tearful.”
Justine controlled the urge to laugh, because Tearful had a serious problem. You couldn’t drop what you didn’t have. She wrote:
“Dear Tearful, be a good sport and let him out of it gracefully. A gentle note saying it’s been nice knowing him, and all the best would sound just the right chord, though he doesn’t deserve that. If he’s cheating, forget him. Yours, Aunt Mariah.”
A ringing phone sent her scrambling into the hallway to answer it before Mattie gave vent to her ire.
“Yes?”
“Hello, Justine, Big Al here. I got a couple of great letters about your column. I told ya people would love it, didn’t I? Keep it up. You’re doing good. Just give ’em plenty of horse sense and that family stuff. But you…er…sat down pretty hard on…let’s see, some woman wrote you that her husband—Linden, I believe—was fooling around. You told her to leave him. Justine, baby, that is not family stuff. The only advice you ever give to a woman who’s man is unfaithful is to kick him out. You gotta do better than that, babe.”
So that was why he’d called. Might as well set him straight. “Thanks, but that’s what they deserve. By the way, why did you give Warren my phone number here?”
“You didn’t want him to have it? He said you gave it to him, and he lost it. Wait’ll I chew him out.”
The man hadn’t changed since school days. Dear as he was, she’d have to reprimand him. “Next time, please ask me first.”
“Okay, but you could do worse than Warren. He’s smart. A real go-getter. I know. I know,” he said, as though he anticipated her censure. “He can stick to you like glue, but you can handle that. He’s a good guy. Not a lot of ’em are your equal, you know.”
“Speak for yourself, Al.”
“Okay. Okay.” She could imagine his hand palm out before him. “I won’t do it again. Say, I could have your mail sent to you by messenger.”
She knew that gesture was meant to appease her, but instead, it alarmed her. She didn’t want him to have Duncan’s address. Thinking rapidly, she said, “Then the messenger would know where Aunt Mariah lives.”
She thought she heard air seep through his lips. “Fast thinking. You’re on the ball, honey. We’ll leave it as it is.”
She hung up, slipped back into the role of Aunt Mariah and finished the column, but she couldn’t make herself advise Rose Akers to stay with her abusive man. “Leave him,” she wrote. At the other extreme, Annie K. couldn’t make up her mind to marry a prince of a guy. Justine wrote, “Annie, dear, a woman who doesn’t know champagne from grape juice doesn’t deserve champagne. Yours, Aunt Mariah.”
“Is she still asleep?”
Startled, her head jerked up. She hadn’t heard him climb the stairs. Please Lord, don’t let him ask to see what she’d been writing. She presented him with what she hoped was a smile. “Yes. She’s asleep.”
“How can she sleep with the radio on?” he continued as he entered the room and stepped with a jazzy rhythm directly to her. She didn’t believe he did it intentionally, because there was nothing personal in his facial expression, only concern for his child. But intentional or not, his dancing gait set her on fire. Darn him. She looked away.
“It isn’t the radio, it’s a cassette. She sleeps most soundly when this music is playing, and if she’s awake and I put on Mozart’s ‘Concerto for Flute and Harp,’ she’s very quiet and smiles a lot. I think she enjoys it.”
