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“No man is completely honest and honorable. Take it from me. They’ll take your heart and treat it with total disregard.”
Linette had no desire to know the details behind such a statement, so she ignored it. She had no intention of giving her heart to a man. Her only interest in a marriage to Eddie was escaping from her father’s plans and gaining the right to act according to her conscience.
She turned her attention to the room. It was small. The stove was the tiniest she’d ever seen. It was nothing like the one Tilly, Margaret’s cook, had taught her on. For a moment, she doubted her ability to prepare food despite all her reading. Everything was so different from what she’d practiced on or imagined. She stiffened her spine. She would do whatever needed doing, do it well and without complaint. A tiny table, one wooden chair and a small bookcase crowded with papers and books completed the furnishings. She longed to explore the book titles, but first things first.
“Help me get organized,” she told Cassie. She hung her coat by the door and rubbed her hands together. “At least the table has wings.” Flipped up, they would all be able to crowd around for their meals, assuming they had more chairs.
“We’ll have to take turns lifting a fork to our mouths,” Cassie predicted.
“It’s perfectly adequate. Now let’s organize the bedroom. I want to put Grady’s things where I can get at them.” She took the boy’s hand and stepped into the tiny bedroom. With the two trunks beside the bed there was barely enough room to stand. The bed was narrow. Two would be cozy. Three crowded.
Cassie pointed out the fact. “We’ll have to take turns sleeping.”
Linette reached down and touched the fur covering. “It’s as soft as down. We’ll be just fine so long as we’re prepared to manage.” She faced Cassie squarely. “I seem to recall you complaining about not being able to sleep for fear someone would steal your bag. Or worse.”
Cassie shuddered. “But at least it was warm and roomy.”
“But here it’s safe.” She shoved the narrow dresser hard against the corner. There were nails driven into the logs across the end wall. She bundled Eddie’s belongings onto one hook, freeing up the others. The scent of leather, horseflesh and something subtle, bringing to mind grassy slopes and warm sunshine, assailed her senses. A tremor of anticipation scooted up her throat. She dismissed the sensation and hung some of Grady’s things. She placed her smaller items on top of her trunk.
Cassie stood in the doorway. “I don’t see how we’re all going to fit in here. A person will have to step outside just to change their mind.”
Linette chuckled. “We’ll simply have to make sure we don’t all try to change our minds at the same time.” She’d hoped for a small smile from Cassie but got nothing but a sigh of displeasure. “Come on, Cassie. Look on the bright side.”
“I don’t see that there is one. I’m a widow in a big country. A man’s country, I might add. Need I point out that we are at the mercy of Mr. Gardiner? And if it wasn’t him, it would be another man.”
Linette hated the thought of being at his mercy, but it was true. But only to the degree she allowed it to be. “Then let’s be grateful he appears to be honorable.” At least he hadn’t left them out in the cold.
They stepped back into the other room. It took only two dozen steps to circle the whole house, but as Linette pointed out, it was safe and Eddie was an honorable man so far as she knew. Lord, keep us secure and help Cassie find peace. And help Eddie to change his mind before spring. She had no doubt it could happen. Didn’t the Word say “with God all things are possible”?
Grady shuffled toward the stove and stared at the black surface.
Cassie studied Linette with narrowed eyes. “Were you really prepared to marry Mr. Gardiner, a complete stranger?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Before she could reply, a cold draft shivered across the floor and up Linette’s shins. She turned to see Eddie standing in the doorway, three chairs dangling from one arm and a bulging gunnysack from the other. He kicked the door closed with his foot and stared at Linette.
“I’d like to hear the answer to that.” His gaze burned a trail across her skin, making her cheeks burn.
She ignored the question and her reaction to his look, grabbed a chair and planted it beside the stove for Grady. Simply by turning it about, she could pull him up to the table.
Eddie dropped the other chairs and indicated the women should sit then turned the last chair to the heat.
At his approach, Grady pressed to Linette’s side and whimpered. She wrapped her arm around his tiny shoulders. “Hush, child. You’re safe here. Nice and warm.”
Eddie dug in his pocket and withdrew six perfectly round stones and an assortment of interestingly shaped pieces of wood. Two were round knots. Four resembled crude animals and the other two were smooth lengths. “Grady, here’s some things you can play with.”
Grady buried his face against Linette’s shoulder and wailed.
“It’s not personal. He’s feeling lost. He’ll soon enough realize he’s safe.” It was her daily prayer. The boy had been inconsolable since his mother’s death. She reached for the objects. Eddie dumped them into her palms. They were warm from his touch and her throat pinched tight. She told herself it meant nothing and she dropped them to her lap. “Look, Grady. This one looks like a cow.”
The boy wasn’t interested.
“Perhaps later.” She turned away knowing natural curiosity and abject boredom would overcome fear in short order. “Thanks for bringing the chairs.”
“There’s food and other things I figured you might need in order to survive.” He indicated the sack he’d dropped on the floor.
“Thank you.” She started to edge away from Grady’s grip. “I’ll see to tea.” Please let there be something in that sack I can prepare.
Eddie signaled her to remain seated. “First, I’d like to hear the answer to Mrs. Godfrey’s question.”
Linette shook her head and did her best to look confused, as if she didn’t recall.
The way Eddie quirked one eyebrow she knew she hadn’t fooled him. Nevertheless, he repeated Cassie’s question. “Why would you cross the ocean and most of North America to marry a stranger? Surely there are interested men in England.”
Linette’s shudder was sincere. “Of course, and my father made sure all the men I met were suitable in his estimation.” She tried to keep her voice strong but suspected everyone heard the tremor that came from the pit of her stomach. She swallowed hard and forced back her revulsion. “He agreed to a marriage between myself and a distant relative who to all accounts is rich in land and money.” She clamped her teeth together to keep from revealing how disgusting she found the idea then released them to speak again. “He is a fat old man.”
“How old?” Eddie’s voice rang with doubt.
“He’s fifty-one.” Did he think she’d made up the age difference? Even that wouldn’t have been so bad. It was the way the man looked at her, his eyes undressing her as he licked his lips like a hungry dog. Realizing she clutched at her upper arms as if to protect herself, she lowered her hands to her lap.
“How old are you?” He still sounded unconvinced.
“I’m twenty.” She tipped her chin proudly. “Some might think I’m old enough to welcome any sort of a marriage, but I’ll never be that old.”
Eddie chuckled.
“You wouldn’t find it amusing if you were in my position.”
Cassie sniffed. “Men are never in that position.”
Eddie sobered though his eyes continued to spark amusement. “I’m trying to guess what you said or did to convince your father to let you travel West.”
“Your good name and your letter were enough.” She ducked her head. “I also pointed out the nearness of a convent where I knew I could find shelter and protection.” Her father had vowed all kinds of damage to the convent if she had actually gone there, so it wasn’t really an option.
Grady edged a hand to Linette’s lap and gingerly explored the largest rock.
“Do you know my age?”
She returned her gaze to Eddie. “Margaret said you’re twenty-five.” How must Eddie feel to be turned down by the woman he expected to become his wife? It hurt to think about it. “I’m sorry for your disappointment.”
He held her gaze for a heartbeat. She read a distant hurt, then he blinked and let only his disapproval reveal itself. She would assuredly make a far better rancher’s wife than Margaret ever would. But of course, the heart did not always see what the head knew was best.
“I was married at sixteen,” Cassie said, rocking slowly, pulling Linette’s attention to her. She wished she could erase the pain from the woman’s expression. “We worked hard to save enough money for our passage. Then we worked in Ontario. I wanted to stay there. We had a nice house, but George heard there was good land along the North Saskatchewan River. He saved enough to buy an outfit and settle in the Northwest. We sold everything. But George got sick in Montreal.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I thought I’d die when he died. I used the last of our savings to have him buried,” she moaned. “He deserved far better.”
So did Cassie, but Linette didn’t say so, knowing far too well the woman was given to bouts of discouragement and defeat.
Cassie gave the stove a bleak look. “Here I am not yet twenty-five, a widow. I’ll be alone the rest of my life.”
“God has a plan for your life. He says His thoughts toward us are of peace, and not of evil.” She spoke of a verse she thought to be in Jeremiah.
“I’ve seen little reason to believe God wants to do me good.” Cassie’s voice shook. “Until I see otherwise, I think I’ll trust my own resources.”
“What is your opinion?” Linette asked Eddie. Even if he’d received her letter and agreed to a marriage of convenience, she’d made up her mind not to marry until she was certain of his convictions. He’d expressed his faith in his letters, but she wanted to hear it firsthand. She still wanted to hear it, though marriage now seemed but a distant possibility. But no, she would not abandon hope that God could work a miracle over the winter.
He gave his answer some consideration. “I believe God honors those who honor Him.”
“Yes. I agree.”
“And how do you suggest we do that?” Cassie demanded.
“I can’t answer for everyone,” Eddie said. “For me, it means doing my duty. Honoring my father and mother. Being charitable.”
A man of honor, just as she’d guessed from the first. Surely she stood a chance of finding favor in his eyes. She tried to signal her relief to Cassie. But the other woman only stared at Eddie.
“So you think if we do what is right, God will treat us fairly?”
“That’s my belief.”
“So what did I do wrong to lose a husband and two babies? They were born beautiful and whole but never drew breath.”
“I can’t say. That’s between you and God.”
“Oh, no,” Linette protested. His words sounded condemning, as if Cassie harbored secret sins. Linette found such reasoning to be flawed. “You can’t reduce God to human intelligence and emotions. There are circumstances we aren’t aware of. We don’t see the big picture, but God does. That’s where trust comes in.”
Cassie made a sound of raw disbelief. “When you’ve lost everything, then you can talk to me about trust. Until then, it’s only childish wishing.”
Linette ached for Cassie’s pain, but the woman was stronger than she realized to have survived such hardship. However, Linette couldn’t imagine enduring such tragedies without God’s help. “Whatever happens I will trust God.” She wondered what Eddie thought and met his gaze, felt a jolt in her lungs at the way he studied her.
“I hope you never have occasion to believe in anything but the goodness of God.” Did he sound just a little doubtful? As if he considered it possible? This situation was about as bad as things could get. And her faith had not faltered.
“‘He will never leave me nor forsake me.’ Now I’m going to make tea.” She clapped her hands to her knees, startling Grady, who whimpered and buried his face against her shoulder. She put the toys on the floor, took his hand and drew him after her toward the sack.
Eddie jumped to his feet and accompanied her. “Cookie wasn’t sure what you would want. She says if you need anything, just trot on over to the cookhouse.”
“There’s another woman on the place?”
Eddie chuckled at her delighted surprise. “Yup. Cookie.”
Linette stepped past the sack to peer out the window. “Which is the cookhouse?”
Eddie stood close to her, bending a little so he could see out the window. “Can’t miss it. It’s the two-story building right across the road. Cookie—Miz Liza McCormick—and her husband, Bertie, live on the upper floor, but mostly you’ll find both of them cooking and feeding the crew.”
“Liza? Pretty name. How many are in your crew?”
“During the summer, there’s twelve men, give or take, plus me and the McCormicks. Less once winter sets in. Six or eight men. Right now most of them are up in the hills, edging the cattle down. And best call her Cookie.”
“Another woman. Isn’t that nice, Cassie?”
Cassie showed marginal interest. But it didn’t dampen Linette’s relief. The place suddenly seemed a lot more civilized and friendly. She studied the building across the wide expanse Eddie had called a road. As soon as possible, she’d pay Liza—or Cookie, if she preferred—a visit. Eager to get on with this new life, Linette spun away from the window and almost pressed her cheek to his chest.
His eyes widened.
Something quivered in the pit of her stomach.
Their gazes held for a moment of nervous awareness at the realization they were going to be sharing these tight quarters for several months.
She ducked her head, lest he guess at the way her heart had come unsettled. She could expect such encounters throughout the winter. She must prepare herself. Learn how to keep her emotions under lock and key. She would not be controlled by feelings.
The winter...only a few months...but more than long enough for God to work a change in Eddie’s heart. In the meantime, she had to prove to him how nice it was to have her around.
* * *
“Let’s see what Cookie sent over.” He hadn’t meant to be drawn into questions about Linette’s personal life. What did it matter to him if her father had chosen a marriage partner she didn’t welcome? Yet the idea made his muscles tighten. He’d seen the way she held herself and knew she didn’t make up her fears. It couldn’t be pleasant to be controlled by a father who didn’t take her feelings into consideration.
He could only hope something would change on her behalf before spring when he’d send her back to her father.
Linette tried to extract herself from Grady’s clutches. “Look, Grady. Play with these things and I’ll make you something to eat, but I can’t work with you hanging from my arm.”
Grady poked his face around Linette enough to expose one eye. He saw Eddie and with a loud cry burrowed into Linette’s skirts.
Eddie backed off, carefully avoiding looking directly at the boy.
Grady waited until Eddie picked up the sack and carried it to the table before he untangled himself from Linette’s side and hurried back to the stove, where he squatted to examine the objects that would have to pass as toys until something better could be found or fashioned. Grady made sure to keep his face toward Eddie as if he had to know where the enemy stood.
Linette edged to Eddie’s side. “Thank you for being patient with him.”
He pulled flour and sugar from the sack as he considered her words. Why should she care, when she had no connection to this child? Yet it made him realize even more how generous his father had been in taking in himself and his mother and giving them his name. He redoubled his vow to live a life that would honor that gift. “He’s not a lot different than a scared animal. Here’s a slab of bacon and other things Cookie thought you could use. Lots of women wouldn’t give an orphaned child a second glance.” In his case, his father and mother had married. Eddie was part of the union. But Linette had no connection to this boy. “Why do you?” He kept his voice low so Grady wouldn’t hear.
She shifted the supplies around, examining them and lining them up. “We need a shelf for these.”
Just when he thought she intended to ignore his question, she faced him.
“I simply cannot walk by someone in need and pretend I don’t see them or can’t help them.” Her eyes flashed some kind of challenge as if she’d had to defend her views before.
“I’m guessing your feelings haven’t met with approval.”
Her sigh puffed out her cheeks. “According to my parents, ladies don’t soil their hands with such matters. They say there are people whose calling is to do such things. People of the church. Not regular people.” All the while she talked she held his gaze. Her compassion and conviction poured from her like hot tea.
“You’ve rescued an orphan boy and a widowed woman. I’d say you’ve done your share.”
Her eyes turned to cold amber. “Are you warning me?”
“Miss Edwards, sometimes practical matters must be considered. And propriety. This cabin won’t hold any more charity cases.”
“Propriety?” She kept her voice low, but still managed to make the word ring with distaste. “It will never stop me from following my heart and conscience.”
