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Missy repacked the box, with the children following every move of her hands, as if saying goodbye to each item. As if saying goodbye to their life. A tear dropped to the back of her hand but she wiped it off and continued until everything was back and Wade closed the top on the box.
The two valises sat untouched and the four of them stared at the bags. Would they contain something to comfort the children or would there be only disappointment? Missy didn’t want to face the possibility of the latter. It seemed the children didn’t, either. But Wade pulled one valise closer and folded back the top. “We might as well see what’s here.”
With less enthusiasm than they’d shown previously, the children pulled out items. This bag held boy’s clothing. Missy realized it contained the things Joey needed for the present. Annie sat back and let him remove the contents. He carefully lifted each shirt and each pair of trousers, almost reverently setting them aside. At the bottom of the bag he felt something and grew still, his eyes wide. Slowly, he lifted out a photograph and stared at it. “Mama and Papa.” The words came out in a whisper.
He turned the picture so Annie could see it. She sucked in a sigh and then released it.
No one moved. Missy wondered if anyone breathed as the children drank in the likeness of their parents.
Joey kept the photograph on his lap and searched the corners of the bag for something more.
Missy knew the moment he’d found it. He froze, one hand in the valise, his eyes wide, his mouth open. Then he swallowed twice and slowly withdrew his hand. “My ball.” He burst into tears.
Wade and Missy reached for him at the same time. Their arms crossed as they comforted Joey, but neither of them withdrew. The weight of Wade’s arm across Missy’s sent a rush of warmth straight to her heart. She was instantly thirteen years old again, longing to be comforted. She’d gone to Gordie in tears, overwrought about their parents’ death, but her brother had pushed her away. Told her it was time to grow up. Wade, to his credit, simply held Joey now and let him shed as many tears as he needed to.
Annie scrambled over the valise, lifted the photograph from Joey’s knees, crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms about him.
Missy wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. She could not bring herself to look at Wade, fearing her emotions would riot out of control and she would become a teary mess.
When Joey’s sobs subsided he shared a memory. “Papa played catch with me every time he could.” He darted a glance to his uncle.
Missy almost chuckled at the boy’s subtle hint.
Wade nodded. “Tell you what. We’ll play catch, too.”
Joey grinned. “I’d like that.”
Annie slipped from her brother’s lap and squatted in front of the last valise. Wade opened it and the others sat back as Annie slowly lifted out little-girl garments and set them aside. After each she looked from Missy to Joey to Wade. Not until her uncle said, “Go ahead,” did she take out the next item.
She looked into the bag and squealed in delight, but kept her hands on her knees and stared at the object.
“What is it?” Missy asked softly.
Gently, Annie lifted out a soiled and worn cloth doll. “My dolly, Mary.” She hugged the doll to her neck and rocked back and forth, humming a lullaby.
Missy heart overflowed at this child’s pleasure. But her joy was intermingled with unshed tears. She shared a glance with Wade. From his trembling smile she guessed he struggled with the same emotions she did.
Their gaze remained locked. His smile fled and then returned with warmth and understanding, finding an answering smile in her heart. They might not have much in common. They had plans that didn’t involve the other. Certainly they were at odds about what his plans for the children were. But unmistakably they shared tender affection for these children.
Annie looked about the room as if searching for something else, saw her new doll on the kitchen table and trotted over to get it. “Mary, you have a sister now. This is Martha.” With one arm clutching each doll, she hugged them both to her neck.
Joey shifted to face Wade. “Are you leaving us here?”
Still on the floor, Wade sat back and crossed his legs with an ease that said he often sat this way. Missy could imagine him on the ground before a campfire, a tin cup of steaming coffee in his hand. The picture made her smile and, at the same time, filled her with an unfamiliar restlessness.
Her smile fled as she waited for Wade to explain his plans to the children.
He caught Annie and pulled her to his lap. “I’m not leaving for a little while. You both know I don’t want to ever leave you but...” He shrugged, then brightened. “But Missy is going to help take care of you while we’re here. How do you like that?”
Joey grinned. “I like that.”
Annie reached for Missy’s hand and pulled her closer. “Me, too.”
The children looked at each other, sharing a secret. Then Joey nodded. “I’ll ask.” He considered Wade a moment as if gathering up the nerve.
“What is it?” Wade prompted.
“Annie and I want to have our own Christmas. Not one with so many strangers.”
Wade turned to Missy. “What do you think?”
“Sounds good to me.” She turned to Joey. “Did you have something in mind?”
Joey wriggled with excitement. “Tomorrow is the day after Christmas. Boxing Day, Mama called it. She said it used to be when people gave their servants money and gifts back in England. We don’t have servants, but she said Grandma considered the animals her servants, so they would go to the barn and decorate it to celebrate Jesus being born in a manger. Can we do that tomorrow?”
Missy’s throat clogged. The children didn’t want gifts for themselves; they wanted only to make Christmas memorable.
She turned toward Wade, intending to tell him she’d help him decorate the barn if Eddie approved. But Wade looked as if he’d been stabbed through the heart.
He shifted Annie to Missy’s lap and strode from the room.
* * *
Wade stumbled out the back door into the clear evening. Trying to calm himself, he sucked in the cold air and commanded his thoughts to fall into order.
The door behind him opened, threw out a patch of golden lamplight before him, then closed softly. He felt Missy at his side but did not look her way nor acknowledge her.
Her hand touched his arm and rested there. “Wade, what’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Nothin’.”
“‘Nothin’’ doesn’t send a man rushing out into the night.”
She had a point. His thoughts untangled and dashed to his tongue. “It was my mother who began the tradition of decorating a manger for Christmas. Born and raised a proper English miss, she couldn’t dismiss Boxing Day as just another day. I remember how eagerly Susan and I looked forward to our trip to the barn the day after Christmas.”
“Susan was your sister? The children’s mother?”
He nodded. “My parents are gone. My sister is gone. My wife is gone.”
Missy’s fingers trembled on his arm. “You were married?”
“A long time ago. I tried to get her to decorate the manger with me but she didn’t see the value of doing so.” To Tomasina it was a silly, childish practice. After her death, he’d been glad to join Susan and her family in carrying on the tradition.
“It will be good for the children to continue their customary way of celebrating the day.”
Enough light came from the window for him to watch Missy’s hand run along his arm. Was she even aware she did it?
He shifted away, forcing her to drop her arm to her side. He didn’t need or want comfort. Not for himself. She could save it for the children. He lived the life he wanted and deserved.
“It’s getting cold.” He opened the door and held it for her to enter. When they stepped inside, Joey and Annie watched them with wide, fearful eyes. He understood life was uncertain for them at the moment, the future unknown. The best he could do was get them settled as soon as possible. Only then could they begin to adjust to the facts of their life.
They were young enough to adapt.
He knew he never would. He’d learned his past went with him, bleeding into his present and staining his future. One simply did not forget finding one’s wife dead of her own choice. At least Susan and her husband had died of natural causes. One could put that down to God’s timing. Then all one had to do was believe God had a good and perfect plan in mind. Though, truth be told, there were times Wade found it hard to see the good in things. But then wasn’t that what trust was—believing when he couldn’t see?
To reassure the children he pasted a smile on his face. “I’ll ask Eddie about decorating a manger.”
“What is it you want to ask Eddie?” The man in question entered the room.
Wade explained the Snyder tradition and Eddie wasted no time consenting. “It sounds great.”
Grady was at Eddie’s heels. “Can I go with you tomorrow?” the boy asked Wade.
“Of course you may.”
Grady grinned in pleasure and Eddie squeezed his shoulder, as happy as the child, then he turned to the others. “My wife has fallen asleep. I think Louise and Nate have, as well. That leaves us to fend for ourselves for something to eat.” He set out leftover ham and turkey and sliced a loaf of bread, while Wade put Annie’s things back in the valise and pushed their boxes and bags to one side of the room.
When the three adults and three children gathered around the table, Eddie asked the blessing. Annie placed her two dolls on either side of her and patted each.
Mealtime was quiet, the children tired out from the long day and the adults somewhat subdued, as well. As soon as they were satisfied and the dishes quickly disposed of, Eddie led Wade and the children upstairs. Missy apparently had a room on the main floor and called good-night as the others climbed the steps.
Annie paused on the steps, looking over her shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep?” she asked Missy. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”
“I have a room down here. I’ll be here when you get up tomorrow.”
Wade gathered his niece in his arms and carried her up the stairs. She was practically asleep on his shoulder by the time Eddie showed him a room for the children and an adjoining one for himself. He helped the children prepare for bed, then withdrew to the next room, hoping the children wouldn’t be upset by being separated from him.
* * *
He woke the next morning to two children bouncing on his bed.
“It’s morning,” Annie said with a bounce.
“You sure?” His voice was gravelly.
“We’re doing something special today. ’Member?”
He cracked one eye open. “Not before breakfast.”
“Aren’t you getting up?” Joey bounced twice just for good measure.
“Where’s Missy?” Annie added another bounce. “I want to wake her up.” She jumped toward the side of the bed.
Wade lifted his head and eyed her. “You will not go downstairs until I say so.” He cocked an ear and listened. “I don’t think anyone else is awake. And you shouldn’t be, either.” He let his head fall to the pillow, closed his eyes and wished for the forgetfulness of sleep.
“They’re awake, Uncle Wade. I heard baby Chloe and baby Jonathan crying when we came in here.” Joey seemed to think that was reason enough to make sure everyone in the house was up.
Wade had jerked awake a couple times in the night, hearing the babies cry. Once, he’d thought he was out in the range and coyotes were nearby. He’d reached for his rifle, but found only bedding. By that time his heart raced and he was wide-awake.
Now as he lay there his thoughts harkened back to the previous day. His agreement with the Gardiners meant he would be days late getting to Stuart’s place. Stuart would wonder when he didn’t show up, though he’d wait a few days before he gave it much mind. By then, Wade would be there.
There wasn’t much traffic to and from Fort Macleod this time of year, but a man and woman anxious to adopt two children would find a way of making arrangements. Until then Wade and Missy Porter would entertain the children.
He tried to decide what he thought of that young lady.
Very pretty for sure.
Alone. Just as he was. Except he at least had the children for the next few days. He pushed aside the sorrow of knowing he would soon have to say good-bye to them. Perhaps never see them again, depending on the wishes of the new parents.
Missy was opinionated, as well. She certainly knew what she wanted, which was to his advantage. He could offer her a paying job.
Doubts crowded his mind. Had he done the right thing in asking for her help?
But she was kind and she’d be good to the children. They needed tons of kindness and affection at the moment.
He rubbed his arm where she had touched him. Warmth trickled into his heart like water from a block of ice under a warm spring sun.
The children, realizing they must wait before going downstairs, curled up beside him.
“Tell us a story,” Annie begged.
“Yes, do,” Joey added, trying not to sound as eager as his younger sister.
“Me?”
“Like Mama used to.” Annie voice threatened tears.
“You’re all we got.” Joey had no idea how inadequate that made Wade feel.
“Okay, I’ll try. Once upon a time there was a cowboy.”
“Oh, I like that.” Annie’s eyes were wide with expectation. “A cowboy who loved a lady.”
“Hey, whose story is this?”
“You have to have a lady.” Annie nodded with absolute certainty.
“You’re sure?” He looked to Joey for backing on this idea, but his nephew nodded. The boy offered no escape at all.
“Okay.” Wade wasn’t going to be able to avoid it. “There was a cowboy who had a lady.”
“Loved a lady,” Annie corrected.
He sighed. “How do you know he loved her?”
“He knew it here.” She patted her chest.
“Is that what your mama said?” Susan had been such a romantic.
